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sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 9:10:20 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I need assistance. I had at one time a nice looooooooooooong questionaire that I would send potentials. All sorts of questions to help me learn their abilities, trouble areas, etc. Things like, hours worked, health issues, family situation........allllllllll bases were covered. I have looked and looked and looked and I cannot find that file. Does anyone else have anything similar that I can perhaps get a copy of. It would save me alot of time. Thank you in advance!

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 10:06:22 AM

iliv2servher

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Joined: 5/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I need assistance. I had at one time a nice looooooooooooong questionaire that I would send potentials. All sorts of questions to help me learn their abilities, trouble areas, etc. Things like, hours worked, health issues, family situation........allllllllll bases were covered. I have looked and looked and looked and I cannot find that file. Does anyone else have anything similar that I can perhaps get a copy of. It would save me alot of time. Thank you in advance!

LeTigeresse,

I have Submissive Checklist and Negotiations form which is subtitled Submissive BDSM Play Partner Checklist by Tammad Ramilia (four pages long). It has been formatted for Microsoft Word, and I can convert it to a PDF and send it via e-mail. Let me know if you want it.

iliv2servHer

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 10:45:26 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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I am not really concerned with a checklist or negotiations. I am concerned with getting an idea of what their life is about. Are they on any medications, is there any allergies or other medical issues, any deep fears..ex; deathly afraid of snakes, work schedule, financial situation as it pertains to their abilities..ex: I tell them to purchase a widget and I am not aware that they are on the verge of bankruptcy, is there someone they are close to that has something going on that may require them to drop everything and run...ex. their mother is dying of cancer. These are things I need to know.

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 11:11:21 AM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am not really concerned with a checklist or negotiations. I am concerned with getting an idea of what their life is about. Are they on any medications, is there any allergies or other medical issues, any deep fears..ex; deathly afraid of snakes, work schedule, financial situation as it pertains to their abilities..ex: I tell them to purchase a widget and I am not aware that they are on the verge of bankruptcy, is there someone they are close to that has something going on that may require them to drop everything and run...ex. their mother is dying of cancer. These are things I need to know.

There is no one questionaire that covers all of your concerns. Perhaps it would be in your best interest to create one of your own that is to your liking.

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 11:15:14 AM

LaTigresse

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Actually there is, I did not create the last one I had.

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 2:28:07 PM

ADomDoc

Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
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Kudos! I'm impressed that you are asking the important questions.

I just key off their profile & generally get the same info in several conversations (& I keep notes). For me the medical history, medications they are on & allergy questions are important, previous injuries, surgeries (if they have any lasting problems ... screws poking out of knees, etc ... (yeah ... one of my subs had that)
Seizures, diabetes, asthma, shoulder problems, cardiac problems, glaucoma, psychological conditions, drug & alcohol & tobacco use
Vital statistics
Psych history ... including history of abuse (of any type)

I also ask about:
Past experience ... I might start my play at that baseline ... this is a level of expectation most will have. You'll always be measured by the last Dom/me.

Interests/Fantasies ... these can show me a direction that play can go ... helps me custom-make a scenario.

Hard /Objective Limits ... these are the current extremes I can go to.

Soft/Subjective Limits ... this gives me a hint where I wanna start being careful not to push too hard w/o prior agreement or unless the sub is waaaaay off into subspace.

Fears/Phobias ... these are areas to either avoid (for most Dom/mes) or to approach tangentially by an experienced Dom/me who understands the psychology. If play hints at their phobias/fears ... approaches 'em w/o getting into 'em, etc, it can tweak the angst ... and thereby the excitement of the sub/slave. Part of the thrill MY subs have enjoyed is playing with fear & coming out stronger on the other side. If you shove a fear/phobia in a sub/slave's face ... it'll only turn out badly. But playing around the edges, re-labelling, and teasing can heighten the experience.

I gave up any single form decades ago. I just do an extensive interview. I knew the last part-time sub better than her Dom husband of 3 years. It's a matter of asking a question, LISTENING to the answer ... then asking a cogent question that expands that information. That can't be done by a form.

I can do an ad hoc sub in a few minutes ... just for a simple play session in a public venue. I also check to see if the sub/slave would feel better w/ a safeword (I'm fine w/ the red/yellow/green if they need it).

But for a sub/slave I am considering for a LTR, I spend some serious time talking to 'em (live or in email or chat). For those I go into movies & entertainment they like, what they drink, types of food they like/hate, food allergies, and their past history w/ other Dom/mes ... problems & successes.

I realize this is not what you were seeking. We all have our own techniques. But maybe I've given you some ideas to help re-create what you had before.

ADomDoc
SanAntonio

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 3:07:10 PM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
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I think that would be a nice list to receive but not all at once within the first couple of messages. I would suggest a section here and there as the intitial Email phase is at work. Gives both sides things to write about and make comments.

I have received long checklists things before and to be honest, they were overwhelming and felt like I was being pushed and/or objectified immediately.

My .02 worth.

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 4:04:35 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
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lisa, I did not explain......this is for a young man that wishes to serve for the first time. It will be totally non-sexual and yes he is VERY aware of this. I just want to be sure that I do not ask something of him he cannot complete because of something I am not aware of.......health reasons, work, income, lack of transportation.....etc.. As an example I may ask him to spend an afternoon doing something manual outdoors and it is 92 degrees in Iowa, I need to know he is not putting his health at risk and that he can drive to the location he is require to do it. I do not want him to have his first experiences feeling like he has failed, challenged yes, failed no.

Plus, if he cannot take the time to fill out a questionaire I will know he cannot take the time to serve properly.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 5/26/2006 4:08:35 PM >

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 4:06:11 PM

LaTigresse

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thank you Doc, you have!

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/26/2006 4:10:01 PM

tapper500

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/6/2006
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Hello, I am new to all this, I like a sub man every now and then, what type of questions should I ask

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/27/2006 7:04:39 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
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Tigresse,
I have what you're looking for, but it is written longhand. How soon do you need it? I'll get someone started on typing it out, but I'm sure it will take him a few days to get it done and formatted properly.
Miss P.

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/27/2006 9:55:59 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
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Proprietrix you are a sweetheart! I am in no rush at all....the male wanna be might be but we can test his patience a bit longer. After all, he approached me not visa versa. Whenever you can get to it is fine. If it is something that cannot be sent via collarme email just let me know and I will send you my regular email address. Thank you very much.

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RE: sub/slave questionaire - 5/27/2006 1:45:28 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lisa1978

I think that would be a nice list to receive but not all at once within the first couple of messages. I would suggest a section here and there as the intitial Email phase is at work. Gives both sides things to write about and make comments.

I have received long checklists things before and to be honest, they were overwhelming and felt like I was being pushed and/or objectified immediately.

My .02 worth.

Yes it can be overwhelming for someone to expect you to go through all the checklists, make sure you fill it our as you see fit, then send it back....and either not get a reply or after a short while be told, you don't fit the bill. I actually have done a questionnaire about myself which I send to subs once I feel after a few emails that I want to make sure we fit before meeting. I like the idea of this in order for me to update it on occasion, to really show someone what I really do like/want/expect, and to show them that, yes, I am for real.

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GLBT approved.

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