topcat
Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004 From: Tidewater, VA Status: offline
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quote:
Would You say that the pleasure You derived from having this girl was lessened because she made herself Your slave not by voition or driven desire? And how exactly does one make the distinction, this girl means to say if this girl was driven to please You in any means...then is that not submission? You make a very interesting aside and she would not mind at all hearing more of Your idea. Midear Sabrina- This is a dust-bunny question! gray, fuzzy, hard to get a grip on... To the first part of the question, I'd say yes, and no. Yes- I lost some of the pleasure of being good at what I do, of being able to hit all the little corner buttons in her pysche- and No, I was actually more impressed that this was something she did soley because I wanted it, without it filling a deep need in herself. To the second part of the question- as I would use the terms- what she did was submission, but she was not a submissive. I'd say wanting to please your partner is a trait not limited to submissives (one would hope), and that she was just more willing and proactive about it than most people might be- she also learned to sail, doing most of the bookwork on her own, though I doubt she continued to do it beyond our relationship (we've lost touch, but she didn't do it for at least the next four or five years after moving on). I also believe that she did not seek out dominant partners after me- perhaps she ended up with one, but itlikely wasn't something she sought for. I'd say a submissive is someone who has the need to submit, to serve a dominant, as part of their core sexuality. Stay warm, Lawrence
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-there is no remission without blood-
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