collars in public (Full Version)

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bashfulgirl -> collars in public (5/17/2006 7:10:24 AM)

Sir, i have two jobs that require me to work in public. Do i need to wear my collar?



missturbation -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 7:13:07 AM)

I had two collars, one for public wear and one for play. I manage a pub and did not feel comfortable wearing a collar that was too 'obvious'.



mistoferin -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 7:14:42 AM)

I'm not sure who you are asking this question to but.....shouldn't you be asking YOUR Sir? He is the only one that can answer that.



mixielicous -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 7:15:05 AM)

i am not a master, but i am going to reply

i wear mine in public,

but most importantly this is really a question to ask your master b/c he is the one who is going to decide this




bashfulgirl -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 7:15:29 AM)

my one job is im a scjool bus driver and with the collar i dont want to scare the kids on my bus



mistoferin -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 7:16:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bashfulgirl

my one job is im a scjool bus driver and with the collar i dont want to scare the kids on my bus


Again....noone here can answer this for you other than your Sir. You need to communicate your concerns to Him.



Ceyx -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 7:20:04 AM)

This would really be between you and your 'Sir,' but if you're looking for more general advice...

My miss has a collar that she can wear publicly-- it's a beaded choker, but the symbolism is clear to both of us and it doesn't get her into any trouble with the mundanes. I don't insist that she wear it whenever she goes out, but sometimes the fancy strikes me. If this is a problem for you, the two of you may wish to invest in an additional 'public collar' of this sort: something both low-profile and reflective of your relationship.



talibahh -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 7:21:23 AM)

depending on the couple, if a collar in itself is not able to be worn for whatever reason, then a specific piece of jewelery can be substitued, such as a thick chain style necklace, which Your "Sir" has chosen/bought.
 
i know this will be so in my case... if my Master sees it is not appropriate for me to wear His collar somewhere for whatever reason, He will substitute it for His necklace, which will symbolize the same thing to U/us but subtly. But the choice will be His.
 
tali

edited for typos



OsideGirl -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 7:30:35 AM)

A good Dominant will take real life into consideration. Things such as if it will damage your job, is one of those things. If you go to your job wearing a "slave collar" and someonefigures it out, you'll most likely lose your job. Most parents are not very forgiving of alternative lifestyle when it comes to them being exposed to their children.

If you are going to do this, I would suggest something unobtrusive. A lot of people where necklaces and similar things. Or you can do something like an Eternity collar which just looks like a piece of Gen X jewelry.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 8:44:18 AM)

Whatever you guys want to do will be the right thing to do.



Kinkypupper -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 9:21:34 AM)

I agree with most of the comments here it has to be between  the Master and their slave. If the Master wants to keep in consideration the slaves outside (vanilla)lifestyle then that is their choice.
Due to current fashion however it is VERY possable for a slave to wear a collar 24/7 and not cause a neighborhood stur. My slave has had a collar on since Sept.of last year and except for some metal allergy issues (that we finely solved) it has not come off since and will not be removed for the rest of her life on earth and beyond.
(Unless there is a medical reason that it absolutely has to be removed)
She is wearing a light titanium collar from Axmar and when someone does ask what it is she states with a smile its her "collar",  If asked further she explains that its like a wedding band on steroids.
The only way we as a society "sub group" can be accepted is to put a positive "spin" on who and what we are to combat the negative press and fears that we are all abusers and perverts (ok perhaps we are perverts).



bandit25 -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 9:27:11 AM)

I'm not quite sure why you would ask here either, but yeah, whatever the two of you decide is the right thing.



sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 12:01:12 PM)

There are a lot of subtle pieces of jewlery that you can wear in public if your Dom requires you to wear a collar at all times. Talk to him about it.



Slipstreme -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 2:12:53 PM)

Actually with collars becoming more and more a fashion statement, at least among people my age, I have worn my choke chain (no D/s connections) in public and no one blinks an eye. Of course, I usually go for the full on goth look, but the point is, it is becoming more acceptable in society. My friend up north wears her collar to work all the time, and no one has given her a headache about it. In fact she has gotten a few compliments, and she works in a grocery store.

But agreed, as to the OP, you should ask your Master, and let him decide.



perverseangelic -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 5:34:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slipstreme

Actually with collars becoming more and more a fashion statement, at least among people my age, I have worn my choke chain (no D/s connections) in public and no one blinks an eye. ... My friend up north wears her collar to work all the time, and no one has given her a headache about it. In fact she has gotten a few compliments, and she works in a grocery store.

But agreed, as to the OP, you should ask your Master, and let him decide.


Agreed, especially in our age group. I get comments on mine occationally, but they're almost all positive.

Ask your owner, not us.



Slipstreme -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 6:19:23 PM)

I've noticed too, that whether you wear a collar in public, how people react to it is usually defined by how you act in it.

Ie: If you are afriad someone will notice the collar and figure that there is some perverse reason to wear it, then people likely will ask you about it. If you wear it proudly, or even, not pay any attention to it all, people are less likely to question the meaning behind it. They just assume it is your style.

I've found this actually to be a powerful tool doing anything in public you don't think the public will accept. I am a member of the furry community, and furries are often portrayed as sick perverted freaks, and I draw my anthropomorphic art in public whenever I want to. When I acted secretive about it is when people noticed and took offense. It was when I acted as if everything was ok and not gave any outward sign of doing something "deviant" that people didn't care, and even when people would come up and say something to the effect of "cool art!" It is a strong perception to be aware of and know that how you act will influence how people react to you and can be a powerful tool to enjoy some of your alternative lifestyle in the presense of others.



CmotDribbler -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 6:24:37 PM)

My Kitten wears hers in public, but then again we made sure to get a low key one that wouldn't really stand out too much.
If you are worried abit more about public try something a little subtler A bracelet, or anklet, something that is special to the two of you.



HoosierScorpio -> RE: collars in public (5/17/2006 8:19:14 PM)

This Thread has come up before and allot people have different viewpoints about public collar. I made a leather collar that looks more like a leather choker than a collar but the young lady loves it and has wore it in public. I know a couple who make her own collar and wears it all the time and she works at a university she has no problem telling  people what it is when they are asked. I know a Master who had Jewelry made that looks great and looks more like a joker and it is lockable. I came across a young lady wearing something that look like a collar and I asked her if she was in the lifestyle and she was puzzled. Collars are starting to become a common place for people to wear in public as is Piercing and tattoos. A collar can be any thing you want it to be. I used a Dog tag on my first girl as a collar because her parents had no ideal she was in the lifestyle. Matter her mom thought is was cute for her to wear my dog tags. Good luck this is a personal choice and you guys must decide if you want to be open and honest or keep it private.



Estring -> RE: collars in public (5/18/2006 12:29:41 AM)

I would say that when kids are involved, don't wear the collar.



CanadianGuy -> RE: collars in public (5/18/2006 4:16:07 AM)

My girl wears a thin "vanilla" gold necklace with a "D" on it (my first initial) which I gave to her about a year and a half ago.  I didn't intend it to be a collar, just a symbol of my love and ownership, something pretty to show how much I cared.  For her, it took on a meaning, and she hasn't removed it since it went on.  I like that.

In some ways, I would like to get her something more substantial, tighter, perhaps silver or stainless steel, a thin chain type thing maybe.  Perhaps down the road.  And no, I wouldn't be upset it she wore it in public, as long as it didn't look out of place for her clothing or for the company involved.



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