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RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 9:09:23 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

How well they bake cookies...

Slaves tend to make the best cookies
Subs tend to make the best pastries.



And a switch is able to do both   ~grinz~


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 9:43:25 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

How well they bake cookies...

Slaves tend to make the best cookies
Subs tend to make the best pastries.



Everyone knows I make the best cookies.

"A sub is someone who won't do what I will and a slave is someone who will do what I won't" is how most people use the terms. Where the pejorative goes depends on the speaker.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 9:47:32 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

Is it the lack of limits? Is it in domestic servitude (i.e., a submissive is only submissive in the bedroom)?

I know these terms mean different things to different people.


There's a HUGE difference between "sub" and "slave" -- but it's not held in the PHYSICAL things such as limits, freedoms, tasks, protocols, and so forth.  The difference is in the MENTAL/EMOTIONAL aspects... not the physical.  The sub/slave thing has become homogenized by many for reasons of (i) insecurity, (ii) ignorance, or (iii) political correctness.  The difference between the two is apples and oranges... which does NOT mean one is better or worse than the other, just different -- e.g., the color blue is no better/worse than the color green... yet still, they are different.



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 9:51:52 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
The difference between the two is apples and oranges... which does NOT mean one is better or worse than the other, just different -- e.g., the color blue is no better/worse than the color green... yet still, they are different.




i can agree with that. =p
there's a difference in the headspace of a person who seeks out X rather than seeking Y, and visa versa. what those things are are what's more subjective. in my own world, there is a big difference between the motivation of what i call a submissive, and what i call a slave (note "what i call" it is not necessarily going to be what someone else calls it).
i've mentioned before a conversation with a friend where she related other subs saying "hell no!" to a question about whether or not they'd do something for their Doms even if it was scary or they didn't like it. she and i, on the other hand, responded with "well yeah, we've done that before."

there are different motivations that people have, and none of those motivations are better or worse. but i also don't really think it depends on the words/labels themselves. in my last relationship, he called me his "submissive" because he just didn't like the words Master/slave. but i was his, no question.


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 9:55:53 AM   
honybunz


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/24/2011
Status: offline 		wrong profile.




< Message edited by honybunz -- 6/27/2011 9:56:58 AM >

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 10:00:38 AM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		submissive: a person who renews the choice to submit every time an order is given to them.

slave: a person who makes a one time choice to submit, up-front, and there for it is pretty much expected for them to obey.

heres some articals that youll find interesting and will help you make your choice.

http://www.teramis.com/kink/subvslave.htm

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/629613/different_types_of_submission_in_bdsm.html *this one also has a definition of pet.

http://kimdebron.tripod.com/id33.html *this just supports the first link.

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/01/the-differences-between-bottom-masochist-submissive-and-slave/

there is a difference between a slave and a submissive, i would never consider myself a slave because i cant do everything someone wants me to do at all times of the day. but i will certainly push my bounds and try... but a slave will do much more then i will as a submissive.

in my words the difference is that a slave submits all the time and lets go of her safe word while i, as a sub, will hold onto my safe word. a slave can be objectifide much more then i can, (said with respect ladies) to say that there is no difference is... then why is there two types of us?

its a misused term, and its too bad that its misused so often people dont seem to respect how much these people put into a relationship for their Master.

_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to honybunz)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 10:00:48 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

i would never consider myself a slave because i cant do everything someone wants me to do at all times of the day. but i will certainly push my bounds and try... but a slave will do much more then i will as a submissive.



The difference is not held in whether one CAN do... it's WHY one will choose/try to.






< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 6/27/2011 10:02:33 AM >

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 10:12:44 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
i also don't really think it depends on the words/labels themselves. in my last relationship, he called me his "submissive" because he just didn't like the words Master/slave. but i was his, no question.

This, I think, is probably the ultimate underlying truth here.

Given that nobody can agree on what the words mean in general it's pointless to go chasing dictionary definitions on them. And, frankly, even if there WAS some nice, crisp, and mostly universally agreed to definition, what would that change? Carol is Carol. The fact that some people see her as my sub, some as my wife, some as my slave, and some as my property really changes nothing.

For the friend who's definitions I referenced above, Carol is a sub. I'm not offended by that since I don't think there's any inherent value to either label. In his mind, "Slave = a dominant personality who submits.". That's not Carol so the fact that he doesn't apply that label to her makes total sense. Nor does it change how Carol behaves. It's just some insight into how he views things. More recently, I've come to think of her as "my wife who obeys". But changing the label in my own head from slave to something else still didn't change any practical reality in our marriage -- it was simply a move away from the BDSM rule police.

In terms of what to write in a profile or generally how to represent yourself, my advice is go with whatever label strikes your fancy but be sure to back it up with a descriptive paragraph or two. I cannot even begin to say how many times I read a profile of someone who is self-identified "slave" and I still find myself asking, "Yeah, but what do you mean by that?" It is the descriptive paragraph(s) that matter, not the label.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 10:30:12 AM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

submissive: a person who renews the choice to submit every time an order is given to them.  except when they dont...

slave: a person who makes a one time choice to submit, up-front, and there for it is pretty much expected for them to obey.  Except when its not

heres some articals that youll find interesting and will help you make your choice.

http://www.teramis.com/kink/subvslave.htm

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/629613/different_types_of_submission_in_bdsm.html *this one also has a definition of pet.

http://kimdebron.tripod.com/id33.html *this just supports the first link.

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/01/the-differences-between-bottom-masochist-submissive-and-slave/

there is a difference between a slave and a submissive, i would never consider myself a slave because i cant do everything someone wants me to do at all times of the day. but i will certainly push my bounds and try... but a slave will do much more then i will as a submissive. Except when thats not expected

in my words the difference is that a slave submits all the time and lets go of her safe word while i, as a sub, will hold onto my safe word. Except when they do...a slave can be objectifide much more then i can,except when they cant.... (said with respect ladies) to say that there is no difference is... then why is there two types of us?

its a misused term, and its too bad that its misused so often people dont seem to respect how much these people put into a relationship for their Master.except when they dont...





_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 11:19:00 AM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

i would never consider myself a slave because i cant do everything someone wants me to do at all times of the day. but i will certainly push my bounds and try... but a slave will do much more then i will as a submissive.



The difference is not held in whether one CAN do... it's WHY one will choose/try to.







i agree, i think that they can love or love pleasing or a person so much they will do everything they can when i might love or want to but in the end be like no "safe word."

also i believe in link two or 4 there is a part in the article they talk about changing everything about themselves and can become molded.... i am not a slave... so i could never be molded from the core, i can change the little things and subs have slave tendencies but are -not- i repeat -not- a slave lol. the fact that im reading people say they are the same depending on the master is such an asinine perception.

_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 11:22:33 AM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

submissive: a person who renews the choice to submit every time an order is given to them.  except when they dont...

slave: a person who makes a one time choice to submit, up-front, and there for it is pretty much expected for them to obey.  Except when its not

heres some articals that youll find interesting and will help you make your choice.

http://www.teramis.com/kink/subvslave.htm

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/629613/different_types_of_submission_in_bdsm.html *this one also has a definition of pet.

http://kimdebron.tripod.com/id33.html *this just supports the first link.

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/01/the-differences-between-bottom-masochist-submissive-and-slave/

there is a difference between a slave and a submissive, i would never consider myself a slave because i cant do everything someone wants me to do at all times of the day. but i will certainly push my bounds and try... but a slave will do much more then i will as a submissive. Except when thats not expected

in my words the difference is that a slave submits all the time and lets go of her safe word while i, as a sub, will hold onto my safe word. Except when they do...a slave can be objectifide much more then i can,except when they cant.... (said with respect ladies) to say that there is no difference is... then why is there two types of us?

its a misused term, and its too bad that its misused so often people dont seem to respect how much these people put into a relationship for their Master.except when they dont...







um and that.. with no explanation makes no sense please define what you mean by (unless they do or dont) so i can give an explanation. sure everythings on a basis but the core elements remain the same... so... i just need to know what you mean lol...

_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 11:22:49 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

How well they bake cookies...

Slaves tend to make the best cookies
Subs tend to make the best pastries.



Everyone knows I make the best cookies.

"A sub is someone who won't do what I will and a slave is someone who will do what I won't" is how most people use the terms. Where the pejorative goes depends on the speaker.




Oh???????


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 11:29:34 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

How well they bake cookies...

Slaves tend to make the best cookies
Subs tend to make the best pastries.


hahahaha, I knew I wasn't a slave!

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 5:54:19 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		M calls and views me as his slave.............I don't.

I view myself as an *owned person*. I do whatever he expects.....even if it's under mild duress.

So we are a mish-mash of one CRAZY relationship but we are still together after all these years.(surely a Film Title?)

Either that, or everyone's too scared to even try to question or stand between us. I admit that we are insular enough to spend lots of time together, being *togethery*.

Is it the lack of limits? Is it in domestic servitude (i.e., a submissive is only submissive in the bedroom)?

No idea....... I don't slip into any of those...no limits, no servitude, no specific bedroom stuff. I probably fit *most annoying person a chap was ever was crazy enough to own*. I would understand, as he's the most annoying chap I've ever spent 10 yrs with.

Maybe one day, M will just flip off a post and give his view. Until then I'll keep posting,and I'll continue to put up with him reading *our* stuff and chuckling.

agirl








_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 6:30:25 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

submissive: a person who renews the choice to submit every time an order is given to them.

Nope. I'm a submissive. I've chosen to submit til death do us part.

I love blanket statements.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 7:06:15 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

submissive: a person who renews the choice to submit every time an order is given to them.  except when they dont...

slave: a person who makes a one time choice to submit, up-front, and there for it is pretty much expected for them to obey.  Except when its not

heres some articals that youll find interesting and will help you make your choice.

http://www.teramis.com/kink/subvslave.htm

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/629613/different_types_of_submission_in_bdsm.html *this one also has a definition of pet.

http://kimdebron.tripod.com/id33.html *this just supports the first link.

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/01/the-differences-between-bottom-masochist-submissive-and-slave/

there is a difference between a slave and a submissive, i would never consider myself a slave because i cant do everything someone wants me to do at all times of the day. but i will certainly push my bounds and try... but a slave will do much more then i will as a submissive. Except when thats not expected

in my words the difference is that a slave submits all the time and lets go of her safe word while i, as a sub, will hold onto my safe word. Except when they do...a slave can be objectifide much more then i can,except when they cant.... (said with respect ladies) to say that there is no difference is... then why is there two types of us?

its a misused term, and its too bad that its misused so often people dont seem to respect how much these people put into a relationship for their Master.except when they dont...







um and that.. with no explanation makes no sense please define what you mean by (unless they do or dont) so i can give an explanation. sure everythings on a basis but the core elements remain the same... so... i just need to know what you mean lol...


I mean exactly what I said. Your making a LOT of blanket statements, and Im correcting those blanket statements.

The first, is except when they dont, my submission isnt contingent on the orders given, I give it because i trust the person I give it too, and i dont make a choice each and every time im ordered i make one choice.

The second not every slave is expected to obey or even does, i know several slaves who would throw your theorys for a loop.

The Third not every slave is expected to take on the world, when i was a slave i had a lot less responsibility wise then i ever have as a submissive.

Most slaves I know have a safeword, its not magically taken away because oh my gosh they are slaves...

And magically their limitations dont change, Im not one to be objectified no matter WHAT my label is.

and finally it takes a lot of work to be in a relationship regardless of wither your D/s M/s Vanilla T/b.... To say that M/s puts in more then anyone else is foolish and in general laughable.

The bottom line is There is no set this is a slave, this is a sub, this is a bottom. Why? because the perfect slave to Dom one is Dom twos bottom... and the perfect slave to dom two is fake to both dom one and three...


_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 9:03:58 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		FR

Slaves are fatter.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/27/2011 10:31:16 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		subs, it seems, especially males, arent quite as smart

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/28/2011 5:08:00 AM   
OwnedFemaleFlesh


Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline 		The difference between 'submissive' and 'slave' is that one has 10 letters and one has 5. Everything else is just opinion. The difference between a submissive and a slave is whatever you think it is.

owned xxx

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a s... - 6/28/2011 7:27:09 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi
the fact that im reading people say they are the same depending on the master is such an asinine perception.

Really? OK, let's take two other words....

Fizgabba and Wadunka

Now, would you say that you are more of a fizgabba or a wadunka. Based upon your photo, I'd have to go with wadunka myself but you seem to have elements of fizgabberry in your postings. Maybe your switch?

Any conversation about sub/slave is EXACTLY that conversation unless it happens in a small community where there is, in fact, a commonly shared and accepted definition of sub and slave. But in the larger community (and the internet counts as "larger") those words are undefined -- just like fizgabba and wadunka.

And then, of course, there are folks like agirl who are both a slave and an "owned person" and that's within a community of just 2.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi
its a misused term, and its too bad that its misused so often people dont seem to respect how much these people put into a relationship for their Master.

Look, I at least used to think of Carol as my slave. Trust me on this. I don't need or want you or anyone else protecting the sanctity of her slavery. I myself very definitely do NOT see it that way. You are attaching value to the role and I do not. I attach value to the performance in the role... whatever role. Being excellent at anything is hard. Being mediocre at it is easy. If you want to respect her efforts then do so... but that has nothing to do with her role. The role itself has zero value outside of context. Until you know what the other person in the relationship needs/wants, then who can say whether vanilla or sub or slave or something else is going to be "the best"?

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 6/28/2011 7:46:23 AM >

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 40
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