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StrictMaster31 -> RE: Helpful hint to doms (10/22/2004 6:00:46 AM)
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What I've found to be most interesting in my own search and pursuit of BDSM is that when I am able to find a woman that is intelligent and a good communicator, everything seems to come together well. I for one do not believe BDSM should be built upon sex. I do however think that it adds to the success in the relationship for there to be a physical attraction.
However, all of that said, I pursue the one that has the mind that wants to be turned on, and for the very reason that many of the things that can be pursued in BDSM might be things that you can do when not together with your Dom/sub. If the mind is engaged, then to know that during the day for instance you are doing just what you were told by your Dom, that adds to the moment when you finally get to see them. Just as it does for the Dom to see your obedience. Alas, it looks as if I'm going down another alley now though.
I say all this to point out that there are those that just want to get their kicks, their jollies, or think that because they've been mistreated by someone in their life, then to go and "Dominate" someone else will make them a Dom/me. I tire of those that won't take the time to share what they want and how they want it.
Yes, it is up to the Dom in my opinion to make the decision on what is done and when, however, a good submissive I believe will bring their own ideas to the relationship and a good Dom will in turn incorporate them.
This is why I am still searching I suppose. I want not only beauty of the body, but radiance and beauty of the mind.
Just my $.02
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