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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:05:22 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Greetings Master Jedi,

First, if it pleases You, an offer to You of warmest regard and a heart-felt welcome to the Collarme forums.

Your profile is amazing and there is much of trembling flesh about as these words are typed to You. You have yet to hear from a slave on this issue and with all due respect to the dominants who have already responded it is quite obvious They are jealous of Your supreme magnificent self. It is with regret and most unfortunate that such lowly flesh as responds now to Your posting has been taken by a lessor dominant but were this useless object, worthy only of contempt and scorn .. were it free, Yours is the sort of profile which would attract this vile meat if only these unworthy hands could type to You the words required to give everything into Your most exalted care.

With humble regard,

zero without You







Bita, you do realize you just encouraged him, don't you? The OP's already living in la-la land...I fear he'll think you're serious.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:07:22 PM   
SweetShySubgirl


Posts: 64
Joined: 6/15/2011
Status: offline 		It's sorta like a train wreck, I want to see this profile and I know once I do I'm really gonna regret it.

What's a girl to do?


But anyways, welcome OP. Hopefully you'll take some of the profile advice to heart.

I mean really, really, really, really, really think about taking some of the advice offered.

< Message edited by SweetShySubgirl -- 7/21/2011 11:09:07 PM >

_____________________________

Formerly YBS

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:08:12 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		go... read.. laugh...

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to SweetShySubgirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:08:43 PM   
DarthVaderOfLove


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/17/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarthVaderOfLove

I have a silly Star Wars name, but had a lot of fun earning it from a charming young geekette a few years back.  And in defense of Star Wars nerds, I'd like to say that  I personally think those Princess Leia metal bikinis are freakin' pretty cool.  However any Star Wars geek worth his salt would have taken a Sith or Imperial name, Jedi typical don't go around using that mind trick thing to impregnate people.  I'm too inexperienced to fully grasp how dumb this is, in the BDSM community, but I can tell you that the Star Wars geek community would likely have his head on a pole, out front, as a warning to those who may follow.


::jumps in front of Master Jedi in an act of surpreme self-sacrifice::

Ack!! The Dark Side!! Stay away from the Chosen One you vile arbiter of evil!
Back off, man.  Me and that guy are bringing balance to the galaxy.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:17:15 PM   
SweetShySubgirl


Posts: 64
Joined: 6/15/2011
Status: offline 		I had no idea that the galaxy wasn't in balance. Hmmm, the things you learn....

And the profile: major swoonage. I hope he picks my CMail from the hundreds of CMails in his inbox (it's only been a day, so it can't be thousands yet...maybe tomorrow it will be, good thing I got mine in early).

Seriously, heed the advice of Lance and Steven. They know their shit. Accept the advice gratefully and USE IT!

< Message edited by SweetShySubgirl -- 7/21/2011 11:19:35 PM >

_____________________________

Formerly YBS

(in reply to DarthVaderOfLove)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:26:33 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt




Bita, you do realize you just encouraged him, don't you? The OP's already living in la-la land...I fear he'll think you're serious.


I am serious! Changing his profile is the last thing which should be encouraged. He has put forth himself, his truth as he sees it. Berating him or belittling his profile or words to that effect may cause him to rethink his ways and present, instead something less than authentic, perhaps to fool some unsuspecting newbie into getting into a situation far beyond her ability to handle. Better it remains untouched for all to see his truth and then folks can make a sound decision on whether or not such a person appeals to them and if they do.. and they find their bliss together, more power to them.

Besides.. I scared Lance.. that was an unexpected perk and one that no one can ever take away from me.. that's gotta be worth at least a cookie!






_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:44:09 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

go... read.. laugh...

Just put your beverage wayyyyyy across the room when you do.  Snorts are fun, but not when it's like diet pepsi through the nose.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:48:49 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		To be honest, I thought his profile was a piss-take.

I totally believed that it was a forum regular making a sock account to mock the weal and twue uber-domly-ones.

I'm stunned to find that it's real. That inside someone's head, this stuff ACTUALLY makes sense.

You live and you learn, eh?

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:57:23 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I am serious! Changing his profile is the last thing which should be encouraged. He has put forth himself, his truth as he sees it. Berating him or belittling his profile or words to that effect may cause him to rethink his ways and present, instead something less than authentic, perhaps to fool some unsuspecting newbie into getting into a situation far beyond her ability to handle. Better it remains untouched for all to see his truth and then folks can make a sound decision on whether or not such a person appeals to them and if they do.. and they find their bliss together, more power to them.



Naaaah...pre-emptive strike here. If he isn't sorted out early on he'll be taking up bandwidth down the road in Ask A Master or General BDSM whining that he can't understand why no one but scammers reply to his profile.


< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 7/22/2011 12:03:32 AM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:59:58 PM   
SweetShySubgirl


Posts: 64
Joined: 6/15/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


I am serious! Changing his profile is the last thing which should be encouraged. He has put forth himself, his truth as he sees it. Berating him or belittling his profile or words to that effect may cause him to rethink his ways and present, instead something less than authentic, perhaps to fool some unsuspecting newbie into getting into a situation far beyond her ability to handle. Better it remains untouched for all to see his truth and then folks can make a sound decision on whether or not such a person appeals to them and if they do.. and they find their bliss together, more power to them.

Besides.. I scared Lance.. that was an unexpected perk and one that no one can ever take away from me.. that's gotta be worth at least a cookie!




Okay that makes sense.

And, all I've got is rice cakes to offer, no cookies.



_____________________________

Formerly YBS

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 4:35:11 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetShySubgirl

It's sorta like a train wreck, I want to see this profile and I know once I do I'm really gonna regret it.

What's a girl to do?


But anyways, welcome OP. Hopefully you'll take some of the profile advice to heart.

I mean really, really, really, really, really think about taking some of the advice offered.


I looked at it and had to run to the toilet, I almost didn't make it and nearly peed my pants! And I only got this far

quote:

Only one who has mastered himself can master another. Your master is called a Jedi by others because he stands part from normal men.


Which part would that be? A master made of spare parts, how cool is that?

I'm frightened to go back and read more, I don't have Jedi bladder control....

If that was a piss take it's superb, if it's real, I can't wait to see more postings, this is going to be even more amusing!


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SweetShySubgirl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 5:01:41 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Basically you've written THE classic "porn profile." Oh, porn for YOU! Includes the "breed me a son" bit. :::SIGH:::


Is the "breed me a son" part of classic porn? I was finding the profile very silly until I stumbled across that bit. Not sure why I find it so disturbing.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 5:06:27 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Basically you've written THE classic "porn profile." Oh, porn for YOU! Includes the "breed me a son" bit. :::SIGH:::


Is the "breed me a son" part of classic porn? I was finding the profile very silly until I stumbled across that bit. Not sure why I find it so disturbing.



It actually made me think of European royalty a few hundred years ago.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 5:10:15 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		You guys are making fun of the master jedi title. But you also forgot about the "true " in front of it.. Because there are also tons of "fakemasterjedi" here on CM. Take note, inferior humans!!

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 5:17:42 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Greetings Master Jedi,

First, if it pleases You, an offer to You of warmest regard and a heart-felt welcome to the Collarme forums.

Your profile is amazing and there is much of trembling flesh about as these words are typed to You. You have yet to hear from a slave on this issue and with all due respect to the dominants who have already responded it is quite obvious They are jealous of Your supreme magnificent self. It is with regret and most unfortunate that such lowly flesh as responds now to Your posting has been taken by a lessor dominant but were this useless object, worthy only of contempt and scorn .. were it free, Yours is the sort of profile which would attract this vile meat if only these unworthy hands could type to You the words required to give everything into Your most exalted care.

With humble regard,

zero without You






Nothing you said here is real and true b/c you failed to nadu while you said it !! What kind of real true groveling slave *are* you?

You don't deserve him. He's MINE !!


_____________________________



(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 5:22:00 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


It actually made me think of European royalty a few hundred years ago.



Henry VIII, breeding the old goat a daughter had rather drastic results....

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 5:37:10 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		"Only a master can create another master."

This one touches on philosophy.  If so, then how was the FIRST master created? 


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 5:40:39 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

"Only a master can create another master."

This one touches on philosophy.  If so, then how was the FIRST master created? 



A lot of masturbation and hoping the seed took root somewhere?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 5:44:45 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		"He is completely in control of his power, it can be whatever he wants it to be: overwhelming, cleverly disguised as charm, or undetectable through subtlety. He wields his power with skill that appears to others as ease. He laughs at other men who pretend to be masters."

Dudes, you have fallen for the Jedi Masters undetectable subtlety.
*Suckers* :-)


(Edited to add that its awfully fun that DarthVaderoflove fits so neatly into the rhyming meter for Billy Idol's (Rock the)Cradle of Love...)


< Message edited by Kana -- 7/22/2011 5:49:27 AM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/22/2011 5:50:37 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

"Only a master can create another master."

This one touches on philosophy.  If so, then how was the FIRST master created? 



Oh shesh DS. God's son came down and mated with the first ever slave, Mary, and then your tribe killed him. Keep up dude, you are not going to get to the top of the line being so slow.

Now, where's that sammich ??


_____________________________



(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 40
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