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Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:05:19 PM   
FirmhandKY


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Status: offline 		75% Of Women Wouldn't Marry An Unemployed Guy
Wed Jul 6, 2011 11:56am PDT

According to a recent YourTango and ForbesWoman survey, 75% of women wouldn't marry someone who was unemployed, ... Ironically, 91 percent of single women say they would marry for love over money.

Is this a conundrum or easily explainable?

Discuss.

Firm

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:07:11 PM   
youcanchoose


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Status: offline 		91% of women are lying to themselves about what they are willing to do to get ahead?

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:10:49 PM   
FirmhandKY


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Status: offline 		Some of the comments in the original article are pretty funny.

Firm


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:11:38 PM   
juliaoceania


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Status: offline 		These two are not mutually exclusive. Being in a stable job says something about a person's character. It says they are responsible, it says they are adult, and it speaks to their trustworthiness. On the other hand being unemployed could mean a person is not stable in their life.

I would not be interested in someone that was not employed, or retired. I also would not marry someone just because they had money if I did not love them.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:14:27 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


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Status: offline 		I think that the women who wouldn't marry an unemployed man are probably being practical. And when the 91% say that they'd marry for love over money, I think they are probably thinking about the guy next door who has a steady job & whom they love over the guy with millions who they don't love at all.

I'm one of those for whom money means little. Not a very practical way to live one's life. Since I decided in 1978 that I wouldn't marry again, this doesn't really apply to me. And I don't have enough money of my own to support another human. But I would seriously think about living with someone who had little financially if I loved them.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:15:15 PM   
TreasureKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

These two are not mutually exclusive. Being in a stable job says something about a person's character. It says they are responsible, it says they are adult, and it speaks to their trustworthiness. On the other hand being unemployed could mean a person is not stable in their life.

I would not be interested in someone that was not employed, or retired. I also would not marry someone just because they had money if I did not love them.


Exactly.

Love is way more important than money when choosing a partner, but that doesn't mean money is irrelevant. 

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:16:00 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


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Status: offline 		Interesting answer, Julia. May I ask you why you wouldn't be interested in someone who was retired?

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:20:43 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		If you are unemployed, you have more to worry about than setting up a household. And unemployed why? Because of downsizing, or from being a layabout?

I am the Designated Layabout in my relationships!!

At my age, I have to have "my own money", I appreciate (and have) the finer things, but I wouldn't marry for money. Someone with a pension, money saved, health insurance, all good things.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:23:26 PM   
Anaxagoras


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY
Is this a conundrum or easily explainable?

Its easily explainable but it just isn't PC! I've heard of the occasional survey with similar results. Generally women seem to look to status more then men which sounds cold but the same time I can understand women being put off by unemployed guys who are still living with their mothers.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:24:44 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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Status: offline 		for me, it would depend on the reason, especially right now when people are having a lot of difficulty finding/ keeping jobs. a lot of really great people are unemployed and it doesn't say anything about their character; they just got caught in the downsizing nets. if someone's unemployed and sits on his duff and does nothing about it, that's different from someone who finds other ways to make ends meet while still trying to find a regular job.

i don't look at unemployment as a dealbreaker unless the reasons behind it are totally within the person's control and that person chooses to do nothing about it. unemployment, in and of itself, doesn't say anything about a person's character at all.


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:32:00 PM   
imperatrixx


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Status: offline 		realistic.

i think you cut off a very important part of that article. this is what was in place of your ellipses:

75% of women wouldn't marry someone who was unemployed, and 65% wouldn't tie the knot if they themselves were jobless.

the 10% disparity takes into account that some women are actually interested in being stay at home mothers, or might even already have children that they stay home to parent, and you can draw the conclusion that most women simply don't want to make that sort of commitment in the midst of financial uncertainty, not that they are gold diggers.

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:33:24 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

Interesting answer, Julia. May I ask you why you wouldn't be interested in someone who was retired?



Reread, I didn't say that at all

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:37:44 PM   
LadyPact


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Status: offline 		Did anybody read the link within the article?  "Four good reasons to date someone unemployed."  What a crock!  Sorry, but people get depressed when they aren't employed because it takes away part of the essence of who they are.  They aren't writing novels or planning romantic dates.  They are feeling the effects of losing their jobs and/or job hunting and working on keeping their self-esteem.

I'm married, but if I were single, I would not be interested in someone who was unemployed.  There's more negative than positive attached to it.


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:40:51 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Did anybody read the link within the article?  "Four good reasons to date someone unemployed."  What a crock!  Sorry, but people get depressed when they aren't employed because it takes away part of the essence of who they are.  They aren't writing novels or planning romantic dates.  They are feeling the effects of losing their jobs and/or job hunting and working on keeping their self-esteem.

I'm married, but if I were single, I would not be interested in someone who was unemployed.  There's more negative than positive attached to it.




The last person I was involved with was disabled through a year of our relationship... it was part of what broke us up because he was depressed and anxious about his life. I did not dump him for it, I loved him regardless. I would never have hooked up with him in that state, though

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:40:59 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		Though if they were unemployed, I could lay some cash on them to help me in the office!

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:46:03 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Though if they were unemployed, I could lay some cash on them to help me in the office!



Would they still be unemployed if they were working for you?

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:50:08 PM   
TreasureKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

Interesting answer, Julia. May I ask you why you wouldn't be interested in someone who was retired?


Reread, I didn't say that at all


I'm sorry, Julia... I got the same thing when I read this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would not be interested in someone that was not employed, or retired.


What did you mean?


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:50:36 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

75% Of Women Wouldn't Marry An Unemployed Guy
Wed Jul 6, 2011 11:56am PDT

According to a recent YourTango and ForbesWoman survey, 75% of women wouldn't marry someone who was unemployed, ... Ironically, 91 percent of single women say they would marry for love over money.

Is this a conundrum or easily explainable?

Discuss.

Firm

Its easily explainable, for me at least. If a guy doesnt want a gold digger and he wants to be loved for who he is then it is no different for me either. Actually, I am an anti-gold digger, I refuse to be bought and any guy that tries that, well, he politely gets shown the door, he would be someone I could not trust (to not trade me in next year).
I just want a guy that can pay his own bills and I will take care of my bills and we can live happily ever after fucking our brains out... simple, yes?

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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:51:48 PM   
Arpig


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quote:

What a crock! Sorry, but people get depressed when they aren't employed because it takes away part of the essence of who they are.   They aren't writing novels or planning romantic dates.  They are feeling the effects of losing their jobs and/or job hunting and working on keeping their self-esteem.
Not necessarily so LadyP. I'm unemployed more or less by choice. I have my disability pension which allows me to scrape by and I am content to live on that until I find a job I really want. If I never find that job, that will suit me just fine as well. I am loving the freedom and the ability to spend my day doing what I want. I am happier, healthier and far less depressed than I was when working, and my self-esteem is just fine.

I never defined myself by my job, nor did I ever measure my success by my paycheck or my possessions. Granted my attitude is a minority one, but its not an infinitesimal minority.


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RE: Women: Realistic or Gold Diggers? - 7/8/2011 7:53:26 PM   
Arpig


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quote:

What did you mean?
I read it as she wouldn't get involved with somebody who was not either employed or retired. 

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