Suleiman
Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline
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I realise this is a tired topic here, and there are a number of threads dealing with this subject
like this one
or this one
and even this one
Normally I don't weigh in on these discussion, because I have no real insight to the topic, either for or against. This morning, however, I was struck by a thought, which clarified to me why I'm not particularly bothered by the concept of "money slaves" and the dommes who demand tribute.
Consider, if you will, the sheer weight of individuals who are a part of collarme. There are over 55000 registered users. That's fifty-five thousand profiles to wade through. Granted, most of these are inactive, and a certian percentage of them are redundant profiles created by people who enjoy the freedom of having multiple personae at their disposal. That still leaves many thousands, if not tens of thousands, of active users who come to this site.
HNGs and trolls are a common nuiscance here, sort of this site's equivalent to spammers. We all roll our eyes at them, but for the most part, after the first wave of inappropriate Emails, those who are prone to attract trolls learn to simply ignore them and wade through their messages in search of the few from friends and lovers that they actually want to recieve. Trolls are a nuiscance because they are proactive. They will fire off a hopeful message to anything that looks like it might fulfil their fantasy of the moment.
Money fetishists, by contrast, are essentially passive. There are very few subs who state in their profile that they want to be used as money slaves. There are significantly more dommes, of varying degrees of skill and experience, who state unequivocably that tribute must be a part of their scene.
Some folks here take it upon themselves to wag their fingers at what they percieve to be parasites preying on the needs of vulnerable subbies. But after a quick perusal of the profiles that mention "money" (I love the search option here, even if it is a bit limited) one begins to realise a flaw in the predatory argument:
Money Dommes are NOT trolls. They do not go around soliciting from every submissive that shows up here. Most in fact leave the lasting impression that, having placed an ad here,they need only sit back and let the adoring public come to them. Dominants of either gender are, on this site, a majority. Far more than half the profiles state they are looking for a certian kind of submissive. This means that the submissives have the upper hand when it comes to picking who their master, mistress, or play partner will be.
Of the money dommes I have seen the search engine churn up, some of them are professionals who like to incorporate money or "blackmail" into their scenes. They have all of the other normal attributes of a professional dominant and could very easily match some sub's idea of fun. Many of the money dommes revealed are devoted amateurs who like the idea of their submissive showing them respect and worship by buying them gifts and offering to support them. I can get behind the romance of such a scene (I am a die-hard romantic, especially as a sub) and in fact if I were more financially stable I would probably spend money like water on the person I adore.
There are a few profiles, however, that appear to be little more than selfish gold-diggers cloaking their avarice under the blanket of domliness. There are also a far greater number of dominants who have other, equally serious issues. Looking for a partner in the BDSM world does incorporate an element of personal danger. Some folks in our community just aren't stable. Likewise, some folks in our community are just looking for a free ride and think that SM is their ticket. There are dommes who expect to be payed before they'll even talk to you, and there are subs who only list "expenses payed" in their interests and essentially say they're looking for a sugar daddy and are willing to wear a collar as part of the arrangement.
Such people exist, and will continue to exist. As far as the "poor, vulnerable subbies" being taken advantage of by the more parasitical arm of the money domme set, I should point out that such subs have their pick of potential mistresses. Whom would you choose - the teenager who flat out says "give me money or I won't talk to you", the lifestyle dominant who says she expects you to support her as part of your duties to her, or the prodomme who states that "tribute" is a non-negotiable part of scening with her? I know which of the three I won't try to contact.
It's really not worth getting into an uproar over. The true dominant will find a way to incorporate any interest they have into their play time and relationships, be it money, clowns, or race cars. The fakes and pretenders will always exist and usually only have the other fakes and pretenders to interact with. The trolls find plenty of partners - that's why they keep coming back. Who is it that's playing with them? The other trolls, more often than not. There's no need to come rushing in like a knight in armor. These things can and will sort themselves out.
Just my two bits on the subject.
~S
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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.
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Another dead horse - 
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