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Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 4:22:43 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Like most women, i have a string of Men who have contacted me, and who will "drop in" from time to time.  Generally, if it's been awhile, i don't remember Them, and this really offends some Men. 
 
So first, may i ask: do other submissives need some sort of regular contact to sustain an interest as i do?
 
And second, may i ask, why are some Men so offended that They have not been memorable when They have only made a single contact weeks before?
 
(Obviously i do not mean to generalise.)
 
candystripper
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 4:36:49 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		yes to the first question you asked, i need some sort of consistant contact to sustain an interest and i have no answer to your second question other than maybe ego, everyone wants to think that they are memorable. Or maybe you are just so memorable and they have been thinking so much about you that they can't imagine that you have not been doing the same about them (grinning).

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 4:58:31 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		I am trying to find a female playmate and have several people on my MSN from a personals site who I have only briefly chatted with, and now can't remember who they are I guess it's time to go through my contacts and delete those who haven't been online for weeks

I have MSN on when I'm online and can't understand why they give me their email etc and then never seem to be online.....I am about ready to throw in the towel.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 5:01:47 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		I think that is simply natural for anyone not simply submissives.
 
I know if I speak with someone once or twice weeks later I may not remember. *laughs* Though if they leave a lasting impression I may.
 
For me if this is someone approaching me about becoming my submissive/slave I realistically wont take them serious if they only pop in once in a blue moon.
 
Once a relationship of any kind friendship or otherwise is established it is not such a big deal. Life happens sometimes.
 
I know for me personally when I am working 10-12 hour shifts most people don't hear from me.


< Message edited by Phoenixandnika -- 5/19/2006 5:02:49 AM >

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 5:05:11 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
*laughs*
 
I am always cleaning off our MSN list.
I typically will email everyone on it tell them I am going to be cleaning it off and if they want to stay on to contact me.
If they don't I simply delete their names but do not block them that way if they do try and contact me they can.
 

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to Rayne58)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 5:10:34 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, consistent contact is highly important to retaining my interest and yes, I will forget who you are if you don't maintain the contact.

I'm persnickety and old, dammit.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 5:16:54 AM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		I've offended quite a few slaves by not remembering them -several- weeks down the road...after maybe only briefly chatting with them for a few minutes. On the same note, I don't expect by any means for a girl to simply ''remember" Me, just because I said hi to her or sent one or two emails.... I find that I have to be extraordinary in that initial contact for Me to leave such a lasting impression, and I expect the same of them... otherwise its just another blip on the screen. For some reason, most do remember Me, if simply because of name recognition... and I'll get a pm on occasion from a girl asking how I've been or some such thing... to which I'll usually be polite, and hate having to ask "oh, by the way, who the HELL are you??"
I would say don't fret over it, if they didn't catch your eye the first time or two around, they probably deserve to be insecure and get indignant if you don't remember them.

T.R.

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 5:23:30 AM   
slaveladyj


Posts: 161
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		I have asked a few men to refresh my memory on who they are, when they contact me on yahoo. If they take offense they have wisely not shown it to me.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 6:09:18 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I definately need constant contact or regular at least. When you are having upwards of 15 messages a day it is very hard to remember all those who have contacted you. The only time i remember someone is if they have made a big impression for whatever reason.

I think it may be an ego thing that they get offended and when sum1 has been offended with me i have told them that due to the amount of messages we recieve i cant remember everyone. I get the impression that the men on here dont seem to recieve as many messages as the women so find it  a lot easier to remember those who have mailed them. 


_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 6:16:41 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		They just want to make you feel bad so you'll be off kilter and more likely to forgive them for not keeping in touch.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 7:23:38 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Good point LA

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 8:43:21 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		I will confess, if someone doesn't keep in semi-regular contact or I was not really interested, they slip my mind. I actually had a spread-sheet that I came up with at one point, it had real names, screen names, age, height, where they lived, phone number [if I had that], if they kids, if so how many, and a few other 'things' in case I needed to jar my memory. It worked great for a few years.

Their are more men looking than their are women, so we have to remember more names and info than they do, they cannot expect us to remember every person that emails us. If they are memorable for whatever reason, then we will remember.

Men get offened because they forget that you are meialed by more than a few men and it's a 'competition' thing for the most part as far as I know. I asked my guy friends and they just tell me its a 'guy thing.' Guys don't liek competition and if you don't remember them, that means that thier IS competition.

< Message edited by slaverosebeauty -- 5/19/2006 8:45:04 AM >

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/19/2006 8:50:39 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I tell it like it is if i did not remember someone i would say to them who are you again refresh my memory.  If they got offended so be it if they wanted me to remember them they should have kept in contact.  Now that i have my Master and changed my profile i don't get any mail  so make it really easy  no one to remember.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/20/2006 12:22:15 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline 		I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who gets "heat" for not remembering.  Some really get angry.  Whether is here or in real life, if you haven't heard from someone in months, how could they be so arrogant to think I would remember? 

I always hear, "remember we talked about his or that?  I can't believe you don't remember me...."

honey, I am here talking to potential slaves...in the first emails the conversations are roughly along the same lines.  You think you are so special because you deemed to send one email three months ago?

If I contact someone, and it's been a while, I first try to refresh their memory, and offer a small apology as to why I haven't been in contact, and move on from there.  I never approach them like we are old buds that have been talking on a daily basis. 

Honestly, if someone has and ego that large, I don't think they would be the slave for me in the first place.

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/20/2006 1:15:53 PM   
SpankMuhButt


Posts: 1416
Joined: 1/4/2006
Status: offline 		I get a kick out of the ones who contact you once  then when you say you have found someone they tell you to keep them in mind if it doesnt workout and that they would like to stay in contact (i hardly ever IM anyone, including my best friends,its just how i am and those who know me know this is just how I am i very rarely make phone calls either, one of my worst traits but I hate the phone lol) anyway then months later they IM you out of the blue and ask if you are interested yet.......ummmm we spoke once....dont even remember who the hell you are, no im not interested!

_____________________________

If you had one shot, one opportunity, To seize everything you ever wanted, One moment, Would you capture it or just let it slip?

gina

(in reply to TxBlkMistress)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/20/2006 1:17:57 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		What is even more rediculous is if they have a different screen name for everything. So you would have to remember their nickname on the website, a different one for msn, a different one for email etc 

(in reply to TxBlkMistress)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/20/2006 2:07:54 PM   
darq


Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline 		Oh ... I'm like that.

_____________________________

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts ...
Tell me, whats so amazing about really deep thoughts?

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.

(in reply to kisshou)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/20/2006 7:03:01 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		LOL..oh my yes..I too was driven to have a spread sheet with info written upon it.Then as time goes by the names generally were crossed out..and of course once that was done and sheet was thrown out..then and only then was I contacted again by one  or two of those persons on the sheet!..grrr..I finally just gave up, if they did not keep in contact why should I attempt to remember them?And I also have to agree with kisshou..when you are given so many other s/n on either yahoo or whatever, keeping track is almost an impossibility..I usually try to just encourage them to e-mail me on collarme..much more easier for this old brain..and why go to another e-mail address when basically I have no intention of IMming..if you wish to get to know me then e-mail is good,,then I generally prefer to just go to phone and progress from there..be well...Tempting

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/20/2006 7:14:05 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline 		Oh I hear you on that one Spank....  I feel like you do with the IM's...but I am a phone person..lol

I think it's very disrespectful to say "keep me in mind if that doesn't work out"  Like that are expecting it.  I would think it would be much better to just congratulate a person, and keep in touch as a friend.  I would be more likely to choose this person.

I had one that hounded me about every other week asking me if I was still with a slave I was considering.   But before that he'd only sent some "one liner" email twice before and months apart.

People just kill me sometimes....LOL

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to SpankMuhButt)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Maintaining Contact - 5/20/2006 7:16:17 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline 		omg kisshou...now how did I forget about that one???   LOL

I have one that contacts me like every few months and he always has a different screen name.  I've never seen the same one twice....and what kills me, is he still get's mad because I don't remember exactly what he said in his last email....months before...LOL

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to kisshou)
Profile   Post #: 20
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