|
KnightofMists -> RE: The dichotomy between mental health & the lifestyle (5/24/2006 8:23:15 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel
..........I will use my own personal judgment about people. If people need psychiatric help, I’ll tell them, but I won’t tell them because of some fetish.
People get into everything because of drives and needs. Life is complex. We could take things further and say everyone in BDSM or casual sex needs therapy if we generalize. I will keep my shots singular and let the shotgun blasts stay in Cheney’s dove field.
I agree, In the end it is our own personal judgement about people or more to the point about a particular individual. How do we respond to people that we see having a dyfunction, disorder or whatever label you wish to throw at them? If we are wrong, either way it could be messy. But, I suspect not to many people are going to want to keep a person in their life that has a unstable mental condition. It's a huge risk when Dominants try to bring stability to these unstable mental conditions. There is a huge difference between managing to suppress the root of the mental condition to managing to cope and resolve the root of the mental condition. A Dominant who is a layman in training of helping people with mental conditions has a much higher probability of doing the former than the latter. This is only a Time Bomb waiting to go off and it will go off sooner or later. Hopefully, any Dominant that has a person in their life that has mental conditions will know what is the right thing to do and will do it, whatever that path might be.
I also think individuals need to becareful in assigning any type mental label because of a specific behavior. Cutting is a label that for many is associated with a cry for help, emotional managing issues etc etc etc. However, like Cutting and a whole rath of other things, we can't look at it in isolation of just the behavior. The motivation of such behavior is a critical aspect to consider and is very much the determining factor and not the specific behavior. People also consider the consequences that specific behaviors result in. To often we consider these consequences in to narrow of a light. A cutter in a unhealthy way is often motivated to manage and suppress great emotional pain by doing the cutting. The consequence is the short lived success to that which is motivating them. However, their solution is a temporary. They will do it again and again, until the consequences become so damaging that they take their own life or until they learn to cope and resolve the issues that plague them without resorting to temporary measures.
A person, be they labeled as the Dominant or not, who becomes apart of another person's destructive path becomes an enabler. We often try to be supportive and helpful to individuals that we percieve has having a hard time of it. To often, in our need to be supportive and helpful, we actually become part of the problem and not part of the solution. Instead of assisting in the person in managing their feelings and issues. We become at risk of managing it for them. Slowly the person offsets their personal responsibilities on to this supportive individual. The unaware person can suddenly find them self in a Co-Dependent relationship. This relationship could appear as rather functional, but everytime the person with mental conditions percieves that they can't draw on their supportive partner in dealing with their issues alot of stress will occur. This stress will be ever present and is like a cancer that is very likely to grow. Since the solution is a dependent on beyond a person's control. They will attempt to control the person to maintain their dependency. This control can be very overt or it can be very manipulative and hidden. This relationship is not much different than the alcoholic and their drink. In fact, Co-dependency is a term often associated with addictions in general. Their is a huge difference between a Healthy InterDependent relationship and one that is based on a Co-Dependency issue. Often those on the outside will not even see it and even those that do are rather helpless to do anything until one or both see the problem for them selves.
As yourself, could you go on without your current partner(s)? Could you know happiness without them? Not that you could do this without alot of pain and anguish. But, you can see yourself moving forward and finding happiness again. But, not like the alcholic that finishes a bottle and runs to find the next one. But, like person in search of a fine Wine, they just will not settle for less than they want and they will not become driven at expense of all else to find this wine. It will come when it comes. In the meantime they live as happy as they can.
|
|
|
|
