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New Dom - 11/10/2011 3:38:03 AM

shook101

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/31/2008
Status: offline

i am a relativly new Dominant male 51 yo in Western AUstralia
how do i meet and make my own a submissive woman?
I think that i come on too strong for a lot of you out there and i am sorry
i am honest and open and will always tell the truth, maye thats whats wrong i hope not as i cant change
I am open to suggestions and assistance
i am not a freak or a mad man just someone very interested in the lifestyle of having an equal out and about but a slave at home both mentally and physically
thanks for listening

< Message edited by shook101 -- 11/10/2011 3:39:24 AM >

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RE: New Dom - 11/10/2011 3:57:47 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

Are you interested in participating in group events? That's a good way to meet blatantly kinky people and be face to face with them and have conversations.
If not, then you have other options -- if you rely on the internet; the best impressions of you will be either your profile, or forum posts. Right now, your profile says very little about who you are. Chicks usually like to get an idea of who you are beyond your sex/kink interests.
You can also try joining Fetlife -- Fetlife has more specialized groups for regions; you can search the name of your city and probably find people living there, or groups that are nearby. Fetlife also has more designators besides Dom/sub/switch -- so maybe you can find something that's more fitting for who you are.
Alternatively, you could get into the business of trying to "sniff out" kinky women hiding in plain sight, but that can get a little tricky...

Your profile says you're a switch which will honestly probably knock you down a few pegs for a lot of submissive women. Not all of them, of course, but a lot of them. Your profile statement -- "My mind and body are available." -- sounds like something a submissive man would say; if you've read a lot of msub profiles, it sounds like the stuff you see in them. Your profile says you're interested in meeting both sub and Dom women -- a statement like that without much clarification makes it seem like you aren't terribly interested in who you get, you just want anything. That may not be how you intend it, obviously, but it's kinda how it reads.

Give some insight into what you offer as a Dominant (or a submissive) -- go into a little more detail so that people reading your profile get a better understanding of who you are. Do you realize how many men 45 and up there are with profiles flashing their bums, and basically saying "Hey, I'm here,let's get busy?" -- there are a lot of them, and unless you flesh out your profile, add some vanilla interests, and show yourself as a well-rounded individual, you'll just get lost in the fog.

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"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to shook101)

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RE: New Dom - 11/10/2011 4:20:48 AM

shook101

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/31/2008
Status: offline

thank you
i never looked at my profile that way before just again too quick and eager to get it up there
will sit down and with your help rearrane it
thank you so much

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

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RE: New Dom - 11/10/2011 4:24:16 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

No problemo -- people here generally seem to like helping others flesh out profiles, so feel free to ask for more input if you need it.

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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to shook101)

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RE: New Dom - 11/10/2011 5:28:57 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Dude, I looked at your profile. It needs work.

1. What possessed you to post a pic of you mooning people? There may be a few women interested in your ass, but there will be far more turned off by tawdriness.
2. Your first two paragraphs make it seem like you're looking for multiple women, just for play partner purposes. Nothing wrong with that, but most women here want relationships. And I don't think it's what you really want.
3. Drop the "i am a little overweight but am working on it but it is a slow hard road" and the "im not seeking perfection but i am seeking a willing submissive"bits. The first sounds apologetic - replace it with something like "I'm working on my weight". The second says nothing.
4. Fix the discrepancies. Your profile text says you want a female for a monogamous relationship. Your Preferences state that you're bi and will take sub men and sub couples. The text says you're a beginner. Your Preferences state that you're an Expert at spanking and watersports. Your text says that you're not plugged in and your Preferences state that you love the local BDSM community.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

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RE: New Dom - 11/10/2011 5:40:13 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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i have to disagree on some points, DS --

the first bits of it didn't really say "looking for multiple women," at least not to me. and if he IS looking for multiple women, that's okay -- just because a lot of women here want relationships, doesnt mean that men have to cater to that, or that there aren't women who DON'T want relationships.

also, i didn't find the "little overweight but working on it" part apologetic. and i read the "not seeking perfection" as a nicer way of saying "age/size not an issue."
i guess he could say "I'm working to get healthier and in better shape;" that's a little more to-the-point. a lot of sub women do like to-the-point directness.
but either way, most women like to see some sign of someone who's interested in bettering himself.

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"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: New Dom - 11/10/2011 7:23:54 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shook101

I think that i come on too strong for a lot of you out there and i am sorry

There's a difference between dominant and domineering. Read the definitions and take them to heart. I would also recommend the book "The Loving Dominant" for some insight.

quote:

i am honest and open and will always tell the truth, maye thats whats wrong i hope not as i cant change

If you expect someone to trust enough to be in control, you need to be honest.

quote:

i am not a freak or a mad man just someone very interested in the lifestyle of having an equal out and about but a slave at home both mentally and physically

You should check to see if there are local communities near you. Get out participate and find yourself a mentor.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to shook101)

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RE: New Dom - 11/10/2011 11:38:15 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

A couple of things I noticed. You must have changed your profile from switch to Dominant, I hope that reflects your true feelings - that you are Dominant and not a switch. A woman who is expecting Domination is going to notice if you weren't completely truthful. Another thing is that you're bi, quite frankly many women have reported that is a turnoff. Don't be surprised if it seems to work against you, but also don't change it just to get someone as that would be dishonest.

I'm wondering if what you call coming on too strong is that you're addressing all kink and sex and not trying to get to know these women as people? I've had a lot of guys whose first contact to me is something like hey....I noticed you like spanking. I like spanking. How about if we get together and I spank you? See, I'm going to need to know more about someone to know if I want them to spank me, I need to get to know them as people. If you are approaching women from one angle and they feel like you're only interested in that, they might not feel like they want to get to know you. Even though this is a kink site look at it as though you were invited to a party- what would you say to a woman there?

Honesty is good, but socially you don't go around telling people certain things when it's inappropriate to do so. You can't go around getting yourself a slave until you get to know her as a woman first, and see if the two of you match well. Having an interest in this lifestyle is great, but if kink is the only thing you're putting out about yourself then it might turn people away. That's not being honest or open, it's being inappropriate. No one is telling you to change that, just think of when it would be a good time to discuss it, like after you're getting to know someone.

(in reply to shook101)

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