RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life?

RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:29:34 PM)
I'm thinkin' the OP wishes he never started this thread now, huh?!! [sm=rofl.gif]lol

RapierFugue -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:30:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze So basically if I want to put a competitor out of business, I could just make sure a bunch of his employees sue him, like if I had a family member who happens to be a lawyer and is not busy, I could mess up your business rather cheaply, then take over that business and the increased profit will easily pay for the legal costs... Fortunately, most of my competitors aren't as ruthless as you obviously are. [:D] Not sure about the US, but in the UK it would constitute a criminal conspiracy, on several fronts. Lots of porridge all round.

RapierFugue -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:32:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA I'm thinkin' the OP wishes he never started this thread now, huh?!! [sm=rofl.gif]lol Well he almost* certainly isn't wanking over it as he originally intended, that's for sure ;) *I'm conscious of the fact some people can get excited by almost anything

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:36:07 PM)
I don't really see anything the OP did as wrong, depending on the work environment. I worked in a Refinery for 14 years and in that time I had lots of pranks played on me. It was all in good fun. In some work areas, the work is so stressful that the lighthearted play and camaraderie must makes the long hours pass a lot more pleasantly. I assume the OP was talking about giving his co-worker/trainer what I now call a Gibbs. You know, that affectionate smack upside the back of the head. While it probably isn't a good idea in today's litigious climate, no harm, no foul in my opinion. To answer the OP, I don't mess with the vanilla - but I"m not sure that I even know any. Seems to me, everyone else is freakier than I, these days.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:41:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze So basically if I want to put a competitor out of business, I could just make sure a bunch of his employees sue him, like if I had a family member who happens to be a lawyer and is not busy, I could mess up your business rather cheaply, then take over that business and the increased profit will easily pay for the legal costs... Fortunately, most of my competitors aren't as ruthless as you obviously are. [:D] (But in truth, it would be harder for you to do that than you think. My employees want to keep their jobs. So suing me is not a good idea. Unless you paid them their lost wages and more, they wouldn't go along with your devious plan). The fact that I recognize the potential for something doesn't mean that I would be as ruthless, it's just that it automatically crossed my mind that the legal situation would leave somebody open for that kind of approach and if I can think about it, I am pretty sure others have thought about it too. For example how about if somebody would promise them jobs with higher wages for example? Or you take on temporary staff as quite a few businesses do, then it would be fairly easy to manufacture... To be honest when I worked in the US, I was very amazed about what is acceptable and what not, like a male (and VERY gay) colleague said he couldn't bring me a banana as a snack (one I requested as he was leaving the office and I couldn't as I was waiting for a call) as it could be a bit risky and without me complaining, the fact that somebody else could see and complain could cause problems made me blink. The funny thing was at the time I was working for a rather well known fashion magazine, about 90% of the guys on staff batted for the other team and everybody knew that a fair bit of sexual harassment was going on with models on the side of photographers or clients, yet the banana, oh no....

LadyPact -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:45:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I assume the OP was talking about giving his co-worker/trainer what I now call a Gibbs. You know, that affectionate smack upside the back of the head. While it probably isn't a good idea in today's litigious climate, no harm, no foul in my opinion. Happen to catch that nice NCIS episode where they brought in the trainer for the mandatory class about how such actions are not ok in the workplace?

Icarys -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:54:04 PM)
quote: Happen to catch that nice NCIS episode where they brought in the trainer for the mandatory class about how such actions are not ok in the workplace? Well there you have it..If it's on NCIS... It's okay in my workplace and if something arises from it I'll pay the consequences. I'm sure not gonna sit around and applaud as the sphincter of America clenches ever tighter till it pinches off all the fun in life. Pardon my shitty wordage but it seemed fitting with all of this legal talk..Which I might add seems REALLY fucking ironic considering where we are saying it..I mean verging on idiotic.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:54:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I assume the OP was talking about giving his co-worker/trainer what I now call a Gibbs. You know, that affectionate smack upside the back of the head. While it probably isn't a good idea in today's litigious climate, no harm, no foul in my opinion. Happen to catch that nice NCIS episode where they brought in the trainer for the mandatory class about how such actions are not ok in the workplace? Yes, I did. It was very amusing. I know that it probably isn't acceptable in a majority of work places - but I have worked in environments where the policies weren't so strict. I dunno. Working 84 hours a week with these guys, for months on end without a day off - they were more like family than co-workers. I guess I just have a different perspective, in general, about this.

RapierFugue -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:56:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys Pardon my shitty wordage but it seemed fitting with all of this legal talk..Which I might add seems REALLY fucking ironic considering where we are saying it..I mean verging on idiotic. Breaking of one law is not breaking of all laws. Just because I do 60 in a 55 zone doesn't mean I'm sanguine about murdering someone. An incredibly simple concept that a 5 year-old could probably grasp, and yet it seems to be eluding many folk ...

BamaD -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 3:58:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I assume the OP was talking about giving his co-worker/trainer what I now call a Gibbs. You know, that affectionate smack upside the back of the head. While it probably isn't a good idea in today's litigious climate, no harm, no foul in my opinion. Happen to catch that nice NCIS episode where they brought in the trainer for the mandatory class about how such actions are not ok in the workplace? Yes with Jimmy asking about touching naked dead people.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 4:01:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BamaD quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I assume the OP was talking about giving his co-worker/trainer what I now call a Gibbs. You know, that affectionate smack upside the back of the head. While it probably isn't a good idea in today's litigious climate, no harm, no foul in my opinion. Happen to catch that nice NCIS episode where they brought in the trainer for the mandatory class about how such actions are not ok in the workplace? Yes with Jimmy asking about touching naked dead people. [:D] That was hilarious!

LadyConstanze -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 4:11:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I don't really see anything the OP did as wrong, depending on the work environment. I worked in a Refinery for 14 years and in that time I had lots of pranks played on me. It was all in good fun. In some work areas, the work is so stressful that the lighthearted play and camaraderie must makes the long hours pass a lot more pleasantly. I assume the OP was talking about giving his co-worker/trainer what I now call a Gibbs. You know, that affectionate smack upside the back of the head. While it probably isn't a good idea in today's litigious climate, no harm, no foul in my opinion. To answer the OP, I don't mess with the vanilla - but I"m not sure that I even know any. Seems to me, everyone else is freakier than I, these days. A trainer smacking me - no matter if it is called a Gibbs or not - is simply not acceptable, no matter where I work, I mean if it is OK, where do you draw the line? If the other guy falls over or is in hospital? Where does the foul start? If that is OK, is a playful grab of a male coworker on a female colleagues chest also OK and no harm? Or does she needs to be raped? The problem is that if you let that stuff slide, it sets a certain tone in the work environment and if there is a law suit it kicks up so much shit and the company itself suffers, apart from the fact that people who feel bullied (and most people would given the treatment the OP described) will simply not be as productive and good, plus bullies usually don't bully people because they are superior but to detract from the fact that they are below par. I mean we step in when we notice that behavior in schools to stop bullying from happening, so how come in the work place it should be acceptable? The "suck up and just learn to take it" isn't doing anybody any good, nor is it funny if somebody gets bullied. While I agree that everything gets too litigious, in that respect I disagree, without laws outlawing harassment and bullying we possibly would have work conditions similar to China, where it's just a regular occurrence that female workers get raped and people there possibly will argue that as long as they don't get pregnant there is no harm and no foul. It's an extreme example but bullying is pretty shitty and not everybody dares to stand up for him or herself.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 4:21:38 PM)
Hmm, everything you say makes sense. I'm not going to disagree with you. However, personally, I'd rather work in an environment where people were at ease enough to joke around and hell even fuck up every now and then, than in other work environments where everyone was afraid to do shit - because of the possible repercussions. Been there, done both and the latter work environment sucked ass. In the former, it wasn't hard to stick up for oneself. On a couple occasions someone crossed over into unacceptable areas. For example, one married man hit on me when I was at work. I was pregnant (ohhh so very pregnant) and at first I didn't realize he was even hitting on me until he said, "Let's put it this way...YOU'LL never be safer." Meaning he couldn't get me pregnant. I just laughed, shook my head and said pleasantly, "yes, but your JOB has been safer." He got the message. That's all that needed to be said. No drama, no lawsuits, no fall of civilization. Granted, my words - as lighthearted and playful as they were, had merit because well - there ARE laws and policies against sexual harassment. So, again, I'm not going to dispute the need for laws and policies to protect individuals from harassment and bullying. I just think that - in many cases - they don't have to evolve into a big deal. Especially when you don't start with a work environment that is so uptight, you shit diamonds when you get home.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 4:27:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys I'm sure not gonna sit around and applaud as the sphincter of America clenches ever tighter till it pinches off all the fun in life. I can definitely appreciate that perspective. There is no doubt that America has become far too PC. It's actually rather sickening how sensitive we've become. No matter what you do, it seems like somebody is going to get offended. But that's the world that we live in. (Shrugs)

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 4:37:33 PM)
quote: Its like when someone says "I don't mean to be brutally honest", or "I am not trying to be mean" or "I am not trying to insult you" any other such disclaimer, they really DO intend it, otherwise they wouldn't put that disclaimer out there to start with i don't suppose any of you would believe me for a instant if i started saying "i don't mean to be fucking rude"?

LadyConstanze -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 4:47:01 PM)
Hey, you can work in an environment where it's not uptight and not PC and I understand what you are saying and how you handled yourself, but the same time, I recall being that 18 year old doing a temp job in the summer break roughly 20 years ago and being sexually harassed by the boss, I was terrified, my first "real" job and I didn't want to mess up, nowhere to turn to, throwing up in the morning, now I would get the heels out sooner and possibly wear brass knuckles, but also the laws have changed in the past 2 decades. You and I are mouthy broads and now can look after ourselves, but we weren't always, some people just aren't able to defend themselves with words, they shouldn't have to as they are doing their jobs, they didn't sign up for sparring and some are not equipped to do so, be it age, personality, education, whatever, they should be allowed o do their jobs without being bullied, I don't care if they wear suits or boiler suits while they are doing their work. I think a lot of things have gone too far as far as lawsuits are concerned, but apparently not if you think that some bully can still make another guy pay for his coffee and smack him around, for no other reason but the fact that the guy is terrified because he's new. Look, I am not worried too much about being raped, a few decades of martial arts and 2 big Dobes as companions make me feel pretty relaxed about going almost everywhere at any time of the day or night, yet I am sensitive to the fact that other women are more vulnerable, so I don't propose to relax rape laws. The amount of joking around and horseplay going on at work, I think you would reconsider your views, it still doesn't mean that people get smacked and/or bullied, there is a line and when the OP smacked the other guy he went way over board and crossed the line before. He did that to a guy who was working under him....

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 4:48:42 PM)
quote: No matter what you do, it seems like somebody is going to get offended. so stop trying. offend every last one of the fuckers. its the only fair thing to do, after all, one can't play fucking favorites

LadyConstanze -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 4:55:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys I'm sure not gonna sit around and applaud as the sphincter of America clenches ever tighter till it pinches off all the fun in life. I can definitely appreciate that perspective. There is no doubt that America has become far too PC. It's actually rather sickening how sensitive we've become. No matter what you do, it seems like somebody is going to get offended. But that's the world that we live in. (Shrugs) Leave being PC aside, I take you for the guy who would still step in when he'd see bullying behaviour like described by the OP, even if you wouldn't be worried about an employee suing you and you losing money due to having to show up in court. Personally I find the treatment of women in some societies very offensive, other guys see those oppressed women as the ideal women as they will do as they are told, mileage may vary but I would find a society where males are oppressed just as offensive, I guess that's the pesky idea about consent that I harbour, as long as people give consent, I'm OK with it, the absence of it - for me personally - is abuse.

Iamsemisweet -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 4:56:09 PM)
Yep, that is the joy of litigation. As long as the employee's cases rises about the frivolous, you probably could employ this strategy. On the other hand, if one of the employees came clean about their motivation, that could lead to a cause of action against you and potential sanctions against the attorney involved. Still, I have seen litigation as a weapon against business competitors more times than I can count. On the other hand, I read about a case in England where a woman is suing one of the tabloids. She would like to drop her suit, but if she does, she will have to pay the other side's fees, which she can't afford to do. So, a system that discourages settlement also doesn't work. And yes, people can go on about how their work place is different, and certain types of behavior are acceptable. That is, until you need to lay off people, either for cause or economics. Then, all of a sudden, they have been sexually or otherwise harassed and they are suing you. Like it or not, it is better to run a pretty controlled workplace, with policies prohibiting certain types of behavior. It just isn't worth the risk, but, I hate getting sued and no one but lawyers make money in litigation. Like the saying goes, "an ounce of prevention . . . " quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet Lady Constanze, In the US, unless there is a contractual provision or a statute to the contrary (and there aren't many), each side pays their own attorney fees. The problem goes beyond this though. The other cost is in lost productivity. Each time I've gone to court, it's cost me at least one complete day of work. Moreover, I've usually had to drag an employee or two in to serve as witnesses, so they also lost a complete day of work. If my employees are testifying instead of working, that costs me money. Pulling 2 employees out of work and bringing them to court to testify is going to cost me a minimum of $1,500 in lost revenue. So even if I win, I still lose. But since those are costs you encounter, it doesn't make sense that the other party doesn't have to pay for it. So basically if I want to put a competitor out of business, I could just make sure a bunch of his employees sue him, like if I had a family member who happens to be a lawyer and is not busy, I could mess up your business rather cheaply, then take over that business and the increased profit will easily pay for the legal costs...

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/29/2011 5:02:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze ... The amount of joking around and horseplay going on at work, I think you would reconsider your views, it still doesn't mean that people get smacked and/or bullied, there is a line and when the OP smacked the other guy he went way over board and crossed the line before. He did that to a guy who was working under him.... I don't know. I asked one Section Supervisor what he needed first thing in the morning and he said, "Kisses every day are nice." So, I bought a bag of Hershey Kisses and left a few on his desk first thing every morning. This is the ball-buster that I was warned about, and told he 'ruins the careers of every assistant he has.' He was the one who actually made my career out there. Another supervisor, I used to make him bend forward and let me pet his hair before I'd "let" him go to work, or if he asked me to do something, before I'd comply. He had really soft hair! In that instance, I was the harrasser, but meh - he didn't seem to mind. I miss both those guys. It is possible to enjoy work, have fun, and stand up for yourselves without taking it to extremes. From my experience and perspective, I don't see the OP as being a bully. Now, I'm assuming the guy wasn't wearing a C-collar or experiencing a concussion or even a headache after the Gibbs he was given. It isn't like he smacked the guy on the ass or anything. That's my feelings on the matter. I understand your perspective, respect it, but in this instance,I think we are just going to have to agree to disagree on this one [:)]

Page: << < prev 6 7 [8] 9 10 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

7.799911E-02