Working Backwards

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Working Backwards - 10/18/2004 8:37:36 PM

Whipenrod

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/18/2004
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Is it like "working backwards"?
What happens when you work hard to discover the most INTIMATE details about a person--sexual preferences, history, kinks....

And later like the sub so much that there is a desire to take it out of the 'session"?

How hard is it?

A friend stated that 'never the twain should meet"--people didn't want to mix their kink with their social life. MEANING: After sessioning someone, I'd never be considered as "movie companion" material.

My relationships here are all very new--so please tell me, dear Dommes of Collarme--have any of you experienced this hurdle?

--Lady Whipenrod

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RE: Working Backwards - 10/19/2004 8:11:53 AM

Laura

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Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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Any business relationship would be tougher to take to a personal level. When sex, humiliation, etc are involved it would be harder still.

If you want a personal relationship with someone why not start that way instead of having a session? If you are looking for clients, then I guess that is what you will get. I don't think you're being fair if you spring a personal relationship on them.

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RE: Working Backwards - 10/19/2004 8:33:34 AM

Sylverdawn

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I dont know..do you go to movies with the guys/girls you have vanilla sex with.. it depends on as they say what tier your in.. are you first tier, second tier, third tier, or just a booty call. For me I have relationships with people.. I am not interested inprofessional based relationships. I have on occassion played someone who has asked me too with the understanding it was a single time thing but I still talk to them outside the scene and we remain cordial acquaintances.

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RE: Working Backwards - 10/19/2004 10:08:13 AM

DeerAbbie

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Joined: 10/19/2004
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What happens when you work hard to discover the most INTIMATE details about a person--sexual preferences, history, kinks....

And later like the sub so much that there is a desire to take it out of the 'session"?

How hard is it?

A friend stated that 'never the twain should meet"--people didn't want to mix their kink with their social life. MEANING: After sessioning someone, I'd never be considered as "movie companion" material.

My relationships here are all very new--so please tell me, dear Dommes of Collarme--have any of you experienced this hurdle?

Keep this in mind: You only know what you THINK you know about a person. You don't know everything until you've had the chance to sit at his/her kitchen table and break bread with those who were present when he/she came into the world and those who will be there to see him/her out.

(in reply to Whipenrod)

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RE: Working Backwards - 10/19/2004 1:28:55 PM

Sinergy

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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

What happens when you work hard to discover the most INTIMATE details about a person--sexual preferences, history, kinks....

Im not sure I would categorize my sexual pecadillos as my most intimate details.

It is my belief systems, my philosphy of life, my soul that I tend to be unwilling to quickly divulge.

Sinergy

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RE: Working Backwards - 10/19/2004 1:36:05 PM

MaitresseEden

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From: Houston, Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

It is my belief systems, my philosphy of life, my soul that I tend to be unwilling to quickly divulge.

Sinergy

For me.. those are the things I want to make sure there is compatibility on ASAP. Without them.. what's the point or going forward.

Eden~

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RE: Working Backwards - 10/19/2004 1:56:09 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

For me.. those are the things I want to make sure there is compatibility on ASAP. Without them.. what's the point or going forward.

Exactly.

The last thing I want to talk about with a potential partner is sex or kinks or bdsm. If the relationship gets to that point we can go into them.

Our situations, I suspect, were somewhat different. When I was actively seeking a partner, I was one of the vast throng of unattached Dominant males seeking a partner from what appeared to me to be a sellers market. You are a Dominant female with a large pool of unattached male submissives which puts you at the good side of a buyers market.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
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"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: Working Backwards - 10/19/2004 2:23:26 PM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
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From: Houston, Texas
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quote:

I was one of the vast throng of unattached Dominant males seeking a partner from what appeared to me to be a sellers market. You are a Dominant female with a large pool of unattached male submissives which puts you at the good side of a buyers market.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

While there is a plethora of unattached male submissives who simply want someone to "play them" Ones who truly want and understand the concept of balance D/s and submission in every day life are extremely rare, that couples with ones who are intelligent and personally compatible even rarer. So many say they are submissive and want a dominate partner but when presented with the opportunity for that it suddenly becomes all to real for them, and they often run scared, as accepting the reality of it would mean they have to balance the fantasy with reality and that is a skill that many on both ends of the spectrum lack.

Ms. Eden

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RE: Working Backwards - 10/19/2004 10:50:53 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

quote:

While there is a plethora of unattached male submissives who simply want someone to "play them" Ones who truly want and understand the concept of balance D/s and submission in every day life are extremely rare, that couples with ones who are intelligent and personally compatible even rarer.
Ms. Eden

Yuppers to Ms. Eden. 'tis the abolsute truth!

Now to Whipenrod: My pro clients are mostly married as I have said in another thread. So, no,I wouldn't even begin to think of dating them. I can go out with My male Dom friends, I have vanilla dates who know nothing of this lifestyle, and I even have a great sissy sub friend who once applied to live-in with Me, but I had to say "no" as he is a divorced dad with young kids to consider. W/we are great friends and even played on his birthday (a little gift from Me) and I would go out with him. Of course, I am not looking for a husband. So should a single client ask Me out, I probably wouldn't go anyway. I would be weighing a one time date against a long term client.
And I agree, it takes a lot more than the sexual side and kinks to get to know someone. I can play with anybody, (not that I do, really *She blushes*) but that doesn't mean they are going to sleep in My bed with Me.
If you start with a professional relationship, best to keep it on that level.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 10/19/2004 10:52:36 PM >

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