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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 12:31:46 PM

BurntKitty

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Might want to check out the local scene.

Good luck in your search!

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 12:31:47 PM

LadyPact

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You might want to check your mail.

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 12:32:27 PM

southernsky10

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Sorry...just for the record...

I have had profile posts tearing into me personally but also have come across conversation streams while looking at other profiles where people are just really laying into what seems like strangers for who they are.

I've seen sub bashing from Dom's a girl didn't respond to..a women blasted for liking black men... a lesbian told she's not really a true sub if she couldn't serve a male Dom?? Just some very negative stuff on several spots...

I posted here with my question hoping to find real people like yourselves who would be honest...even if it was blunt...so thank you...I really appreciate the help..

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Post #: 23

RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 12:33:49 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Donna I just looked at the profile and I suggest you either get him to write the text himself. There's no reason why he can't do it himself, I for one wouldn't want to be with a man who won't take the time and effort to do his own looking.

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 12:33:51 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Djducati

I myself recieved a somewhat hostile reception,

I did my homework on certain members and I now clearly understand WHY.

This is a group that has seen dozens and hundreds come and go,
and put up with a lot of garbage and bullshit and possibly abuse.

Perhaps influenced by negative events in real world dating.

Its easy to SAY you are something online.

It is something else entirely to show it, as demonstrated by my personal example.

Welcome to the boards, it gets better

OP: Remember to keep yourself well supplied with virtual chocolate, cheesecake, and cookies.

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 12:38:08 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

<Sneaks in to send Zeph some highly therapeutic key lime cheesecake.>

(Doesn't that sound great? I have the recipe but have never made it. Maybe for Turkey day?)

Oh my dear God that sounds amazing! It's wasted on me at the moment as my taste buds seem to have died.

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Post #: 26

RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 1:06:22 PM

oneluckysub

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I have been on the site for a while and have met some pretty great people. I even thought I was lucky enough to find my one and only but he was not ready. I have received all kinds of emails from all kinds of people on the "dating" side of the site. Most messages get a response in a pleasant form or the real crass ones get ignored. You might need to just hit the ignore button more frequently.

I recently started posting on the forum side of the site and have found that people are not intentionally mean, they just get fed up with the same crap over and over again. It happens to anyone who regularly uses forum type sites.

I do believe that you should heed some of this advise and have your "boyfriend" do his own looking. Railroad guy or not, he cant work 24/7 and should look for his own sub. Its going to be hard enough to find a sub who is willing to be part of your relationship.

As a sub seeking a Dom, I would not talk to or go through a Dom's girlfriend to get to know him. I especially would not want to meet a guy that is "so busy" with work that he cant get to know me. If he is that busy initially, he probably will be to busy to be there with me to have a relationship.

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 1:11:29 PM

GreedyTop

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*likes her*

can we keep her?

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Post #: 28

RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 1:23:14 PM

Kaliko

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FR~ You know, I don't know that I would find it that odd for a woman to be looking for a submissive for a dominant man. As a submissive who is wanting to assist her partner, why wouldn't I assist him in that manner, as well? I understand the OP isn't his submissive. But the general idea of a woman helping to find a woman for a man doesn't strike me as all that awful.

I do think that the situation is poly, even if the OP isn't actually being physically intimate with him.

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 1:29:18 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

I do think that the situation is poly, even if the OP isn't actually being physically intimate with him.

Except that the profile is that of a dominant man not that of a submissive which is usually the case when a submissive is looking for someone for her owner - or at least that's how it was when I've been contacted. Further, it's awkward because the profile is that of a dominant male but with a female "voice" as it's mostly from her point of view. At best it's odd at worst probably comes across as a bad attempt to scam us.

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 2:46:28 PM

Mr4sg

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Or her D could be a little like me. I like to torture my sub with asking her to find me another sub. Not because I want another sub. If I want another sub I would go look for one myself. I rather enjoy watching my sub squirm and despair over her attempts to find me one. Nothing as agonising to a sub as having to report utter failure on an assignment.

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 3:05:26 PM

BurntKitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mr4sg

Or her D could be a little like me. I like to torture my sub with asking her to find me another sub. Not because I want another sub. If I want another sub I would go look for one myself. I rather enjoy watching my sub squirm and despair over her attempts to find me one. Nothing as agonising to a sub as having to report utter failure on an assignment.

But, she isn't his submissive. She's his (non physically intimate) girlfriend who isn't into d/s, looking for a submissive female as a partner for her boyfriend.

I have a headache now.

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Post #: 32

RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 3:05:32 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mr4sg

Or her D could be a little like me. I like to torture my sub with asking her to find me another sub. Not because I want another sub. If I want another sub I would go look for one myself. I rather enjoy watching my sub squirm and despair over her attempts to find me one. Nothing as agonising to a sub as having to report utter failure on an assignment.

Nothing like setting up a person to fail and for emotional abuse.

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 3:06:48 PM

BurntKitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mr4sg

Or her D could be a little like me. I like to torture my sub with asking her to find me another sub. Not because I want another sub. If I want another sub I would go look for one myself. I rather enjoy watching my sub squirm and despair over her attempts to find me one. Nothing as agonising to a sub as having to report utter failure on an assignment.

Nothing like setting up a person to fail and for emotional abuse.

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Post #: 34

RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 3:13:15 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mr4sg

Or her D could be a little like me. I like to torture my sub with asking her to find me another sub. Not because I want another sub. If I want another sub I would go look for one myself. I rather enjoy watching my sub squirm and despair over her attempts to find me one. Nothing as agonising to a sub as having to report utter failure on an assignment.

Nothing like setting up a person to fail and for emotional abuse.

Yeah, and I suspect that a good many of us s-types have now mentally marked him as someone to avoid.

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RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 3:26:55 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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I only wish I'd known what a valued and rare commodity I was back in the day, when I was willing to be part of a Poly household. I'd have leveraged that! Somehow!

OP, good luck in your search. Sometimes, people are just buttwipes. I don't think they really need a reason. Just discard the buttwipe and move on.

WinD

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Post #: 36

RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 3:29:47 PM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mr4sg

Or her D could be a little like me. I like to torture my sub with asking her to find me another sub. Not because I want another sub. If I want another sub I would go look for one myself. I rather enjoy watching my sub squirm and despair over her attempts to find me one. Nothing as agonising to a sub as having to report utter failure on an assignment.

Yikes. You sound charming.

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Post #: 37

RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 3:42:40 PM

Epytropos

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People are shit. People here, people elsewhere, people in general. They're shit. Best not to worry about their thoughts unless they enrich your life in some way or another.

ETA: Welcome to CM. I hope you and your entanglement find what you're looking for.

< Message edited by Epytropos -- 9/17/2011 3:43:27 PM >

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Post #: 38

RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 8:00:37 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: southernsky10
He doesn't need me to find him a woman and I'm sorry I presented that way...he works for the railroad and is constantly on the road with work..he's only home a few days a week and just doesn't have the time to wade through hundreds of profiles...plus I thought hearing from me would make other women more comfortable..feeling assured this wasn't a poly thing..lol..guess not

If he doesn't have time to look for a woman, he doesn't have time for a relationship with one.

He has ten years of experience and you have none. It makes no sense to me that he would have you do his looking for him. Keep in mind that many femsubs looking on behalf of their male Dom friends with whom they don't have a relationship, are fictitious.

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Post #: 39

RE: Why so mean?? - 9/17/2011 9:46:01 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Part of what Stevie said--if he's never home, how will he have the time to get a relationship going? only so many hours in the say, and sharing can be one of the toughest aspects of a poly relationship.

A laptop or netbook would be a great investment, get HIM searching, and you can help screen. No matter how well you know him, you really can't know what he really wants in a sub.

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