Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (Full Version)

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softscreams -> Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (7/30/2011 10:08:44 PM)

My Master and I have discussed having a girlfriend for a long time and have had one 3some... But now with him working more it really is time for us to find our girlfriend.. As she will be more for me than for him and for that reason he has put me in charge of finding her... and I really need advice on how to find her. I have been to every gay bar and messaged every girl I felt attracted to in a 2hr radius from where I live..but I still haven't found her..Ive had a few bites from some vanilla girls but I am at a lost as to how to explain our relationship to a vanilla girl without running her off. I am a switch. I have never owned a female before only males. It is a road I've always wanted to venture down...but now that the opportunity is here.. I'm a little lost on where to go and definetly need some directions. I've never had to look for a male sub...Finding a female submissive or atleast a vanilla girl whose ok with our relationship has been so much harder.. Am I doing something wrong?..or is it just harder to find females vs males?...xoxo



LanceHughes -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (7/30/2011 10:13:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: softscreams
<snipped>..or is it just harder to find females vs males?...xoxo

^^^ THIS ^^^



littlewonder -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (7/30/2011 10:38:46 PM)

you're hunting the mythical unicorn. Check out the poly forum for more info.




IrishMist -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (7/30/2011 10:40:43 PM)

quote:

But now with him working more it really is time for us to find our girlfriend.

From the sounds of things, you only want one because you are bored. Not a good reason to be finding a third to share your life with; it's more like a recipe for disaster all around.



softscreams -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (7/30/2011 11:09:07 PM)

Oh god no... my master is and pardon my french the most f*ck*ng amazing man I know...I am content with him and him alone. He has given me the best relationship I've ever had and I've never been bored by him ever. I used to work as a dominarix. It was something I enjoyed...but I enjoy submitting to him more. He was not comfortable with me owning men so we agreed from the very start of our relationship that when the time was right I would find a girl. I can't discuss his job...but what I can say is the divorce rate is high. The girl will be for both master and I He enjoys the excitement of it and I have a companion play toy when hes away.. I don't expect you to undersand it... it's what works for us and is a mutual choice that has been discussed for almost 2years now and in no way shape or form ever occured from boredom....xoxo



softscreams -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (7/30/2011 11:11:24 PM)

Thank you littlewonder...I shall venture into the polyforum...xoxo



0ldhen -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (7/31/2011 5:24:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: softscreams

But now with him working more it really is time for us to find our girlfriend



Welllll....any female with enough sense to read your forum posts is going to feel reall important after reading the above.

There are folks who've been looking for a 3rd female for years.......figure on it taking a lonnggg time.

Be very clear about what you are offering...and what you are not.......

Even then expect many disasters before finding the right match.....



DarkSteven -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (7/31/2011 6:06:46 AM)

1. Yes, it is harder to get a woman than a man.
2. You're not looking for a girl for you.  You're looking for a girl that is willing to have a relationship with BOTH of you,and to accept that she'll never be more then the third.
3. I wouldn't bother with a vanilla.  She'd have to accept BOTH your kink AND your poly.



LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (7/31/2011 9:59:27 AM)

My former Owners had looked for several years before we found each other. They had owned one other before me & it ended due to geography. I hadn't even thought that I would find such a wonderful match with 2 people who loved each other. Finding a woman with whom you both can have a relationship is very difficult. To me, the whole thing seemed quite magical. It's very hard to find another person who I could love & who would love me back just as much; finding *two* other people & all three of us loving each other that much was a fuckin miracle. Plan on spending a few years on your search.



softscreams -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/3/2011 12:11:22 PM)

If nothing else.. It does make me feel better knowing I am not alone in my search. Master said to hold off for now..Not totally sure why.. I was getting a little depressed every time a girl stood me up. I suppose I was rushing..I think I was excited about finally being ready and allowed to look for her..I'll know when I find her and I need to be patient.. Also your right about the vanilla girls it is to much... Thank you again for all of the comments..I really do appreciate it...xoxo



gunner1310 -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/3/2011 12:46:57 PM)

I have been in the life style since 79 ' is is so so hard to find and maintain a Poly,,,,,,,, did i say hard ,,, that was an understatement ,,,
Live well , play hard
Gunner



HannahLynHeather -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/3/2011 1:33:27 PM)

oh fuck, this is just to fucking obvious.

you want to find a girlfriend?
https://encrypted.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&source=hp&q=gay+bar+charlston+nc&pbx=1&oq=gay+bar+charlston+nc&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=35l1436l1l2386l5l5l0l0l0l0l0l0ll0l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=661c0b1152c259b4&biw=1000&bih=600



SirDonOhio -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/3/2011 2:58:03 PM)

We are in the identical situation.

Besides being a bit frustrated by the $$ sluts in CM, it still can be done.

When possible go EVERYWHERE as a couple, if she sees the 2 of you happy she may be more willing to try a 3-some. And certainly she may feel freer to start a conversation.

Especially go to muches and other lifestyle events where there could be a single woman--or more likely 2 women checking things out and using the extra for 'protection.'




softscreams -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/3/2011 7:01:14 PM)

Thanks HannahLynHeather I've been hitting the local gay bars...Lesbians are definetly out because they would have to be willing to have sex with him too...but occasionally you can find some Bi girls there too..

The Munch scene had kind of died here...But I will try and get back into that... Those meetings are always fun regardless.

*there is also another loop... Because of his job he can not go to the munches or gay bars..I'm not allowed to say what he does for a living to the girl until the relationship were to get serious and sometimes he is gone for a whole month at a time... There were a lot of things I wasn't allowed to know about him at first that I could see a sub having a hard time understanding..xoxo



HannahLynHeather -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/3/2011 7:52:44 PM)

quote:

but occasionally you can find some Bi girls there too..
i don't know about sc, but here about 25% are fucking gay. 60% bi, and the other 15% there to be daring



orchid77 -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/3/2011 8:18:56 PM)

You could join some poly sites online. Although they are polygmous sites...many couples into polyamory...go to these sites. You need to be real clear what you're looking for and make sure it is all spelled out in your profile. Read other people's profile before making contact...I don't know how many times I have gotten emails from individuals who are polyamory when it is clear in my profile I am not looking for that. It can also get you flagged and removed, but it is a good place to start...and I would suggest thinking about how long you wish to court. Good luck.




softscreams -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/4/2011 9:55:47 PM)

***The gay bar's are not so good here... But the drag shows are a lot of fun to watch.

***I'd never thought to check those websites...Thank You for the advice I very much appreciate it...xoxo



Buzzzz -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/6/2011 7:55:56 AM)

welcome to the world of "finding a girl". Been there for years!!! only thing is that you have to find one for you and him (twice more difficult).

Just so you know, it very much sounds like he is using you to find a piece of ass. You stated he is inconfortable you with another man. I do not see what is so poly about that. You were an ex prodomme and had no problem finding male subs. I suggest you look for one (just my honest opinion).



softscreams -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/6/2011 8:57:40 PM)

Thanks Buzz for the advice.. I don't think he is using me for a peice of ass.. Its been a mutual agreement since the start of our relationship... One day I may go back to having submissive males.. for him it was a bad experience with an ex that has made him uncomfortable with it..He's a smart man..I think he will work through that in his own time..I however have never had a submissive female before so I honestly want to venture down that path regardless...xoxo



Buzzzz -> RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? (8/7/2011 11:06:23 AM)

well then, go for it. only thing is that you are looking for the unicorn. If only physical play, you can go to your local dungeon and meet some local perverts. you should be able to find a female girl willing to play with you in public.



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