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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:20:07 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

The fact you asked though was an attempt at a snipe, and I sniped back.. I'm good with you. To be honest it dissapoints me, that people cannot debate a differing point of view without that sort of thing. At least though we have both risen above it.

No, it was a genuine question. I couldn't (still can't) work out what you were (are) doing here.

As for the subject of that particular thread, you were so far into hyperbole and hysteria that you weren't really capable of anything approaching debate. Hence me giving up discussing it with you.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:27:39 PM   
PhilSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

The fact you asked though was an attempt at a snipe, and I sniped back.. I'm good with you. To be honest it dissapoints me, that people cannot debate a differing point of view without that sort of thing. At least though we have both risen above it.

No, it was a genuine question. I couldn't (still can't) work out what you were (are) doing here.

As for the subject of that particular thread, you were so far into hyperbole and hysteria that you weren't really capable of anything approaching debate. Hence me giving up discussing it with you.


I think my posts were far shorter than the replies, indicating a lack of hysteria. Just a thought.

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Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:31:32 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

I think my posts were far shorter than the replies, indicating a lack of hysteria. Just a thought.

Shorter but full of much stronger language. You were the one throwing around terms like 'abuse' and 'addictions' and 'ohnoes! We have to protect the poor vulnerable menz from those evil wimminfolk!' (Ok, so I may be paraphrasing, but short doesn't mean calm or logical or reasonable, it means short. Nothing more.)

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:34:35 PM   
PhilSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

I think my posts were far shorter than the replies, indicating a lack of hysteria. Just a thought.

Shorter but full of much stronger language. You were the one throwing around terms like 'abuse' and 'addictions' and 'ohnoes! We have to protect the poor vulnerable menz from those evil wimminfolk!' (Ok, so I may be paraphrasing, but short doesn't mean calm or logical or reasonable, it means short. Nothing more.)



Those are opinions, and the language is no stronger than calling the people who do give money 'stupid', I think they are probably emotionally vulnerable and do need protection from abuse. That's not hysteria, it's opinion.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:37:36 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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Do you really want me to pull quotes? I will if you really want - you used plenty of strong language. But I'm laaaaaaazy, and it's late. Go read the thread again through my eyes, if you want. You definitely came across as hysterical. Kind of like you are now on the other thread with the CREEPY AND WEIRD CREEPY AND WEIRD schtick, but that's funny rather than just sad like the other one.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:43:18 PM   
PhilSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Do you really want me to pull quotes? I will if you really want - you used plenty of strong language. But I'm laaaaaaazy, and it's late. Go read the thread again through my eyes, if you want. You definitely came across as hysterical. Kind of like you are now on the other thread with the CREEPY AND WEIRD CREEPY AND WEIRD schtick, but that's funny rather than just sad like the other one.


Trust me neither is hysterical. I do feel some on here are not used to being disagreed with in a constructive way though and expect people to agree just because they are acting collectively and shouting (re postings) loudly.

It is weird to try and get people who are not on a forum to leave voice messages. Really weird.

< Message edited by PhilSlave -- 5/29/2011 5:44:02 PM >

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:52:08 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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What's weirder is how seriously you're taking it.

People in general aren't used to being disagreed with in a constructive way. But I have yet to see you disagree with anyone in a constructive way, so I don't think you get to make a judgement on that one. And just so you know, repeatedly going CREEPY AND WEIRD CREEPY AND WEIRD is the equivalent of 'shouting loudly'.

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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 6:14:46 PM   
PhilSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

What's weirder is how seriously you're taking it.

People in general aren't used to being disagreed with in a constructive way. But I have yet to see you disagree with anyone in a constructive way, so I don't think you get to make a judgement on that one. And just so you know, repeatedly going CREEPY AND WEIRD CREEPY AND WEIRD is the equivalent of 'shouting loudly'.


I do find it creepy and weird, look it's late and i'm off to bed. It's certainly not important enough to stay up for. ;-)

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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 7:16:34 PM   
DeviantlyD


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I didn't read all of the posts on here...today, I just don't have the attention span to do so, but let me answer your OP, as well as some of the other questions you've posed in other threads you've started.

The world in general is comprised of a variety of people types: those who have different opinions, different experiences, different outlooks on life and more. We all have similarities - we all want to have a home that protects us from the elements, where we can sleep safely, where we can clean ourselves, where we can eat, etc.; we all want to have a good life; we all want to have at least one or more people to share our lives with...there are more similarities, but I'm sure you get the idea.

The differences and similarities don't go away just because someone may find a certain aspect of life (BDSM, kink, however one wishes to describe it) speaks to them. So in that way, sure, there are going to be people whose behaviour and possibly how they define themselves falls into the dominant realm, which they could attribute to someone wronging them...that they no longer want to place themselves at anyone else's mercy but feel they need to be the one in control. However, this doesn't apply to everyone who identifies as a dominant. I would hazard a guess that it comprises a small fraction and certainly not the majority.

This same reasoning applies to the other situations you've brought up in threads - yes, there may be some female dominants who are no different than beggars when it comes to financial domination, but I would guess this stems from something unhealthy in their lives, and certainly cannot apply to the majority. People need to use their own common sense! Common sense dictates that if someone you meet online is expecting money from you up front, that this person is into the money and not into you. Why would anyone involve themselves with someone who they know is not interested in them?

And as for your thread asking if kinky sex is "an attempt to fill a void caused by an inability to love in an equal way?" I would say yes, this may apply to some. How can it not, considering the variety of people and experiences out there? But I don't believe it is typical, nor is it the majority.

I read your profile. In it you made some judgments based on (I'm guessing) a few experiences on one web site. Truly, if you want to find a woman willing to dominate you in a way that appeals to you, get out in real life and don't rely on a web site. And use your common sense!!!! If someone is probing for information that you don't feel comfortable revealing, then don't! Being a submissive doesn't mean you give up your opinions and your wants and needs. Being submissive doesn't mean you kowtow to every person who gives themselves the description of dominant. You aren't their submissive and don't have to behave as such until you have reached that stage in the relationship. I'm certainly not going to give anyone I have only messaged with online that power over me. This site may be a place for some to meet a person(s) they are compatible with, but I think the best way to approach it is for the discovery phase, to get an idea of whether there may be more between you and another in order to know if you want to explore things further in real time. And if real time is what you're looking for, online isn't the place to realistically "do" a dom/sub relationship.

Hopefully you aren't like me, because if you are, you won't be able to get through this post before losing interest. ;) But if you do get through this post, I hope it will make you realize that a lot of the questions you are asking are ones you already know the answer to. To me, it seems as if the types of questions you are asking are really more of a form of venting and less to do with not having an answer. I can also tell you this little truth we all tend to forget: be the type of person you want to be with. Would you respond to a dominant female's profile who complained that they won't find anyone on here and that there are so many scammers out there? I can tell you it's a turn-off to read - regardless of whether it's true or not. No one wants to read whining in a profile. So I would recommend redoing your profile, pointing out the positive aspects of who you are as a person and who you feel you would mesh with.

That's my take on the whole thing.

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 5:15:18 PM   
masterlink65


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you dont believe the things you say? your post makes little sense, if any at all

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Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 5:31:51 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

Or is it something else, a need for power that they don't have in reality?

I'm only talking about the type of Dom/Domme who actually believes their rhetoric.


I'm only a sub, so I'm pissed off at everybody.

(It's a gift I was born with....sometimes even I don't know how I do it).

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 5:54:50 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Poor JJ. Go watch a capybara video.

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 7:28:22 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Poor JJ. Go watch a capybara video.


Might help.


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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 7:30:08 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Of course it will caplincapybara on youtube. Gari is doing the most adorable things underwater!

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Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 7:39:34 PM   
0ldhen


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From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
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I think that some, not all mind you, but some, dominants (not talking top now) simply want that one thing, that is so precious, so wondrous, so undeniably valuable to them, to possess, to own, to have in a fashion that is unutterably theirs.

I think they seek the one who in that moment when the dominant can at last grab that submissive/slave and state "MINE" satifies something in their very core.

I think the kink, the play, is just a part of that for some, but not all. But I do not think that the kink, the play, is the sum of why they are dominant.



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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 7:58:02 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Ever so true, Oldhen! If I never pick up a whip again, I will still be a dominant.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 8:12:04 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: 0ldhen



I think that some, not all mind you, but some, dominants (not talking top now) simply want that one thing, that is so precious, so wondrous, so undeniably valuable to them, to possess, to own, to have in a fashion that is unutterably theirs.

I think they seek the one who in that moment when the dominant can at last grab that submissive/slave and state "MINE" satifies something in their very core.

I think the kink, the play, is just a part of that for some, but not all. But I do not think that the kink, the play, is the sum of why they are dominant.




You know, I don't think I quite got it about dominants till I read that.


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Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 8:16:29 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Now you're just sucking up.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 8:21:50 PM   
PeonForHer


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It's true, Lady Hib - I've found it very, very difficult to work out what makes Dommes tick.

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/30/2011 8:24:07 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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Too much time on the interwebs!

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