RE: Watchout for the term "Single"

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (Full Version)

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myotherself -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 2:21:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carouselambra You tell me that I'm better, You just hate yourself. Errrrrmmmm...huh?????

crazyml -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 2:25:23 AM)
Personally, I think your OP does contain a really important warning - Often, in the rush of chemistry that kicks off when we find someone who seems compatible we forget to do things that would otherwise seem to be utterly common sense. For those of us who've been schlepping around BDSM for ages it might seem completely obvious, but for newcomers it's one of those things that is worth being reminded of. This was disappointing though... quote: ORIGINAL: Carouselambra You tell me that I'm better, You just hate yourself. Unless I'm reading this wrongly, and if I am then I'm sorry, but it does seem as if you're descending to the same tactics as the people you criticise, which is a shame, especially when its in response to a posting that was really very supportive.

myotherself -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 2:31:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml This was disappointing though... quote: ORIGINAL: Carouselambra You tell me that I'm better, You just hate yourself. Unless I'm reading this wrongly, and if I am then I'm sorry, but it does seem as if you're descending to the same tactics as the people you criticise, which is a shame, especially when its in response to a posting that was really very supportive. I just assumed it was a drive-by crazy. I'm too busy loving myself to be anything other than vaguely amused [:D]

crazyml -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 2:46:19 AM)
Grin!

Phoenixpower -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 2:51:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: poise Heck, some stretch the truth even further by claiming they are dominant. [:-] yeah, and on top of that they can even post pictures, showing them to be perfectly healthy (confident sitting there with one foot on their lap) despite that they are wheelchair bound due to spina bifida since birth [8\|] ...or stated their figure in lbs when in reality they should have chosen kg, to reflect on their real weight [8\|] People do lie and deceive, gosh, who would have thought that [8\|] Anyhow, good luck OP [:)]

wandersalone -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 3:12:34 AM)
FR I haven't been around much and maybe my CM hazmat suit is a but rusty (or whatever the hell happens to hazmat suits) however I can't actually understand the level of snarkiness in response to the OP. Well actually I can but it reminds me why I am glad that a) I am not new to the forums and b) why so much of threads these days is just skimmed by me. As someone else said, I took it as a "ah bollocks, I screwed up" kind of posting rather than a OMG all you innocent peoples of CM, people is liars!!!!!!!! I totally confess that I was dating someone for four months last year who said he was separated only to find out later that his version of separated was sharing the same home AND sharing the bed. This was someone whom I had visited at work, had his home phone number and could call whenever I wanted and had been to his home (I obviously need to learn to open cupboards and drawers to find the hidden photos) I have an even more mortifying admission but will leave that one to the I admit thread [:D]

SailingBum -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 3:15:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wandersalone FR I haven't been around much and maybe my CM hazmat suit is a but rusty (or whatever the hell happens to hazmat suits) however I can't actually understand the level of snarkiness in response to the OP. Well actually I can but it reminds me why I am glad that a) I am not new to the forums and b) why so much of threads these days is just skimmed by me. As someone else said, I took it as a "ah bollocks, I screwed up" kind of posting rather than a OMG all you innocent peoples of CM, people is liars!!!!!!!! I totally confess that I was dating someone for four months last year who said he was separated only to find out later that his version of separated was sharing the same home AND sharing the bed. This was someone whom I had visited at work, had his home phone number and could call whenever I wanted and had been to his home (I obviously need to learn to open cupboards and drawers to find the hidden photos) I have an even more mortifying admission but will leave that one to the I admit thread [:D] Geeze there you are!!! Thought you went and found a Studly man man ... You gotta dish the details BadOne

DesFIP -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 6:11:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml Personally, I think your OP does contain a really important warning - Often, in the rush of chemistry that kicks off when we find someone who seems compatible we forget to do things that would otherwise seem to be utterly common sense. For those of us who've been schlepping around BDSM for ages it might seem completely obvious, but for newcomers it's one of those things that is worth being reminded of. This was disappointing though... I don't know. This doesn't have anything to do with BDSM ino. It's something you learn in middle school, that people will lie to get what they want. A 20 year old I might accept just now acknowledging this truth, but from a woman old enough to collect social security? That's dangerously naive. If she's that clueless about people, you wonder how she survived all these years.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 6:27:21 AM)
I'm all for the less try to be less snarky to newer posters idea. And I really am trying to do that. However, I found the OP's post incredibly condescending and patronizing, and from others' comments, I am not the only one. I acknowledge that it can be very difficult, even if you have great communicator skills, to adequately convey your INTENT on any given post. When your post is just text on a screen, all the non-verbal communicative cues we rely on in real time don't exist. And that makes it much easier to be misunderstood in this format. But, I based some of my judgements about the OP's thread based on past posts. Again, I do not think I was the only one.

JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 7:44:15 AM)
I think honesty is the ONLY policy- if you are married and in an open-relationship that is understandable but damn, let's keep it real- it's only fair to everyone involved...and who knows, maybe your spouse would be more involved if you let him/ her know about your lifestyle, maybe not..who knows..

tj444 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 8:38:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself But don't let this stop you posting! Being on a public messageboard takes a bit of getting used to. In the beginning I would take every snarky comment as a personal insult. It's not - quite often people see stuff like this as 'pixels on a screen' rather than the person behind the post. Some of the people who (I felt) gave me a tough time at the start I now count as friends. Others turned out to be simply assholes who I can ignore without any problem at all. Stick around, see what goes on and get used to the way that people interact here. You can learn an awful lot from the forums! [:D] I found this quote today.. course it was written well before message boards.. [:D] "Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults." Benjamin Franklin

gorgeoushair -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 9:12:10 AM)
@ ChatteParfaitt (and wordly people) -- Thanks for considering being less snarky to newer poster ideas. Believe it or not, my post was intended to be helpful to those who are less worldly and experienced in finding partners on the Internet than you and others here, and/or who might need things said a few times or in a few different ways before they get it, and who visit or browse the Message Boards for hints, suggestions, ideas. (No, claiming to be single when one is not, is not peculair to BDSM, but such claims are not exclusive to vanilla sites, either.) And, if I did not make it clear in my OP, in my view, people who lie in one area to get what they want are probably willing to lie in other areas to get what they want, too. So claiming to be single to lure people in may be more than just a little red flag. I know that this, too, is not news -- however, someone might read it and a lightbulb may finally go on. (Congratulations to all those wordly people here who know all about life and liars, have been critical about how I should have figured all that out much, much earlier. I guess I was late. I only learned when I was nine, when I was lured by what seemed like an innocent lie away from a group of people in order to be molested. Thanks, to those people here who obviously got my original intent in the OP. I appreciate it.)

littlewonder -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 9:47:01 AM)
I just don't get it. At your age....I mean I can understand someone really young...but really? I mean have you been living in a cult or locked in a basement or something? I'm really not trying to be snarky...I'm not. I'm just confused. You've never ever had people lie to you throughout your time on this planet? I have people lie on almost a daily basis...from "the check is in the mail" to "yes, our food is excellent" when it really just sucks and they know it. Maybe I'm the naive one who doesn't understand how people go through life not knowing that people lie....everywhere....not just in real life but online and even in bdsm. Can someone explain that to me? Like I said, maybe it's me.......<scratches head in confusion>.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 10:03:08 AM)
I don't even know why this is in general bdsm anyway. It has nothing at all to do with anything bdsm related. I think I'll just leave it at that...[:-]

CeriseNin -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 10:06:47 AM)
If the "light bulb" doesn't go on until they read this thread, they've got much bigger problems and need not concern themselves with dating. By the time I was fifteen I knew that people lie for sex. People lie to get buyers. And people lie to get elected. I dunno, I'm just stunned that you truly believe you needed to warn people. It's a reflection on your life experience, or lack of. However, I admire your compassion for others.

CeriseNin -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 10:15:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx I don't even know why this is in general bdsm anyway. It has nothing at all to do with anything bdsm related. I think I'll just leave it at that...[:-] And nothing to do with being "worldly" either. I figured this crap out when I was just a teen, living a somewhat sheltered and religious life. I wasn't worldly, not by a long shot.

LadyPact -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 10:33:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx I don't even know why this is in general bdsm anyway. It has nothing at all to do with anything bdsm related. I think I'll just leave it at that...[:-] Well, since we can't get the personal ad moved off of the General Discussion board, the guy going to the bar who has an ad listed in Upcoming Events, and haven't seen the phone number removed from the post of the chick who wants to get gang banged, I'm betting this one is kind of on the low priority side.

Lockit -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 11:01:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair @ Lockit and everyone else, here, who believe that they are the arbitors of what should and should not be posted here and are making judgments -- rather your own projections -- on me and my life (something about which you have absolutely no knowledge). I guess in my "ignorance" I had no idea that you were in charge. I hope that everyone else here now realizes that they'd better check with and pass muster with you (all), first. Thanks for "educating" me. [8\|] I don't believe I ever said you couldn't post. I do believe I said how you were posting was why you were getting the responses you have gotten and if you didn't like it, then don't post like that. I don't care what you post. I was just sharing what your posts and posting history are coming off like and how I viewed it and from other posts, how others were viewing it. I gave my opinions on what you said. Don't come a teaching, when you haven't much to teach. This isn't the first thread you have started with nearly the same first sentences you started this one with. Believe it or not... As if no one else knew. How many have you enlightened here, with either thread? That ought to tell you something. How you word things ought to tell you something. We all get a bit of flack at some point around here. Mine was fifteen pages of a frigging war! I learned from it. Not learning what not to post or how I should post to stay out of a flame war... but how to prevent cyber stalkers... what to do with computer issues concerning hackers... that I had been correct in knowing mine had gotten in through a problem in microsoft messenger that had been fixed... after I got my stalker. I got beat down badly, but I stayed and kept on doing my thing. I can still get some flack for things I say and do, but I do take responsibility for what I say and do and correct myself when I do believe I need to. Sometimes I can come off bitchy simply because I speak so directly. I am not sure I want to change that. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. It depends. Had you come saying... I just got lied to by an attached man that said he was single, you may have gotten a far different response from me. I have been there. I might have shared a story of my own and I would have shown compassion. Then again, considering your posting history, I may have said... you are jumping into things you know little about and are setting the stage for the predators to jump right on you. Your own take on the lifestyle in some ways is something I see as iffy and my view of things will influence my comments. We don't all agree here thankfully. That is what makes for a lot of great things. However, if the same things keep coming up, we can look at it and decide if there is any truth to it and if it matters to us personally. If it doesn't... who cares? Do your thing... be happy... When people don't care for me, I look at it and wonder if I did something to promote that and if it is important to me. If not... fuck it. I don't see it as they are trying to tell me how to post or to run me off. They couldn't if I wanted to be here.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 11:08:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx I don't even know why this is in general bdsm anyway. It has nothing at all to do with anything bdsm related. I think I'll just leave it at that...[:-] Well, since we can't get the personal ad moved off of the General Discussion board, the guy going to the bar who has an ad listed in Upcoming Events, and haven't seen the phone number removed from the post of the chick who wants to get gang banged, I'm betting this one is kind of on the low priority side. Well, HELL! Where have I been? I always miss all the good stuff! pouts

GreedyTop -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/16/2011 11:11:53 AM)
iof course you do, Chrissy..ya missed ME dintcha??? LOL

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