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Bad pick up line theatre - 10/19/2011 1:47:19 PM

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Can't remember where I found this one:

"I put the STD in STUD.
Now all I need is U"

Now gimme your worst (or best)

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
-- Dr. Seuss

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 10/19/2011 1:56:40 PM

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Joined: 6/23/2010
From: Arizona
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"Nice shoes....wanna fuck?"

I stopped using pick up lines after high school, but that cheesy line used to work back then.

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"I am who I am today because of choices I made yesterday."

"To bring the pieces back together - rediscover communication."

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RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/3/2011 6:51:40 PM

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Joined: 6/28/2011
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Loved this one:

"Do you know what would look good on you? Me."

(in reply to RexDarcy)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/3/2011 8:25:34 PM

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Joined: 10/24/2011
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Do you know the difference between a cheesburger and a blow job?......
Wanna have lunch

(in reply to whathappensnnv)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/4/2011 12:27:30 AM

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Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
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You don't sweat much for a fatty

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Hitman for the Subby Mafia

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RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/5/2011 12:15:55 AM

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Joined: 8/22/2011
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Mistress, I am available, and looking to worship the ground you walk on, to be spanked and humiliated, and treated like your little sissy slut!

pretty much 99% of all the male sub intro's :)

< Message edited by Endivius -- 11/5/2011 12:19:17 AM >

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RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/5/2011 3:37:01 AM

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Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline

"Can you lie on your belly?"

(No/yes)

"Can I?"

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"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to Endivius)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/5/2011 11:33:30 PM

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"I wanna tickle your belly button from the inside"

Wait, that's not all that bad. Nevermind.

T^T

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/6/2011 1:45:35 AM

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Joined: 2/2/2011
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This one actually worked once I stopped laughing. "I promise to take you home and give you nine inches I don't have"

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(in reply to Termyn8or)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/6/2011 2:25:25 AM

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Joined: 8/5/2011
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I swear to god this is true.

A few months back I got a sitter to look after boy on a Saturday night which is a first for me. I just needed adult contact & live music. So off I toddled down to the local which has decent noise & a great outdoor stage. I was chatting to a few & having a smoke when a friend came up & said 'Pete, get to the bar there's a woman in a see through dress & no knickers'

I told him bollcks & he swore it was true so I went in & there at the bar was a very attractive 40 something exactly as he described (only the back panel was see through ish).

So after looking for a while I sidled up to her, put my arm around her shoulders & said.
'Hi my name's Pete & seeing as how you can't afford underwear can I buy you a drink?'
She left at lunchtime the next day.

Who's the fucking Daddy!

< Message edited by Ninebelowzero -- 11/6/2011 2:26:40 AM >

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RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/7/2011 11:32:31 PM

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Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
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Good for you Pete.
Sometimes lines aren't even necessary.
I just lick my eyebrows.

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(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/8/2011 12:12:14 AM

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Joined: 11/12/2005
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Nice hair, how come you dye the roots gray ?

I can't take credit for this one, it was invented by a biker who is drunk all the time, even when he goes to see his PO. They literally had to drag him out of jail. He got over one them really, they try to let him out early and he won't go. Yeah, they got ALOT hanging over his head. And with a line like that it's not lack of pussy.

The dude wants to buy my house, the neighbors have taken up a collection to prevent that. And don't let his olady anywhere near your weed. She rolls one joint and it's four grams lighter.

T^T

(in reply to MadAxeman)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/8/2011 10:30:09 PM

Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
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If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
Your parents must be retarded, because you are special
Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?
I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."
Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.
Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

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Hitman for the Subby Mafia

(in reply to Termyn8or)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/9/2011 4:27:32 AM

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Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

You never cease to amazing me MadAxeman

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Change what you can and accept what you can't.
He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fu*king mosquito!

Resident Thread Killer

(in reply to MadAxeman)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/9/2011 4:29:11 AM

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Joined: 12/29/2010
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hahahahaaa ^_^ +29 to MadAxeman. =p

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RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/9/2011 10:16:56 AM

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Joined: 8/5/2011
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Nice one. Works every time I should imagine.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadAxeman

Good for you Pete.
Sometimes lines aren't even necessary.
I just lick my eyebrows.

_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to MadAxeman)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/14/2011 6:59:00 PM

Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline

lilmissdefiant! Long time no see.
Thank you Lilly, 9.
Sadly, I have a million of these.

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Hitman for the Subby Mafia

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RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/15/2011 10:13:14 AM

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Joined: 4/30/2008
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The walls in the womans bathroom at a restaraunt where I used to work are covered in these.

Are you a pirate? Cause I want'cha booty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
Hey baby, you got a jersey? Cause I need your name and number!
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be FINE PRINT.
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

_____________________________

That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to MadAxeman)

RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/15/2011 4:37:43 PM

NocturnalStalker

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Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline

"I'm big in Japan."

Never fails.

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"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

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RE: Bad pick up line theatre - 11/17/2011 1:27:33 AM

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Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline

here's 2

"how do you like your eggs in the morning scrambled....or fertilized?"

i saw a girl rummaging through her purse at a bar she was doing this for about 2 minutes...

I was drunk so i decided to walk up to her and say this "You know if yer looking for my phone number I can just give it to you...."

True story :)

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)

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