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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 1:53:46 AM

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Well, I'd say this thread is derailed for a second (third or more, possibly?) time. If I were the mods, I'd take the lazy way out and just turf the whole thread, rather than try to salvage it. ;)

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 1:53:48 AM

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This is still an adult site, right? Ya'll are reminding me of the kindergarteners I have to intervene with at the damn sandbox at school.

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 1:57:33 AM

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No Jsta this stopped being an adult site when the fuckwits 5 were allowed to throw personal attacks at everyone with out a reprimand at all for their violation and constant harassment of other users, now Its Kindergarten class

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 2:42:09 AM

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Well, you are doing the same thing, or worse, that you claim they are doing.

The entire mess sucks, IMHO.

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 2:43:12 AM

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Edited so I can save some Mod somewhere more work than they've already got.

MP and I have been married for almost ten years. I'm pretty sure that we're in this thing for the long haul. We didn't do a pre-nup. Now that I think of it, I wouldn't have been terribly surprised if he would have wanted one. The wife before Me....... Well, let's just say she took a lot more in their settlement than I would have wanted.

If MP is the one that passes away first, I highly doubt I'll want to marry again. However, if I do, I probably would want a pre-nup. There are certain things now that we've acquired that I just don't want to risk *not* passing to the kids. Sure, I could spell those things out in a will, but if divorce comes before death, I don't see that as a guarantee.

I really have to echo LaT on this one. It's great when everybody is in love and you think that's the most wonderful person on the planet. Way too often, the person you *thought* they were isn't the same person who's sitting with you in divorce court.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 9/29/2011 3:07:22 AM >

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 2:49:03 AM

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JstAnotherSub: Your avatar reminds me of the following.

:D

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 3:24:26 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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FR

As I've stated, I started out thinking that there was no way I would ask for a prenup. Then I got to thinking (due to several posts here) about the fact that I stand to inherit a lovely painting that has been in my mother's family for a good long time. As nice as it is to think that love will last forever, there's no guarantee that it will. I would hate to have the relationship end an acrimonious mess but the risk of losing that painting would be too much. The rest of my stuff pffft it's not much but that painting will mean the world to me and because it's been in my mother's family so long I feel obligated to ensure it stays in the family.

I understand where those who are against prenups are coming from, it's hard to think that love won't last forever; but sometimes it's necessary to be realistic and look at the chances it won't. If there is nothing much to protect great; but even then who's to say what will happen in the future, for example future earnings. Better safe than sorry.

Zeph

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 4:01:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: projectneedles

Then send me a private message.

Id like to know who I post like.

Because again I'm sure my wife would be very amused to know, after our 17 years together Im a woman on the internet.

I can tell you if you believe Im a woman your wrong.

Yanno.....I actually do think I know who you are because of the hints you've dropped. A certain bi-sexual married male. One who I thought was a little more mature than the behaviour under this handle would indicate. One who I actually thought was a pretty decent guy........until I saw the vitrol being spewed by the non sock profile and now this.... shame on you.

I don't care who you like and who you don't like but behaving as childishly as THIS simply because you dislike 4 women half your age....just sickeningly pathetic.

Be glad your wife of 17 years is nothing at all like myself because for this, I would not only lose all respect I might have had for my husband........I would ditch his fucking ass and use this shit to my advantage. Act your age, not your shoe size.

P.S.

The thought that you are LadyP is laughable at best and as much as I dislike Awareness...I would bet my fake dick he has WAY too much personal integrity to create a screen of such petty cuntishness to hide behind.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 9/29/2011 4:40:06 AM >

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 8:10:52 AM

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I think Heather and certainly Hannah, are deliberately provocative sometimes. I don't know why it is surprising that someone occasionally gets provoked. Still, these personal attacks are bull shit. Attack the post, not the poster, and why would you want anyone to be unhappy in RL, especially young people like the fearsome foursome? I was also going to say that it is BS to do so anonymously, but then, technically , we are all anonymous.

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 9:25:01 AM

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you know I was always against the ignore and block functions, thinking it was just easier to not read and ignore posters and posts I didn't like or I felt was acting childish but pretty soon I'm feeling like I'm going to have to put this entire site on ignore. <shakes head>

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 9:39:45 AM

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It would depend on my current situation in which I would be in...

I experienced 2 dramas here recently (one of them still going on) where the men died on cancer (both of them) and in one of them it happened that he was living in the house which he inherited from his wife (she died due to bleeding on the brain way too early) ... now due to that marriage that house is hers and his kids, which he had with his first wife, have no entitlement whatsoever on that house....so in his case I think it would have been fairer to have one as quite frankly (IMO) that house should belong to his kids and not to his late wife...

In another case she got married with him about 20 years ago and she has now drama with his 2 kids from his previous relationship, which are a bit older than myself and she has a shit load of hassle now and - as it looks like - will sell the whole lot as she cant pay them out anymore....(in that case its sort of very complicated, cause the house where they were living in, is hers, as she paid them out but now its about the house which belonged to his mum who recently-ish died and due to the way how those two houses are connected she seems to think she has to sell both together, being unable to just sell that one)....and due to the awkward place that house is placed in....that could get sold way below its worth...

Anyhow, if he would have done one when they got together that many years ago, or at least properly thought about if he will be doing one or not, then he would have done it whilst his mum was mentally still in good state....and so he would have likely considered to discuss with his mum her will....but as he only considered the impact on her will on his second wife after his diagnosis, he could not change it anymore as there was no guarantee that this would really be in her will to change it the way he wished...so he could not change it...

So I simply learned especially in recent months that a prenup doesn't have to be a bad thing....I am pretty sure that if my ex and I would have moved on, that he would have insisted on one as our finances are worlds apart (like Dagobert and Donald Duck...sort of...) and I wouldn't have mind as I was never bothered about his cash but about him....so when I dont care about his money, then why should it bother me to do a prenup?

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 11:58:31 AM

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Phoenix, if someone dies, a will (if there is one) comes into play, a prenup is only used in the event of a divorce. (I think I was following most of what you said.)

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 12:32:59 PM

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Not completely true. a prenuptial might be important in deter ing whether a decedent has the right to will a certain property. They don't if it belongs to the spouse.
Example. Say X has a will that leaves a painting to his daughter. But he also has a prenuptial that says y owns half his property. Well, he can't pass by will what he doesn't own, and y owns half the painting. Prenups can expand a spouses' rights, not just limit them

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Phoenix, if someone dies, a will (if there is one) comes into play, a prenup is only used in the event of a divorce. (I think I was following most of what you said.)

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 12:49:51 PM

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Interesting! Thank you!

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 1:35:20 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

you know I was always against the ignore and block functions, thinking it was just easier to not read and ignore posters and posts I didn't like or I felt was acting childish but pretty soon I'm feeling like I'm going to have to put this entire site on ignore. <shakes head>

I don't know about the whole site but putting the really annoying people on blocking is blissful. It makes skimming the thread much easier.

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 2:12:20 PM

lizi

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I'm coming late to this thread, but I wanted to say thanks OP for the intent of starting it. If you wade through the irrelevant attacks there is something to think about here that I hadn't done before now, and I find that I have an opinion on it. I'd have been in the no prenup camp when I was younger and didn't really have any assets to worry about. I don't think I'll get married again, I know the man I'm with talks about it and seems to want that for us. We'll have to see how that plays out, but if I do decide to take that step with him then I'll go for a prenup before we do.

In a nutshell my own personal opinion is that when you share a life with someone and you make things...kids, money, etc....the two of you are responsible for those things. My ex and I are not formally divorced although we haven't been together for going on 6 years. We don't find it necessary to go through the divorce, he stands by me, gives me what i need to live on and takes care of whatever our adult children need in the way of money/school/shelter. We're very friendly and that has taken some work, but we take the attitude that although we are not a couple any longer we are still a family. We both have significant others. When it comes time for the formality of divorce we will do it without lawyers. It's a weird situation, but it suits the two of us very well and it works for us spectacularly.

That union gives me significant financial assets. I never thought of what will happen to those when I die. I'd like my children to get them, they were accrued when we were all a family and as a Mom it is my job to take care and protect my kids in any situation. I'll be getting the prenup for exactly that reason. So no matter what strange thing happens, if any, I'll know that things go to the people I intend them to go to.

Now with the new man I will be accruing assets yet again. I am in school, my new future job is in a way my gift to him and to us. There are a host of reasons why I chose the path of starting over in the workworld, one of which is being out of work for so long raising children, but one set of reasons is that I wanted the bf to know that I had no intention of coming to him for our future life without a way to bring in money. I could probably live on what I accrued with my marriage, we have several restaurants that are afloat and earning even in today's economy. This is why I have the luxury of being in school. I don't intend on sitting on my ass though, those restaurants may fail. I have a perfectly good self with which to pay my own way, I just need current training. I needed to do the school thing to strike out on my own after all the kids were gone and off to college and that phase of my life ended. I also wanted it to show bf that my intentions are to be a working/viable part of the household that he and I plan to form- albeit as far as I know now, an unmarried household.

What came from my marriage belongs to those people who helped get that, my ex and our kids. What comes from my time spent in the new relationship belongs to myself, my bf, and any share of mine upon my death also goes to my kids. The bf and I will use whatever monies are brought into the house from when we form that house, to use for the two of us. I'm not a legally educated person, but those are my basic wishes.

Just for the record it took me a long time to decide to get married the first time around, it was not something I took lightly. The fact that it broke apart still shocks me to this day. I never thought that would happen to me and the ex. I do think that you learn as you get older how many different things can happen that just happen. For that reason, I'll get a prenup if I ever do get married again and basically for the simplicity of having my wishes carried out with no unforeseen events stepping in to carry things astray. My kids are worth some planning and that is my job, no matter what their age, to plan for them and take care of what is theirs. They are my responsibility (along with their Dad's of course) and I take that seriously. Maybe a prenup is unneeded and unnecessary, I will not fall down on what I perceive to be the most important job of my life in order to uphold an ideal. My sons count for more than any idea. Obviously YMMV.

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 4:02:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Not completely true. a prenuptial might be important in deter ing whether a decedent has the right to will a certain property. They don't if it belongs to the spouse.
Example. Say X has a will that leaves a painting to his daughter. But he also has a prenuptial that says y owns half his property. Well, he can't pass by will what he doesn't own, and y owns half the painting. Prenups can expand a spouses' rights, not just limit them

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Phoenix, if someone dies, a will (if there is one) comes into play, a prenup is only used in the event of a divorce. (I think I was following most of what you said.)

Which is the main reason that I have also said that those "ambivilant" types of things are not a good idea. In divorces, I always advocated that parenting time be specifically spelled out, not simply the every other weekend, holiday, etc. People can always work out more time one way or another, but when the disagreements inevitably come, they have everything spelled out.

Same thing with a prenup or a will. Don't simply say "half of this, part of that." Be specific. If you want to leave half your belongings to your spouse, except for that painting, then specify that. In the end, it makes things so much easier.

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 4:07:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Phoenix, if someone dies, a will (if there is one) comes into play, a prenup is only used in the event of a divorce. (I think I was following most of what you said.)

I posted on this earlier....

Prenuptial agreements are, at best, a partial solution to obviating some of the risks of marital property disputes in times of divorce. They protect minimal assets and are not the final word. Nevertheless, they can be very powerful and limit parties' property rights and alimony. It may be impossible to set aside a properly drafted and executed prenup. A prenup can dictate not only what happens if the parties divorce, but also what happens when they die. They can act as a contract to make a will and/or eliminate all your rights to property, probate homestead, probate allowance, right to take as a predetermined heir, and the right to act as an executor and administrator of your spouse's estate.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement#United_States

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 4:17:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Phoenix, if someone dies, a will (if there is one) comes into play, a prenup is only used in the event of a divorce. (I think I was following most of what you said.)

I posted on this earlier....

Prenuptial agreements are, at best, a partial solution to obviating some of the risks of marital property disputes in times of divorce. They protect minimal assets and are not the final word. Nevertheless, they can be very powerful and limit parties' property rights and alimony. It may be impossible to set aside a properly drafted and executed prenup. A prenup can dictate not only what happens if the parties divorce, but also what happens when they die. They can act as a contract to make a will and/or eliminate all your rights to property, probate homestead, probate allowance, right to take as a predetermined heir, and the right to act as an executor and administrator of your spouse's estate.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement#United_States

Thank you. (in my defense it is a long thread and I'm old.)

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RE: Prenups - 9/29/2011 4:42:10 PM

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lol.... and I feel old... lets merge clubs!

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Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

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