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Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 4:53:32 PM

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/15/2011
From: Phillipsburg, NJ
Status: offline

Im asking other submissives this question. Doms can answer to but Im mostly directing this to the other subs to any that read this.

Why do you submit?

Im new to the BDSM community and Im trying to find my place. Id like to believe Im submissive myself but I dont know what it means to me to be one. Im trying to find the meaning behind it so I can be considered a real submissive.

What do I need to know so that I can show myself and others I'm capable?

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 4:56:37 PM

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Why do you submit?

In the past, because I was given a choice. Submit or walk. I wanted him too much to walk away.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 6:54:29 PM

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
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Because it is natural for me to do. That is not to say that I submit to everybody, but I do submit to most of the people in my life, at least to some degree.

Word of advice: Don't think of yourself as a "true submissive". There is no such thing. You either submit or you don't. The depth of your submission will depend a lot upon the Dominant.

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 6:58:17 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

because he's a dominant personality, he's smarter than me, better at leading, because I'm a submissive personality, because it's how I was raised and what I'm comfortable with. Take your pick.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to erieangel)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 7:10:18 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

Because it's in my nature to do so, because he makes it safe to do so.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 7:25:52 PM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Good question.

I'm a switch, and have submitted to very few in my life. Those times I have, it just came naturally.

For me, giving up responsibility to someone else helps balance my goal oriented, perfectionist, Type A personality. It makes me a more well rounded human being, b/c he helps me to relax and enjoy the simple things in life.

This may sound odd, but submitting to him is *freeing* to me in a way I'm not sure I can describe. I just know I really like the feeling, and it makes me a better person.

_____________________________

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 8:11:06 PM

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Joined: 7/18/2011
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I certainly don't have a submissive personality when it comes to people other than my Master. I'm very sharp-tongued, opinionated, and blunt, and because of this it would be difficult for most people I encounter to see that I do have a submissive side. It's something that they will probably never see, and if they do it would be from watching me interact with my Master.

I submit to him because he evokes those feelings in me. He's a natural leader and a strong man. I love him dearly, and I want to please him. Put that together with my mild belief that in relationships, the men are supposed to be in charge (not knocking relationships where this is not the case, of course--I'm not dumb enough to try and cram that opinion down anybody's throat) and you get my submission. I feel that it is my duty to serve and please him, as his girl and as his pet. I enjoy feeling the security of his control, power, and responsibility over my being. It's comforting to know someone is there to take care of and lead me. This nature might be intrinsic to me as a person, but it is only awakened in the proper circumstances. There are not many (if any at all) others that I think can make me feel like this. But for our relationship, it just comes naturally--Master is Master, and that's how I feel about him.

< Message edited by RaspberryLemon -- 7/29/2011 8:13:14 PM >

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 8:16:39 PM

Posts: 160
Status: offline

I submit probably because Ive desired to submit since i was.... very young.
Also my Dom loves me a lot and I love him, and seeing him happy fills me with such joy. I get so happy for him that I do my best to make him feel good.

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 8:23:43 PM

Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

I submit because deep down inside that is what I want to do. It's not always easy. However, submission is natural.

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 8:48:59 PM

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlekitten1

...my Dom loves me a lot and I love him

So what's the difference between loving you and loving you a lot?!! And don't say, "about 4 inches".

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It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to littlekitten1)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 8:51:37 PM

Posts: 3991
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

because he's a dominant personality, he's smarter than me, better at leading, because I'm a submissive personality, because it's how I was raised and what I'm comfortable with. Take your pick.

Fuck, I love your posts!!!

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 9:47:36 PM

Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

because he's a dominant personality, he's smarter than me, better at leading, because I'm a submissive personality, because it's how I was raised and what I'm comfortable with. Take your pick.

Fuck, I love your posts!!!

I try

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 7/29/2011 9:48:06 PM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/29/2011 11:12:27 PM

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

Because it's who I am ... because it make me a better me ... and what littlewonder and peppermint said too.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/30/2011 2:45:16 AM

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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I am both Domme and sub ... so there is a genuine choice operating as to whom i choose to submit to. I first found bdsm through My Dominant side, I am a natural leader and teacher so that wasn't difficult. But very early on i recognised a craving in me to submit also, to, for once, give up the mantle of leadership and find the freedom of obedience. And i love it. Paradise is having Master to submit to and allow Him to lead ... and having a sub of My own who will find the same joy and freedom in submitting to My leadership. Still waiting on the second part!

Ma'am Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to kallisto)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/30/2011 2:47:39 AM

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I submit because I don't want to do anything else.

It makes me feel good inside...happy and content.

I submit to Master because I can't conceive of doing it any other way. It makes him happy, it makes me happy - what more could I want?

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to MaamJay)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/30/2011 6:28:44 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Because he makes great decisions with a lot less angst than I do. It's a win/win situation for me. I do occasionally still feel a little guilty that he's doing all the hard work but he reminds me yet again that to him it's natural, not work.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to myotherself)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/30/2011 6:44:26 AM

Kana

Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbyRaptor

Im asking other submissives this question. Doms can answer to but Im mostly directing this to the other subs to any that read this.

Why do you submit?

Im new to the BDSM community and Im trying to find my place. Id like to believe Im submissive myself but I dont know what it means to me to be one. Im trying to find the meaning behind it so I can be considered a real submissive.

What do I need to know so that I can show myself and others I'm capable?

She submits, and I rule, because that's who we are.
It ain't a roll we play, it's not a game, it's an extension of who and what we are as people.

"This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, ain't no fooling around..."

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/30/2011 8:46:38 AM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbyRaptor
Why do you submit?

I can answer this accurately on Carol's behalf. She submits because it is her nature to follow rather than lead. She submits as deeply as she does to me because she loves me enough that whatever hassle is involved in obedience doesn't seem like that big a deal to her.

Im new to the BDSM community and Im trying to find my place. Id like to believe Im submissive myself but I dont know what it means to me to be one. Im trying to find the meaning behind it so I can be considered a real submissive.
Give it up. Your meaning will be your own -- as is Carol's -- as is everyone else's. The effort to be a "real submissive" is one of the surest signs that you haven't figured it all out yet. How about you be a "real you"?

What do I need to know so that I can show myself and others I'm capable?
Capable? Capable of what? If you want to show that you are capable of obeying, then obey. If you want to show that you are capable of taking a whipping, then get whipped. Depending on what you mean by "submissive" you'll need to demonstrate different things. But there is no "general" mindset or any such thing you can demonstrate -- particularly because different dominants ALSO mean very different things when they say "dominant" and "submissive".

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/30/2011 8:53:40 AM

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

As others have said, there is no single answer to this question as submission is a spectrum as opposed to a finite point.

I'm not a 24/7 person and am not in a relationship that is 24/7 BDSM, we have a LOT of vanilla time together. I also enjoy pleasing her and I am a masochist. She's enjoys her Domme side and is a bit of a sadist. I submit because it meets both of our needs and gives both of us a special closeness that can't be put into words.

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Why do you Submit? - 7/30/2011 9:32:16 AM

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline

What can you do to show you are capable?

Learn, grow, listen to the opinions of others but know that those opinions may not fit into what you want and need. Yes, submissives have desires and needs too. Remember, you are a person first, a submissive second. Decide what you want out of a relationship and then search for a dominant who wants similar things. And settle for nothing less.

(in reply to Muttling)

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