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RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 8:26:35 AM

strangedesire

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

Don't tell your parents. Move out if you'd like, but it isn't necessary.

If you want to get a few toys, go ahead. Get a locking suitcase, a shoebox under your bed, whatever. A dog collar in your desk drawer doesn't look that weird, nor does a bundle of rope in a bog with a book on decorative knots. (When I was living at home, I once had to convince my mother that I had bought a metal dog cage "for an elaborate prank." I'm not sure that she believed it, but she tried - there are some things she doesn't want to know about her daughter.)

To them, any girl you bring home will be "a friend" or "your girlfriend." If you can't schedule play dates for when you have the house to yourself, scrape together the change for a motel every now and then, or get creative.

From looking at your profile - if you hire a pro, she should provide the space and have her own toys. You generally won't be "tributing" your dominant girlfriend - that's a different kind of relationship.

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Post #: 21

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 8:56:20 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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Oh for fucks sake, when my son was 17, he was cleaning his room and hiding the condoms so well that it took me a half hour to find them

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Post #: 22

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 10:12:32 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

You should move out, because whenever I dated a guy who was still living at home (without a valid reason like looking after the parents but just so that mom could pamper him), it didn't last and people do need privacy.

Who is going to pay his bills while he is still in school or do you think he should drop out also? I mean what's more important, an education or getting laid?

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Post #: 23

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 10:32:34 AM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I mean what's more important, an education or getting laid?

hmmm ....

Difficult question.

Can I get back to you on that?

Firm

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Post #: 24

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 10:36:08 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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Dear Mom,

I’m sure I haven’t thanked you enough for all that you and Dad have done for me. You both have sacrificed and given from your hearts and I want to thank you for being amazing parents. You raised me to become a man and a man I am becoming. You have taught me many things in life and one thing I know for sure, is that you raised me to be a thoughtful man, that takes on responsibilities and manages my life as an adult would.

I know you love me and want to make things easier for me and I truly appreciate that. However, being the man you raised me to be, I must hold myself accountable and learn to handle all that a man would. I do think that I need to be able to handle all my responsibilities as a prelude to the day when I finish college, find a job and move out. I think of this as a stepping stone or a way to learn to balance all that I will have to do when I do take on a more independent life. I feel I must use this time while I am still here to get used to doing for myself.

With this in mind, my beloved mother, I think it is time that I added cleaning my room. I realize that my standards of a clean room might not meet your standards, but how can I learn on my own unless I am allowed to be the man I have become, because of you? If you would like to help me, please just write down some of the cleaning tips you might give me and let me take it from there.

I thank you mom for everything and I love you so very much!

Son

*You could add a rose beside the note for an added personal touch and a mom feel good.

Then get a lock box just in case she has withdrawals. Be prepared to deal with all other responsibilities. lol If this doesn't work... buy her the movie... Failure to Launch and see that she watches it.

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Post #: 25

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 10:52:49 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whitedragonX
Yes because its her house, and she LOVES to clean she does work but she still cleans. When I tell her I can clean my own room she tells me "Dear you need to rest up for school/work" OR "Go help your father"

Just to take a quick moment here to explain where I'm coming from. There's a parallel in place.

When My kids were growing up (and I do mean growing up, not once they were already adults) things like cleaning their own room and any other chore that they had in the house was done to My standard. If she's still doing it because you're not as thorough as she would be, you need to step it up.

That's pretty much the attitude that you're going to get from a Dominant woman anyway. It doesn't matter if it's 'good enough' for you. If it's not good enough for her, you're going to be doing it again anyway. I can just see clip (any of My boys, really) trying to get a task past that isn't up to standard. If it has to pass the white glove test, put the effort into it. Just do it. Then Mom won't see the need.

Consider it practice in submitting to the standards and rules held by someone else.

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(in reply to whitedragonX)

Post #: 26

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 10:57:36 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

LadyPact, that is a great idea and post! Makes perfect sense!

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Post #: 27

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 12:04:59 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whitedragonX

I turned 21 this past May and I still live with my parents. Its free room and board while I'm at college. The only bad thing is I really want to get into BDSM- find myself a mistress, I also want toys) however my parents have no idea what so ever. My sister sort of knows because she is a natural male preadator. She isn't really interested in this stuff and I also want to keep her away from it (it will make her worse) For her guys exist to carry her purse and to be foot rest, but thats about it for her.

Now my mom is mild mannered babies me (sucks- hell she still cleans my room, if try to do it well IM doing it wrong)
My dad well he doesnt give a shit.

How should I tell my mom? "Hi mom I'm a pervert that likes bdsm"
OR should I just move the hell out and let them live in ignorant bliss?

Erm.....do you really want your mom to know anything regarding your personal/intimate life?

I have to side with most here saying it's time you step up to the plate and take more responsibilities as a young adult. It is good that you are still able to live at home while going to college yet there will come a point when your mom will not be physically capable of doing the chores you should be doing now. Yes it is her house and "if try to do it well IM doing it wrong), " maybe ask her to show you how she likes your room to be cleaned and then start cleaning to her expectations?

Fact of the matter is, and this is a tough issue between parents and their children, is that boundaries are needed as the relationship changes between a parent and their adult children, especially when the child is a young adult and trying to find their place in this world. Parents will always look upon us as their child and don't like to conceptualize us as self sufficient adults. The choice to move out still rests on your shoulders, just ensure you weigh all pros and cons to moving out or staying before making a life changing decision.

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(in reply to whitedragonX)

Post #: 28

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 12:11:45 PM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

i haeve a step son of 22 and to be honest we wish he showed some intrest in anything other than a computer and if we found the odd toy at least we would think he was not a total nerd. but then we are openminded. at 22 your mum should allow you privacy and you shouldnt need to out yourself to her lol i wil never out myself to my parents. ok i am 60 so a bit different) but you should be cleaning and tidying to her standard its her house as you say so follow her rules.

i think you need to sort yoruself out before fidning a domme. get through school college etc, and try to oercome shyness etc

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)

Post #: 29

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 12:18:51 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

You should move out, because whenever I dated a guy who was still living at home (without a valid reason like looking after the parents but just so that mom could pamper him), it didn't last and people do need privacy.

I think attending college is a valid reason...

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(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 30

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/22/2011 2:23:29 PM

sexisubi

Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

get a degree thats more important relationships can come later. go to their house to "study" instead.

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(in reply to whitedragonX)

Post #: 31

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/23/2011 3:38:50 PM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

Put your kinks on hold, finish college, find a good job, save enough money to to move out and be self sufficient, and then look for a mistress in that order.

(in reply to sexisubi)

Post #: 32

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/23/2011 6:05:59 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whitedragonX

I turned 21 this past May and I still live with my parents. Its free room and board while I'm at college. The only bad thing is I really want to get into BDSM- find myself a mistress, I also want toys) however my parents have no idea what so ever. My sister sort of knows because she is a natural male preadator. She isn't really interested in this stuff and I also want to keep her away from it (it will make her worse) For her guys exist to carry her purse and to be foot rest, but thats about it for her.

Now my mom is mild mannered babies me (sucks- hell she still cleans my room, if try to do it well IM doing it wrong)
My dad well he doesnt give a shit.

How should I tell my mom? "Hi mom I'm a pervert that likes bdsm"
OR should I just move the hell out and let them live in ignorant bliss?

Bud, there's a vastly larger question here...and I don't think I need to ask it.

(in reply to whitedragonX)

Post #: 33

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/23/2011 6:08:19 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

(Although, I'd like to add....I need a house cleaner....any chance of adoption?)

(in reply to whitedragonX)

Post #: 34

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/23/2011 6:55:13 PM

hematitan

Posts: 49
Joined: 6/25/2010
Status: offline

Sometimes, you have to put some parts of your life on the back burner while you take care of other things. My mom likes to say, "You can have it all, just not at the same time." That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but it's largely true.

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, in that I'm finishing my degree and living with family in the meantime. I'm not actively looking for any serious, committed relationships for that reason. I just don't feel it's the best time in my life to go looking for that when I have other, more pressing things to worry about at the moment.

You can't put everything off until tomorrow, but even so, you'll probably still have a lot of chances to do this stuff after you finish your degree and get a bit more settled.

I'd be very careful about moving out. Living at home isn't always the coolest option, but it can save you a lot of money and convenience. Don't move out unless you're prepared for the expense. Something like a dorm may not offer you much privacy and flexibility for sex and kinky play, either, and private apartments can be prohibitive unless you have a roommate or two. So you may not get a perfect, private option right away, regardless.

But living at home shouldn't be an excuse to delay adulthood. You should be able to have some amount of privacy, even if it means locking some stuff up. And in order to meet mistresses to begin with, you need to have the confidence to get to know someone and go on a date. Take as much responsibility for your own life as you're able to. And if you have transportation, there's nothing stopping you from looking into local activities or meeting people if you really want to. It can be amazing what you can do if you're determined. But again, you have to weigh everything out. We can do a lot of things, but some of them might not be practical at a given time.

And in any case, I see no reason for your family to have to know anything about your sex life.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 35

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/23/2011 8:18:31 PM

whitedragonX

Posts: 75
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline

Oh my gosh all the hating lol I'm am a sheltered child, lol (Im srsly am thinking of moving out after I finish my last year of of community college Ill go to a university or something and live at dorm)

1. I have a job
2. I know what its like somewhat to live with a dominant female (my sister)

If I dont do what she says and get what she wants she will slap me around. Once when I was younger 13-14 she made wait on her and her friends at her birthday party.

Also if it was porn mags or some shit I honesty would not give a crap if my mom found them but this bondage stuff thats a little different

(in reply to hematitan)

Post #: 36

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/23/2011 8:24:04 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I look at the avatar and think it is Ron posting, but there is no asking for blow jobs and it does not compute.

Please help.

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Post #: 37

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/23/2011 8:25:12 PM

whitedragonX

Posts: 75
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

fr

for fuck's sake fella, you have a dipshit excuse for everything don't you?
listen the fuck up. grow the fuck up. clean your own fucking room and mummy won't have any reason to be in your shit.

you want a fucking mistress? well guess what buckwheat, she's more than fucking likely going to expect you to clean her whole fucking house so you may as well start practicing now.

you're worried mummy's going to find your toys? then do what was suggested, get a locking suitcase, or a little fucking footlocker and put a padlock on it. its not like you need 300 lbs of the shit, so hide it. i mean didn't you ever hide your fucking weed or playboys from her or anything?

christ's blood on toast boy, how the fuck did you get through high school without knowing this shit. its fucking elementary teenager shit we're talking about.

yawn lol no I dont smoke weed, I never had a magazine in my life its called a computer. I know how to hide my computer activities. As for a mistress, not only clean her house, do her laundry cook for her, go grocey shopping for her and other errands yes- yes- I know that. If im hoping that I can find more of GF than a mistress and have a vanilla kinky relationship :) I have asked numerous girls out all rejections :

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 38

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/23/2011 8:26:50 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Locking suitcase. Tell Mom it's to keep your sister out. If you have a car, then keep the stuff in the trunk again in a locked suitcase.

I have a 22 year old, a 19 year old and an 18 year old at home. I know they are sexually active. As long as they practice safe sex and pick sane partners to whom they behave with kindness, that's all that matters to me.

And again, I want them to step up to the plate and take initiative in cooking and cleaning. They'll do it if I tell them but rarely otherwise. Doing it without asking demonstrates an adult attitude.As long as they behave like children, I will treat them that way.

Oh and one of them has a dinner plate in their room and I want it found and returned. I don't want to have to crawl around on the floor searching for it.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 6/23/2011 8:28:13 PM >

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Post #: 39

RE: My activities- should I move out - 6/24/2011 3:40:49 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Dude, seriously. How is this an issue? You haven't even had a date.

You know what I think? I think you want to make us all wrong and have a bazillion excuses. I haven't heard a single, "Hey that's a good idea. Thanks." Reality? You don't want to listen. You don't want to change things. You want to whine.

And you wonder why your mom is cleaning your room. How many excuses do you give her?

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Post #: 40

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