How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play?

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How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 8/23/2011 3:52:16 AM

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From: Preston, UK
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Hi , I'm relatively new to switching.

I enjoy the power of restraining my partner down and seeing her reaction to various implements.

The problem is I find my mindset inadvertently switching back, certain triggers set me off all submissive. We're working together on stopping those triggers occurring when I'm domming but it does interrupt the flow of things

Is it something that you overcome with time, or do some of you have certain methods of stopping yourself switching at the wrong moment?

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 8/23/2011 9:51:42 AM

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Hmm... maybe ask your partner to communicate a little better. If she's telling you she likes what you're doing to her then your submissive side will be satisfied knowing she's happy.

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 8/23/2011 3:42:57 PM

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I don't stop, our play is all out war.

For me it's always depending on the partner, and what works for us. There is no right or wrong, there is nothing saying a scene has to be just someone topping and someone bottoming. There's plenty of ground inbetween.

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in

You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to hangemhigh1953)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 8/23/2011 3:48:59 PM

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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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I don't switch with the same person. Daddy is my Dominant only and I'm looking for a different someone to be my submissive and not switch with me.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to sheisreeds)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 8/23/2011 10:22:47 PM

HannahLynHeather

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sorry, can't fucking help you, my mindset doesn't switch, i'm the dominant in this relationship, she's the fucking sub, and it stays that way even when she's beating my ass.

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 8/24/2011 1:27:40 PM

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From: Preston, UK
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Thanks for the thoughts :)

We both veer to the submissive side so a struggle tends to be shortlived lol.

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 8/24/2011 1:42:06 PM

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From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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I am a switch and have had a little bit of "mental gymnastics" to make sure I know where my head is at when I am playing or just romping with my partner. With my ex, he was always in charge, no switching ever took place with us. With my female sub playmates, I have always been in the dominant role and it was never a challenge to make sure I was in the top spot, pretty much because it was just play, no emotional feelings attached. With my male sub, we have a very strong emotional connection, and there have been a few times where I have wanted to slide into a more submissive mindset, and just let him take charge of what we were doing (esp. in bed). However, I have found that I can keep my head in the place it should be (as his dominant half) and still get those other needs met if I tell him exactly what I desire.

For example, if I want to be "taken," I can just tell him that I want that from him because it will make me happy. He does what I want, fulfilling his submissive side, I get to be on the receiving end of what makes my submissive warm fuzzies take root, and both of us are fine. Once those needs are fulfilled, I am more than ready to be the woman who can grab him by the hair and take him the way I want to, or beat him till he's marinating in his own brain juice.

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

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(in reply to SoulAlloy)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 8/25/2011 3:30:50 AM

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From: Preston, UK
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Thanks Daddysredhead, some wonderful thoughts in there :)

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 8/26/2011 7:00:08 PM

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You're welcome, Soul. Best of luck in this new facet of your relationship.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 10/23/2011 7:38:57 PM

DomDommieCouple

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Joined: 10/23/2011
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I too am a Switch and I have the same problem. I want to dominate my husband but when I try I end up submitting. I think it might be something that I will overcome, given time. My husband, who is trying to allow me to dominate him is a pure Dom, so when he says to do something instinctively I do it. It is when I do that that he is trying to help me with. He does it so that I will just continue to take control, but I fail all the time. So I think that it is something that will be overcame, with time. Lots and lots of time.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 10/25/2011 7:36:10 PM

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I find that dressing the part helps me most. When I dress 'bitch', I am THE bitch. For me the attire gets me in the mood, and I go into it completely. Perhaps that could help you.

(in reply to DomDommieCouple)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 10/26/2011 3:25:45 AM

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Enforce yourself with cues to trigger dominant behavior and mindset. Wear a certain set of shoes, or an outfit that makes you feel particularly in-charge and powerful, choose music for the back ground that keeps you in the "I'm going to wrap you around my fingers" mood, and most of all, discuss with your partner what things you really love from them tht makes you feel particularly Dominant. Maybe a phrase, or an action, if you get revved up in top-mode when they beg, tell them that, and they can help push you into that headspace too.

(in reply to TraciTv)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 12/7/2011 3:57:21 PM

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Self-control is key in those moments.

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 12/7/2011 8:06:25 PM

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Not everyone would be into this sort of thing, but why can't it switch mid-play. If there is a really good connection between you and your partner and you can know what mindset your partner is in, why not switch during play? It could be fun, rather a power struggle to see who wins in the end. Competition usually brings people's dominant side out. Just a thought.

(in reply to Steeves1986)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 12/9/2011 7:46:37 AM

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I believe it is important to know yourself. Which means lots and lots of self-reflection. Yes self-control is good but it has to be genuine. The other thing is staying in the moment. In the present. When one can do that you enjoy where you are rather than where you were or wish to be. Good luck.

(in reply to SubRopes)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 12/9/2011 11:04:39 AM

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Well its not something I have done all that often but so far it has been interesting and a fairly easy transition.
Communication is definitely key and working out interests well before helped me work out exactly what I could do to entertain as well as enjoy myself.

I think mindset comes with experience and preparation, maybe it depends on what you want and how you want it.
I had more trouble switching to dominant because I love to see a woman truly enjoy herself and thought sub was a good way to go to achieve that; getting in the mindset of knowing what someone might like definitely helped me keep a dominant mindset focussed and a sub one ready when needed.

(in reply to orchid77)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 12/12/2011 6:21:48 AM

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I don't. That's why nothing lasts very long. I need to find a switch who can adapt in mid play I guess.

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Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

RE: How do you stop your mindset switching mid-play? - 1/13/2012 11:10:29 AM

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Mindset switching mid-play?

Go with it...

dg

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

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