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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 4:42:50 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I was a mom and a stay at home wife since I was 18. I still knew people lie.

Using that as an excuse is just lame.


It just means someone that isnt out about every day where liars are can as easily recognize when someone is lying or not, its just a difference in experience in learning the lies and methods used, some of which can be elaborate. Some married guys use a single male friends place for a day/night or even a week when his friend is on holiday,.. now how is she supposed to know the guy is married and pulling a fast one? I am sure men can come up with 1001 ways to fool your (potential) lover... So when can you trust anyone?

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 4:46:15 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Smarter types?

Nice...


smarter than me... cuz quite frankly i havent yet found a fool-proof way to tell that.. I am open to suggestions on how to spot those kinda cheaters..

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 4:54:43 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I dunno. For me it's always been rather easy for me to spot cheaters...ring tan, secret phone calls, the schedules they keep, stuff around the house, seems to screw up in their lies because he can't remember what he last told you, refuses to share information with you, seems to get angry anytime you ask him anything personal, smells....just some of the things off the top of my head.

But in the end it comes down to do they walk the talk? Does he do as he says? Is he trustworthy? If I even have to think those things when I'm with a guy, if I even have a small doubt in my mind that tells me one of two things....I either don't trust him because he's given me reasons to not trust him or I've become jaded and I probably should get my own issues in place before I date.



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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 4:55:24 PM   
Lockit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Smarter types?

Nice...


smarter than me... cuz quite frankly i havent yet found a fool-proof way to tell that.. I am open to suggestions on how to spot those kinda cheaters..


That is a whole thread in itself. There are many ways to try to detect a lie and each situation and person can nearly be blind in some situations and require different things. There are people that will lie effectively and fool most people. The fact is, that people lie and misrepresent themselves and it isn't a dark secret known only to a few. That is what the comments were about... not how to tell when someone is lying. Just that they do... and the headline warning.

A good con man is going to work over some pretty bright people. Been there myself.


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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 4:58:02 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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Status: offline 		dammit Lockit got there first.

< Message edited by zephyroftheNorth -- 9/16/2011 4:59:20 PM >

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:02:16 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		First My appreciation to Lockit for actually getting where I was coming from.  I've worked with too many women who faced real adversity to fall for the sympathy ploy bullsh*t.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
lol That doesnt in any way mean that you dont have a longterm girlfriend (not living with you) that you want to cheat on.. I am not interested in those kinda guys either.. Now ya all smarter types tell me how you would find that out..

Well, here's a thought........

Maybe, don't hop into bed with somebody all that quick.  Meet his friends, family, and neighbors to get a clue about who all else he's involved with.  Open your mouth and ask people outright.  If they lie, ok, that's not your own fault.  At least you made the attempt.  When you're having that talk about STIs and such, maybe it will come up then.

Let Me guess.  I'm the bad guy here for saying use your flipping head.


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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:10:43 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I dunno. For me it's always been rather easy for me to spot cheaters...ring tan, secret phone calls, the schedules they keep, stuff around the house, seems to screw up in their lies because he can't remember what he last told you, refuses to share information with you, seems to get angry anytime you ask him anything personal, smells....just some of the things off the top of my head.

But in the end it comes down to do they walk the talk? Does he do as he says? Is he trustworthy? If I even have to think those things when I'm with a guy, if I even have a small doubt in my mind that tells me one of two things....I either don't trust him because he's given me reasons to not trust him or I've become jaded and I probably should get my own issues in place before I date.



hmmm, well, thats the thing,.. if you think people lie to you every day and you cant even trust a waitress on the quality of the food.. well, I would not want to be that untrusting and i dont trust anyone.. but most times it doesnt matter to me since i dont rely on asking a waitress about the food or various other things. I dont trust realtors to tell me the truth either and do my own due dilligence regardless (which very few people do). Same thing with Doctors advice, any advertisement, etc.. but i still can not tell if a guy is in a relationship with a longtime girlfriend not living with him, so just cuz Popeye's place looks single doesnt mean he actually is. That was my point.

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:17:31 PM   
Lockit


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Status: offline 		There are people who can lie right under your nose, from the same building, city or long distance. The thing is... when you ask those that were lied to, didn't you see something along the line that indicated something... most say they did, but they didn't listen to their own inner voice. You don't have to be jaded to be able to see a lie or mistrust everyone you meet. You just have to be honest with yourself, balanced enough not to fall for a bunch of shit and aware. Sure... someone at some point may slip past your radar, but typically there was at least a small sign and in an attempt to not be jaded or in lying to yourself for whatever reason... you miss it. Smart people start listening to that inner voice before they get in too deep.




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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:25:15 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
lol That doesnt in any way mean that you dont have a longterm girlfriend (not living with you) that you want to cheat on.. I am not interested in those kinda guys either.. Now ya all smarter types tell me how you would find that out..

Well, here's a thought........

Maybe, don't hop into bed with somebody all that quick.  Meet his friends, family, and neighbors to get a clue about who all else he's involved with.  Open your mouth and ask people outright.  If they lie, ok, that's not your own fault.  At least you made the attempt.  When you're having that talk about STIs and such, maybe it will come up then.

Let Me guess.  I'm the bad guy here for saying use your flipping head.


You're funny. I never said i would hop into bed all that quick. On another thread i said if a guy wants me he will have to wait a long time, none of that in-the-sack-by-date-3 nonsense... I was told that most guys would dump me.. lol So it seems they want to test ya out in the sack (at some point) before introducing you to anyone... which sorta makes sense too, cuz compatible sex is important to a good relationship.. and most older guys have already had the wifey that was giving bjs and sex until she got the ring on the finger then that was the end of it, so, I can understand them not wanting to fall into that trap again..

And if he doesnt introduce you to said family, friends, neighbors, then what? bang on their door?... (now that screams "stalker" to most folks)

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:33:48 PM   
BLUE56


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		Ok Ladys..here is a secret from the book of men..LOL if they are busy on new years eve..sweetest day..Valentines day and the day day each year ( prolly wifes birthday )..then they are NOT single..Now dont tell anyone I spilled the beans..

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:36:45 PM   
BLUE56


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Status: offline 		That was poz'd to read..busy one day..same day each year...As since this my first post..I surly dont understand the vanilla ice cream by me..LOL

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:37:01 PM   
littlewonder


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quote:

And if he doesnt introduce you to said family, friends, neighbors, then what? bang on their door?... (now that screams "stalker" to most folks


Then you walk away because he's just told you that you're not important enough to him to introduce you to those people who are close to him.




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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:37:43 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

There are people who can lie right under your nose, from the same building, city or long distance. The thing is... when you ask those that were lied to, didn't you see something along the line that indicated something... most say they did, but they didn't listen to their own inner voice. You don't have to be jaded to be able to see a lie or mistrust everyone you meet. You just have to be honest with yourself, balanced enough not to fall for a bunch of shit and aware. Sure... someone at some point may slip past your radar, but typically there was at least a small sign and in an attempt to not be jaded or in lying to yourself for whatever reason... you miss it. Smart people start listening to that inner voice before they get in too deep.

Yes, I do listen to my inner voice, all the time.

There is actually lie detector software for your computer that will analyze the stress in a persons voice, supposedly 85% accurate. Originally developed about 5 years ago to help spot terrorists. Only $100 too so not expensive. I have known about it for several years now, it would be interesting to use, not just for dating guys to find out if they are in a relationship but for a variety of other situations as well. (I am sure there are other versions/copycats out too)

Now some people might think using that bit of technology is going a bit too far..

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:40:28 PM   
FirmhandKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Smarter types?

"Slightly more cunning and despicable" is too long to write. 

Firm


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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:42:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		 
Funny, am I?  You're such a cute, poor, pathetic,  little tit mouse.

I've been poly-fidelity for a number of years. Needing dick doesn't even enter My mind.  Even when I didn't have men on call, getting My pussy wet didn't matter to Me.

I don't think I've ever spent a day when men didn't want Me.  Any chick can get fucked if they want.  Having this attitude makes all of these things rather simple.

If he doesn't introduce you?????   So the fuck what?  There are a dozen other men around the corner.

Shit.  If a man can't live up to your standards...... Get another one.  There are three billion of them on the planet.  Too many fish in the sea.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 9/16/2011 5:44:00 PM >

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:44:10 PM   
PeonForHer


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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

And if he doesnt introduce you to said family, friends, neighbors, then what? bang on their door?... (now that screams "stalker" to most folks


Then you walk away because he's just told you that you're not important enough to him to introduce you to those people who are close to him.





Ah. OK, I'll watch out for that test, then. After the GF before got threatened with a punch by one of my brothers and it led to a fight between him and me, I didn't want to introduce the next one to any of my family at all. That fight was the last straw. I didn't want to expose her to all the crap going on in my family at the time. My GF was too important to me.




< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 9/16/2011 5:46:35 PM >

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:47:40 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

Now some people might think using that bit of technology is going a bit too far..


And not only that, it's a bit impractical.

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:50:48 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

And if he doesnt introduce you to said family, friends, neighbors, then what? bang on their door?... (now that screams "stalker" to most folks


Then you walk away because he's just told you that you're not important enough to him to introduce you to those people who are close to him.

yes, of course. At some point you would have to make that decision. I dont think most people introduce their girlfriend to family, friends etc unless they are pretty serious about each other so until he decides if he's definately in or out,.. he's not likely to do that. And especially if he has kids that could become emotionally attached to the girlfriend. Most women wont do that either with their kids.

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:54:31 PM   
CeriseNin


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Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline 		*fast reply*

Interesting points wrt introductions to family.

If a woman won't introduce a me to the family or her friends, I just move on. If after we get serious she won't introduce me to her family, I'll ask why. Maybe she's still in the closet - - OK, but if she dances around, or claims she will soon and it never happens, then I just walk away from the relationship. Maybe she has a girlfriend, maybe she doesn't, maybe her reason is solid - - I won't hang around to find out. Chances are, whatever it is has drama that I have no desire to get involved with.


< Message edited by CeriseNin -- 9/16/2011 5:55:40 PM >

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RE: Watchout for the term "Single" - 9/16/2011 5:55:11 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		that's why I said those close to him Peon...it doesn't have to be family...it can be any people he finds important in his life.

If he refuses to introduce you to those people either he's embarrassed by you or you're not that important to him.

And as for not introducing to your kids, I never seemed to have that problem. People were always constantly in and out of my life. I would introduce just about everyone to my daughter. Most times I just introduced them as friends.

When I met Master I just told my daughter he was a guy I was getting to know to see if we liked each other enough for something more. By the "something more" happened he'd already been around enough for her to realize what he was to me. Then again I've never really hid anything from my daughter when I was dating. I was just honest.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 9/16/2011 5:58:45 PM >

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