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Seeking - 7/21/2011 1:03:52 AM

tassy3

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/4/2009
Status: offline

How does one find a Mistress / slave for real, that's not a pro?

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RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 1:21:16 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

None of the slaves I found were pro, but then I'm not too keen on slaves and prefer masochistic subs

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Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to tassy3)

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RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 1:34:36 AM

SweetShySubgirl

Posts: 64
Joined: 6/15/2011
Status: offline

I would just talk to them, read their profiles and try to figure it out. Eventually you'll figure it out through conversation. I would imagine that they would just come out and say it right away though.

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Formerly YBS

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RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 3:18:39 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Go to a munch. I promise you that every person you meet there is a genuine human being.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SweetShySubgirl)

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RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 3:49:19 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tassy3

How does one find a Mistress / slave for real, that's not a pro?

Might be your location...

Then your profile, most dominant women here don't really go for the challenge

quote:

Do you think you could tame me, cuff me, gag me while having fun, OR perhaps you require training on how to be an obedient sub.

My reaction would be - even if I was local - why would I want to "tame" you? Sounds like a complete and utter power struggle. I don't know how submissive women read the rest, but I would imagine that they would also want to know why they should submit to you and what you got to offer - experience or are you interested in them beyond all the fetishes you listed, you know the human being behind the orientation.

quote:

You must be fit, healthy, obedient (or gently dom), and prepared to be trained well plus like travel and dinning.

Speak soon and ensure you wear your heels before replying :)

Again my reaction would be, "I don't think I can be bothered and I'll wear my heels whenever I please, I'm not a fetish doll!"

Maybe you want to check the FAQ about how to create a profile that attracts women - and you know the orientation D or s doesn't really matter, basically we are women first and want to be seen as people (most of us) and not as animated dolls who wear the outfits you require to get your jollies. I do understand why the profile attracts mainly professionals, because it does read like work.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to tassy3)

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Post #: 5

RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 3:57:10 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Fella, I don't know what the scene is like in Singapore. Here in the US, just go to a munch or search for local groups.

Your profile confused me. It sounded like you don't really have a role, but just thought D/s is hot. You'll never get a woman who likes the mental aspects of D/s if you don;t know where you fit or you think of he relationship as a big play scene.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

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RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 4:30:56 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

i'd say stop looking in the fucking yellow pages.

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fuck a duck ~w. disney

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 5:20:16 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Did you check the "Ask a Mistress FAQs: Read This First" sticky at the top of this forum section?

Some great info there, and I strongly recommend a read.

I don't know how much of an issue your location might be, Singapore has an anything goes rep.

I think the bigger issue is that you are a switch. There is no nice way to say this: Many dom/mes and s-types are highly prejudiced against switches. They think your dom side isn't domly enough and your sub side isn't subby enough. Some think switches are confused and should decide, others think switches should only be paired with other switches. IMO All that's nonsense, but the way your profile is written doesn't help this bias in the least.

It's fairly obvious you're out here for some kinky fun, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you're going to have to try harder to attract the kinds of females you want (non pro).

So check out that FAQs thread, and search for some local groups in your area. Don't let the anti-switch thing get you down, I'm a switch, and some of the best people I know (here and in rl) are switches, too.

Best of luck, Chatte

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RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 6:39:22 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

i'd say stop looking in the fucking yellow pages.

actually, I'd say START looking in the yellow pages... given the comments on the OPs profile, that would be the best bet, I think..

I could be wrong *shrug*

I know nothing about Singapore..

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

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RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 7:56:06 AM

StrikingBeauty

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/14/2011
Status: offline

Be the guy that a woman wants to spend time with.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

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RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 10:39:15 AM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: tassy3
How does one find a Mistress / slave for real, that's not a pro?

Might be your location...

Then your profile, most dominant women here don't really go for the challenge

quote:

Do you think you could tame me, cuff me, gag me while having fun, OR perhaps you require training on how to be an obedient sub.

My reaction would be - even if I was local - why would I want to "tame" you? Sounds like a complete and utter power struggle. I don't know how submissive women read the rest, but I would imagine that they would also want to know why they should submit to you and what you got to offer - experience or are you interested in them beyond all the fetishes you listed, you know the human being behind the orientation.

quote:

You must be fit, healthy, obedient (or gently dom), and prepared to be trained well plus like travel and dinning.

Speak soon and ensure you wear your heels before replying :)

Again my reaction would be, "I don't think I can be bothered and I'll wear my heels whenever I please, I'm not a fetish doll!"

Maybe you want to check the FAQ about how to create a profile that attracts women - and you know the orientation D or s doesn't really matter, basically we are women first and want to be seen as people (most of us) and not as animated dolls who wear the outfits you require to get your jollies. I do understand why the profile attracts mainly professionals, because it does read like work.

This. All of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Fella, I don't know what the scene is like in Singapore. Here in the US, just go to a munch or search for local groups.

Your profile confused me. It sounded like you don't really have a role, but just thought D/s is hot. You'll never get a woman who likes the mental aspects of D/s if you don't know where you fit or you think of he relationship as a big play scene.

The OP's a switch and I can understand that. I am too. BUT he seems to mix up his requirements for a Domme and a slave all in the same sentences. It reads almost like he wants a Domme but is challenging her to make him obey otherwise he will force her to submit. Maybe that's part of the problem. Male subs have a hard time finding a Domme anyway, but this makes it even harder.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

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Post #: 11

RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 10:45:56 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

The OP's a switch and I can understand that. I am too. BUT he seems to mix up his requirements for a Domme and a slave all in the same sentences. It reads almost like he wants a Domme but is challenging her to make him obey otherwise he will force her to submit. Maybe that's part of the problem. Male subs have a hard time finding a Domme anyway, but this makes it even harder.

~Hisprettybaby~

No beef with switches as long as they understand and respect that I don't switch, it's fine and if they want to dominate somebody else outside of our play or even with me, sounds like fun, great! But not the "I challenge you, show me you're worthy" stuff, it just doesn't work.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)

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Post #: 12

RE: Seeking - 7/21/2011 11:23:31 AM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

The OP's a switch and I can understand that. I am too. BUT he seems to mix up his requirements for a Domme and a slave all in the same sentences. It reads almost like he wants a Domme but is challenging her to make him obey otherwise he will force her to submit. Maybe that's part of the problem. Male subs have a hard time finding a Domme anyway, but this makes it even harder.

~Hisprettybaby~

No beef with switches as long as they understand and respect that I don't switch, it's fine and if they want to dominate somebody else outside of our play or even with me, sounds like fun, great! But not the "I challenge you, show me you're worthy" stuff, it just doesn't work.

Oh, I agree totally. I know that, even though I'm new to my switchy Domme side, it would only make me avoid someone of s/he was insistent on challenging my Dominance. When I'm looking for a sub, I want someone who wants to submit. I'm not into that battling for it and forcing someone. I consider that game-playing that I don't want to take part in & a total waste of my time.

~Hisprettybaby~

~edited for a silly typo~

< Message edited by Hisprettybaby -- 7/21/2011 11:24:50 AM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

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Post #: 13

RE: Seeking - 7/22/2011 2:06:14 AM

RqrCompanionS

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2011
Status: offline

The same way one finds a Spouse/Spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend, or, just go out on a date, without hiring someone.

1) Don't hire anyone
2) Don't be hired by anyone.
3) Get to know the person
4) Choose the person who you like, who likes you.

... and, now that I've seen your profile, I edit my response to say "Ick!", "Yaggh!", and, "Uhm, if you want to be taken seriously, by non-pros, that needs to change, babsy!"

This, below, is a call to the well-equipped professional. You make it clear what you care about is the clothing and equipage, then, the activity, not the woman:
"Love both dominant & sub women, who like dressing sexy, high heels, leather, latex, gags, hoods, and know how to have fun by making their man beg for more."

If you want a woman, appeal to the woman. What you are appealing to, in your profile, is yourself, your own flesh, your own brain. It all sounds very selfish, and, very, very oriented on nothing but sex and kink. That's a very vanilla attitude, and, people who are mostly vanilla but want to experience bdsm stuffies are better off just going to see a pro, anyway. At least, it's better for those of us who want something real.

BDSM is not about outfits, titles, sex, or, fetishes. I know it's hard to tell, considering, but, it really is not. It's about knowing yourself, knowing the people who surround you, and, acting toward your true nature, rather than hiding it away and denying it, but, in a manner that is safe, sane, and, consensual. It is about strategically seeking what you need out of life, without harming others.And, it is about connecting to people in a deep and meaningful manner, without it, necessarily, having to be about being blood related or about a romantic passion.

Most people forget ALL of that, if they've ever even learned it, and, just focus on fleshly shenanigans. In which case, as I said before, it is better if they just seek a pro, anyway, so they can get exactly what they want, and, leave bdsm to the people who are willing to put in the effort to know and show themselves.

< Message edited by RqrCompanionS -- 7/22/2011 2:23:06 AM >

(in reply to tassy3)

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Post #: 14

RE: Seeking - 7/23/2011 7:26:51 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Go to a munch. I promise you that every person you meet there is a genuine human being.

Indeed, try this approach ..

And don't give up after one time!

If you can afford it, travel too! There are a number of Domme groups around the country and hemisphere ..

you never know ... where the most wonderful right person is!

Just do it!

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 15

RE: Seeking - 7/24/2011 10:28:44 AM

LuisFilipe49pt

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline

Is there any Mistress/Goddess/Princess that would like to rape all my money from my wallet? (I really mean all my money)

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

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Post #: 16

RE: Seeking - 7/24/2011 12:25:56 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuisFilipe49pt

Is there any Mistress/Goddess/Princess that would like to rape all my money from my wallet? (I really mean all my money)

My usual response:

www.wolford.com clothes S or XS, stockings S please

yet oddly enough nobody ever does or puts their money where their mouth is

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LuisFilipe49pt)

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Post #: 17

RE: Seeking - 7/24/2011 3:12:57 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Hat size XXXL?

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Post #: 18

RE: Seeking - 7/24/2011 3:15:49 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Hat size XXXL?

LOL, Princess Peon needs new hats?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PeonForHer)

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Post #: 19

RE: Seeking - 7/24/2011 3:16:50 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

C'mere, peon. I've got a "hat" for you.

(Sue Me. I'm in a mood.)

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

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Post #: 20