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RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 11:32:18 PM   
Contentment


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
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Well, did a short update. Not sure if finished, but I certainly like the direction it's in at the moment.
quote:

I am Contentment. Outgoing, a thinker, an artist and athlete. A tall writer and intelligent welder. A dreamer, a fool, a genius and a monster.

Interested in women with minds that can carry on any conversation, stamina to go on long walks, and bodies that can handle pain.

(in reply to tolovetolaugh)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 1:11:52 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
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So vague and boring is the direction you were interested in? There is a touch of wit in it, but otherwise empty and totally generic.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 1:23:27 AM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
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Simultaneously almost nonexistent and altogether overbearing. Distinctly lacking in artistry.

_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 1:23:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
OP, you have mail.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Epytropos)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 2:04:33 AM   
Contentment


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

OP, you have mail.



Got it and thank you for the feedback. I think I can respond to that in the same reply as to the above responses.

First, I am new to this. Don't think I am experienced. I'm intelligent and it seems to mislead people sometimes. I haven't had any BDSM relationships and certainly haven't gotten the hang of internet dating. I am certainly not trying to create that message in my profile.

The first post was supposed to be passive. That's mostly because I'm not really expecting this site to work. That wasn't my first online profile for this site. I'm getting on dozens without much response. I mean, I try, give it my all, but rarely receive any thing and certainly nothing to the end of receiving replies to my own messages to others.

So, I figured, go for critique. Let others explain what they are looking for. But now I am really lost. Not really sure if those replying are even in agreement on what they're looking for - which is very likely the case.

Second issue for me is that my out-of-person social skills are very lacking. I'm pretty good in person, when I can read a situation based on stance, appearance, the way they talk or the way they move. Online and, to a certain degree, on phones, my social skills are lacking. I try, but I find the social cues online to be be much harder to perceive.

As a result, I try for polite, boring and non-aggressive, but I do strongly try to keep my intelligence in use. It's just easier this way as it avoids unnecessary confrontation about subjects that really don't matter.

It is a bit disappointing that this tactic is apparently very common on the site. If it isn't common, I'm not sure why it would be boring...



< Message edited by Contentment -- 10/12/2011 2:05:09 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 2:09:19 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
Do you want a reply here or in private?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 2:16:42 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
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You are trying to convey in text who you are as a person. It is far different than a person to person interaction. Based on the words you choose to use, or omit, the reader is making a decision on whether or not you are interesting.

You do not have to write a book to convey a few of your personality traits. I doubt many of the people who have been here for longer than a few days believe that the love(s) of thier life is going to be found on CM. That is not to say that it cannot happen, or that relationships romantic or otherwise are not formed here. You have to put forth an effort if you want results.

Honestly, I don't see how having multiple accounts would increase your success rate. At the end of the day, your profile is nothing more than a very simple and snap shot description of who you are as a person. It's not hard to incorporate parts of your interests vanilla or kinky into a profile.

You are either over thinking it, or not enough.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 8:37:24 AM   
Contentment


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

You are trying to convey in text who you are as a person. It is far different than a person to person interaction. Based on the words you choose to use, or omit, the reader is making a decision on whether or not you are interesting.

You do not have to write a book to convey a few of your personality traits. I doubt many of the people who have been here for longer than a few days believe that the love(s) of thier life is going to be found on CM. That is not to say that it cannot happen, or that relationships romantic or otherwise are not formed here. You have to put forth an effort if you want results.

Honestly, I don't see how having multiple accounts would increase your success rate. At the end of the day, your profile is nothing more than a very simple and snap shot description of who you are as a person. It's not hard to incorporate parts of your interests vanilla or kinky into a profile.

You are either over thinking it, or not enough.

Good feedback, thanks.

Will mention that I don't have multiple accounts. I have multiple versions of the profile entry, i.e. I delete one and replace it.

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 8:40:21 AM   
Contentment


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Do you want a reply here or in private?

Either is fine.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 11:46:20 AM   
Contentment


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
Status: offline
Alright, an update. Tried to be less witty and more specific, while keeping honesty and trying not to mislead.

quote:

I am here because I find BDSM infinitely alluring. It's a combination of social interaction, dark fantasy, and interesting devices. And it's all so very creative and unique, each interaction tailored for the encounter. I just love it. Amuses me to no end.

I am a welding student. I make sculptures, tables, bookshelves and other oddities using those skills. I make jewelry using wire and beads. I work on small models as well. Sometimes these require sketching plans in advance, others I just work from my head.

I've begun to dabble into sewing, guitar and knife sharpening, but those skills are still quite lacking. Been taking martial arts classes too, but very new to that as well.

I enjoy writing poetry and creative fiction. I have a book I intend to finish before I die - it's my goal in life.

I ride the bus. I enjoy the social interaction of it. I learn all sorts of perspectives on the same subjects and on new ones. I make friends and further my understanding of things. Could get a car, but it just isn't social enough, so I haven't tried.

I've had dark, twisted, dominating fantasies as long as I can remember. Those really turn me on, but are not the kinds of things I usually talk about. I am typically a nice, kind and outgoing individual that wouldn't broach this subject unless asked.

Vanilla relationships do not appeal to me, they don't turn me on. They never have. I have little to no interest in a normal dating or sex life. They are bland, boring and require going with the flow. I just don't like that.

I want to be unique. An original person, true to myself. In only the last few years have I even known BDSM was a real thing. I am new to BDSM in actual experience.

In terms of romantic/BDSM relationships, I am looking for a woman. I am attracted to older and younger women, but I find one of my key attractions is in those that I can physically overpower.

Relationships will take time and I'm not looking for a one-night stand. I want someone I can carry on a conversation with - this is really important. A conversation with passion and fire and the ability to express it. The ability to talk and to listen.

I'm not looking for a sex toy or silent dummy, I'm looking for a woman with soul and personality. One able to be open-minded enough to consider the abstract, unusual or rare. A strong personality is almost always a plus.

I am patient. If you want a simple social relationship, I can do that, and will wait, until you are ready for more.

Thoughts?

I'm not sure it grabs people, but it is truth and, hopefully, others can see the value of that.

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 11:49:18 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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^^ that one is definitely more interesting; it gives the reader more insight into who you are, things you like, etc. 

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 12:56:45 PM   
NewImprovedDom


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline
Yeah this is certainly an improvement.  You've stopped trying to impress readers with an  IQ  and are now trying to be a regular guy.  Many of us in this lifestyle have exceptional intellects but thats not where we feel the urges that brought us here.
And until they have a category for people with a fetish for sucking on your brainstem then I think its probably best not to lead with that.

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 1:56:03 PM   
tolovetolaugh


Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline
Much better. 
I actually really like this one. There is a sense of humor in it, you share your interests which allows for talking points, and you show a bit of who you are and why you are into this lifestyle. Your ego doesn't seem huge either, just come across as confident.

Wasn't bored at all this time.


_____________________________


That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to NewImprovedDom)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 2:49:22 PM   
NocturnalStalker


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The more arrogant you are, the more you turn heads, the more mail you get.

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to tolovetolaugh)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 3:24:33 PM   
tolovetolaugh


Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

The more arrogant you are, the more you turn heads, the more mail you get.


Hate mail might not be what he is looking for.


_____________________________


That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 3:27:58 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
The more arrogant you are, the more you turn heads, the more mail you get.

How's that workin' for ya?

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 3:30:03 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
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Tremendously.

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/12/2011 3:40:02 PM   
fallon0627


Posts: 42
Joined: 1/22/2011
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NewImprovedDom..........OMG

Did you put miracle grow on it or maybe I have had to much crack water (Mt Dew) today. I think its going to give me nightmares or really hot dreams.

(in reply to NewImprovedDom)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/13/2011 8:36:23 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

Alright, an update. Tried to be less witty and more specific, while keeping honesty and trying not to mislead.



(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/13/2011 8:42:39 AM   
Contentment


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
Status: offline
Thank you for the help. I'm glad this one works. Next project is to update me with some newer profile pictures, but that is a topic for another thread....

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 40
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