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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 3:28:17 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

I didn't used to, but I now have a few regular posters on hide, mostly for the negativity of their posts. Some seem to think that if they say a bunch of negative snarky shit & put "lol" all over the post, nobody will understand that they're a snarky bitch.



You notice that too? I would prefer upfront opinionated posts with fucks thrown in for good measure over the ones that act like total assholes but think putting a smiley emoticon on every sentence detracts from their asshole-ism.

It doesn't. It simply makes them passive aggressive assholes.

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 3:36:27 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster
Interestly the "influential" ones seem to be ducking this thread....I wonder why?

Were you waiting for Me?  LOL.

Kidding aside, I'll answer the OP.
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

A thread or two I read here lately have me thinking. So many times, someone posts something, and the reactions that come are "You are searching for wank material", "Why would you post such stuff for us to see?", "We are not in your dynamic", "Use the search feature", etc so on and so forth.

So, is it the subject that gets folks riled, or is it the fact they do not know, or do not like, the person doing the posting?

Every once in a while, a very small percent of the time, it does have to do with the person posting.  The reception that some folks get is because of the way that they approach these boards.  Doesn't happen often, but it's obvious when it does.

Yes, it's a discussion board, but the perpetual 101 class atmosphere gets old at times.  Nothing  a good read of "The Loving Dominant" couldn't cure.  I understand that things have changed and most folks are more likely to just take the easy way out of asking things here rather than doing their own research, but it still comes across as lazy. 

Yesterday, I went to a munch and finally caught somebody in My new area who I've been having bad timing about meeting.  My batteries were completely recharged to sit and talk with somebody who got their start in this whole thing like I did.  Talked about how things were back in the day when, if you really wanted this thing, you had to work for it.  You answered ads in some rag somewhere, read books, made the effort to meet the people you wanted to learn from, people called you on the phone to tell you when the next munch was going to be, etc, etc. 

(Yeah, we walked uphill, in the snow, both ways just for the opportunity to go to school, and we were grateful.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.)

Point being, the lack of initiative on these boards sucks at times.  Those of us who have been around a while can't compress everything we've been doing for years into some kind of Reader's Digest version of kink.  Each one teach one only goes so far and giving somebody a fish every day doesn't teach them how to feed themselves.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 3:37:49 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub


quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

Ok, now I feel really badly, thanks a lot!!! Here I thought I was one of the influential ones. *runs from room sobbing*


hahahaha, all skeery bitches are influential aint they?


I iz very skerry. ok, the mad face isnt working.

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 7/10/2011 3:38:40 PM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 3:46:55 PM   
DavidLee44UK


Posts: 436
Joined: 5/13/2011
Status: offline 		LP

so why when i made my 1st introduction post was it attacked

my second when i said i was active in the london scene somone jumped in and said because I didnt know someone i must been fake

my approach was fine

its all well and good to say things

but had pages and pages bout me being fake

NO ONE said anything about not calling me fake

why cause the cliq

im a nice guy but wasn't given a chance

then when i was banned first time the people who did it made a post and gloated no one said anything

its all very well saying these things but actions come in to play

my 3rd post was asked why i couldnt be clearer so i posted i had dyspraxia that was attacked again no one said ANYTHING

i found that very disturbing im trying to be open and honest

yet nothing and all the while i mention that these posters hide themselves and also hide profile NOTHING

lol so in the end i gave up and said if people want drama theyll get it



< Message edited by DavidLee44UK -- 7/10/2011 3:48:52 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 3:50:59 PM   
DavidLee44UK


Posts: 436
Joined: 5/13/2011
Status: offline 		nearly forgot made a thread other day was derailed after my first post

again no one said anything


(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 3:52:27 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster
Interestly the "influential" ones seem to be ducking this thread....I wonder why?

Were you waiting for Me?  LOL.

Kidding aside, I'll answer the OP.
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

A thread or two I read here lately have me thinking. So many times, someone posts something, and the reactions that come are "You are searching for wank material", "Why would you post such stuff for us to see?", "We are not in your dynamic", "Use the search feature", etc so on and so forth.

So, is it the subject that gets folks riled, or is it the fact they do not know, or do not like, the person doing the posting?

Every once in a while, a very small percent of the time, it does have to do with the person posting.  The reception that some folks get is because of the way that they approach these boards.  Doesn't happen often, but it's obvious when it does.

Yes, it's a discussion board, but the perpetual 101 class atmosphere gets old at times.  Nothing  a good read of "The Loving Dominant" couldn't cure.  I understand that things have changed and most folks are more likely to just take the easy way out of asking things here rather than doing their own research, but it still comes across as lazy. 

Yesterday, I went to a munch and finally caught somebody in My new area who I've been having bad timing about meeting.  My batteries were completely recharged to sit and talk with somebody who got their start in this whole thing like I did.  Talked about how things were back in the day when, if you really wanted this thing, you had to work for it.  You answered ads in some rag somewhere, read books, made the effort to meet the people you wanted to learn from, people called you on the phone to tell you when the next munch was going to be, etc, etc. 

(Yeah, we walked uphill, in the snow, both ways just for the opportunity to go to school, and we were grateful.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.)

Point being, the lack of initiative on these boards sucks at times.  Those of us who have been around a while can't compress everything we've been doing for years into some kind of Reader's Digest version of kink.  Each one teach one only goes so far and giving somebody a fish every day doesn't teach them how to feed themselves.





These days, though, this IS how it's done. I found CollarMe through talking with someone who said "Hey - you seem to be into this - why don't you try CollarMe?" I had no idea at the time that I would eventually be in a D/s relationship - I was just exploring things. So how would I, as a person brand new to the world of BDSM, know that I have to "work for it"? I, as a person brand new, wouldn't even know what questions to ask. Thank goodness for the Internet. I don't really know where I would be in some aspects if I hadn't stumbled across this site, the submissive wife, and taken in hand. All opened doors for my mind before I even knew there were doors to be opened.

I don't find the questions to be a lack of initiative but rather, an abundance of unknowns. Do I roll my eyes when I see "W/we" and "U/us" type of writing? Yes. Did I do that when I first got here? Yes. (Cringe.) Nobody is born knowing they should go to a munch to meet people. And...I do think that people may genuinely feel that their question of "How can I be a good Master?" or "What types of punishment are best?" are good and honest questions because they really, simply don't know.

That being said, I don't consider it my job to educate them. Sometimes I reply, often I don't. But I try not to kick them around for it.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 3:58:18 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		The types of OP's that bring out my best snarkiness are the ones that go something like, "Oh woe is me, I've done this stupid thing yet again and am looking for advice and wisdom as well as boatloads of coddling and sympathy knowing full well that after I get it all, it's going to blow right over my head and I'm going to go right back and do the same stupid thing over and over again."

I would do the same for someone who made the same statements in real life.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to DavidLee44UK)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:00:16 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


Every once in a while, a very small percent of the time, it does have to do with the person posting.  The reception that some folks get is because of the way that they approach these boards.  Doesn't happen often, but it's obvious when it does.

Yes, it's a discussion board, but the perpetual 101 class atmosphere gets old at times.  Nothing  a good read of "The Loving Dominant" couldn't cure.  I understand that things have changed and most folks are more likely to just take the easy way out of asking things here rather than doing their own research, but it still comes across as lazy. 

Yesterday, I went to a munch and finally caught somebody in My new area who I've been having bad timing about meeting.  My batteries were completely recharged to sit and talk with somebody who got their start in this whole thing like I did.  Talked about how things were back in the day when, if you really wanted this thing, you had to work for it.  You answered ads in some rag somewhere, read books, made the effort to meet the people you wanted to learn from, people called you on the phone to tell you when the next munch was going to be, etc, etc. 

(Yeah, we walked uphill, in the snow, both ways just for the opportunity to go to school, and we were grateful.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.)

Point being, the lack of initiative on these boards sucks at times.  Those of us who have been around a while can't compress everything we've been doing for years into some kind of Reader's Digest version of kink.  Each one teach one only goes so far and giving somebody a fish every day doesn't teach them how to feed themselves.





Do you think that part of it may be, for lack of a better word, the "level" of BDSM that different posters are?

I mean I get that some folks are just assholes, and yes some come looking for a fight. Some are, IMHO, handicapped in different ways, either socially or physically or mentally, so that they do not even get it why they are getting the reactions that they get. Hell, a few on here probably feel that I am in that category. The ones I perceive as having some type of "handicap", I feel sorry for, and just pray they will get ignored and go away honestly.

But back to the "levels" of BDSM, I totally get that you were thrilled to meet someone who had a journey kind of like your own, and I can imagine that yall had some greats stories and thoughts to exchange, just as you do on here. I enjoy reading a lot of your posts, not because of your experiences in leather, but because I think you are a smart chickie.

For me, I have no desires to be involved in a community. I want a relationship with a man, one who is the kind of man I can hand over much authority to and know my trust is not misplaced. I think that could make my posts seem irrelevant to you (not saying that they do), but I can imagine that you read many of the questions on here, and like you say, think it is folks being lazy.

I see it as not being lazy, but as being totally at a loss as to how one goes about finding what they seek, when they do not want to scene and play casually. Folks with totally different goals and totally different ideas about what is successful, when doing this thing that we do, even though the thing that we have in common is something we see totally differently.

If any of that makes sense, you are smarter than I even gave you credit for-lol.


_____________________________

yep

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:08:52 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster
Interestly the "influential" ones seem to be ducking this thread....I wonder why?

Were you waiting for Me?  LOL.

Kidding aside, I'll answer the OP.
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

A thread or two I read here lately have me thinking. So many times, someone posts something, and the reactions that come are "You are searching for wank material", "Why would you post such stuff for us to see?", "We are not in your dynamic", "Use the search feature", etc so on and so forth.

So, is it the subject that gets folks riled, or is it the fact they do not know, or do not like, the person doing the posting?

Every once in a while, a very small percent of the time, it does have to do with the person posting.  The reception that some folks get is because of the way that they approach these boards.  Doesn't happen often, but it's obvious when it does.


Yes, it's a discussion board, but the perpetual 101 class atmosphere gets old at times.  Nothing  a good read of "The Loving Dominant" couldn't cure.  I understand that things have changed and most folks are more likely to just take the easy way out of asking things here rather than doing their own research, but it still comes across as lazy. 



Point being, the lack of initiative on these boards sucks at times.  Those of us who have been around a while can't compress everything we've been doing for years into some kind of Reader's Digest version of kink.  Each one teach one only goes so far and giving somebody a fish every day doesn't teach them how to feed themselves.




I understand where you are coming from and the internet can be a curse as well as a godsend.My partner is a teacher and fights a constant battle against people who just copy and paste answers from the net instead of reading,researching and learning. But buying books and attending munches costs money that lots of people don't have so why shouldn't they take the "easy" way out and ask questions here? Sure if their attutude is wrong they should be told( I know about that!) but a daft question is only that to those in the know,not to a newbie. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to.
Also as a newbie this sort of thing can be very scary so the ability to ask questions and learn anonymously is brilliant for some.
Lastly the same question can have wildly different answers depending on who answers and debates it,and on when it is asked,everybodies ideas and knowledge changes as time passes,or at least it should do therefore it has the right to be asked again

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:09:28 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavidLee44UK

LP

so why when i made my 1st introduction post was it attacked

Dude, your lack of effort over a simple spell check program probably has something to do with it.  How many threads have to go over the same thing about your attitude with people?  I am *not* the only one who points this out.

quote:

my second when i said i was active in the london scene somone jumped in and said because I didnt know someone i must been fake

Frankly, because in My opinion, you lied.  You didn't say that you didn't know *someone*.  You said, that in a major metropolitan area, you were active in the local scene and didn't know about pro dommes.  Sorry, but I've talked to too many people in London who frequent clubs and there's too much networking going on for it to be missed. 

quote:

my approach was fine

its all well and good to say things

but had pages and pages bout me being fake

Yet, you've been on the site 23 years when it didn't even exist.  People called you on it.  Sucks to be you.

quote:

NO ONE said anything about not calling me fake

why cause the cliq

Oh, piss on the clique.  That BS only gets pulled when people get jealous that other people have friends here.  Your lack of people liking you is neither My fault or My problem.

quote:

im a nice guy but wasn't given a chance

Guess what?  I'm not.  Never said that I was.  I'm not here for popular opinion.  Hell, yesterday I wrote a post that said I supported somebody getting rid of a pet.  How many friends do you think that made Me? 

I don't promise "nice".  I do promise honest.

quote:

then when i was banned first time the people who did it made a post and gloated no one said anything

Take that up with the Mods.  I'm not one.

quote:

its all very well saying these things but actions come in to play

Don't get on My nerves about "actions" right now.  If you're a Dominant, stand up and be one by actions.  Not by pissing and moaning on a message board. 

quote:

my 3rd post was asked why i couldnt be clearer so i posted i had dyspraxia again no one said ANYTHING

Frankly, I don't give a shit.  It's not the dyspraxia that makes you disabled and if you don't see that, I can't help you.

quote:

i found that very disturbing im trying to be open and honest

I find dishonesty disturbing.  Does that mean I get honesty from everybody?  Nope.

quote:

yet nothing and all the while i mention that these posters hide themselves and also hide profile NOTHING

Quit trying to mix Me in with what other people do.  You're dealing with Me.  Not the entirety of the world wide web.

quote:

lol so in the end i gave up and said if people want drama theyll get it

I can't be any plainer with you than I already have.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DavidLee44UK)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:12:27 PM   
DavidLee44UK


Posts: 436
Joined: 5/13/2011
Status: offline 		lol LP I SAID 500 times my /// doesnt wrk properly

lol i meant 2/3 lol

but obv no matter how many times i say something people dont listen or dont want to

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:12:46 PM   
erieangel


Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline 		If i have a question, i'm going to post my question, i'm not going to spend time searching the archives looking for opinions of people who may not even be on the boards any longer. The reason i would this is many fold. Mainly it is because an answer i get might generate another question that i hadn't thought of before--dialogue.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:14:09 PM   
DavidLee44UK


Posts: 436
Joined: 5/13/2011
Status: offline 		lollp

if you say something who the hell do you think im gonna talk to about it elvis pressley

(in reply to DavidLee44UK)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:26:54 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		@ DavidLee44UK:

Often people will form a first impression of a poster right off the bat and sometimes it is a positive assumption and sometime sit is negative.
Sometimes when people meet people offline and the dynamic that was formed online translated poorly when meeting in person and then opinions quickly change and remains less than positive without wavering. There are people who interpret a person asking questions and these questions are interpreted as being less than forthcoming or it is taken to be a way to cause trouble yet the questioner is simply seeking outside views.

Problem with a medium like this is we all just have the words we see on a screen to form opinions and such of a person without having the clues from body language, voice inflections and voice tones to offer up addition clues. I can see where it is common for a person and often a new comer to be immediately deemed this or that and the result is as you described what happened with you. Human beings are fickle creatures and here on the boards we all see a wide spectrum of this. Yes there are people who gravitate to others that think alike though in most cases,these people are good friends offline. I had seen this a few years ago while I was in Orlando and then this past March in St Louis.


Hell...none of us have the answer to why. We can presume, assume, guesstimate til the cows come home and there still will not be an answer that suits everyone.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to DavidLee44UK)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:27:47 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
These days, though, this IS how it's done. I found CollarMe through talking with someone who said "Hey - you seem to be into this - why don't you try CollarMe?" I had no idea at the time that I would eventually be in a D/s relationship - I was just exploring things. So how would I, as a person brand new to the world of BDSM, know that I have to "work for it"? I, as a person brand new, wouldn't even know what questions to ask. Thank goodness for the Internet. I don't really know where I would be in some aspects if I hadn't stumbled across this site, the submissive wife, and taken in hand. All opened doors for my mind before I even knew there were doors to be opened.

I don't find the questions to be a lack of initiative but rather, an abundance of unknowns. Do I roll my eyes when I see "W/we" and "U/us" type of writing? Yes. Did I do that when I first got here? Yes. (Cringe.) Nobody is born knowing they should go to a munch to meet people. And...I do think that people may genuinely feel that their question of "How can I be a good Master?" or "What types of punishment are best?" are good and honest questions because they really, simply don't know.

That being said, I don't consider it my job to educate them. Sometimes I reply, often I don't. But I try not to kick them around for it.


I'm trying to keep up with responses.  There's more people responding than just Me typing back, so please have patience folks.

Yep.  I'm backwards.  Always have been here.  I was not on the net first and there were things that tripped Me up when I first got here, too.  I'm not saying that My way is the only way, but nobody can tell Me that My way doesn't work. 

I actually think that it's great that the net is available.  There is so much information that is at a person's fingertips that it never ceases to amaze Me.  It's probably the greatest tool on the planet, but it's still just a tool.  Like any other tool, if you don't apply the use of it, there's no meaning to it. 

How is your life today?  Are you still the same person when you had those first questions?  Of course you're not.  That's called personal progress and that's what folks are supposed to do.  You learn, you grow, and then you move on to the next thing.  Sure, you can help folks who had those same questions that you once did, but it's not the end all, be all of it.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:29:56 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

Shit like the death penalty or someone calling my dad mentally ill for being a good Christian man.
Or that you don't know how to have fun, or that you shouldn't point out somebody's age to put them down unless its really relevant to your point, or when Dave posts something, or zippers, or..., or....

Come on, drop the holier than thou crap, you're as bad a perpetrator as anybody here.

I get snippy with people all the time, mostly because they are stupid. Like lying about what they said elsewhere on the forums, or asking dumb questions, or just plain being mentally incompetent. Sometimes just because I'm in a shitty mood, or maybe just because I think what I post is funny.

Oh that and people saying that that right-wing bastard Obama is a socialist...puhleeeeze!!  We wouldn't even let him look through the window, let alone come in the door.


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:31:34 PM   
DavidLee44UK


Posts: 436
Joined: 5/13/2011
Status: offline 		agree wolf but to put that opinion out there and to use thaas a basis for how others react to you is wrong

i have some words id like to say about some here

but don't

its a public forum everyone should be able to use it without abuse

i use twitter a lot its 140 characters even smaller if you want it retweeted strange im understood perfectly there

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:38:44 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

nearly forgot made a thread other day was derailed after my first post

again no one said anything
Whaaaaahhhhhh!!!! Mommyyyyyy!!! They're not being nice to me on the internet!!!


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to DavidLee44UK)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:39:00 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*snort*

_____________________________

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 4:41:44 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

A thread or two I read here lately have me thinking. So many times, someone posts something, and the reactions that come are "You are searching for wank material", "Why would you post such stuff for us to see?", "We are not in your dynamic", "Use the search feature", etc so on and so forth.

So, is it the subject that gets folks riled, or is it the fact they do not know, or do not like, the person doing the posting?


My opinion on eople who ask questions that have been asked numerous times all ready is this: they are looking for something beyond an answer in a box; they want the human contact that accompanies the response and the search function doesn't really fill that void.
It isn't the words that tell them that they aren't so strange or alone in their wonderings, but an actual response from another person.
Sometimes people want contact.

_____________________________

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(as deemed by He who owns me)

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(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 40
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