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Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 7:09:08 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		This is an offshoot of a thread in the Ask a Mistress forum, that I didn't want to hijack, but wanted to see some feedback on, from everyone. A boy was asking advice about dressing up for a fetish party and what to wear. In part of his post, he said that the club he'd be attending had a strict dress code of "either formal wear, full uniform, leather, latex, vinyl ONLY. NO exceptions." I asked if anyone took issue with this kind of dress code for a lifestyle event. One of the Mistresses replied it wasn't a lifestyle event so much as maybe a private club event. Now, a private club, I wouldn't have this issue with. (In fact, if someone took issue, my answer would be to simply not join - not go.)

But if it were a lifestyle event, open to the general lifestyle population, I would take issue with such a dress code. (Especially since I am a big time pajama fetishist.) It seems a bit too restrictive based on wardrobes. Right off the top of my head, I notice that it leaves no room for those dressed in rubber or PVC. It also leaves no room for age players that dress in diapers or little girl/boy garb, or for "comfort fetishists" that enjoy cotton, fleece, velvet, and the softer materials (unless done in the context of formal or uniform wear). It leaves no room for humiliation dress-up, such as a slave forced to wear a clown suit. Or furries. Or any costuming that doesn't fall under "formal or uniform" (such as pirates and religious robes). And of course the thought crossed my mind of people who are simply unable to dress up to the standards of the dress code. Folks may have disabilities or ailments that prevent wearing corse, tight materials (inflammatory psoriasis comes to mind). Or maybe one's size is an issue. Or finances simply don't permit extravagent wardrobes.

Should all of these people not be permitted in? Now, I come back to, if it's a private club, then sure. I have no problem with private clubs/venues/groups setting any rules they want. I'm all for exclusionary groups. And if an exclusionary group wants to boot people at the door for having a mole on their arm, more power to them. I personally have been denied access to one group I knew I would fit in very well. The group had the same basic beliefs, principles, and ideals. But they didn't allow parents. Disappointing, but... Their right. Their choice.

But what about general "lifestyle events" that aren't private clubs, or who advertise their events as "open to all lifestylists/fetishists" or simply don't mention any type of exclusionary rule or private membership? Should they be permitted to set an exclusionary dress code? Does it even make sense for a group of people who end up half naked by the end of the evening to even have a dress code?

This is an issue I could easily play Devil's Advocate on, and argue from either side. I could, without a blink, adocate for or against either side of the coin. I'm just curious how others feel about it.

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IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).
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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 7:27:00 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Nice timing.  BR just last week had a meeting on "dressing for pleasure" and I got to work with the presenter on discussing dress codes.

I think a club can set whatever dress tone they want to set- private or public.  The host can set whatever standards they want to set.  So if you aren't the host, then accept it or don't go.

Your issues can all be dealt with in one simple concept- formal wear.

It doesn't matter what ailments you have, if you're up to going out to a public party, you're up to putting on a formal outfit.  And there are formal outfits to fit EVERY size and body shape.  Personal I think a lot of people look MUCH better in tuxedo's than they do in leather and latex.

Dress codes cut out a lot of stuff absolutely.  But, presumably, that's exactly what the host WANTS.  It also cuts out the scruffy jeans (which can be considered quite hot in gay bars) and oily t-shirts and not brushed hair. 

Dress codes are set to help create a specific atmosphere and comfort level.  You can talk to the host about it and suggest other things that they may have overlooked, but otherwise, as a guest you accept the host's right to make the dress code whatever they want.

If a venue claims to be "open to all" and yet somehow sets the dress code to eliminate "not all" then I think you have a problem.  But I've never in my time come across a venue that claimed they were "open to all" and then cut out people.  They've either said "We're only open to these people" or it was a specific special event.

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 7:35:30 AM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

But what about general "lifestyle events" that aren't private clubs, or who advertise their events as "open to all lifestylists/fetishists" or simply don't mention any type of exclusionary rule or private membership?

If they are advertising as "open to all lifestyle/fetishists" then it is my belief that they should stand behind their advertisment with no exclusionary practises unless they advertise with a caveat i.e., "open to all lifestyle/fetishists except dominants that wear pink fuzzy bunny slippers with green plaid flannel jammie bottoms" (which would exclude me immediately *sighs*)
quote:
Should they be permitted to set an exclusionary dress code?

If the exclusions and parameters are openly listed and adhered to for all, then certainly; set a dress code if that is the hosts' desire. It is the right of any that feel excluded to host their own event i.e., "Pink fuzzy bunny slipper wearing Dommes and the squirrel suited boys that adore them annual spring fling"
quote:
Does it even make sense for a group of people who end up half naked by the end of the evening to even have a dress code?

If it was a public event clothing would stay on in the countries I am familiar with so can't comment from a personal knowledge. In countries where public nudity is allowed and encouraged at public events, it would appear a bit ridicolous  to even worry about a dress code.
 
I can see that either side of this could be debated, but personally I agree with what you have stated on exclusionary practises not accomodating "open lifestyle" events in that the moment an exclusion is listed it is no longer (by definition) "open". So after this ramble I suppose it boils down to language, as many things do.



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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 7:57:26 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		I think event organizers can set whatever standards they want to create whatever kind of atmosphere they want. If people don't like it then they don't have to attend. If there aren't any events in one's area that meet one's needs then one should feel free to start their own event. It seems pretty straight forward to me. 

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 8:22:29 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Some cities have what would basically be considered a dress code, and some owners of nightly rental places have the right to dictate, to an extent, what happens on their property.  Could simply be that the organizers were simply trying to avoid trouble.

Just an idea.

- Dustyn


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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 8:28:11 AM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline 		Most of our enforceable dress codes were directed at people attending our local munches.  We asked that people not wear fetish attire because we live in a relatively small, conservative city.
 
Personally, I don't understand the difference between a fetish party or a lifestyler's event.  I would imagine that both are sponsored by private individuals or organizations.  If this is the case, they are within their rights to establish a dress code, even if it doesn't seem fair.
 
I almost always attend parties and other social events just wearing all black (street clothes).  My being dressed that way never seemed to offend anyone, even in the case of a Halloween party.  And If they wanted me to wear a costume and I wasn't comfortable wearing one, I would probably not attend.
 
 

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 10:14:28 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		My understanding of the event in question is that it's sponsored by a fetish clothing store, and therefore is mainly an event to feature fetish clothing.  It is at a club, so setting specific criteria is perfectly within their rights, in my opinion.  I was in the Orlando area back in January, and saw that there was going to be that same fetish party, but didn't have any appropriate fetish clothing to attend.  It would have been fun, but no great loss that I couldn't attend.  If I go back I will most likely bring something with me, but I would be attending mainly to experience a fetish club atmosphere for the first time, rather than looking for a "lifestyle" gathering.

Be well,
Julie

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 11:02:06 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
I agree 100% with LA here.

"So if you aren't the host, then accept it or don't go. "

Absolutely.

"if you're up to going out to a public party, you're up to putting on a formal outfit."

Indeed.

"Dress codes cut out a lot of stuff absolutely. But, presumably, that's exactly what the host WANTS."

YES!


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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 12:28:39 PM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		Businesses claim the right to dictate clothes requirements but they actually have no such right. Failing to admit someone who is at least minimally attired in something like t-shirt, shorts, and sandals is actually discriminatory. The degree to which you want to fight this is up to you.

As far as fetish events put on by fetish clothing stores it must be obvious that part of their motive is to sell you their expensive gear. Personally, I find it tedious - it's like the whole event is a commercial for them. Big whoop.

Private parties can do as they please in my view. Legally private clubs tend to fall under the rules applying to any public venue so that's different yet again - for example some men's clubs have been legally forced to admit women.

YMMV...



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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 12:44:52 PM   
badpaliden


Posts: 96
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		ok.. maybe I lost  the point of this thread from the start.?? It was about what if ...right? so its not a case of ....It was.. just what if?
have I followed  the whole original  text?

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 4:19:59 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		The person/group doing the work gets to set the rules, you get to decide to go or not go.

Simple as that.

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 4:33:30 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I'm lost - which event are we talking about?

  1. A fetish bash where all who are invited are dressed in fetish clothing?
  2. A normal, vanilla, bash, where all can wear what they so wish?
  3. A private club where the owners dictate what is worn?
  4. All of the above?
The situation is dictated by the event you are attending is it not?


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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 4:43:02 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		As someone who deals with people complaining about parties not being created for and around them, I strongly believe that those doing the actual work of creating an event get to set the rules surrounding that event.  Don't like the rules?  Either get involved and change them or do the work of creating an event celebrating your kink

This applies to anything from a cat show to a high protocol kink event.

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 9:03:19 PM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Many events have a similar dress code; others don't.  Some offer a discount for those that meet the dress code or theme for the evening.
 
IMO, if one doesn't agree with the dress code, one doesn't go.  I've always figured that the organizer gets to set the rules.  People in disagreement with those rules are free to attend events that suit them better, or even to run an event themselves.
 
I would say that in this example (my opinion only) that latex and rubber can be used interchangeably (as many people do), as can vinyl and PVC (polyvinyl chloride.)
 
Tasha

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 10:06:54 PM   
pollux


Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

This is an offshoot of a thread in the Ask a Mistress forum, that I didn't want to hijack, but wanted to see some feedback on, from everyone. A boy was asking advice about dressing up for a fetish party and what to wear. In part of his post, he said that the club he'd be attending had a strict dress code of "either formal wear, full uniform, leather, latex, vinyl ONLY. NO exceptions."


I just noticed that the folks at FF have actually posted the dress code now, so I should probably post that up so there's no misunderstanding.  It's a little broader than I indicated in the other thread (which was basically a rehash of a conversation I had over the phone with someone there)

quote:


Our dress code is strictly enforced! Please be advised that having a ticket does not guarantee you admission into our party unless you adhere to our dress code! We command the following attire:
  • Latex/Rubber
  • Vinyl/PVC
  • Leather
  • Sexy Uniforms (sexy nurse, school girls, officers... no medical scrubs or military fatigues)
  • Ultra-Formal (tux, no simple black suits)
  • Victorian
  • Kinky Drag
  • Fetish Glam
  • Cyber Erotic
  • Retro (corsets, garters, girdles, Betty Page-style).
NO JEANS, NO all-black streetclothes or normal clubwear!

http://www.fetishfactory.com/anniversary/dresscode.html

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 11:37:15 PM   
PrincessinLatex


Posts: 191
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		I guess I'm one of the weird ones. I wish that the event sponsors would enforce the dress code rules more strictly. I've been to the FF events and I think Glenn and Donna do a great job. I've been to some local events where they let some of *anybody* in.

P

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RE: Fetish Dress Codes. - 5/22/2006 11:48:43 PM   
MISTRESSuOBEY


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		Well, in my peronsal opinion I think youre right. I suppose the problem lies in what is it.. private or not? I'd love to say that clothing type wasn't an option regardless.. and you make a good point in the types of people with the types of clothing that are available or not to everyone. Like I said.. there needs to be a definate answer as to whether this is a private party or not. :)
 
Mistress    
 
P.S.
GOD I love vinyl :)

< Message edited by MISTRESSuOBEY -- 5/22/2006 11:53:37 PM >

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