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Dominant ? - 8/15/2011 1:40:19 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		No.

< Message edited by Termyn8or -- 8/15/2011 2:21:44 AM >
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/15/2011 1:46:08 AM   
TheShrew


Posts: 519
Joined: 2/15/2009
From: The state I live in? Confusion.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or
But really, I think dominants need to experience what they do to subs, many of us agree on that,
T^T

I think it is awesome that you hold that belief. Sadly, I suspect too few agree with you.

ETA .. I don't feel it makes you less Dominant.


< Message edited by TheShrew -- 8/15/2011 1:47:53 AM >

_____________________________

.. and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music ..

Snark ~ Just another free service I generously provide.

(in reply to Termyn8or)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/15/2011 2:25:47 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		You caught me Shrew.

You see what happened. What's more I had cuffs and almost lost the keys.

Damn, maybe I could just unedit that........

Oh fuckit. But that gag is a trip. When I get that on soeone, HAHAHAHAHA. But the thing is really that I know EXACTLY what it feels like.

Ya, I shouldn't've edited the op. Sorry.

T^T

(in reply to TheShrew)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/15/2011 8:41:13 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheShrew

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or
But really, I think dominants need to experience what they do to subs, many of us agree on that,
T^T

I think it is awesome that you hold that belief. Sadly, I suspect too few agree with you.

ETA .. I don't feel it makes you less Dominant.



I know a few Dominants who do believe in that concept and know many who don't. Personally, if their experiences have made them a better person as well as a better dominant then the end result is more important.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to TheShrew)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/15/2011 9:22:29 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		hey if switching or experiencing switching to the other side helps you sleep better, more power to ya..

Me personally, not my thing and have never been interested in men who do.



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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Dominant ? - 8/15/2011 9:32:56 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i don't think it's really necessary. i think it's illuminating for some people (i'm just answering what's left over of the OP in the quote =p), but for others, well... it's just not anything they need to do.
conversely, you could say that subs needs to experience the other side, too, and there are many who'd disagree there, too.
like i'm not really interested in learning about the D side of things. i just have no drive for it.

but then again, Dominant doesn't necessarily = Top, and what i'm gleaning from the quote and the following responses is that you're talking about gags and cuffs, and things; stuff i generally associate with playing, not necessarily leading, decision-making, etc etc.
to me, Dominance comes across mostly through energy, and how that person compels me to relate to him. that may or may not be affected by what he does when he's playing. it's about imposing your will, whether that's tying someone up, or ordering them to flog you. =p

there are lots of masochistic Dominants, or Dominants who are also bondage bottoms, and there are sadistic submissives, and rope topping slaves, etc etc etc.
not all submissives are mostly oriented to bottoming and masochism. many of us happen to be, but many submissives are switches, too, etc etc etc...

but i'm not going to take points away from a guy whose brand of Dominance really resonates with me because he hasn't experienced life on the s-side of the slash. i just don't think it's necessary.


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/15/2011 9:41:01 AM   
MrRodgers


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Joined: 7/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

No.

No big deal but I am very curious...what could you have possibly edited ?

(in reply to Termyn8or)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/15/2011 11:17:47 PM   
TheShrew


Posts: 519
Joined: 2/15/2009
From: The state I live in? Confusion.
Status: offline 		WOW.. uhmm, no. .."a dominant experiencing what they do to subs".. can be as easy as strapping on a new gag.

For those who lacked the benefit of Termys post .. he did not imply you had to be switch or go sub to be a better/good dom/me. Not even close. His thought was geared towards firsthand knowledge gained via experiencing what subs experience. {He mentioned the specifics just prior, in another thread}

I complimented him because I agreed with him. I do not fault, look down upon or judge any Dominant/submissive who has never pulled a page from the opposing role to have an experience. {Flogger/Floggee .. it's good to know, both ways}  I'm simply saying, "for me", it taught me in a way observing never could .. which allowed me to understand where Termy was coming from.

ETA .. Termy, if you ever post again and I have commented, then you opt to delete .. shoot me an email and I'll be happy to pull the evidence. Props to you, on knowledge gained. Glad you aren't claustrophobic, and didn't lose the keys ... or need to yak.




< Message edited by TheShrew -- 8/15/2011 11:40:49 PM >

_____________________________

.. and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music ..

Snark ~ Just another free service I generously provide.

(in reply to MrRodgers)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/16/2011 10:41:49 PM   
MrSprocket


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/10/2011
From: Cyberspace
Status: offline 		I'm the sort of person who sits on the fence and tries seeing things from all perspectives. I'm not saying that everyone must do so; it's how my mind works.

From my first experience being submissive onward, I have been capable of understanding the feeling of both parties in all manners. I enjoy the psychology relinquishing control and having control relinquished unto myself.

I'm happy to be a switch. I don't know (personally) many that are. If I looked down upon people who never tried the other side, I wouldn't have accepted my first group, and I would have not had the experience I had, which was pretty fun for the vanilla I was.

_____________________________

I am a meat popsicle.

(in reply to TheShrew)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/16/2011 11:00:31 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		absolutely everything i know about being a top and/or a dominant, i learned by being a sub.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dominant ? - 8/17/2011 1:27:12 AM   
TheShrew


Posts: 519
Joined: 2/15/2009
From: The state I live in? Confusion.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrSprocket
I enjoy the psychology relinquishing control and having control relinquished unto myself.

If I looked down upon people who never tried the other side...


I was trying not to toss him under the bus since he opted to delete, but I don't want anyone to think he's negatively judging someone based on a remnant in my reply. He had a toy. He tried out the toy, to have the experience. Then he simply said "it's good to know what we do to them." It wasn't about power exchange or submitting etc Just, getting that firsthand knowledge.

ETA .. Kudos on the Willis reference.


< Message edited by TheShrew -- 8/17/2011 1:29:30 AM >

_____________________________

.. and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music ..

Snark ~ Just another free service I generously provide.

(in reply to MrSprocket)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dominant ? - 8/20/2011 2:53:33 AM   
MyVision


Posts: 102
Joined: 3/30/2011
Status: offline 		Is a heart surgeon a person with a heart problem?

(in reply to TheShrew)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/20/2011 6:18:40 AM   
painslut85


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/18/2011
Status: offline 		A heart surgeon with a heart problem will know first hand what "reduce your salt intake" really means to a patient, how it affects them, and maybe even the uncertainty faced by heart patients.


I would say that knowing what my sub is going through makes it all the more... tantalizing.

May not be the case for everyone, or anyone else for that matter.

(in reply to MyVision)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/20/2011 6:20:16 AM   
MyVision


Posts: 102
Joined: 3/30/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: painslut85

A heart surgeon with a heart problem will know first hand what "reduce your salt intake" really means to a patient, how it affects them, and maybe even the uncertainty faced by heart patients.


I would say that knowing what my sub is going through makes it all the more... tantalizing.

May not be the case for everyone, or anyone else for that matter.




they probably wouldn't let him operate, to big a risk.
Besides that..lots of things can be learned..without being the patient ;)

But indeed..in some cases..it can be good.

< Message edited by MyVision -- 8/20/2011 6:21:19 AM >

(in reply to painslut85)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/20/2011 6:30:55 AM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheShrew
quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or
But really, I think dominants need to experience what they do to subs, many of us agree on that,
T^T

I think it is awesome that you hold that belief. Sadly, I suspect too few agree with you.
ETA .. I don't feel it makes you less Dominant.


I have been with 2 Dominants, one i am positive has never experienced what he had me do or imo he never would have made me do those things, in the end thats what broke us up, and i didnt fully trust him.

The other told me he never did to a sub what he had not experienced himself. Him i respected, him i was crazy about, he turned me on something fierce, and most of all, i trusted him.

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to TheShrew)
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RE: Dominant ? - 8/27/2011 7:22:19 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

absolutely everything i know about being a top and/or a dominant, i learned by being a sub.


Me, too.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to HannahLynHeather)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dominant ? - 8/30/2011 10:02:43 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		FR

Bishop gag w/ phallic plug. Belt with cuffs not attached but under the belt. Feet ankles were not restrained. But that gag is something. The way I tightened it , well,,,,, it was silent.

The key was six feet away. I have done a shitload of selfbondage and this was nothing. I almost got trapped more than once.

But next time I am on top of course I will not abuse it, others have not agreed to the degree of risk that I have. And I have. Twice I have had a problem, once I had to break a medium strength leather strap, another time I had to break a dog chain. After I got sick, I have not recovered completely, yes I feel good but the strength is not there, therefore I will not go that far any more.

I used to be into it heavy, I mean ice block heavy. A house fire would kill me, and I didn't care. I wanted it that much that I will now admit that not only do I want, to know what I can do to others, but I want to know what I can handle myself.

Get the chains out.

T^T

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dominant ? - 8/30/2011 10:16:18 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

absolutely everything i know about being a top and/or a dominant, i learned by being a sub.


Me, too.

I can't say the same.  At least ninety percent (a very conservative estimate) of the topping skills that I have today were taught to Me by other tops.  Florentine flogging, needles, wax, cuttings, fire, cupping, sounds, wand, whips, and branding were all taught to Me by other tops.  The only one that stands out is rope and that was a mix of tops, bottoms, and switches.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dominant ? - 9/17/2011 11:43:18 PM   
Steelslilbit


Posts: 130
Joined: 8/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I can't say the same.  At least ninety percent (a very conservative estimate) of the topping skills that I have today were taught to Me by other tops.  Florentine flogging, needles, wax, cuttings, fire, cupping, sounds, wand, whips, and branding were all taught to Me by other tops.  The only one that stands out is rope and that was a mix of tops, bottoms, and switches.




I miss your Dragon Tongues. ^.^

~op~
I'm in the percentile myself that I learned a lot of what I know from being a sub. But for a petite blonde female, sub's a pretty easy place to learn it all from. ;)

_____________________________

i'll try anything once, twice if i like it.

If you wanna know you better ask, and if i don't want to answer i won't.

Offical Language: Caryn-ese
(Translator available upon request)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dominant ? - 9/18/2011 1:03:03 AM   
Djducati


Posts: 84
Joined: 9/15/2011
Status: offline 		For me I like both experiences,

For me it depends ENTIRELY on the other person.

Some I like to obey me, others I like to obey.

The balance keeps me centered.

(in reply to Steelslilbit)
Profile   Post #: 20
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