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Sort of tossed into situation. - 8/20/2011 8:02:23 PM

Kumatsuki

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/20/2011
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Just recently I was put in a situation that caught me completely off guard. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months now and we've just about everything but sex. Well last night we got hot and heavy and decided to take it to the next level. Well he completely surprised me when presented himself to me as what I would assume as the perfect sub. Begging to be collared and leashed, calling me mistress, asking to be spanked, and asking to spank me. Now I know that he is very verbal when it comes to his pleasure (moaning and groaning) which I love. It turns me on. And when he started begging, I got completely turned on but my problem is that I have absolutely no clue how to be an effective Dominant. I am into BDSM but as a Submissive. Are there any good tips or tricks I can use or behaviors that are typical for a Dom?

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RE: Sort of tossed into situation. - 8/20/2011 8:07:07 PM

Kumatsuki

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Joined: 8/20/2011
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Also what I forgot to put is that I am more than willing to become a Dominant person to please him cause I want to please him.

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RE: Sort of tossed into situation. - 8/20/2011 8:53:30 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
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Oh gosh, there are tons of good threads for the newbie domme around here. Click on the Search link and go to town. You can also look into getting some books on BDSM such as Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns, The Loving Dominant and the Miss Abernathy Omnibus. Most importantly, though, is to decide what you want and then tell him. Let him tell you what he likes too, but don't feel obligated to perform. If you're going to be dominant, at least in the bedroom, then it's about taking charge and doing what you want, when you want. If you want to move outside of the bedroom into a 24/7 authority transfer, that will take a bit more effort.

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RE: Sort of tossed into situation. - 8/20/2011 9:45:38 PM

SweetieinControl

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Joined: 8/20/2011
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Dear Kumatsuki,

Welcome to the other-side of the kneel.

Sylvere gave you some excellent advice. There is plenty of good info out there.
Yes, let him tell you what he likes. Pick things out that you're interested in, include things you like or are curious about.

Be assertive. Make this about your pleasure and what you want. As a submissive, that's something he hungers for. It's kind of cool how it works out that way (^.^)

Enjoy it.

Sincerely,

Sweetie.

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RE: Sort of tossed into situation. - 8/20/2011 9:53:11 PM

Kumatsuki

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Thank you both for the advice and information. I'll check out the books on being Dominant.

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RE: Sort of tossed into situation. - 8/21/2011 12:12:33 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
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quote:

behaviors that are typical for a Dom?

no. just as there is no such thing as a typical fucking domme, there are no typical behaviours. my slave calls me by the cute nickname she gave me, i call her lover and babe. others are always addressed as mistress, or miss such-and-such, or highness. some like ladyp insist on a lot of rules and protocols, others like me have none at all.

so it's whatever the fuck works for you. now you say you're used to being a sub, and you're getting a thrill out of topping - well it sounds like you, like me, are a switch <poor little thing, you're fucked now

>. check out the ask a switch forum as well.

have fun.

oh and check out syl's got philosophy thread

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RE: Sort of tossed into situation. - 8/27/2011 1:11:46 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

Your at the right place. You'll learn lots from Collarme. I know the advice I got from visiting GoddessClub.com ready helped me too when I wanted to become a Mistress. They train males and they tutor Females so you might find them helpful.

Hope this helps.

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RE: Sort of tossed into situation. - 8/27/2011 10:19:48 PM

LPslittleclip

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if there is a local dungon or other group in your locality join and see how others do it observe the difrent kinds of play and see what each of you like this is a journey of discovery and one that will always bring something new to it.

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