juliaoceania
Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
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quote:
I just don't think men have the same experience as women do as they get older. Let me take it a step back before "desperation"...
When an older man is single, he still has the women in his age bracket as potential mates (not playmates - mates) as well as younger women. It's a fairly common thing, May-December romances and such from the May gal and the December fellow. However, the flip side of that, older women, don't realistically have as much potential for a mate (again, not PLAYmate but actual mates) due to societal prejudice against older women/younger men. It is certainly shifting, but it is still a reality.
I know a good many women who married younger men.
I also showed you that men tend to want to commit to women their own age...
quote:
I think in particular women in their (our?) forties / fifties in which menopause is or is becoming a factor specifically lose out a big chunk of the "younger men" potential because those men, generally speaking, want children. That leaves men the woman's own age and older - who are often worshiping at the altar of youth in a *desperate* attempt to re-capture their own.
On the other side of that, men are using viagra in droves to get erections...I think men hit a different wall than women do. They can still get a woman pregnant, but their stamina is different. Both women and men change as they get older. I know this as someone who was involved with a man in his 50s when I was in my 30s.... it was FAR different than men my own age. I loved him, but I decided after that I wanted to be with men my own age.
quote:
Obviously, this is not applicable to individual people - I know that everybody has a friend who.... - but from a statistical point of view, I would think the numbers are different.
Thinking the numbers are different and showing them to be are two different things. Our culture is in flux right now, for example, more people in their 50s are divorcing than ever before.
quote:
I found it interesting - and enlightening - that it was brought up that men die younger. *doh* I know that. I totally forgot about that when I was writing earlier. It's an excellent point, and I have to wonder if it changes the stats of May-December romances
But you forgot that women and men are starting to live about the same amount of time, and that for women in their 40s this isn't a factor anymore
quote:
If I gave the impression that I thought anything negative about older women it was unintentional. For me, I'm trying to find the balance between getting my hopes up and then dashed (which *for me* can be pretty devastating - I'm a dreamer, after all) and being realistic. My responses on this thread (and others) and my lack of clarity are an outgrowth of that struggle. I'm thinking "out loud" more or less.
I know I'm not clear (and I'm ok with that), but I do appreciate the discussion and the opportunity to look at things from perspectives I hadn't considered before.
To me, it says a great deal about the character of the people here where we can have affection and appreciation for one another and be completely at odds or in the midst of misunderstanding. For myself, I'm glad for that.
I do not know what your hopes are, or your past, or how these things meet up together. Seriously, from my point of view I have no trouble finding men of varying ages interested in me. My problem is that I do not return that interest. I need a man who has an intellectual capacity that I can respect, and men like that do not grow on trees.
I really love the The City (San Francisco) because of its intellectual outlets, and there are a couple of very intelligent men I have talked to in that area. I have been thinking that is where I should try to land because it would be more likely I would meet someone like minded there, and I love it there.
I am also not hung up on lifestyle labels and I do not need a dom. I need a man that I click with, and if I find him here, great... but I would never limit myself to this site. And I would never limit myself to kinky folks.... it is hard enough for me to find someone, and that has ALWAYS been the case, even when I was 30.
< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/9/2011 10:05:19 AM >
_____________________________
Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard
Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt
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RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 
Profile
Sure you were 15 years younger, you were attracted to each other, both probably had a lot of good times, etc but.. it didnt last. I want to find the most compatible person I can so I dont have to go thru this again. I might succeed in it lasting that long, I might not, but darn it all, I am going to try! So I view anyone that contacts me in that light- how compatible are we and do I think it could last? 
. I love that invention and for me, I eat right, work out, spend a lot of time on my appearance, hell no I am not going to turn down something that is so simple, non permanent, and erases wrinkles. It's the best way to stay young looking and fresh FOR ME and I love it. I think a lot of people don't even know how it works or what it is and they see these fish mouthed wax faced actresses and assume that's botox. No. That is restalyne or collagen, poorly placed etc. Botox is only for areas ABOVE the eye and crows feet. All that other shit is not botox. I refuse to feel guilty about using it and I am gonna do it til I am an old lady. There is nothing "desperate" about wanting to stay hot. Oh and some older men actually have full heads of hair and dress impeccaably, I managed to find one. Thank god. 
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