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Leonidas -> RE: New to site (3/29/2004 1:18:02 PM)
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Changing your profile so that you are listed as a submissive rather than a dominant might be a start [;)] . Here are a few things that might help:
1. Don't waste time looking for "the one". At your age and level of exposure, you aren't likely to find "the one". If you did, it would be dumb beginner's luck. If you put pressure on yourself to seek "the one" right now, you'll still be seeking "the one" five years from now, but you'll be carrying the baggage of several failed attempts at "the one" along with you. I've seen this scenario play itself out way too often over the years. This isn't to say that it's impossible that the first man whose collar you wear will keep you forever, but go into your early experiences knowing that you have a lot of developing to do.
2. Find a man with as much experience as possible, who enjoys working with developing novices. Don't take it on faith that because someone says that they are a "trainer" or very experienced that they really know what they are doing. If anyone tells you that they are a "certified trainer" or "true master", run. Ask lots of questions about how they go about developing a new submissive or slave, and what exactly it is that they teach them, and how. For some people, training means pressing the limits of what you can tolerate, progressing you from milder to more extreme (and often more painful or frightening) forms of play. Others tend more to train a a sub or slave to service and pleasure; focusing more on developing in you a mindset of selfless service and devotion, and possibly developing your sexual potential and responsiveness. There are many variations. Ask lots of questions.
3. Accept no bullshit. If you want a 24/7 situation, find someone who is genuinely open to that arrangement, and in a position to keep you. Before begging or accepting a collar, and even before serving him sexually or otherwise, insist on knowing everything about him. Where he lives, what he does for a living, phone numbers, etc. Does he have other subs or slaves? A wife or girlfriend who theoretically have agreed to an "arrangement"? If so, and you are open to a poly arrangement, talk to the women privately. Make sure that you will be welcome. If you fail to follow this piece of advice, you'll end up being a married or attached man's illicit snack, and probably more than once, before you find what you are looking for. If that's OK with you, feel free to ignore this one. If it's not, you'd better pay attention.
4. Be willing to accept a few hard knocks along the way . Accept right now that there are going to be some false-starts, hard knocks, mistakes, and tears along the way. If you can't, or won't, you are better off giving up right now and looking for a safe republican to marry. In the years that I have been in this life, I can tell you that it is, almost without exception, the submissive or slave who keeps a positive outlook, even in the face of the disappointments and heart breaks, who eventually finds happiness. The rest just end up prematurely old, used up, and bitter because with each disappointment, they become a little less able to be happy.
There you go, for what it is worth. May you have a long and delightful journey ahead of you.
Take care of yourself.
Leonidas.
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