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OsideGirl -> RE: confused and need advice please (11/6/2011 8:59:31 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ummmmNo
You are coming across as sub who doesn't respect her Dom and even resents him. I'm willing to bet it comes across to him as well and he doesn't like it.
quote:
ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
Yes, I think this man is probably quite abusive to you. But you have been his willing victim for far too long.
Actually, I'm going to disagree with this. He MIGHT be abusive to her, but we've only heard her side.
People don't suddenly become a narcissist. NPD stems from childhood, which means that if he is a narcissist, he's been one for the entire 6 years and she has rewarded that behavior. Trying to get him to see the point of changing at this point would be like spitting in the wind.
What I think is a more likely scenario: People tend to become depressed and insecure when unemployed for long periods of time. Now, picture someone standing over you telling you what a favor they're doing for you by staying with you. She's literally been playing the guilt card. "I do everything for you and you're not being what I want." She's harping at him, so he's responding by clamping down and trying to gain control. Now, at this point it's become habit and the same cycle keeps playing out.
In order for anything to happen, she needs to get off her high horse and accept that she plays the martyr. She's like a Jewish grandmother playing with guilt. Both sides need to see what they're doing in order for there to be any hope of saving the relationship.
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