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RE: Do You Show? - 7/13/2011 12:01:56 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I do not believe that you can tell someone's kink profile from the way they present themselves in daily outside life.

I would never be so assumptive to think I could just tell what someone would be into.

No one who meets me would ever believe some of the things I like to do. And why should they?

I am assertive in my daily life and the only people who need to know I am sexually submissive are the people who get to know me on that level.

Or on places like CM where I am upfront about it.

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do You Show? - 7/13/2011 1:22:39 PM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline 		While my career tends to be service oriented, and it is not unusual to call my clients/customers Sir or Maam, the few people from the Vanillia world who have become aware of my kinks have been fully surprised that my preferred role is submissive. On the other hand, i have had many discussions regarding who is actually more in "control" in a Domme/sub situation.



_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do You Show? - 7/13/2011 3:37:01 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist

Based on the way other people respond to you in everyday life, do you think your submissive nature shines through--maybe even when you'd rather it didn't?



Not one iota. I am not submissive to others at work or in other relationships. It's actually hard for me to "feel" submissive to Master many days. It's kind of a matter of just submit and don't worry about if you want to at the moment or not Because, in the end, I want to be His and I want Him to be in charge. It's just that every single day I may not always have the most submissive-feeling "mood." I still do it. No way anyone else who really knows me would ever think of me as "submissive."

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do You Show? - 7/13/2011 4:21:48 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		~FR~
If I do "show" I would be confusing to people. I'm a switch, submissive part of the time and assertive/dominant at other times. At times I let things slide by and it's oh well. At other times, I put my foot down and this is the way it will be. In my working life, I've had employment where I'm supervisor to some and subordinate to yet others. In my personal life, I'm sub to one and - when I have a sub of my own - I'm Domme to another.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do You Show? - 7/13/2011 5:43:50 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Based on the way other people respond to you in everyday life, do you think your submissive nature shines through
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisPet21

Actually, most people who don't know much about my relationship perceive me as having an extremely dominant personality. And outside of my relationship, I am a very dominant women. I am only submissive with respect to my dominant partner.


Me too.

(in reply to HisPet21)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do You Show? - 7/14/2011 12:06:21 PM   
Asherscorp1


Posts: 143
Joined: 3/6/2011
Status: offline 		Depends on if I'm interracting with a male or a female. With women I am shy, timid even because women intimidate the heck out of me. So, sure females who look at me sexually can see how I'm obviously submissive. Although with straight women I seem to be much more out-going. With men I'm immediately in charge, aggressive sometimes because men are just to have fun with. There are times when a male will really come through and have something that kicks me into sub mode but it's awfully rare. So most men don't really see the sub side.

_____________________________

"The path to slavery is so narrow that two cannot walk upon it at the same time, hence why the slave must crawl behind." -- Unknown


(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do You Show? - 7/14/2011 4:29:22 PM   
whatisthewhat


Posts: 43
Joined: 4/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
Submission, (in my perspective) is not a passive state. Much of my 'can do' attitude is to ensure a better day for others but that frequently gets interpreted as dominance. (no, I am not saying a dominant doesn't care about people)


I could not agree more! I perceive myself as both dominant and submissive in my every day interactions, regardless of the fact that I am the "boss" of 21 other people at work and am regarded as having a kind of outsized personality that tends to dominate, even if it is only people's perceptions of me.

Ideally, the Dom/sub relationship is cyclical and produces loving, caring relationships and individuals who are part of something greater than themselves. So, despite our "defined" roles, I really see Sir and me as serving as both Dom and sub, regardless of the fact that he calls the shots.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I Admit It I........ - 7/14/2011 8:39:58 PM   
xXsoumisXx


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/26/2009
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Catize, I met my partner through a Domme I was dating in LA so i didn't meet her in a professional setting. She does legal work for a fortune 20 firm and has to ramrod deals all over the world, she ain't meek. I like to think i could not only spot her but make her wet even if I had met at a cocktail party just with a glance, turn of phrase, or a tone in my voice. Could be wrong, but I doubt it.


For me, there are a few rare men that can spot me in a vanilla setting.

SimplyMichael is probably one of them..

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do You Show? - 7/14/2011 9:12:01 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Based on the way other people respond to you in everyday life, do you think your submissive nature shines through--maybe even when you'd rather it didn't?


People who know me rather well can see it, most others not so much. I do not think I give off a submissive vibe unless I love a person... and that is with all of the people I love.




_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do You Show? - 7/16/2011 2:43:10 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		As a dominant man, I can tell you that the problem is the other way around. It is not submissive people displaying their submissiveness, but instead NON-SUBMISSIVE people (i.e. vanilla people that are not interested in kink at all) displaying a submissive side.

I have seen grown men and women that I know are vanilla let a dog, cat, or child boss them around like they were a total slave. Maybe they are hiding things, but it would have to be very very deeply hidden.

Then there was the secretary I knew that was totally cowed by her boss but I knew was a dominant at home.

In my opinion, most people are complex and you can not always count that how they act in one situation will reflect how they act all the time.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do You Show? - 7/16/2011 3:33:08 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I think anybody that knows me can tell that I have a submissive personality. It really wouldn't shock anybody to find out that I like doing things to please my partner and that I'm fine with him making decisions and being the assertive one.

The real thing that would surprise most people is knowing that I'm a kinky pervert! Most people seem to assume that I'm some sweet innocent girl-next-door type, lol.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do You Show? - 7/17/2011 12:43:01 AM   
foxling


Posts: 34
Joined: 6/17/2011
Status: offline 		I think people who have started to get to know me well wouldn't have too much issue seeing that I was a submissive type. When I'm at work, or around people I don't really know, I'm somehow much more assertive and actively decisive as a means of getting things done and feigning confidence enough that everything runs smoothly.

However, unlike NiceGuy above, everyone that meets me seems to assume I've got some filthy naughty streak! Most amusing.

(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do You Show? - 7/17/2011 10:11:01 AM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		i've had total strangers come up to me and drop not-so-subtle hints.

pam

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do You Show? - 7/17/2011 6:50:50 PM   
whipher1


Posts: 51
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline 		thats true but we know you (wink)

(in reply to gungadin09)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do You Show? - 7/18/2011 3:15:05 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I do not believe that you can tell someone's kink profile from the way they present themselves in daily outside life.



i think with some people you can, but you shouldn't try it with everyone you meet.
my last relationship started because he could "tell" by how i responded to him.
and he was totally right about me. =p i guess having an inkling should be taken as just enough to approach the subject, and if the person really is interested, then you can move from there.

i think it's more difficult with men because they have a lot of social pressure to be dominant and "in charge."


i dunno if it's a matter of "showing" or what, but i have a very difficult time saying no. and no, it has nothing to do with my intelligence or with being an adult, or whatever (figured i'd try to head those things off at the pass because that's what people generally assume here in CM), it's just how i've always been.


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do You Show? - 7/18/2011 9:12:55 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
my submissive nature shows through CONSTANTLY! Try as  I might I just can't hide it. It is who I am. I hate conflict. I hate approaching people, I hate having to ask for things. I'd much rather have someone else doing all those things for me.

This pretty much describes Carol also. It's what I've come to call "socially submissive" rather than "sexually submissive" or "BDSM submissive". And yes, since it's a behavior that shows in the larger social sense then it's blatantly obvious to everyone who interacts with her.. whether on not they know the words.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 36
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