subrob1967
Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline
|
It's Thursday, March 28th, and I'm up to my elbows in thought when I hear, "Chris, Stephanie's on her way down to see you," the real Janet Thompson says from my open office door.
"Thanks Jan," I call out, and look around the mess that was once my pristine workspace. It's been nearly four months since Lisa's murder, and I'm dealing with the pain in the only way I know... Work. I sleep here, eat here, and even shower here, the only time I've gone home was to get clothes, which are now piled up here too. Stephanie storms down the hall ignoring greetings given by my team members, she's followed by an equally angry... Carrie! Carrie closes my office door as Stephanie looks around my office in disgust.
"What the fuck is this, a flop house? Look at you, you look like shit!" Stephanie rants at my unkempt appearance and patchy beard. "I go to DC for a couple of months, and come back only to hear my superstar hasn't bothered to go home, or even to make himself presentable while I was gone?"
"I've been working," I mumble, feeling ashamed.
"Yeah, I know! You filed three patents, and wrote five papers since Christmas... FIVE FUCKING PAPERS! You're killing yourself Chris! Don't you see that?"
"I'M DOING MY JOB! IT'S ALL I HAVE LEFT!" I yell back in an angry sob.
Carrie steps up and grabs me in a tight hug, "no it's not! You have family... And friends who care about you, miss you, and want you back! Jesus Christ Chris, we haven't seen you in three months! You still have Christmas lights hanging... You need to come home!"
"I can't! Don't you understand?"
"Chris," Stephanie says with compassion, "we all know how much you loved her, but you need to give yourself a break... You need to put your house in order, I can't have you living here... This is a place of business, not a residence. I understand the pain you feel, I really do, I lost a spouse too. But you have to go on with your life, it's what Lisa would have wanted."
"You know she's telling you the truth Bro, you just have to accept it."
I collapse into my desk chair, feeling pitiful.
"I want you to clean this mess up, get your house in order, and pack your bags, I'm sending you to San Francisco to oversee the Bay project. Now this is how it has to be, you WILL NOT work more than ten hours a day, nor will you work on anything other than the Bay. If I hear you've helped on ANY other project I'll have to let you go, am I clear?"
I nod, too choked up with having to go home.
"Good... Chris, I can't afford to lose you, but I also can't sit here and watch you destroy yourself, now Carrie has told me you have family on the coast, so once you get to Frisco, you have two weeks to get the project going, then you WILL take a week off to visit them... This is not a suggestion! Now I'm going back to my office to leave you two alone. I expect this place clean, and you on your way home by lunch. Pick up your itinerary from Margie on the way out, and don't come in tomorrow! Go shopping, pay your bills, find a house sitter, I don't care what you do, but no work!"
Carrie follows me home in a new Lexus Suv, when I pull into my garage, Carrie parks in her own, and I notice a second Lexus in her garage. 'Two Lexus's'? I think as Carrie steps into my garage carrying a garbage bag full of dirty clothes. "Nice trucks," I say, taking the bag of clothes, "how much do I owe you?"
"For the car? Nothing, for the three months of bills I covered? I'll have to add it up." I look at her quizzically, not comprehending her words.
"You think your bills payed themselves while you were off playing Boy Genius?"
"I was talking about the new cars... I was wondering how you could afford two of them, that's all."
"Listen Chris, despite your ill informed opinion, I've told you many times now that I'm much better with my finances than you think! But if you must know, Papa bought Sophie her's and I liked it so much I traded in the Camry for my own." Of course Carrie is lying through her teeth, after all she can't tell me about the four point nine million dollars she took from Molly, can she?
We step into my kitchen and Sophie yells, "CHRIS!" She drops the rag and can of Pledge and throws herself at me. She wraps me in a strangling hug, and kisses me a little too hard, and a little to passionately. "My God look at you!" She says, holding me at arms length. "You look like shit! Have you even bothered to eat anything?"
"You look... Good Soph, ah pregnant, but good!" I say, looking at her round belly. "Ah, what are you doing here?"
"Cleaning this pigsty, there must be an inch of dust covering everything! Oh Chris, I'm so happy you're here, I... We've missed you so much!"
"Thanks... For being here," I say lamely. Carrie has taken my clothes and started a load of laundry, and returns.
"You!" She points at me and says in her Domme voice. "Go clean yourself up, and shave that ridiculous mold off your face! Baby, will you be ok while I go get us some lunch? I doubt there's anything edible to eat around here."
Ire raised, I'm already sick and tired of taking orders from anyone. "Who are you, my Domme now?" I snark back.
"If I feel I need to be... Bro, I don't like this anymore than you, but frankly, I think you need it, you have let yourself go, and we're the ones who are suffering! Please, just work with us here, we need you, even if you don't feel the same." She has tears in her eyes, and I feel guilty all over.
"Alright Sis, you're right again... It's beginning to become annoying." We both smile at that, then I continue, "but please, no more orders, ok?" She grabs me in a hard hug, and I flinch, remembering the pain I felt thanks to Mandy... Speaking of Mandy, Carrie told me she flew back to New York the night of Lisa's murder, and then left the country the following day. I go upstairs to shower, I can't bear to go into the master bedroom, so I take a thirty minute shower, I then take an additional fifteen minutes to carefully shave my face. I examine my face closely, my eyes are sunken in, and have dark circles under my eyes. My ribs are showing, and frankly I look like a bulimic super model in desperate need of a sandwich. I have to settle for a pair of sweats, all of my clothes are too baggy, so I need the drawstring I sigh heavily when I realize I need to go clothes shopping before my flight on Monday, and I'm in desperate need of a hair cut.
I go downstairs and find my kitchen spotless, and Sophie singing as she cleans the office. I stand there and let her pretty voice wash over me, while she's clearly not a professional, she has a damn good voice, and it strikes me how much I missed life outside of work. Overwhelming guilt strikes me as I think about living while Lisa lies in a cold, dark grave. I slink quietly out of the doorway, and head back upstairs to start cleaning myself. I briefly consider retreating back to my office cave, but I know Stephanie well enough to know she will fire me if I show up there before August. I find an old t-shirt and try dusting, but give up when I realize I'm just pushing the dust around instead of cleaning it up. I sit on the bed and cry silent tears, I really don't wanna be here, but I don't have anywhere else to go. A hotel would mean life, and happiness, mixed with exhaustion, and bone weariness, and I'm sure I'm not ready to deal with all that emotional energy.
Carrie and Sophie surprise me by sitting down on either side of me and holding me tight. They remain quiet, and cry silent tears along with me for twenty minutes. "Shh, we got you Baby, we know how much you're hurting, let us feel the pain too." Sophie whispers, stroking my hair. She pulls my head down to her breast, and wraps her arms around my head. There's nothing sexual about it, it's pure love and support that flows from her. Carrie leans in to envelope me and I'm surrounded by healing energy, we sit there until I'm cried out. When they finally let go, I feel... Different, almost human again.
"Cmon, let's go eat, I'm starving." Carrie says softly, pulling me to my feet. "After lunch, you can take a nap while we finish cleaning, ok?"
"Yeah... Thanks Sweetpea." Carrie smiles at the old nickname my Dad gave her, I rarely use it, only under very special circumstances, the last time I used it was at Gramma's funeral. We head downstairs, and my mouth waters at the scent of Ricobene's hits me. I had no idea just how hungry I was until I find myself eating cold French Fries.
"Chris, let me heat this up," Sophie says, as Carrie pops open a beer for me. We sit there chatting while the food warms in the oven, Carrie tells me about her new job at Midway. Sophie tells me about her pregnancy, and how their looking forward to having a ultra sound. I can honestly say that Ricobene's fries suck reheated, but right now they're like mana from Heaven, and my steak is the nectar of the Gods. I polish off a king sized steak in five minutes, much to the horrified amusement of the girls. After lunch I fall asleep on the couch as the girls clean. When I finally wake up four hours later, the house smells like oranges, and the Christmas decorations are gone. I take the tree down myself, feeling rested and alive for the first time in months. I don't know where the girls are, perhaps they went home, so I step into my office and boot up my computer. My email box is full, so I start going through the messages, a lot of them are sympathy messages from college classmates, and co workers, and I know I should respond with thanks, but they're months old, and I just don't have the heart, so I delete them. It takes me the better part of a half hour, and I look up when there's a knock on the doorframe.
"Hey Sweetheart, feeling better?" Sophie asks with a soft smile. "I hope you don't mind, but we took a nap in your bedroom."
"No, I don't mind, but it's no longer my bedroom... I don't think I could ever sleep in there again." Sophie pulls up a chair and takes my hand.
"It will take time Baby, and we'll repaint it for you, but Chris, you have to let her go! That doesn't mean you have to forget her, and you should always keep her in your heart, but you also need to forgive yourself and go on."
"I know you mean well, and part of me knows you're right, but I'm not done grieving yet, I may never stop grieving."
"Chris, have you considered getting some grief counseling?"
"Are you kidding? If I speak to a Counselor, you know they'll end up dragging the whole story out... What happens then?"
"Take a chance, there are laws preventing them from going to the authorities... If that's what it takes for you to heal, I say damn it all and take a chance."
"Soph, you know I love you, in fact I think you know my feelings for you are... Unhealthy, and I know deep down, you love me too, maybe not quite in the same way as I love you, I know Carrie is your one... But I can't take that chance, no matter how long I'm in pain... I've been living in pain since you left me, and I think I can handle more, without professional help."
"Chris, you have no idea how much you just hurt me." Sophie stands and runs from the room crying.
I sit there confused, not knowing what I've said to upset her. I head into the kitchen and grab a beer, and once I open the fridge, my disgust has me throwing everything out. Fridge, freezer, everything must go... Except the beer! I'm scrubbing out the veggie drawers when Carrie enters the kitchen. There's an awkward silence, I know she's angry, but she's afraid to say anything for fear of chasing me away. She finally says, "I see you're compulsive cleaning disorder has returned with a vengeance... You know all that frozen food you threw out is perfectly fine, don't you?"
"Sis, I'm sorry that I upset Sophie, I didn't mean to, honest."
"I know Bro, that's why it hurt her so much... I'm trying not to be angry at you, but you make it so fucking hard sometimes, yanno?" Her tone is full of sadness and frustration.
"Story of my life... Can you at least tell me what I said, so I know never to say it again?"
Carrie shakes her head sadly, "Chris... You said she's hurt you ever since school... Now you know how sensitive she is! How could you possibly say that to her?"
"I was telling the truth! You know I always speak my mind, so does she... And with the way she's treated me over the last few years wasn't exactly promoting any healing... You have to admit she got a kick out of teasing me."
"I'll concede your point, but can you please think about what your about to say, before you say it, ok?"
"Would it help if I apologized to her?"
"No, I'll take care of it, you just continue what you're doing, and think about what you want for dinner."
We settle on Mexican, and Carrie asks me my plans for tomorrow, I tell her I need a new wardrobe, and a haircut. She informs me the neighbors want to come over and welcome me back. I nod, knowing I have to get this over with, and suggest ordering the Patio for dinner. She agrees to pick it up on her way home from work, and I finally turn to the silent Sophie. "Soph, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, sometimes I can be an insensitive lout. I'll try not to do it again... Friends?"
She smiles sadly and says, "we'll always be friends, and more importantly family... I forgive you, Sweetie, I hope you can forgive me for the way I treated you all these years." I stand up and hug her tightly, and kiss the top of her head. They spend the night with me, and I think it's more for them than me.
Friday...
I literally spend the day shopping, I head out at nine, and by the time I've gotten my haircut, bought all new clothes, groceries, and beer for the weekend, it's almost four o'clock when I get home. I order the ribs, put my groceries away, and carry my new clothes, including male underwear, upstairs to my bedroom. The reunion goes well, Geoff brings a DVD of the Superbowl over and I get to watch da Bears beat the Jets 27-13. I realize just how much I've missed having friends, and the camaraderie that goes with it. There are plenty of melancholy moments, and awkward silences whenever someone says something that reminds me of Lisa, but with Carrie and Sophie's guidance the gathering doesn't turn into a pity party. The guys offer to help take down my exterior lights tomorrow, and everybody goes home around eleven. The girls offer to stay again, but I decline, telling them I need some time alone in the house. They reluctantly agree, and Sophie offers to make breakfast in the morning.
Saturday...
I don't get much sleep, the place feels empty and devoid of life to me, and I seriously consider selling it and moving away. Nobody could blame me, right? At seven, I shower, and dress for the day, dreading what I have to do next, I grab a few Hefty garbage bags, and enter the master bedroom. Sadness overwhelms me, and I sit on the bed for a crying jag. I'm unable to get my emotions under control for twenty minutes, before I'm finally able to move. I wrap all of Lisa's clothes and shoes into the bags, and dispose of all her personal hygiene products because I can't bear the thought of them just sitting there never to be used. I carry the clothes out to my Toyota, and remembering a promise I made, run back inside for one last thing.
I'm on I55 heading into the city when Carrie calls, "Bro, where are you? We're supposed to have breakfast, remember?" I hear the concern in her voice, and I feel bad.
"I had an errand to run, and a promise to keep Sis, go ahead and eat without me, I'll be back in ninety minutes or so.
I drive until I find a Goodwill store in one of the poorer neighborhoods of the city, I'm given the eye by all the locals, who are probably wondering what a lily white Cracker such as myself is doing in their 'hood. I'm instructed to pull around to the side to make a donation, and part of me hopes I run into a gang banger, or car jacker, but I couldn't be so lucky. The fifty something African American woman looks at me suspiciously at first as I unload boxes of high heels, and bags of female clothes. But she must sense my grief, because she thanks me for the donation in a sympathetic tone.
As she examines Lisa's clothes, I look around at the people shopping, I notice there's more than one Mother/Daughter pair looking at formal dresses, and it registers in my mind that Proms must be coming up. I walk out to the truck for the final item, and grab my Ball gown, still hanging in it's heavy vinyl garment bag, and lay it on the counter. The woman unzips the bag and although she tries to hide it, I can tell she's surprised and excited to see such a beautiful dress, and I wonder if she has a Granddaughter in need of one. I watch her pull it out and examine it critically before looking at me.
"You sure you want to donate this? I'm sure you could place an ad and sell it, I bet it be worth a couple hundred dollars."
"I'm sure... I made a promise to a very nice woman." I reply softly.
"That very kind of you, we don't see stuff of this quality very often, thank you for your donation... An for what it's worth, I sorry for yo loss."
I thank her and she hands me my receipt. On the drive home, I feel... Warm inside, the promise I made to Monica has been fulfilled, and I feel like I've taken the first step toward moving on with my life. Now I have to decide about Juliette, but figure I can put that decision off until after my trip to Frisco. Carrie and Sophie are waiting in my kitchen, I can see they're afraid I've had a relapse, and ran off to die. There must be something on my face, because when they look at each other, I can clearly see the relief wash over their postures.
"Can I ask where you went?" Carrie asks in a tone a little too casual and tinged in worry. Sophie places her hand on Carrie's forearm in caution.
"It's ok Sophie, I took Lisa's clothes to Goodwill... Along with my dress, I couldn't ever wear it again."
"I'm sorry Bro, we should have done that for you, we understand about the dress... Hungry?"
"Not really, I kinda overdid it yesterday, I'll be ok for a while, thanks."
Monday...
I catch a ride to the airport with Carrie, and I'm looking forward to getting back to work. I didn't sleep well this weekend, and despite the steps I took towards healing, my house just doesn't feel the same, and I'm glad I'll be gone for a few months. I meet Janet Thompson at the airport, and she keeps telling me how excited she is to be working in the field on such an important project. We'll be working with two guys from Idaho, and I'm in charge of the project. We get to SFX around one thirty local, and find two government Chevy Tahoe's waiting for us in short term parking, since I know the city well, Janet follows me to the Condo Argonne leased for the duration of the project. It's a very nice three bedroom, three bath unit overlooking the Bay in the Marina District. By virtue of being the Boss, I claim one bedroom for myself, and Janet, being the only female get's her own as well, leaving the guys from Idaho to share the final room. Janet and I magnanimously let them have the largest bedroom. tr57Terry Jones and Larry Coleman arrive just after three in a third Tahoe, they're two of our younger employees I've never met before. Introductions are made, and beds shifted around. Janet and the guys are itching to go out and sight see a bit before we get started tomorrow, but I beg off, ready for a nap.
My phone rings at six, waking me from my nap, and my caller ID tells me it's a local number. "Hello?" I say, fuzzily, thinking it might be the local contractor who'll be working with us.
"Hi Chris, it's Daphne... Sophie called us and told us you're in town, so Mama expects you at the diner in an hour."
"Wha? Daphne?" My sleep filled brain is trying to connect the dots. "Ah, hold on ok? I just woke up... Jet lag."
She sounds amused as she gives me a minute to wake up, "you still there?"
"Yeah, who is this?" I ask, coming awake finally.
"It's Daphne Doukis Silly, have you forgotten me already?"
"Oh, no! Sorry, you were saying Mama expects me over for dinner?"
"Yes, Mama and Papa, want you to come to the new diner for dinner!"
"Ah, ok, ah Daphne, can I take a rain check? I just got in a few hours ago, and have an early start tomorrow."
"Fraid not Chris, Carrie told me you might try to get out of dinner, and she told me to remind you that you owe them!" In a conspiratorial tone, she continues, "you know I love your sister, but she scares the hell out of me sometimes, and I don't wanna be the one to tell her you begged off."
"Yeah, she scares me too sometimes, seven, you said?" I say with a yawn and glace at my watch.
She giggles and confirms the time.
"Ok, let me grab a pen so I can write down the address."
"That's ok, I'll pick you up in a half hour, there's a lot of street repairs going on, and it's hard to get to."
"Ok, need my address?"
"Nope, Sophie gave it to me already, see you in thirty." I stare at my phone for a minute, with the sinking feeling I'm about to receive help with my grief, despite my wishes.
I shower and shave before dressing in Dockers, a Polo, and boat shoes. I fire off a quick text to Janet to let her know I'm going out, and wait for my ride. The doorbell rings and I open it to find Daphne standing there with a shy smile on her face. She reminds me of a Librarian, with her white button down blouse, charcoal knee length wool skirt, white knee socks, low heels, and gold rimmed glasses. "Hey Chris," she says, and gives me an awkward hug, I'm literally shocked when her hands wrap around my neck. "Sorry," She says, embarrassed, "must have been static electricity."
I'm not so sure as I hug her back, I invite her in while I grab my watch and wallet. "Nice place, what a great view," she comments, looking out toward the bay and the spectacular view of the Golden Gate Bridge.
"I agree, I bet my Boss would be jealous if she saw it... You ready?" Daphne nods and leads me to a burnt orange Mitsubishi Eclipse convertible. I feel guilty when I catch myself discretely checking Daphne out. She's three inches shorter than her sister, and doesn't have the sharp cheekbones, or aquiline nose Sophie does, nor does she have her long legs, but her breasts are a firm 38D, and her ass is a little rounder. Her face is heart shaped, nose a little flatter, lips fuller with a cute Cupid's bow shape, and her eyes are a little wider apart, but she's very attractive nevertheless. And her hair is a glorious mass of black curls pulled back by a large Tortoise shell Butterfly clip, I bet if she let it down it would reach the small of her back... Her picture definitely didn't do her justice.
"So, you're gonna be in town for a few months?" She asks, catching me by surprise.
"Ah, yeah, I'm working on a project to clean up the Bay, we plan on having it up and running by August, and hopefully the city Engineers will be up to speed, and ready to take over by then."
"Sounds interesting," Daphne says, not really interested at all.
"No, it sounds quite boring," I say, calling her out with a smile.
She smiles back and it's like a punch between the eyes, she's quite beautiful. She says, "yeah, I guess it does, engineering isn't really my thing." She giggles, laying her hand on my knee. My mouth goes dry when I feel the spark again, I guess she felt it too, because she removes her hand and rubs it on her skirt. I can't stop myself from sinking into silence, guilt is churning in my stomach, and memories of Lisa run through my mind. Daphne senses me shutting down, and a sad look crosses her face. We share an uncomfortable silence for the remainder of the ride. Mama, Papa, and their other daughter Celeste surround me with hugs and kisses, Papa leads us to a large round table in one corner. I look around the new restaurant, and it's much more formal than your typical Greek diner. Joe has a quiet word with one of the servers, and sits down to join the rest of us.
Mama won't let go of my hand, she tsks when she see's my thin form. "How are you doing my son?" She asks worriedly, "you look so thin!"
"Trying to keep busy Mama, you know, to keep my mind occupied."
"Sophie told us they haven't seen you sine Christmas."
"I know Mama, I just couldn't go home, you know?"
"We understand, Honey, but now's the time to let us in to be here for you, let us share in your pain, ok?"
"Yes Mama, thank you, all of you." The server carries out a big tray loaded down with food, there's Chicken and Dumplings, stuffed Grape Leafs, Lamb and Rice, and something that looks suspiciously like a Ricobene's Steak Sandwich. At some point during the evening all of the Doukis children stop by to say hello, and welcome me back to Frisco, and the Twins make me promise to spend some time with them. I'm completely stuffed by the time ten o'clock rolls around, we talked about my project, and how I'll be spending the next two weeks on a barge in the bay. I promise to bring my team here for dinner, and as I get ready to go, Mama hands me a large shopping bag filled with sub sandwiches, pasta salad, and cole slaw and the world's best Baklava for the team's lunch tomorrow.
"You ready to go Chris?" Daphne asks, as she returns to the table.
"I can grab a cab, and save you the trouble," I say, feeling guilty again as I look at her.
"Nonsense!" Papa Joe says, "she can take you," His tone leaves no room for argument, so with a last round of hugs, I follow Daphne to her car.
"So, tell me about Chicago, I'm thinking of going to school there." Daphne says as she pulls out of the lot.
"I don't know what to tell you, the city itself is pretty cool, it has excellent museums, nice skyline, and killer food... But it also holds painful memories, you know?"
"I guess it does, hey I'm sorry I brought it up, Sophie told me how much Lisa loved you... So much that I believe she would want you to find happiness again."
"I'm not too sure about that, she was pretty possessive," I half heartily joke.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that."
"Oh it was just a sad joke, never mind... So which school you looking at?"
"University of Chicago... Booth school of Business."
"What a coincidence, I'll be going to the UC for my Doctorate in the fall. It's a great school."
"Well Papa is pushing for Princeton,or Yale, but I don't wanna move to the East coast, yanno? At least in Chicago I'll have family near."
"You'll also experience four seasons, and winter driving." As I say driving Daphne is forced to slam on her brakes to avoid a careless driver, she throws her arm up across my chest instinctively, as if she could hold me back if we hit something. When her palm hits my chest, sparks fly once again, causing my heart skip a beat. I know she feels it too, but neither of us has the courage to say anything. We pull into the lot of the Condo, and I'm happy to see all three Tahoe's are here. We sit there for a moment, not knowing what to say to each other, I finally say, "thanks for the ride, I'm happy you didn't let me back out of dinner... I, I guess I needed it more than I thought."
"You're welcome... Hey, maybe we can go out for a drink sometime while your here."
"Yeah, I'd like that, give me a call next week, and we'll set something up." I grab the bag of sandwiches, and watch Daphne drive off into the night. I enter the Condo and Larry has a big grin on his face. "Way to go Boss man, less than one day in town and you land a chick... She's a hottie!"
Janet tenses up and is shooting him panicked looks, when I smile and say, "relax Larry, she happens to be one of my sister's in laws, and considers me family."
I carry the bag into the kitchenette, and place the bag in the fridge. Terry follows me into the kitchen and apologizes for Larry's remark, apparently he knows about Lisa. I reassure him it's ok, and he asks about the bag... Apparently, the seafood they had for dinner has left him hungry. I tell him there's more than enough, so he digs one of the eight inch sandwiches out of the bag. The week goes by quickly, getting the all new technology assembled, and calibrated is going better than I expected. Of course we end up working more than ten hour days, but Stephanie's spy Janet must be sending good reports about me, because the only thing I hear from Steph is praise on how smoothly things are going. I took the crew to the diner for dinner last night, and somehow Daphne traps me into spending Saturday afternoon with her, instead of just going out for a drink. The team has the weekend off because the next components for the barge won't be delivered until Monday, and the others are excited about the time off to explore. Once the last of our components arrive, two of us will be working every weekend. I'm actually enjoying working on the barge, the sun and salty air seem to be doing me a world of good. Unfortunately, due to Union rules, I'm not allowed to actually wrench on the machine I helped design.
Saturday...
Janet and the guys head out around ten to take in the sights, Daphne is picking me up at one, so I have plenty of time to kill. I'm tempted to check up on our other projects, but Stephanie's warning has me frustrated, so instead I take a walk to get some exercise. I end up grabbing some breakfast at Abagail's, and make a mental note to tell the team about it, it's a bit pricey, but the pastries are incredible. I head back to the Condo, and prepare for my "date" with Daphne. After I shower and shave, a wave of guilt washes over me, it's so deep that I actually dial Daphne's phone to cancel, but hang up before she has a chance to answer. I stare at myself in the mirror and say, "relax, you're just hanging out with an old friend... Besides, she's practically your sister!" My justifications seem lame even to me, and I have to fight off the depression to even get dressed..
She arrives promptly at one, and we decide to walk around the neighborhood, and down to the Fort. It's your typical April day in Frisco, where one minute you're wearing a wind breaker, and the next it's tied around your waist. Daphne's wearing jeans, a sweatshirt, and cross trainers, with a light wind breaker. Her make up is light, and skillfully applied. We talk as we walk, and I'm extremely surprised by how well the conversation goes. It's like the Fed Ex ad man took over my mouth! I learn she loves classic rock, football, but only the Niners, and computer games. At some point I'm walking next to her with my hands in my pockets, and she slips her arm through the gap. We both feel the spark, and I joke, "must be the salty air." Daphne blushes and looks away. We wander in and out of galleries as I tell her more about Chicago, she's telling me about her dream of owning her own diner under the family name as we reach the Fort.
We're watching the boats in the channel when I turn to her to ask, "won't your boyfriend be angry that you're here with me?"
"Who says I like boys?" She dead pans, then laughs at my reaction. "Seriously, who has time for a relationship these days?"
"Surely with your experience, your classes can't be that hard!" I say, surprised she doesn't have guys beating down her door.
"No, they're not, but you know how college is, once you get a reputation as a brain, and a book worm, guys want you as a lab partner, or study date... Not as someone you take to a beer bash! Besides, this is California, all the boys want blondes... The girls too!"
I turn red at that comment thinking back on my college days, she must have found my blush amusing, because she has a sly smile on her face when I look at her. "Come to think of it, I don't remember YOU bringing any girls around after you broke up with Sophie, maybe I'm following in your footsteps!" How can I argue with that? We grab an early dinner at Betelnut, (which is a must try if you're ever in Frisco dear readers.) and we end up talking to the other patrons more than each other. At some point Daphne tells me that this is her favorite section of the city, and would love to own a Condo like the one I'm staying in one day. After dinner she drags me down to a pub called Bar None for a beer or two. I remember this place from my college days, and I'm pleased it hasn't changed much over the years. It's way too early for the rowdy college crowd, so we have plenty of quiet to continue our conversation. I find out she's a beer drinker like myself, and she loves her little convertible. It's just after eight when I decide to call it a night, I really have to go over the blueprints of the component arriving on Monday. Daphne is clearly disappointed, and was hoping to introduce me to a couple of friends due to show up later, but I promise her a rain check, and we walk back to the Condo hand in hand. We stop by her car and I hug her goodnight, she hugs me back, then leans in for a kiss. I panic, and turn away, mumbling "please, it's too soon for me."
"I understand," she replies in a disappointed tone, and I beat a hasty, guilt ridden retreat. I toss and turn, unable to sleep all fucking night, I'm still grieving Lisa, and the emptiness inside me feels ice cold, and dark. I beg off going out with the team, and basically hole up in my room all day Sunday, I can tell Janet noticed my exhausted condition, and I can only hope she gives me a little time before talking to Stephanie. I make a mental note to speak to her when she gets back, and let myself sink into the work. The team returns around six, they are wind burned, and tired after a day of sightseeing around Frisco. I give her an hour to relax, and let the guys settle in to watch the Giants game. She's in her room, with the door closed, so I knock softly. "Yes?" She calls out, and opens the door. "Oh, Chris?" She says, surprised to see me standing there. I'm a hands off kind of Boss, I expect my people to do their job without hovering, or micro managing, so I can imagine her surprise to find me standing there.
"Hi... Have you got a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something."
"The project?" She asks, wondering what I found going over the plans. Janet is thirty two, and a damn fine engineer. She may not have my credentials, or Dave's, who graduated from MIT, but she has both her BS and Master's from Purdue, which is one hell of an Engineering school. She's a divorcee, with strawberry blonde hair, and a trim athletic body. She isn't what you'd call pretty, but her outgoing personality, and cheerful demeanor makes her very appealing to the people who take the time to get to know her.
"Ah, this is more of a personal matter... I, I'd like some advice if you're willing." I can tell she's uncomfortable, wondering just what I'm after. Her turmoil is obvious, so I hastily add, "Jan, this will in no way affect our working relationship, I swear I won't hold anything against what you might say... I'm looking for a friend, ok?"
"I don't know Chris... Don't get me wrong, I think you're a good boss, and frankly I can't tell you how relived we all were when the rumors about your leadership skills turned out to be unfounded. I'd hate to lose that on offering advice not to your liking."
"I understand, I just need an unbiased opinion, that's all."
"What makes you think I'm unbiased? I already told you I like working for you, don't you think I might be swayed by our relationship?"
I find myself not knowing what to say to that, how could I possibly missed that point of view? After a moment's thought I say, "it's a personal matter, and really could use a woman's perspective."
"Alright Chris... I could use a smoke anyway, can we talk out on the balcony?"
"Sure... Hey, thanks." She grabs her purse, and we step outside to the balcony. It overlooks the Bay, and has a small Bistro table and four chairs, as well as a gas grill. I wait for her to light one of her Marlboro Lights, and take a deep breath.
"This is about that girl you went out with last night, isn't it?" She asks as she exhales her first drag.
"Yeah."
"I was under the impression you knew her from before, is she an ex?"
"When I told you guys she's my sister's in law, and considers me family, that was true, in a sense... You see, I dated her sister in college... Before the sister figured out she was gay.
"Aw man! Are you serious?"
"Yeah, unfortunately... But that's not the problem... The problem is I'm still grieving over Lisa, but developing feelings for Daphne, and I feel guilt. I mean, how long is a guy supposed to grieve, before trying to move on?"
"Chris, grief is a personal thing, nobody can tell you X tears + W sadness = Z ready to move on. It took me over two years to get over my divorce, but I think that's mainly because I lived in a small town, and my dating pool was very shallow... I didn't get over it until I decided to go for my Masters, and take the job out of state... You, and only you will know when you're ready, trust me."
"So you don't think it's wrong that I find myself wanting to spend more time with Daphne?"
"On the contrary, I think it's a sign that you're about ready to continue living... Frankly, we're all very happy to see you return to the guy we love to work for, you were really starting to scare us at the office."
We sit there in silence as the Sun set's over the Pacific, and I wonder if that's the perfect symbolism of my mourning coming to an end. The second week doesn't go so smoothly for us, one of the components for the transfer pump Terry designed needs to be modified, so he and I locate a machine shop able to do the work, while Janet and Larry oversee the Barge instillation. Long hours, and hours of frustration leave me no time to spend with Daphne. I'm pretty sure she's upset with me, she's left me a few of messages of which I'm slow to reply to, and I can hear the frustration growing with each concurring voice mail. It's two o'clock on Friday and Terry and I are at the machine shop overseeing the final modification when my phone rings. I don't recognize the number, only that it's a Chicago suburban area code. Assuming it's one of my co workers from Argonne, I answer a bit too curtly, "this is the Boss, it better be important!"
"Oh, now YOU'RE the BOSS?" Carrie says with a laugh.
"Sorry Sis tough week,I thought you were one of my team back there."
"You sound frazzled! You ok?"
I let out a heavy sigh and say, "yeah, we're running a bit behind schedule, that's all... I can't talk long, what's up?"
"You're still on vacation next week, aren't you?"
"Yeah, the Dragon Lady won't budge on that." I say with frustration.
"Well, we're flying out next Friday with the results of the ultra scan, so you better make time for us, got it Bossman?"
For some weird reason, the news really cheers me up. "Sure, sounds great, I plan on driving up to see Mom and Dad Monday and staying a couple of days, after that, I don't have any plans."
"Good, we'll see you next week then... It will be good to hang out together in Frisco again, you know? I'll let you get back to work, give Mom and Dad our love, love you Bro."
"Love you too Sis, bye." Terry and I watch the fork lift place the pump in the back of a Dually, and we follow it back to the pier and our waiting barge. Terry guides the crane operator, and has the pump in place by four thirty. I supervise the mechanics through the instillation and the pump is finally ready for testing by six thirty. I decide to call it a night, and send everyone home until morning. By the time we get back to the Condo, it's close to seven, and we've worked twelve hours today. The team decides to chill out and order Chinese take out instead of going out, I'm about to join them when Daphne calls. I briefly debate letting it go to voice mail because I'm so weary, but thoughts that this might be her last call drives me to answer.
"Hey Daph, sorry I haven't been able to return your calls, it's been a week from hell."
"Yeah, Uh huh, well you can make it up to me by buying me dinner tonight, but I'm warning you, the story better contain a massive Alien invasion, and how you single handedly designed the weapon that saved the world!"
I chuckle despite my weariness and respond, "um would you settle for Gremlins invading our computer and playing havoc with one of our designs?"
"I don't know... They would have to be really evil, almost indestructible Gremlins, and the food would have to be spectacular... Pick you up in thirty?"
"It's a date... Thanks Daph, for another chance."
"Oh we're not there yet, but it's a start... See you in thirty, wear a suit!"
'A suit?' I think, wondering what she has planned, I quickly shower the day's grime, and dress in one of the two suits I brought along for the eventual VIP presentations. I choose my light gray Hugo Boss two piece, a sky blue shirt, and dark gray tie with tiny royal blue stars.
When I walk out of my bedroom Larry razzes me a bit, but Janet gives me a strange gaze, and Terry a nod of approval. "Something wrong Jan?" I ask with a hint of concern.
"Wrong? No... It's just I've never seen you in a suit before, you look really... Nice."
"Thanks, I don't plan on staying out too late, I want to be at the pier by seven, ok?"
When Daphne isn't here by seven forty I begin to think she's blowing me off in retaliation, I step into the bathroom to wash my sweaty hands and I'm toweling off when I hear the doorbell ring. Cursing softly I rush out of my room and stop dead in my tracks! Larry has opened the door and let Daphne in, she is standing there with her shy smile, and shoulders hunched, left hand up to greet the team. She's wearing a Maroon Whispering Dreams Cocktail Dress with Cutout Detail by Alyce Designs, with a black lace shaw wrapped around her shoulders. The dress really accentuates her dusky Mediterranean skin. On her feet are Ferragamo 4" Strappy Sandals, and her make up is perfect for an evening out, with lipstick a shade lighter than the dress, and Rose eyeshadow.
"Ah, hi, thanks for coming," I manage to say, unable to take my eyes off of her. She giggles shyly, and I notice Janet shake her head and roll her eyes in my peripheral vision.
"You ready to go? We have reservations at eight thirty, so we'll have to hurry."
"Uh, sure... Ah guys, see you later," I call out as I follow her towards the door.
"I certainly hope not!" Larry wisecracks.
Once we're in the hall I say, "wow, you look..."
"If you say like Sophie, I'll kick you in your nuts!" She finishes in a mock angry tone.
"Huh? No! That dress is way too classy for her... You look, incredible!"
"Thank you... Are you saying my sister has no taste?"
"Noo, only that she um, she prefers to ah, make her body more... Visible, yeah visible," I shamble through like a Moron.
She's giggling so hard now, she has to stop walking, when she finally catches her breath, she clutches my arm for support. "Oh my God, you are so funny!" She finally manages to say. When we get downstairs, she hands me her keys, I look at her questioningly. "It's kind hard driving in heels, you know!"
"I'll bet," I say with a grin, thinking about driving my truck in my Leoboutin's." I open her door and hold her hand while she climbs into her car. The shock is there, and stronger than ever. Her beautiful brown eyes lock onto my blue ones, and time stands still.
After a minute she breaks the spell with, "Chris, we really have to go."
"Oh, yeah," I say, and carefully close her door. I hurry around the car and climb in. "Where we heading?" I ask, buckling my seat belt.
"Just follow the GPS," She answers with a wink. 'Please God, not her place, please!' I think, knowing I'm not ready for that quite yet. We actually arrive at our destination with seven minutes to spare, a Valet helps Daphne out of the car, and walks around to open the door for me. I hand him a twenty for the ten dollar service, and hold my arm out for Daphne to take.
The awning says Aziza, and Daphne has a brilliant smile on her face as we approach the podium. The Hostess smiles warmly and says, "Mz Doukis, lovely to see you again, it's been too long... How are your parents?"
"They're wonderful Soyria, they just opened number seven, and are looking for another location. How is Mourad?"
"Oh you know, temperamental, like all Chef's... And who is this handsome young man?"
"This is Christopher Madsen, an old friend of the family, Chris, this is Soyria Lahlou, a friend of my parents."
'Old friend of the family?' I'm thinking as I say, "It is a pleasure to meet you Soyria, this is a lovely place."
"The pleasure is mine, would you follow me? We have your table all ready." I glance around at all the couples waiting, and I can her the angry mumbles as we waltz right through the crowd, and to an intimate table for two. If Daphne hears the crowd, she ignores them, and waits for me to hold her seat.
"Boy, it's a good thing you made reservations, I didn't think we'd get through that crowd with our limbs attached! I woulda had to go all geek on them, and ran as fast as I could!" I say in a low, apprehensive tone.
Daphne is laughing again, and her hand closes over mine. "You would have left me to be eaten?" She says in mock surprise.
"Fraid so Shweetheart, when the situation calls for geek mode, it's everybody for themselves, see!" I say in my best Bogart impersonation.
"Oh, I love those old movies, Casablanca is the best! Besides, we didn't have a reservation, I asked Papa to call Mourad."
"Who the heck is this Mourad?"
Daphne stares at me dumbfounded, "you don't know who Mourad Lahlou is?"
"Ah, Field Goal kicker for the Niners?" I ask with a weak smile.
"He's a Michelin Star Chef Chris! He won Iron Chef America for Christ's sake... He's rated in the Top Ten American Chefs."
"Oh, THAT MOURAD! I thought you meant the other guy... Never mind... Can this guy cook as good as Mama? I'm starving."
Daphne is fighting hard to keep her laughter low, and squeezing my hand very hard. If I had to guess, she's ready to punch me in the nose, too. She settles for a tight hug and kiss on the cheek before sitting back down. "When I tell Mama what you just said, you're gonna get free dinners for the rest of your life! Hell, she might leave Papa and move in with you!"
"He's that good?" I ask, eyes wide. She just nods her head knowingly. When the Server comes, Daphne grabs my hand and says, "Tasting please."
"So, what are we eating?" I ask with mild apprehension.
"Moroccan," Daphne says with a warm smile.
"Um, what's it like?"
"Have you ever been to Greece?"
"Ah no, I'm afraid my travel is limited to all states between here, Idaho, and Illinois."
Daphne looks at me in shock! She knows Carrie and Sophie have traveled everywhere, and I guess she assumed I had too. She slaps both hands down on the table with a loud *SLAP!* And says, "that's it! Next summer I'm taking you to Mykonos! Never been to Greece? You Heretic!" I look around embarrassed at the nearest tables staring at us, 'did she just say she's taking me to Greece next summer?' The starters arrive, but all I can think about is her dominant tone when she declared I was going to Greece with her. I feel myself starting to blush, and a stirring in my groin, so I sip some water and pop an olive in my mouth to cover myself.. Dinner takes ninety minutes, and the food... What can I say! Daphne watches me savor every bite with that knowing smile of hers. And I can't help but stare at her sensuous lips as they wrap around each forkful of the amazing food.
"So, can you suggest a good neighborhood for an apartment if I choose Chicago?" Daphne asks, breaking me from my hypnotic stare.
Mine! I want to scream, but then Lisa pops into my head, and the guilt hits me full force. "Um, on the South side, you're best bet is the neighborhood around the University, it's pretty gentrified. But if you don't mind a commute, there's always the Western Suburbs close to where Sophie lives."
Daphne raises an eyebrow, "don't you live next door to Sophie and Carrie?" My mouth goes dry, and I need a drink of water, damn it, where's the damn Server with the water!
"Hey, are you ok? You look a little flushed right now." Her hand grabs mine, and her face shows concern.
"I'll be ok in a minute, I must be allergic to one of the ingredients, that's all."
She grabs her clutch and pulls out two Benadryl, "you never know when you'll need them," she says. She hands me the pills, and slides her glass of water to me. To cover my lie I pop the two capsules in my mouth, and raise her glass for a sip. As soon as the rim touches my lips I taste her lipstick, and once that happens, it's game over for me. Memories of Lisa making me over for the first time come crashing over me like a Tsunami. I squeeze my eyes shut, and carefully set down the glass as I fight to hold the tears in.
Daphne looks at me in a panic and whispers, "do you need an ambulance?"
"No, I whisper back hoarsely, listen Daphne, I like you, a lot, I like spending time with you, walking with you, and eating with you... But right now I'm in a really bad place, and need some time... I'm sorry, so very sorry."
I open my eyes thinking I'll find anger, or hurt, or maybe even pity in her eyes, but I see nothing but compassion, and that wounds me even deeper. Without a word she slides her chair back, takes my arm, and helps me to my feet. "I'll get the check, do I need to drive?" She asks softly, signaling the Server for the check.
"I'll get the check, that was the deal remember? I'll meet you at the car after I use the rest room." She nods, and walks over to speak to Soyria, who has a concerned look on her face.
'Two hundred dollars?' I think as I look at the bill, well it was really fucking good I guess. I drop three hundreds on the table and go to the men's room to wash my face. I step outside just as the Valet pulls up with the car, and Daphne climbs behind the wheel. I climb in to the passenger seat, face all blotchy, and we drive back to the Condo in silence, her hand never leaves my knee. She pulls into an empty space, and neither of us knows what to say, so I look at her, and mumble, "I'm sorry it has to be like this, but I'm carrying too much emotional baggage right now, and it's really not fair for you." I open the door and start to slide out of her car, maybe for the last time. Her hand grips my shoulder, and turns me back toward her, Daphne's eyes are staring out the windshield, at a point only she can see.
"I have something to say, will you please listen?" Her voice is low, calm, and full of pain. I settle back in the seat to listen.
"I've had a crush on you since the first time I saw you... I knew then you were the one for me."
"Daph..."
"Just hear me out, ok? I need to get this out... When Sophie left you for Carrie, I was the only one in my family who was happy! None of us knew she was gay, and they didn't understand why she broke up with you... But I thought I could be the one to take your pain away, be there for you... Love you. But you stopped coming around for a year, and when you finally came back, I saw you still loved her, and it hurt! I can't begin to tell you how much it hurt! So I hit the books, it was all I had left, and when I graduated high school, my only wish was for you to congratulate me, and give me a hug." Tears are flowing for both of us now as she continues, "I thought once I was was in your arms, I could kiss you, and you would fall in love with me... Talk about your fairy tale endings, right?"
"But you weren't there, not for graduation, or Thanksgiving, or even Christmas, you were in fucking Idaho! Sophie was there, Carrie was there, and they were HAPPY! God I hated seeing them together! But I got over it... I got over you! Or I thought I did... Until we spoke on the phone in November. And here we are! The last couple of weeks have been the best and worst of my life, Chris. I've finally had a chance to be alone with you, talk to you, and touch you. I know you feel what I feel, you can't deny it, but now instead of competing with my older, sexier sister, I have to compete with a ghost... I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I can't, I just can't do it any longer... Now, I have one month to decide where I am attending grad school... I'd like it to be Chicago, so we can be together..."
"Look, I'm not putting any pressure on you, if you can't so be it, but if you can, exorcise those demons you carry... I'm willing to give you one final chance... Now can you please get out of my car? Don't call me until you know what you want."
I watch her drive away in silence, ashamed of all the pain I've caused her, and of myself for thinking I had a monopoly on the pain caused by Lisa's death. I head upstairs and find Janet watching TV, Terry looking at his original drawing to find his mistake, and Larry surfing the web on his laptop. Jan looks up at my blotchy face, and tenses up in alarm, "hey, you ok Chris? You don't look so well!"
"I'm fine, just an allergic reaction to something I ate, that's all... Let me change and we can talk about what I'd like to see happen this weekend." I head into my bedroom to change, and return wearing my usual after work outfit of jeans and a sweatshirt.
I return to the "family" room and gather the team around. "Ok guys, the bad news is, we're a half a day behind schedule... The good news is... We're a half a day behind schedule." Everyone chuckles at that, then I continue, "seriously guys, you kicked ass last week, and thanks to your efforts, we're actually in good shape here... Tomorrow I'd like to get that pump tested, the main control board up and running, and have us ready for sea trials Monday morning, any questions?"
"What's the plan for Sunday?" Terry asks.
"That depends on how things go tomorrow, if we get everything squared away, you guys can have the day off while I take care of some paperwork... And I'll add, if we're done by two o'clock, dinner's on me... Terry, tomorrow you and Larry test the pump, and when you're done, you guys can call it a day. Jan, I need you to keep an eye on the electricians wiring the main control, while I'm with the Tug Captain and crew going over the plans for the trials... I'll join you as soon as I can."
"Oh great, I get stuck with the horny union guys!" Jan says in mock anger.
"This is Frisco, they're probably all gay, and would rather work with Larry anyway," I joke back.
The guys go back to doing what they were doing, and I step into the kitchen for a beer. Jan follows me, grabs a soda, and motions me outside. I join her at the table and she motions me to sit. "What's up?" I ask her.
"Are you sure you're ok? Frankly after seeing the look on your face when you saw your date, I'd hoped we wouldn't be seeing you tonight." She picks up her cigarettes and lights one up.
"Can I get one of those?" I ask, she looks at me strangely for a moment, then shrugs, pushing the pack across the small table. I light one up and look at her for a moment, "Jan," I say, "I know Stephanie asked you to keep an eye on me, and to make sure I didn't work too hard... But what happened tonight is personal, and not something that will affect the project. So forgive me for saying this, but it's not something I care to share with a co worker, so please, mind your own business."
Jan raises her hands and leans back, "fair enough, but I really thought better of you... You see, from my point of view, I thought after our last talk we were friends not just co workers... And since we're being frank, you look like you need someone to talk to."
I look at her a long moment, friends? I can't remember ever having friends at work, sure I went out with the guys from time to time, but there wasn't anyone I'd be willing to talk to on a personal level... Hell I had a hard enough time opening up to Lisa. Should I take a chance, or wait until tomorrow to call Carrie?
Fuck it! "You're right Jan, I'd like to think we are friends as well as co workers..."
"Chris, we are!"
"Yeah, we are... I'm sorry, it's just I've never made friends easily, especially at school, or work... My upbringing was rather unconventional."
"Chris, most brilliant people like yourself all seem to have one thing in common, you all lack social skills... No offense. That's not a criticism, I myself can't imagine what it's like to be head and shoulders smarter than your classmates, teachers, or co workers. Can I assume that despite your best efforts to fit in, eventually they start to feel threatened by your intelligence?"
I'm shocked, she gets it! She understands what it's like. "YES, then they start talking behind your back..."
"And pulling practical jokes," Jan continues, "Chris, I'm a woman in a male dominated field... I understand."
"But you don't feel threatened by me?" I ask her, totally forgetting about Daphne, and Lisa.
"Me? HELL NO! You're only the second person I've worked for that thinks of me as a engineer first, and a woman second! I love working with you, you take my contributions seriously!"
"Of course I do! Who wouldn't? Jan, if there's one thing I'm sure of, Argonne really knows how to choose talented people."
"So, you wanna tell me what happened to you tonight?" She asks, bringing the conversation back to the present.
"Sure, let me a grab another beer first... Want anything?"
"I guess if we're going to talk for a while, yeah, I'll take a beer."
I head inside and grab a couple of beers, pop them open, and return outside. I hand Jan a beer and settle in to tell a story. Jan tilts her bottle and taps mine in a silent toast. "This will probably shock you a bit, but please hear me out, and try to remember I was raised unconventionally, ok?"
"It's your story, my friend, I'm here to lend an ear."
I take a deep breath and start, "My sister and I were raised by straight up, old school hippies... We're talking dope smoking, acid dropping, free love type of people. Whenever I could, I'd go spend my summers on my Grandparents ranch in Montana. My twin sister, on the other hand, preferred to stay with my parents, either following the Dead, or visiting nudist camps... Shit like that, so while I was learning about responsibility, handling finances, and proper manners, she was learning how to be a free spirit, and how to make friends, but during the school year we only had each other, so we became inseparable."
"I take it your sister has something to do with Daphne?"
"Indirectly, yeah... When I finished high school I was accepted into Cal Tech, and Carrie..."
"Your sister?"
"Yeah, she decided to go to Berkley."
"Naturally," Jan says and we both chuckle.
"Well, anyway, we've always been very close, so I'd come over to visit every weekend, and we would hang out. Two weeks into our Sophomore year, I was visiting Carrie when I was approached by Sophie."
"Who's Sophie?"
"Sophie is... Well this is where things get, strange for most people... Sophie is Daphne's older sister."
"And she hit on you?"
Sigh, "it's complicated... Sophie walked up to me with a big, bright smile, introduced herself, and asked me if I was a new student. You must understand that I was the skinny "geek" with the gay sister in high school, so you could imagine how many girls would even talk to me, let alone consider a date with me."
"Carrie's gay?" Jan asks in surprise.
"Oh, ah yeah, sorry, but anyway, here I am, a socially awkward bookworm, and this beautiful girl actually talks to me! She invited me for coffee, and I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven. She asked me out for a date, and we started seeing each other regularly. She introduced me to her family, got me free meals at the family diner, and they welcomed me as one of their own."
"Can you imagine how I felt? I had a beautiful girlfriend with an awesome family... For the first time in my life I felt normal, you know? So things are going great, I've been dating Sophie seriously for six weeks, and I introduce her to Carrie."
"Let me guess... Carrie hated her, and blamed her for trying to keep you from her."
"Ah, no! The following Friday I got out of class early so I went to the campus to surprise her and found them in bed together."
"Are you fucking serious? Your own sister stole your girlfriend? Wow! I'd have killed them."
"It's not quite like that... I convinced myself to believe Sophie used me to get close to Carrie, and I've been angry about it for a long time, in fact I cut all ties with them for over a year... Now, I'm not so sure... Anyway my Grandfather died, followed closely by my Grandmother, and I was devastated... Grandpa and I were very close. Carrie came to Cal Tech to comfort me because of how close I was with them, and begged my forgiveness. She explained that it just happened, and they had something special, at first I didn't care, and couldn't find the heart to forgive them, until I saw how they were together at the services. Sophie was there for Carrie the way I used to be, and now that Grandpa was gone, I really needed my best friend more than ever, so I forgave them and let them back into my life."
"And Daphne?"
"By this time I found out Carrie and Sophie left Berkley to become flight attendants, they both wanted to travel, and see the world, so even though I forgave them, they weren't in California any longer. One day I was feeling very lonely and depressed, so I went to Sophie's family's diner, and to my surprise, I was welcomed back like a long lost son. So I started hanging out with her brother's, and helping out at the diner as needed... I didn't do it for the money, Grandpa took care of that, I did it for Mama and Papa Doukis, Sophie's parents."
"Is that when you fell in love with Daphne?"
"No, in fact until this project I barley remember her... She was still in high school, and I was the big college junior back then. So I hung out with her brother's surfing, and partying on the beach for three years. I stayed at Cal Tech and got my Master's, and finally came to work for Argonne in Idaho."
"Ok you lost me, what about Daphne, isn't she an old girlfriend?"
"Sorry, I know this seems confusing, no she isn't... After Lisa was killed, you know what happened, well when Sophie found out I was coming back to Frisco, she called her family to give them the heads up. Arrangements were made, and the next thing I know, I'm having dinner with the entire family. My guess is Sophie felt I needed the love and support of family while I was grieving. Turns out she was right, I did need them more than I knew... But what I didn't know, until last night that is, was that Daphne had a crush on me back in my school days, and honestly thought I'd ask her out after Sophie dumped me."
"Oh shit! High school crush on a college guy dumped by the older sister, That's brutal! And you were clueless she even existed, right?"
"Pretty much, I remember she was always at the diner, but we didn't really interact much, she was kinda shy, and wore braces and glasses, and I was too busy chasing beach bunnies, you know?"
"So what happened last night? I mean, all three of us could see the mutual attraction between you, in fact we started a pool to determine how late you'd show up tomorrow."
"We were eating dinner, and really having a good time when she told me she's thinking of attending grad school at Chicago... She asked me to recommend a safe neighborhood for an apartment, and memories of Lisa getting shot in Chicago came flooding in, and I kinda lost it."
"Oh Boss, I'm so sorry!" Jan says sympathetically.
"Thanks... But anyway, she brought me back home, and in the lot drops the crush thing on me, and how much pain I've caused her by not asking her out. She tells me first she had to compete with her older, sexier sister, and now a ghost, and she couldn't deal with it any longer. She told me she has one month to decide where she goes to grad school, and if I could manage to exorcise my demons, we could give a relationship a chance."
"Do you want that?"
"Very much... Jan, when she touches me, I feel sparks, like I did with Lisa, only Daphne and I have much more in common, we spent one whole date just walking, and talking."
"That poor girl! She must be torn up inside... But Chris, you shouldn't be feeling guilty, this is not your fault you know."
"It's not?"
"Of course it isn't... You were a college junior, and she was still a high school student! How could you possibly have asked her out? She was under age, and practically a sister to you!"
"And she knows damn well your still mourning your Fiancee's murder, so I personally think her timing sucks, but I do understand she's under a deadline here... It seems to me that someone is giving you a second chance, and the choice is completely in your hands. If I were in your shoes, I'd take next week to really decide if your ready to let Lisa go, and move on with Daphne."
"And if I'm not?"
"Tell her as soon as you get back... Don't wait the four weeks, let her get on with her life." I close my eyes and nod, Jan is right, and it does feel good to talk to an outsider. I motion for another cigarette and she nods, I light it and we sit there for a few minutes.
"So, now that you know what a mess my life's been, how about you?"
"It's getting late, and it's a long story as well, tell you what, I'll tell you over dinner Sunday, frankly I'm getting tired of hanging out with Larry and Terry."
"Is there something going on between you I need to know about?"
"Nah, nothing like that, we're fine professionally... It's just Larry can be an ass sometimes, he's not nearly as funny as he thinks, and all Terry wants to do is eat seafood! I just need a change of pace, and you really know this town."
"Sounds good... Craving a good steak, aren't you?" I ask with a knowing smile. Jan smiles back and points her finger at me in acknowledgment.
Saturday goes smoother than expected, the Captain and crew are professionals, and understand our needs perfectly. Larry and Terry have a minor electrical problem with the pump, but it's quickly sorted out, and Janet's "doing a great job supervising the electricians, so I stay back and let her do her thing. We wrap things up by noon, so as promised, I take them to Betelnut for dinner.
Meanwhile...
"Sophie, hi, it's Daphne... Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course you can Sweetie, I always have time for my baby sister." Sophie says, surprised that Daphne is calling. They've never been close, but Sophie never understood why, "what's up?"
"I've been seeing Chris since he's come out here..."
"You have?... That's WONDERFUL! I'm so happy for you... He's such a great guy, and you two deserve each other!" Daphne, overwhelmed by her sister's response, starts weeping.
"What's wrong Baby? Did he do something to upset you?" Sophie asks in alarm, and motions Carrie to join her. She switches her phone to speaker as she mouths 'my sister,' to Carrie.
"Yes, or rather Lisa did... How can I compete against a ghost?" Daphne wails, drawing a wince from Sophie.
"Let's start from the beginning Sweetie, ok?" Sophie says soothingly, so Daphne does.
"When you called Mama to tell her he was coming, I volunteered to pick him up and bring him to the diner, I gave him a hug, and it shocked us, literally!"
"Uh oh," Carrie whispers.
"We had dinner, and when I drove him home, I asked him out for a drink. So last Saturday we spent the afternoon walking around the Marina. We ate at Betelnut, then stopped for a couple of beers. He said he was wiped out, so we called it an early night and walked back to the condo."
"So how did it go, was he withdrawn, or cold?"
"No! He was funny, and we talked forever! I thought it was going great, until we got back to the condo and I tried to kiss him, he pulled away and told me it was too soon."
"Oh Daphne, I'm so sorry, I should have warned you he was having a rough time, please accept my apology."
Sophie, apologizing? Wow, this is a first, Daphne was expecting her to defend Chris. "It's not your fault Soph, I guess I should have called you for advice, you know him better than anyone here... But anyway, we went out again last night, and I took him to Aziza for dinner."
"Aziza? Wow, I'm impressed Daph, great choice! How did it go?"
"It was dreamy! Papa called and got us a table, the place was packed, and he looked so good in his suit, I felt like a Princess in my dress and heels."
"So what went wrong?"
"We were just finishing dessert and I asked him about a good neighborhood in Chicago to live in, and he started getting blotchy."
"Wait, you're moving to Chicago? What happened to Princeton, or Yale?"
"Papa wants me to go to Princeton! I would rather go to the University of Chicago, they have a better business program... And I thought it would be nice to have family around, you know?"
Sophie tears up with happiness and says, "yes it would, we'd love it if you were close enough to get to know the baby."
"I'd like that, a lot... But to get back to last night, Chris said it must be an allergic reaction to something he ate, so I handed him a couple Benadryl, and my water glass. He swallows the pills, takes a drink, makes a strained face, and starts crying, I've never seen anything like it! I asked if he needed an ambulance, and he declined, and asked to go home. He paid the check, and after soothing Soyria, I drove him home... In the car he apologized and told me he was in a very bad place right now, and tried to get out. I made the mistake of stopping him, and telling him about the feelings I've had for years... How I thought I couldn't with you, and now I can't compete with a ghost... Soph, I just want him to kiss me! Is that too much to hope for?"
All three are crying now, Sophie is trying to soothe Daphne, while Carrie rubs Sophie's back. "No Sweetie, it's not too much to ask... But I have an idea, if you still have an open mind, do you?"
"I'll do ANYTHING, just to kiss him once."
"Good, now I'm going to let you talk to Carrie... She's knows him best. She'll tell you EXACTLY how you should handle Chris from now on... Ok?"
"Yes," comes the weak reply.
Carrie drys her tears, steadies her voice and says, "hello my Pretty! Here's what you'll need to do to land Chris once and for all!"
_____________________________
http://www.extra-life.org/
|
Blackmailed into Submission The Aftermath - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread