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ResidentSadist -> -=OOOOPs . . . no anal lube=- (6/1/2011 8:23:20 AM)
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So there I was in a moment of passionate spontaneity, the ropes, whips and willing slave strewn about the bed from a healthy row that has me worked up pretty good. The only thing that could slake my lust at this point would be the right proper application of some violent anal domination/penetration. Flipping open the lovely hand carved accessories box that is conveniently located within arms reach of the bed, I discover the anal lube is empty . . . nary a drop to be had. My little head starts arguing with my big head . . . the topic of conflict is whether I care if this wench tears open bleeding and runs off in the morning never to return. “Just fuck her dry, blood will eventually lube things up” . . . but alas, the consequence is probably never to use that ass again.
Most of my bathroom products have fragrance or other additives in them. Fortunately for everhope, I recalled the rule of thumb, "if you can eat it, you can shove it in their ass." I thought of all the stuff in the kitchen that might lube things up enough so this wasn’t our last passionate encounter, nor would it end by rushing her off for medical attention afterwards. I took the high road, determined that applying some anal lube would be incredibly considerate . . . polite even. I headed for the kitchen not the bathroom.
Standing naked in the middle of the kitchen with a raging hard on, I recall there are no sticks of butter so I can’t pull off the Marlon Brando scene from last Tango in Paris. I look through the cupboard and see several liquid options, olive oil, canola oil, sesame oil and regular vegetable oil. All those oils seemed rather messy alternatives. I could imagine the sloppy oils running all over the place and wrecking my bed. It made me yearn for that old fashioned can of Criso you could dip your fingers into and apply exactly where you wanted it . . . melts in the ass, not the hand.
I’ve been in the kitchen at least 5 or 10 seconds now . . . being anally polite only lasts so long ya’ know. Pretty soon my inner beast will take over and it won’t matter if everhope’s screams are of pain, pleasure or just yelling for someone, anyone to call 911 because she is being anally destroyed. As thoughts of the consequences verses wrecking the bed with sloppy cooking oil play out in my mind, there it is, way in the back of the cupboard . . . the Holy Grail of improvisational lube, the WD40 of Heaven’s Gate, a can of PAM (spray cooking oil).
The spray sticks where you aim it. It applies a nice thin coat and you can aim it right into the asshole. 15 long seconds after I first left a slave splayed out on my bed, I returned with a can of PAM and now I am happily burying my body parts deep in her ass.
PAM . . . the other anal lube.
Just sayin’
A note about why I didn’t use anything with fragrance or possible irritants. Despite the rule of thumb, “if you can eat it you can put it in your ass”, the anal passage is much more sensitive than taking something orally. You can probably drink a pint of liquor, but if pour it in your ass you very well may die of alcohol poisoning. Same with things like coffee or tea.
When it comes time for some good ol’ anal domination and penetration, have you found a good alternative lube other than “spit and pray”?
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