quote:

ORIGINAL: akame

What a different weekend we had.
i'm calling it our shooting down red flags weekend.
We went on a road trip and had with us our buddy lil miss b.
she volunteered to be a demo girl and was.
Her first demo went wonderful!!!
She even got to go upside down!!!
Her smile was so beautiful! i wish you guys could've seen it!
You could actually see the moment she took of into space, it was so awesome!
you could feel the energy change, her smile went from person to person in the room and gave them some of her magic so they ended up with beautiful smiles as well.
when you put her in ropes, she comes alive inside and lets everyone share in it with her, she is truly a beautiful person in and out of bondage!!!
there's just some special place she takes you to when she is in the ropes and to be there with her smile...it's truly an experiance not to be missed.
 
The Dom that played with her first was a wonderful person too and took all the extra care great Doms take to make sure the experience was awesome for all involved and all watching.
the crowd all loved watching them together and so did we once we got daddy to relax a bit, giggles.
he had even drove down the weekend prior to the event to meet her and us and discuss the limits.
we all 3 liked him and were comfortable with him playing her. 
we could see he was a bit nervous, but, that made us feel better about him.
we knew he would and was trying very hard to make this awesome for all involved.
we knew he would respect her limits and wouldn't keep bothering her about them.
and that was our fair warning #1.
she was doing a needle and suturing demo next and it just didn't work.

the other guy she had agreed to do a demo with kept talking about putting things in her girls spots and she kept telling him no.

 even when we meet at the place he was still trying to talk about putting a suture or needle in her labia and she again, as well as the 2 of us told him no and he knew if he kept it up, we would just say ok forget it, we ain't doing this.  
we mostly feel he was on some huge ego trip because now people are asking him to come do these cutting demo's and actually paying him for his time....so, this wasn't about what he could do for her, this was about how could she make him look good instead of how can we make something so awesome together, the 4 of us, that people will talk about it for years.
he is smack in the middle of "now people are asking me to play so i must be some kind of Domly King God all knowing all powerful Dom!!!"
 
he actually thought this demo was about him instead of us 4 together showing people how to play and do suturing and needle play safely while making sure the bottom and everyone else is enjoying it all too.
bad combo!
the end result let her have some of what she wanted from the scene, she did have some fun spraying the water from the tubing..she especially liked when she sprayed me all down with the cold water, lol.
she loved my jump and the oh man, now i gotta go pee!" she laughed.
we did have some fun there and we do love the building and want to go back to have fun there again.
 
but, we will never ever ler her do anything like this without alot more prep and talk with the person doing the scene.
an actual plan to follow would work best!
we are still not sure he had one other then to try to stick her as many times as possible.

she has taken several more needles and even more sutures then she took that night from people we know.
she's an awesome bottom for this type of play because she truly does just enjoy the play.
her lil moan of pleasure when the needle goes in, and then again when it pops out on the other side is worth all it takes to get her there, truly!!!
and it doesn't take much to get her there, that's why i'm so upset and hurt for her! 
you sit her down, talk to her during the play and she's a real tropper, you can actually stick as many as you want, if you just don't act like she's a pin cushion and you've got to get them all in asap!
 
our fair warnings kept running up the red flags all night and we kept shooting them down. all 3 of us!
 
Just minutes before the scene the guy is still trying to get a needle or suture in her labia after being told several times by her it wasn't going to happen during the week leading up to this event.
when he was finally told, in front of us, by her once more, it wasn't going to happen, the dumbass still looked at the wrong person to comfirm it was true, it wasn't going to happen, he wasn't going to put anything, even his hand near her pussy.
he looked at daddy instead of respecting her enough to simply look her in the eyes and say, ok, sorry, i'm stupid for pushing for this and i apologize for trying it again.
instead, he acted like if he could just talk daddy into it, then of course she would do it.
daddy just looked at him like, "you gotta be the dumbest person here if you think i'm going to talk her into this, i don't even want her to do this scene!"
and, truly, he didn't. we did but he saw alot wrong with the idea from the beginning, one more lesson learned about listening instead of only wanting so much you don't listen.

he didn't like the the idea of the water going through the tubes, he wanted to use saline, he didn't like the pump, what if it gets oil in the water, then you'd have her skin all infected, he thought trying to use 18g needles was too much for the amount they were trying for, he thought the wire was a really bad idea because he was worried about it cutting her skin apart and about it's cleanliness, and he especially didn't like the idea of putting the wire into the sharp end of the needle in low lighting!
(they did put up more for us.)
he really didn't like that there was no drop cloth of any type, if the wire or tubing hit the floor, the guy just kept going, he never once tried to keep the tubing or wires off the floor or even clean.
daddy did, he even wiped the wire with an alcohol pad before he ran it through the needle. he knows just like i do, just because something is new from the package doesn't mean it's sterlized or even close to it.
this guy didn't even bother to hold the needle still while he was pulling the wires through, they were just sliding around uncontrolled in her skin.
i ended up putting on gloves to hold it for him, he just couldn't do both for some reason, even though daddy could.
and the worst thing was the tools the guy had to cut the wires, i swear it looked like he had old shop wire cutters instead of surgical steel cutters.
 i even saw an old paint stain on one of them.
the area wasn't prepped well, his stuff was everywhere and not surgical equipement, i had to go find 2 of his pieces of equipement during the scene, and i was supposed to be holding her hand, rubbing her feet etc... while all of it was going on so with her ok, and i did ask her first, i had to leave her for a few minutes.
i hated doing that! i won't ever do that again, ever!!!
either have it all together or we don't play!
but, to help the people we wished to help, to give our lil buddy her fantasy, and she did want this one BIG TIME!!!
despite all of the fair warnings we all 3 got, we tried to move forward and do the scene.
daddy got out his surgical cutters and equipement and did his best to let her enjoy at least some of her fantasy.
it didn't let her go where we know she can go.
in fact, the scene ended up with her telling the guy what he was doing wrong, how to fix what he was doing, that he was pulling too fast and burning her, he was making it all too tight, and him telling her it wasn't burning, that because it was a coated wire it shouldn't be burning her and that the pinch she was feeling would go away as soon as he finished tying his knot.
it didn't. i fixed it by spreading the skin so the wire knot would let go of the skin he had pinched.
that's when i believe she finally just got pissed off!!!
she told him IT IS TOO BURNING ME, SLOW DOWN!!!
3 different times i heard her tell him this and i even told him 3 different times to slow it the hell down!!!
he didn't so, once we got the legs done, we called the scene and he finished the top with rope. 
she and i told him at least 6 different times he was pulling the wire through her skin way to dam fast and he still didn't slow down.
daddy told us later he had told him at least twice!
he was trying to cram a whole day of play into an hour and when it couldn't be done, he tried to tell us
"this isn't for an inexperienced bottom".
i was insulted by that and so was daddy and especially lil miss B.
that's when we all 3 decided we were done with him!
it was at this point we basically edged him away from her and just made sure he didn't touch her again.
she isn't a newbie, she is a way better top then he could ever hope to be and the best bottom he could ever dream about having to play with under any circumenstances and to have him say that, well, that was it for us!
 
i wanted to kick his ankle and step on it for awhile.
then, i thought better of it and decided i'd rather just do the scene, ALL of the scene he had planned for her...to him.
then maybe he'd learn something about head space and how to create some for any bottom he was trying to play as well as what you can actually do in the time alloted you for play.
and yes, i can say trying because i could only see his talants with cuttings (and yes, he does have some for that.) and even then we found problems and issues that need to be addressed by him. (mostly cleaniness and prep of his play area.)
 
on the way home she said..."i shouldn't have said to him during the scene", "you really need to listen and take these tips i'm telling you and learn from them!"
i told her "OH, YES MA'AM, YOU SHOULD HAVE!"
she told me
"no, i shouldn't have had to say it to anyone in the first place."
and ya, i have to agree, it shouldn't have been said.
it shouldn't have had to have been said to anyone, but, especially by her to him.
 
i feel horrible for ever telling her the chance was there for her to live this one out.
what's funny is i wasn't really trying to find this, it just came up and i told her she could try it if she wanted, but i knew she would before i even talked to her, i knew she would love the idea and the chance to help someone she admires and mostly, to help a cause she really feels strongly about.
so, it is my fault and i want to let her know i am truly sorry for it going like it did, and, there won't be a next time, for each time is different and our learned lesson's will make sure we won't ever do anything like this again. 
 
that...and her decision to not do demo's again. that's the worst part, he took her love of helping, her feeling of "I can help in this world" and made it a scary thing for her to do now.
he made it something that will take her along time to be able to do again, if ever.
we did talk about it, we know what we are going to do to fix some of this, and time will have to do the rest, having talked about it all during the long ride him, we all 3 now know to accept the fair warnings we get and do what we know to be right, call it off before we start so our lil buddy never feels like she was playing with someone that didn't know what the hell they were doing!
and please, just as we 3 got our own fair warnings,
please, don't ignore yours when they keep flashing away right in front of your eyes.

hugzzz,
me
and lil miss B, i do love ya and i hope you know i was truly only trying to help you have some fun and enjoy being you, i am sorry that part went wrong, i can only hope the good parts of the time was enough to help make the bad parts become something we wish to hold onto...even if only as a lesson learned about shooting down the red flags in our way,
this hug is just for you,
{{{HUG}}}
me

quote:

ORIGINAL: akame

yes, we were wrong. so, take our wrong and make it something to carry with you into these talks.
don't do what we did, take your time, find out the tiny details and make sure you and all your players all get along and do understand everything that is going to happen first!!!
hugzzz,
me