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SadisticMs2 -> RE: Tributes... (11/11/2011 9:24:13 AM)
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So let me give you the perspective of a lifestyle Domme who does not require tribute AND who is looking for that part time male sub to play with.
The first thing you have to get through your head is that ENGAGING IN KINK IS NOT A PERSONAL RIGHT FOR YOU. No one is obligated to provide you with kinky activities just because you want them. In order to engage in kinky activities, you will need to make some tough choices in your life and follow some hard paths. Many of us have already done the hard work and made the hard decisions, and we're not going take kindly to guys who think we somehow NEED to be their fetish delivery service just because you decided you want it.
If you're involved with someone (as you are), I'd have to meet her to consider playing with you. And let me tell you - that person had better be on board with you seeing someone else or there's no possibility I'd engage in anything with you. Likewise, you'd also be required to meet with my partner. Expect that there will be regular check ins with your partner AND mine.
Have you spent a fair amount of time educating yourself about all this, meaning NOT LOOKING AT PORN, but doing things like reading books, reading informative sites, discussing on sites like this? I'm going to guess probably not since you seem to think that all a sub has to do is show up. Educate yourself. Put in the time and effort. Learn some other skills like massage, cooking, cleaning, mechanics, etc that you can offer as service to a potential Domme.
Want to experience being flogged, paddled, whipped, tied up? You've invested a couple hundred in starting to build a quality toy bag of your own, right? A good flogger is at least $100; good leather cuffs aren't much less. You don't expect a Domme to just provide everything for you, right?
Can you provide a clean, safe playspace? If you live with Mom and Dad or the girlfriend or a roommate, then expect to pay for a decent hotel room at least half the time if not all the time.
You've spent some time getting involved in your local scene and going to munches, right? If you're in NJ, there are plenty of local groups, as there are in Philly and NYC, depending on where in NJ you are. What? You haven't? There are THOUSANDS of male subs in the area that will never do anything but go online; the ONLY way you can differentiate yourself as someone more serious about all this is to get out there.
Expect there to be costs involved just like there would be costs involved in dating. Meals out. Munches. The occasional con or educational function. A few gifts here and there like a book you think I'd like or a plant for my garden.
You've also spent some time working on your manners, right? Know how to be a gentleman and act accordingly. Dommes don't generally put up with the disrespect that most women seem to tolerate these days. And btw, if you disrespect me, you'd not only have to hear it from me, but also my partner AND my sub, because they are Knights all.
Expect to have to court me, to show me your worthiness as a human being, to show me friendship, and to show me why I should like you BEFORE a flogger will ever touch your back. Learn my rules and follow them with any BS or negotiations or whining. Understand that what YOU want is WAY secondary to what I want. If MY way doesn't work for you, excuse yourself and move on because you are not going to manipulate changes.
Don't want to get the GF involved or put the work? Then shell out a couple hundred an hour (not $100 or even $75) for a prodomme. Or don't. It honestly wouldn't matter to me.
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