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RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 5:58:01 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedInspiration

I have to say here....

I would guess (and of course this is just a supposition on my part)... that the male Dominants here who have poo poo'ed the notion of sharing are LESS than secure about themselves, their partner's affection, their phallus size, their ability to dominate well (in terms of mindgames and bdsm games particularly) or their ability to please their partner. AND.. I'll even go out on a limb and surmise that they would "allow" their submissive woman to play (sexually) with another woman..

Call me crazy!

Nice to meet ya, Crazy.

What a truly goofed up notion. Did Freud piss in your Post Toasties? Personally, I have oodles more respect for a man who refuses to share what's his, simply because it's the "in" thing to do or because "everyone" else is doing it. Goody for everyone else...if it works for them, great. But that doesn't mean that EVERYONE must participate in it.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to NeedInspiration)

Post #: 101

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 6:19:56 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
Personally, I have oodles more respect for a man who refuses to share what's his, simply because it's the "in" thing to do or because "everyone" else is doing it.

In all our discussions, these reasons never came up. If those were our reasons, we'd have serious problems!

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 102

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 6:20:11 PM

LadyGatta

Posts: 44
Joined: 3/12/2005
From: usa
Status: offline

Never share My toys with anyone!!!

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 103

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 6:21:50 PM

LadyGatta

Posts: 44
Joined: 3/12/2005
From: usa
Status: offline

No way! Will never ever share My toys!

_____________________________

LG

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 104

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 6:25:55 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
Personally, I have oodles more respect for a man who refuses to share what's his, simply because it's the "in" thing to do or because "everyone" else is doing it.

In all our discussions, these reasons never came up. If those were our reasons, we'd have serious problems!

That doesn't mean that it's not why some people do it, owned. It's certainly is implied in the post I quoted from NeedInspiration. And, for the record and to make myself perfectly clear...sharing is fine if it works for both of you. But it doesn't have to work for everyone and isn't a negative reflection on those for whom it does not work.

Personally, I think it's great that you had such a positive experience with it.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 105

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 6:33:17 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Thanks for clarifying, feastie. I didn't take your comment personally, but the "because everyone else is doing it" reason came out of left field. It may be the reason for some, but a rather silly reason in my opinion, if that is the case.

I totally agree that what is good for some is not for others. Not just on this particular subject but on many others as well.

Thanks for your post.

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 106

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 7:14:11 PM

genvieve

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline

Sharing can enlist a sense of pride in both the Dominant and the submissive involved. However, simply put... please please please be communicative of the boundaries before sharing occurs.

There i go, talking about communication again. -snort-

-genvieve

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 107

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 7:21:16 PM

ExpSUBmale

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

Being shared or sharing is a way of showing total commitment. The Dom is showing "this is mine and I have no fear", the sub is saying "I am well trained and would never embarass my Master." The first time I was shared I knew my Domme loved me and was proud of me. It was a leap forward in our relationship.

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 108

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 8:26:45 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

Here is a question for both Dominants and submissives. Dom/mes, do you share your subs? Subs, do you serve your Master or Mistresses friends, and if so, in what capacity?

I do not know about anyone else here, but I quite often get mail from "subs" who want do anything for me (and my girlfriends) pleasure. lol Some submissives (term used loosly here) seem to want to "serve" anyone who is present. Is this commonly done? Who does it, and why?

I will allow my sub to serve my friends in a non-sexual capacity. Am I a minority? How do others feel about this issue?

I decided to answer from the beginning of this thread then I'll read some of the other postings and possibly make future comments as I go. Those who don't want to read them or care about what I have to say I guess can gloss over them LOL

I have shared my subs non-sexually with other Dom/mes. Sometimes it was for punishment as in 'go clean Dom XX house' or it's for a reward in a type of play I don't usually do such as electric or whip. It's more a male subs thoughts to be shared especially givinig oral service to 'your friends' then it is for females to be used in that manner. IMHO anyway. It's the male ego who also wants to be put on display so that your friends can comment on them. I usually laugh and say oh yeah they will comment about your sorry ass cause I would use that as humiliation play unless of course they liked humiliation which then I would ask all my friends not to say or touch that stupid sub while we enjoyed others during the party.

My subs have given me the feedback before/after play in order for me to make good judgements for them. At this point they have never not enjoyed themselves. I have enjoyed having the privilege of playing with anothers submissives also: both sexes.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 109

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 8:30:05 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingSadist

The sheer thought of sharing her with other makes me cringe.
But then again I’ll not rule out the possibility some time in the future that it can become necessary to loan her to another sadistic dom to satisfy his sexual needs in order to further develop her submission and obedience. That’s how much I love her.

Loving Sadist

It's good that you allow yourself to be open enough to think there might be a possibility in order for her to develop her sumbission more. Since female subs view things sexually so differently from male subs, sharing a female sexually can have far greater consequences then with males. Good luck.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to LovingSadist)

Post #: 110

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 8:33:17 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I have shared women, I have had women I didn't want to share, I have had women everyone wanted me to share.

I have shared women because I was insecure, I have done it from a secure place, same goes for not sharing. My cock size is fine although my ego could do with a bit of trimming.

The reasons people choose to share or not share are many and some are good and some aren't. To me, it all depends on the dynamics of the relationship, but that sums up my opinion about most things.

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 111

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 8:36:57 PM

dominantricdiva

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

i love to share my subs with my girlfriends, for their sexual pleasures

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 112

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 8:40:11 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

I dont have a Dominant at this time either, but when I do find one, I would hope that we are on the same wave link, and not share at all.....

That is the point: that you are both on the same wave length. Open and honest communciation. If one of you thinks, hmmm maybe in the future I might want to do this, then that point has to be made known to the other.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 113

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 8:43:05 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

While I fully understand and accept the concept of sharing, I wouldn't even consider having my slave serve another. I guess I am not wired that way...or rather, we aren't.

Bob

What I wonder from some of these posts that don't mention it: is it sexually serving someone or just plain serving? As in having your submissive clean anothers house, serve at a party, help someone with a particular job? You can share a sub outside of bdsm play.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 114

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 8:46:08 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

Sharing can enlist a sense of pride in both the Dominant and the submissive involved. However, simply put... please please please be communicative of the boundaries before sharing occurs.

There i go, talking about communication again. -snort-

-genvieve

Exactly....honest and open communication. Doms must listen to their subs! Possibly a sub knows more about a certain Dom but is unwilling to tell her Owner what cause she has no concrete proof only what other subs have told her. I think in bdsm play no Dom should allow their sub to be shared unless they really know the other Dom very well.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 115

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 10:15:55 PM

keme

Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

I have never been in a collar so I can not give that side but I can say that being mentored and allowed the honor of being house slave to high protocal situations that I have relished the chance to serve my Mentor's parties.
I have learned to always approach a Dominant through his or her submissive though. I did it the first time because I thought since a Dominant would approach another Dominant that it would only be proper as a submissive to approach the submissive. Her words of gratitude and smile were enough to show me that I had chosen well.
I know for a fact that when I am in service I don't wish to be incapacitated by down time after play as I feel bad if someone else has to do the task set before me. I serve with love in my heart and sincerity. I have watched some submissives try to 'vie for' the attention of a Dominant with a submissive in their collar and I believe this is deplorable. I serve all equally and with all my heart because it is a part of who I am. I have even serves other submissives who are incapacitated for whatever reason. I get shocked looks then too.
But now that I have babbled out of my train of thought I will come back to... as an uncollared submissive I always approach the submissive (or slave) first. I serve as quietly as I can slipping in to empty ashtrays or clear away trash without even being noticed... because that to me is a thrill when I get to watch from the shadows their surprized faces. Thank you my brother for teaching me that.

_____________________________

The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 116

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/30/2006 11:06:03 PM

iFraudius

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Dom/mes, do you share your subs?

Well, I've done that in the past, but after having had more than one person I offered to share my sub with, not wait for me to cut off a piece, but just grab it and bite right in, leaving their distinctive bite signature and a not insignificant amount of saliva behind, I have vowed to never share one of my subs again!

_____________________________

"I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned. When you're not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you've sinned." - Leonard Cohen

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 117

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/31/2006 5:27:01 PM

WhiteRadiance

Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

So true! How can both be happy if they are not honest and express what they want or need? It is SO IMPORTANT to share with your partner your expectations and needs!
I don't know about anyone else but I have had a relationship that was tested by my partner telling me he wanted something after saying to begin with that he did not. (did that make sense?) lol
Anyway, I love it- honesty and communication.. It works for all involved.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAlexa

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

I dont have a Dominant at this time either, but when I do find one, I would hope that we are on the same wave link, and not share at all.....

That is the point: that you are both on the same wave length. Open and honest communciation. If one of you thinks, hmmm maybe in the future I might want to do this, then that point has to be made known to the other.

< Message edited by WhiteRadiance -- 5/31/2006 5:39:00 PM >

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 118

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/31/2006 5:37:22 PM

WhiteRadiance

Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Well, I've done that in the past, but after having had more than one person I offered to share my sub with, not wait for me to cut off a piece, but just grab it and bite right in, leaving their distinctive bite signature and a not insignificant amount of saliva behind, I have vowed to never share one of my subs again!

[/quote]

I have heard such tales and can only say that anyone who bit into my boy would draw back a nub.
I will only share with trusted friends. I have heard tales of certain dominants crossing the line- requesting and expecting services that were not offered, or appropriate. Doors being closed, clothes being removed, etc.
In any case, I do not loan out my car, tools, toys, money, or anything else of value to just anyone. My boy is a treasure and ONLY those I know and love are going to get the PRIVELEDGE of his service.

(in reply to iFraudius)

Post #: 119

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/31/2006 5:45:49 PM

genvieve

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAlexa

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

Sharing can enlist a sense of pride in both the Dominant and the submissive involved. However, simply put... please please please be communicative of the boundaries before sharing occurs.

There i go, talking about communication again. -snort-

-genvieve

Exactly....honest and open communication. Doms must listen to their subs! Possibly a sub knows more about a certain Dom but is unwilling to tell her Owner what cause she has no concrete proof only what other subs have told her. I think in bdsm play no Dom should allow their sub to be shared unless they really know the other Dom very well.

i would, on the whole agree with You. Although, i might add that if one wishes to share one's sub with a stranger... public play parties are a good environment to do it in. -nods- Just make the DM aware of the situation, i'm sure they'd be happy to sort of cozy up to the people in the scene.

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 120

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