RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (Full Version)

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VideoAdminDelta -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 6:23:05 AM)

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Arienos -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 6:30:57 AM)

quote:

Youth is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately it doesn’t last, not for any of us and the funny thing is, as you get older you don’t stop feeling young. You still have that element of youthfulness inside you. You will relate to these word’s as you get older. Age is a cruel disease that gets us all if we survive long enough. Vanity is something that will destroy you if you are unable to accept the aging process.


The aging process, gravity plays a terrible tribute to women with G-cups, but a nip and tuck reduction reversed the ageing process and gravities plague. I work-out with a 55 year-old woman who had been diagnosed as having type 2 diabetes, she changed her eating habits and joined Gold’s Gym, that was about seven years ago. Today she is my cardio work-out partner; we run five miles and follow our run with a one mile or two swim depending on the weather. Every other day we pump iron after our run and swim, she no longer is diagnosed diabetic and now two of her daughters who are in their thirties have set our work-outs as their goals.
My point is, we cannot prevent the aging process, but we can retard it and in some cases slow it so drastically it reverses diagnosed medical conditions.

I have a friend who underwent surgery, some kind of banding process that prevented the amount of food she consumed, she went from 327 pounds to 135 pounds in about a year which resulted in a lot of hanging skin, some of her excess skin was surgically removed but she diligently worked-out and has toned, cut and defined her body to a point where she is comfortable in a size four and looks great in it. She is 49 with a trim toned 30 year old appearing body and does seminars and symposiums with and for a group of doctors doing weight loss surgery.
Now I am not saying this is the answer for every overweight woman, what I am saying is that for many there is an option and a choice can and should be made.



GreedyTop -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 6:34:49 AM)

quote:

what I am saying is that for many there is an option and a choice can and should be made.


yeah.. and some are perfectly happy in their skins. WTF does it matter to you? so you won't happen to have someone overweight pass through your field of vision?

(btw.. I am 5'4, 130lbs)



tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 6:46:43 AM)

And to add to what Greedy said, surgery is all kindsa wonderful for some people, but others can't afford it  and also make their own choice of not going under the knife for vanity's sake.   I've earned the few lines I have on my face, my body is what it is.  Would you come up to me on the street and tell me I look like whale blubbler?  Cuz lemmetellya bub, you had the nerve to do that, then don't be surprised to find yourself on the ground and me sitting on you squishing you to pieces.  It's the least I can do as a favor to the world. [8|]



searching4mysir -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 6:50:53 AM)

I actually considered gastric bypass surgery at one point but decided that cutting myself open to reroute my plumbing in the hopes of being malnourished enough to lose weight quickly wasn't right for me. I'm perfectly healthy at my weight with no contraindications due to obesity. I'm loved as I am and am comfortable with myself and don't feel the need to have surgery in order so that people don't have to look at a fat person on the street. I eat primally and exercise and make sure I get enough rest (most of the time).


If someone has a problem with my weight, it is THEIR problem, not mine.



orchid77 -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 6:59:02 AM)

I love my fat and fabulicious self and although some don't love my fat and fabulicious self is okay with me. My question is why does all fat conversations turn into assumptions, generalizations, and discrimination? Why can't you (those of you who dislike fat people) be civil and talk about ur dislike and ur concern in a educated matter and learn to agree to disagree with others without resorting below the belt? What is your point? You cannot change people on online...people can only change themselves if they wish too.

I have to say I am very honored and respect those who are defending the big, bold, and beautiful. Thank you, I am glad there are people who are able to conversate without going to new lows.






GreedyTop -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 7:06:34 AM)

*twitch*

ok, orchid.. lemme preface this by saying that this is NOT AIMED AT YOU, but the word itself...

I HATE THE WORD CONVERSATE!!

from Dictionary.com:
con·ver·sate  /ˈkɒnvərˌseɪt/ Show Spelled[kon-ver-seyt] Show IPAverb (used without object), con·ver·sat·ed, con·ver·sat·ing.Nonstandard except in some dialects. to have a conversation; converse. Origin: 1970-75; back formation from conversation


I guess I'm just getting old, but why not just say "have a conversation" ??

/rant



Arienos -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 7:54:17 AM)

quote:

I have to say I am very honored and respect those who are defending the big, bold, and beautiful. Thank you, I am glad there are people who are able to conversate without going to new lows.


I don’t believe new lows are evident anywhere in this thread; I use the word blubber, (unsightly body fat) others use obese, (extremely unhealthy fat) but regardless of how one terms fat…it remains a body weight greater then considered advisable for freedom of movement and good health.

There is nothing insulting or negative about the verbiage above or the mental emotional picture it present’s.
Blubber, obese, fat remain excess body mass even if you call it candy.



GreedyTop -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 8:08:35 AM)

Dictionary. com says:

blub·ber  /ˈblʌbər/ Show Spelled[bluhb-er] Show IPAnoun
1.Zoology.thefatlayer between the skin and muscle of whales and other cetaceans, from whichoil is made.2.excess body fat.
3.an act of weeping noisily and without restraint.


the fact that you insist on using definition #2 makes you look like a total twatwaffle.

based on your avatar, one of the descriptors that could be used is 'Roided pinky penis.



Hisprettybaby -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 9:15:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OICU8Master
So you're contending that the vast majority of people drawn to BDSM period are overweight?

What I'm saying is, kinky women don't have the corner on being fat. Kinky men frequent that fat corner too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

You talking about blubber is the equivilant to calling all beer drinkers "red-necks" or "uneducated bubba" - because you don't like beer. Instead of saying you like slim women, why do you talk about "blubber"?

One is hurtful, one is a personal preference. Perhaps you might choose your words more carefully. On the other hand, since your avatar seems to be a young Arnie, maybe you have issues in that direction yourself? Who knows?

This.^^^^

This whole thread turned into a shit storm because the OP said:
quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedom
Just kinda wonder if there's something psychological there. A lot of women here have those force/rape fantasies. In everyday life in general a woman around 200 pounds isn't going to draw much attention from anyone who would actually force someone. is that part of it? Is it more of a fantasy to submit because its unlikely it would ever happen in real life

.....and then everyone else added their opinions about fat, some people more blatantly insulting than others.

I'm not saying that people can't have their preferences. Hell, everyone has preferences, including me. What I am saying is, why can't people just say what they prefer without insulting those who don't fit their preference? Have your preferences but you don't have to insult the rest of us who don't happen to be what you want.

For instance, I like a plumper guy. In my opinion, he's much nicer to cuddle up next to than a really thin guy whose bony frame will poke and hurt me(not in a good way). I also totally do not like the excessively muscled body-builder look like Arienos' avatar. It looks like overkill to me, but I don't go around insulting those who look like that. I just realize it's not for me so I don't choose that type of person to consider for a partner is all.

I'm 6'1'', almost 54 and menopausal. In my 20s and 30s, I was never more than 170 pounds and usually less, 40-29-40 and solid muscle. I still eat healthy and I still exercise five times a week, but I weigh more now, I'm larger, and I'm not as firm and muscled as I used to be. As I've gotten older, I've developed a low thyroid condition and I have other conditions unrelated to my weight that I take meds for. Those meds tend to cause weight gain no matter how hard I work to avoid it. Not everything is as simple as it would seem. Plus, female hormones cause women to pack fat onto our chests and our rear ends, giving us those curves.

I would love to have the body I did in my 20s and 30s, but it's not going to happen. Someone else said they considered a gastric bypass. I did too. If I did that, oh yeah, I would lose all the weight alright, but that amount of weight loss would necessitate extra skin removal to be blunt about it. My skin doesn't have the elasticity and ability to shrink back like it did in my 20s, and I don't have the money it would cost for either of those procedures. Plus, I would have to be on massive amounts of nutritional supplements for the rest of my life so I don't become malnourished, since gastric bypass screws with your ability to absorb nutrients in the digestive tract. I have a friend who's done it, so I know all about the shit one has to go through with it.



kalikshama -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 9:37:26 AM)

quote:

I have a friend who underwent surgery, some kind of banding process that prevented the amount of food she consumed, she went from 327 pounds to 135 pounds in about a year which resulted in a lot of hanging skin


I'm curious - did she work out WHILE she was losing the 200 pounds or not until after she'd developed the hanging skin?



gorgeoushair -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 10:07:46 AM)

If overweight women (who can't get laid or find a boyfriend) are attracted to this lifestyle, I predict that they are in no less proportion than men with small dicks.



OICU8Master -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 10:10:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I took the night to think about this. Your name is insulting. Your thoughts are inane. And you have the nerve to say on your profile that with age comes wisdom? Along with that wisdom you're apparently waiting for come lots of other not so fun things; wrinkles, stretch marks, (especially if you've had babies) weight...all kinds of "disgusting" to borrow another superficial poster's word, things.

Does the guy in the picture know you're using his likeness to post as an absolute uncouth ass? Because surely noone with the wisdom you say you gained would put their own image up and do and say such ignorant things.

And btw...someone *did* propose some answers to the question besides your reasoning that the ladies who are over-weight are flawed and unwanted so they "demean themselves" in order to find a partner. I suggest you re-read the answers. Specifically the ones that say things like many ladies started off in wiitwd as thin young ladies. Time has taken it's toll on many of us, on some of us our bodies, and in others (apparently) our minds. You should really work on that. It's extremely unattractive.
Please quote me anywhere where I said ladies who are overweight are "flawed" and "unwanted".  I said that because of the hate and backlash spewed at the OP for even bringing up the question, only one possible answer had been put forth.  I also noted that I had no idea why a higher than normal percentage of overweight women were drawn to BDSM.  Hence my desire to have an open discussion.

But your "mature" response?  Call me inane, unwise, insulting, unattractive.  And put words in my mouth.  I hear actually READING what someone says is tech.

Overly defensive much?



Ninebelowzero -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 10:20:51 AM)

You Americans are probably unaware but the Rugby World Cup has just concluded. Every player there would score clinically or morbidly obese. I dare anyone to call one of them lardy.




Hisprettybaby -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 10:21:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

If overweight women (who can't get laid or find a boyfriend) are attracted to this lifestyle, I predict that they are in no less proportion than men with small dicks.

[sm=rofl.gif]



Arienos -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 10:24:26 AM)

quote:

I'm curious - did she work out WHILE she was losing the 200 pounds or not until after she'd developed the hanging skin?


I was with this woman from the time she began researching the many techniques at her disposal, she was my former sister-in-law. When her husband died I brought her to Florida to take care of her, her heart doctor told her if she didn’t lose weight she would be dead in a year, that her heart would not withstand another heart attack.
We began searching for techniques available for her using Lee Memorial Hospitals outreach programs. We meet with 5 or 6 different doctors and 2 cosmetic surgeons. There was a significant cost but I did not care about that she needed the surgery so once she accepted the fact she didn’t have to worry about doctors bills and aftercare payments she couldn’t make, (The emotional excuses) she agreed to have the surgery done.
In answer to your question, no, no strenuous work-outs during the inital part of her weight loss, she was weak and there were regular trips to the doctor’s office for filling the ban. About five months into her weight loss she began light work-outs and lots of stretching exercises.( Remember we also had to work on endurance for her heart muscle.) around her ninth month of recovery we began regimented work-outs. The funny part here is, it seemed every month she needed a new wardrobe, even today we laugh about that, I had closets filled with varying different women’s size cloths when she left. Damn broad couldn’t wear them so she left them for me to get rid of.



gorgeoushair -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 10:31:57 AM)

@Hisprettybaby - thanks, and, you know it's true.  (Have had personal experience. He had ways of compensating.)



OICU8Master -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 10:50:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby
I'm not saying that people can't have their preferences. Hell, everyone has preferences, including me. What I am saying is, why can't people just say what they prefer without insulting those who don't fit their preference? Have your preferences but you don't have to insult the rest of us who don't happen to be what you want.


I'd LOVE to post the responses I got on this website from the woman who was insulted because I said I preferred a woman who was under 140 lbs.  I didn't say fat, I didn't say obese, or blubber or anything insulting at all.  I said "140 lbs or less".  She simply wouldn't stop attacking me personally.  Never mind that I have a back problem and  cannot perform some of the positions I enjoy with a woman who weighs much more than that.  Never mind that I am simply not attracted to a woman who weighs much more than that.

I'd LOVE to post her responses, all 15 of them, but I deleted them along with every other hateful response I get from anyone who doesn't like that I have preferences of my own.

None of which has ANYTHING to do with the OP's original question.  But I agree, he proposed a reason that was posted less than tactfully.

Not, as I've found, that tactfulness has anything to do with an overweight womans response.  I wonder if there's a link somewhere to the desire to enter into the BDSM community and a deep seated rage at the world around them that won't accept them as they are?  Hence the personal attacks on anyone bringing up the topic.  Insults about penis size.  Insults about maturity.  etc.  Is there a correlation there?  I don't know.

And of course, this does not apply to all overweight women or even the majority.  If the norm is 25% and we see that 40% are into BDSM, then we're talking 15% additional women or roughly 3 out of 8 women who are drawn to BDSM who are over the norm.

And I admit this is based on a small sample size.

I do know this:  There are a lot of guys who are drawn to things like Magic:the Gathering, War Machine, roleplaying games, etc. who are classified as nerds.  Even the world champion magic player who lives in a suite atop a skyscraper in New York and has earned millions was shot down publicly on OKCupid while trying to get a date when the woman he dated found out he played Magic for a living.

Highly intelligent people, creative, funny, some very good looking.  Yet you rarely find women drawn to that community at all.  Why?  The perception that these men are socially inept and sexually inexperienced.  Of course, this isn't true, it's a stereotype.  Why are the men drawn to that community?  Intellectual stimulation.  Many of them have wives and girlfriends, few of whom ever share their passions.

So what draws overweight women to the BDSM community?  What is the perception that attracts them to it?  Is it a healthy attraction for those 3 out of 8 women above the norm, or an unhealthy one?  Is it about low self esteem or rage or something else?  Could it be that only in the BDSM community do they feel accepted for who they are and not what they look like?  Is that why there's such backlash when the question gets broached?  That's a very strong possibility, much like the guys attracted to the nerd end of the spectrum who got extremely vocal when the world champion magic player was shot down for simply being a magic player and the entire community ripped into that woman.

But underneath it all was a hidden rage against the women who simply refuse to accept them for who they are.  The vast majority   of women say it's not about looks, it's about who you are.  That same vast majority then judge these guys wrongly for who they are.  They're just guys, like every other guy I've ever known.  I'd say a lower percentage of jerks are attracted to that community so it doesn't even make sense for women to reject them.  Do they have a hidden rage?  Oh yeah, you betcha.

I think that hidden rage comes out here from the women who've responded as well.  I think that rejection from society as a whole, the same way gamers are rejected, engenders a hidden rage.  I also think it has something to do with what attracts overweight women to the BDSM lifestyle.  But while I can understand what attracts men to the gamer world, I can't quite see the attraction for the women here.  There doesn't seem to be more acceptance, there seems to be an emphasis on looks, style, artistic bondage, etc.  Everywhere I look, it's showing off the feminine body. 

So no, I don't grasp the draw.





SSBBWCuckoldress -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 11:07:06 AM)

Are normal weight women drawn to the lifestyle?  Are underweight women drawn to the lifestyle?Are non-genetic women drawn to the lifestyle? Are women of color drawn to the lifestyle?  I think the question I originally missed could have been phrased many more ways than I just posed.

Why is a size, shape, color, or sexual orientation at question here?  If god meant us to be nude, we would have been born that way. 

I am fat, I am healthy (swimming 5000 meters  five times a week), and I am for lack of a better term - in the lifestyle.  Oh, and I am dominant, does that make me any more or less attractive?  Different flavors for different tastes...

B



ModTwentyOne -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/27/2011 11:12:17 AM)

I think we're done here.



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