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virgin Anal sex - 11/12/2011 12:56:54 PM

Naughtygirl225

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I'm just wondering what does it feel like to have anal sex for the first time and what are the health risks?

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/12/2011 1:16:28 PM

LillyBoPeep

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What it was like for me may not be what it's like for you. Everyone is different and their experiences all have unique twists to them.

For me, the first time hurt a lot and there was a lot of crying. But I was hooked. =p
Now, it still hurts a lot, and there's still crying, but it's undeniably awesome. One of those things I said I'd never ever ever do, but my Guy was seriously into it so... away I went. =p

For some people, their first time comes with no discomfort at all. I personally find this hard to imagine, but it's true for some. They're lubed up enough either with artificial lube or the good old natural kind, and their anatomy is just right wth their partner and it just sorta "works."

For other people, it's a good idea to proceed slowly with smaller objects first -- fingers are a good intro, leading up to different insertable toys... dildos, plugs, etc, in all manner of materials.

ETA: a material i really like for this is glass. Well glass or anything else that's rigid and smooth. to me, this is a great material because 1) the rigidity is really necessary for getting past a pretty strong muscle, and 2) it's very smooth, so you get extra slip instead of getting drag -- some rubbery materials, at least to me, feel draggy and it seems like it's more difficult to get used to.
(glass has the added benefit of being temperature-adjustable)

Lube is REALLY important if you're just starting. Some veterans throw the lube out the window and just go for it, but when you're new, I think it's really important to proceed a little slowly.
A lot of people recommend silicone lubes because they stay slippery for aeons (water-based ones can dehydrate and get sticky instead of slippery), and also don't eat up condoms.
The greatest medical risk (from just plain old anal sex; stretching or other stuff with more extreme toys have other risks, but that's another topic altogether) that I know of is tearing, and if you get tears back there, they can be difficult to heal because of the nature of the area.

A lot of people also say that you should always wear condoms because of infection risks to the male partner, but many people don't bother with condoms and have no problems. Your partner will have to look into that (unless this is involving a strap-on) and see what he feels about it.

i really can't stress how important lube is. its like... really important.

Oh also -- for some people, being on top for their first time is better; they feel that if they're in control of the depth and speed of penetration, then they are more confident and less likely to get hurt.
For me, on the other hand, since anal is kinda ouchy and scares me (despite the fact that I like it), if I'm on top, we'll never get anywhere. It's better for me to have someone else be in charge.
Also, pushing out (yeah, kinda like you're going potty... ah soo bad =p) helps becuase it causes the area to open up a little.

And try to relax -- if you tense up, you can cause a lot more discomfort. For me, I try to stay still and I do this thing where I start relaxing my hands, arms, shoulders, all the way down my body until I feel like a sack of flour -- sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. But being relaxed always helps in SOME way.

A lot of these things are really individual things -- except lube. Lube lube lube.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 11/12/2011 1:24:37 PM >

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/12/2011 1:57:28 PM

JstAnotherSub

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My first time I was allowed to control how fast and how hard. It actually didn't take me long at all to be begging for it harder. Then, he added a bullet to my clit and I turned into a pile of molten lava for a long time I think. It is still kinda blurry

.

That was also the last time I was able to control how fast and how hard.

I love anal. It is a sensation that is like no other. It hurts so fucking good.

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/12/2011 3:32:48 PM

SubvsSlave

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Hi Naughtygirl225,

LilyBoPeep's response is so in-depth with great advice that I can't think of much more to add. My first time was not planned and the pain was excruciatingly exquisite. I had him stop thrusting and I just stayed there on my knees breathing in and out, (kinda like the Lamaze technique) and slowly got my body to relax. To reiterate what LilyBoPeep said, lube, lube, and then more lube. Once I relaxed enough to continue we kept at it and I've been in love with anal sex ever since.

Just be aware of not crossing the border in one session...UTI's are painful and can lead to serious health issues.

Enjoy!!!

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/12/2011 4:10:58 PM

Tantriqu

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Also remember, just like a woman's first time for vaginal sex, there is no rush, and it doesn't have to be bloody and painful, and should end with an orgasm or three.

I'm a big fan of getting your partner used to it first, to ensure you both have an idea of the mechanics and be sure to TALK about it and give immediate COMMENTS and feedback.

Start with a fingerpad on the OUTSIDE against the anus, and bring him to orgasm so he can get familiar with new sensations :-)

Then a condom- or fingercot- covered finger just inside his ass; there are two sphincters, the outer and inner. Agree with the lube/lube/lube as above; I prefer WARM Astroglide and a spray bottle of warm water to rehydrate it if need be. If he's ready, I get him to take a deep breath and bear down, and pushing down and in [if he's on his knees] go beyond in the outer sphincter, and once his ass has stopped twitching ;-), then past the inner sphincter. I pump a bit once he's comfortable. Then two fingers, and perhaps three, then I use a small dildo with a flared base.
Once he's ok with that, then a strap-on, and Let The Games Begin!
Never put a big dildo or a cock into an ass until it's been lubed and relaxed by LOTS of foreplay and lube.
Condoms [esp. fun with ridges!] make clean-up much easier. Lots of women are getting anal herpes from not getting their partners tested, or spooning after the condom comes off, so be sure to be safe.
Have a thick garbage bag, warm facecloth or babywipes ready; the shit smell really lingers, and if you're limp with post-orgasmic bliss, it's a real drag to try to hop into a shower.

Despite everyone's precautions, you may get a split or tear, which you'll feel will rip back open with every bowel movement. If it's very painful or large or doesn't heal in a day or two, see a doctor, and don't be embarrassed: tell the truth.
And it's even the small splits and tears that increase the risk of infections including AIDS from anal sex, so don't trust your partner until he's been tested for EVERYTHING and you're sure he doesn't have any other partners.

That being said, anal orgasms are amazing. Just be safe.

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/12/2011 5:01:20 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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I love anal sex, always have, even the first time.

Some basics to pay attention to:

Anal sex can be messy in a non-romantic way. Many people use an enema before hand, and make it part of the play (lovely humiliation) or not, depending on your bent. But remember, you should not penetrate an anus with anything other than a finger or your tongue for a good 20-30 minutes after an enema.

Start slow. If the penetrator does not have patience, the penetratee can easily end up hating anal sex. So use your fingers, your tongue, a small blunt tool that you know will not cause injury to play around the anus and to attempt to relax the anal rings.

There are two anal rings, an inner and an outer. The outer one you can relax, the inner one, not so much. Which means the first penetrative thrust needs to be firm and decisive. You can't worry that you will hurt the person (you will), your goal is to penetrate the inner anal ring w/o too much trauma. Think fast firm thrust.

Lube is your friend. I suppose it is possible to have too much lube during your first attempt at anal sex, but it's not probable. Lube everything in sight: the outer anus, the inner anus, your cock or strap on, and then lube again a few times just to make sure.

One you have achieved that first thrust and have penetrated the inner anal ring. stop. Just plain fucking stop. Assure your sub that you will not move until they want you to. Hold, and in a few moments you should feel them relax around your dick (or your device). Once you are sure that has happened (yes, even uber doms ask), you begin to slowly and carefully thrust. Don't thrust too hard and don't thrust too deep, remember the first time is not about YOU, the penetrator, it's about getting a second shot at that delicious asshole.

Use slow, gentle, shallow thrusts until you feel your partner thrusting back. If you would like to add an additional enhancement, (bullet on the clit comes to mind), this is a great time to do so.

Keep increasing speed, intensity and depth while watching your sub carefully. If they back off, slow down, if they are fucking back at you with increased intensity, keep going for it until the desired result is achieved.

Have fun, Asswhore Chatte

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/12/2011 5:28:02 PM

winspiritsbaby

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~FR~

I'm not gonna lie. My first and subsequent trials with anal have been miserable, but I blame my partners' impatience (or my stupidity of not being more observant of their patience levels in other aspects). I have heard that anal sex can be enjoyable so I had kept trying a few times, then I said no more. However, it is not on my list of limits with Win, and that is because I know him to be a patient man and one of his rules is that we will do nothing before I am ready. So we will see sometime in the future, I'm sure.

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/18/2011 6:42:10 AM

PrincessOz

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Hiya,

A friend told me that the best way to relax that area is for the person wanting to penetrate (penetrator) to use his/her tongue till the outside ring relaxes and then use plenty of lube.
For me, I don't really want to do it to myself. I'd rather be trained by a patient Dom. If left up to me (although the sensation of digital penetration is amazing) I wouldn't be doing anything to train myself.
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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/18/2011 7:05:12 AM

Rule

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You will loose the fine control of your sphincter and henceforth fart loudly.

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/18/2011 8:45:49 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Kegels have kept things ship shape for me.

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/18/2011 9:04:13 AM

anniezz338

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i was fortunate indeed....a very patient Dom, lots of lube, encouragement, relax and breath time but taken it was the first time we tried - smile. It was actually this year and He is still the only one going there.

i feel it was damd uncomfortable getting past the sphincter (the relax and breath here), and it still is to a lesser degree. After the initial few minutes, i get a little drifty...it's very erotic, feels awesome and i love it. I use an enima a couple of hours befoe i see him.

They do have anal lubes that have some benzocaine for numbing....but that was a no from Him so i have no feedback on that one, tho the option is out there.

ETA: the short answer is it feels like a dick fucking your ass.

< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 11/18/2011 9:19:32 AM >

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/18/2011 2:15:28 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I love anal sex, always have, even the first time.

Some basics to pay attention to:

Anal sex can be messy in a non-romantic way. Many people use an enema before hand, and make it part of the play (lovely humiliation) or not, depending on your bent. But remember, you should not penetrate an anus with anything other than a finger or your tongue for a good 20-30 minutes after an enema.

Start slow. If the penetrator does not have patience, the penetratee can easily end up hating anal sex. So use your fingers, your tongue, a small blunt tool that you know will not cause injury to play around the anus and to attempt to relax the anal rings.

There are two anal rings, an inner and an outer. The outer one you can relax, the inner one, not so much. Which means the first penetrative thrust needs to be firm and decisive. You can't worry that you will hurt the person (you will), your goal is to penetrate the inner anal ring w/o too much trauma. Think fast firm thrust.

Lube is your friend. I suppose it is possible to have too much lube during your first attempt at anal sex, but it's not probable. Lube everything in sight: the outer anus, the inner anus, your cock or strap on, and then lube again a few times just to make sure.

One you have achieved that first thrust and have penetrated the inner anal ring. stop. Just plain fucking stop. Assure your sub that you will not move until they want you to. Hold, and in a few moments you should feel them relax around your dick (or your device). Once you are sure that has happened (yes, even uber doms ask), you begin to slowly and carefully thrust. Don't thrust too hard and don't thrust too deep, remember the first time is not about YOU, the penetrator, it's about getting a second shot at that delicious asshole.

Use slow, gentle, shallow thrusts until you feel your partner thrusting back. If you would like to add an additional enhancement, (bullet on the clit comes to mind), this is a great time to do so.

Keep increasing speed, intensity and depth while watching your sub carefully. If they back off, slow down, if they are fucking back at you with increased intensity, keep going for it until the desired result is achieved.

Have fun, Asswhore Chatte

This post has a ton of great information in it but I disagree with one point:

quote:

There are two anal rings, an inner and an outer. The outer one you can relax, the inner one, not so much. Which means the first penetrative thrust needs to be firm and decisive. You can't worry that you will hurt the person (you will), your goal is to penetrate the inner anal ring w/o too much trauma. Think fast firm thrust.

Anal sex need not necessarily hurt.
I never knew this until I read Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin.

Now some people like the pain and for some people the more pain the better. Some people crave the feeling of being claimed there with/without foreplay and some people enjoy it not for themselves per se but because it is something their dominant partner desires.

My experience has been that with adequate preparation pain is optional.

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/18/2011 5:54:58 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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It hurts a lot, its uncomfortable as Hell, and I really dislike it. Lube mitigates that a little, but not much.

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/18/2011 7:07:14 PM

Aileen1968

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It feels great. I hate it with lube. It makes it too smooth.
Spit is so much nicer and creates a lot of friction.

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 11/20/2011 2:36:09 PM

subspacepilot2

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Naughtygirl225, as far as health risks there are some.

Since the tissues of the rectum/anus are very enriched with capillaries, and since feces often is gritty for one reason or another, especially if one enjoys nuts, there is an increased risk of bloodborne pathogen transmission.

Thus if a condom is not use there is an increased risk of transmission of the bloodborne pathogens HIV which turns to AIDS, and also Hepatitis B. The risk can be eliminated by using a condom or proper testing to make sure that each partner is free from Hep B and HIV. If you prefer not to use a condom both can be tested for Hep B or alternatively both could be immunized against it. Simply ask your medical practitioner for the vaccination series (assuming that you have some medical coverage) and if asked why simply say that the other partner (who will not likely be present) enjoys butt-fucking (then innocently roll your eyes) I promise you they won't blink and if they do, you ought to find another medical practitioner.

Hepatitis A is fecal-oral route. If your partner is Hep A positive, even without anal intercourse it is likely that you will become infected with it. If your partner's origin is foreign especially Asia or South America Hep A vaccination will prevent infection. Hep A is endemic is Asia and for instance, in Mexico City.

E Coli, the predominant bacteria in our feces is usually not a problem. A sexual partner will, almost always, become immune to their partner's E coli since preventing transmission is impossible.

If a partner is HSV (Herpes +) and if you are not, and the initial site of infection is at or near the anus the infected partner can develop HSV (either oral or genital) sited around the anus. If you have been partners for months and one is HSV+ but the other is not, you will likely have been infected genitally and/or orally, though since most HSV is asymptomatic, if you become infected you may never notice an outbreak.

If a partner has one of partners has HPV (one of the ~50+ strains of genital warts--though most do not grow warts) again the shedding of virus from the infected partner can be transmitted to the uninfected partner in the area around the anus. Again, if you have been partners for awhile, and you screw without condoms you have already been infected and so it is unlikely that the anus will become the site that outbreaks will occur.

Anal sex should NEVER (take notes doms who think otherwise) be followed by vaginal intercourse without proper washing (or removing the condom and washing). Females are at high risk of E coli bladder infections, but men are not. The reason is simple: The distance from the meatus (opening of the urethra) to the bladder is a mere inch or inch and a half in females, but in males, well, we all know it's at least 10." E coli are flagellated bacteria--they are good swimmers and can swim up the urethra an inch within a few hours, thus causing a bladder infection. In males, since all are at least 10" or maybe if they are humble 8" the E coli never make it to the bladder--they get peed out.

There are other rare risks but as far as I'm concerned it's not worth mentioning them.

I suppose this makes a strong case for the use of condoms especially if you change partners frequently. If however you are long-term and expect to stay that way, doing without a condom can be quite nice, I think.

In my humble opinion anal intercourse not only can be totally painless--it should be. Women can orgasm by anal intercourse--but they will never orgasm if they experience pain. The anus can stretched to a rather amazing amount and is capable of being stretched to any penis size provided that the woman is totally relaxed. The anus is not used to sensing things coming from that direction, and apprehension can cause muscle spasm and the sphincter muscles are quite powerful. If a woman is fearful and the muscles spasm there is a small risk of a tiny tear known as an anal fissure. The bottom line (pardon the pun) is to take as many minutes/hours/days or whatever so that the entire act is no only painless, but highly erotic to the women--or don't do it at all (unless of course you're a masochistic pain-slut; and even there I suggest that this area is not really a good one for force + pain. Fissures can become problematic.

I apologize for grammatical or spelling errors--for some reason the preview button does not work for me.

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RE: virgin Anal sex - 1/14/2012 11:17:23 PM

Zechriel

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Good evening!

Oh girl I am right with you! Tons of great advice here but lube and patience I think are the best. My first anal had me crying, torn, and heading to the ER...not fun and definietly put me off it for about 5 years. I even hated getting a colonoscopy so bad, they put me to sleep!

Sir knew all this and still went ahead with me. But he used his finger and was very very gentle and slow. He talked to me the whole time and told me everything he was doing, calming me down. First time he did use some kind of cream but I don'tthink he did after that. Anyways, when he was pulling out and I got scared, he told me a great trick to distract me-wiggle your toes. It works! oh and breath!

Now I want more but am still scared but I think it will be okay...it's all about having someone who knows what they're doing and will be doing it well. We haven't used enemas yet-didn't need to-but Sir said it was more for humiliation than cleaning. So I can't help you there. Take care and just breathe darling!

Love,
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RE: virgin Anal sex - 1/16/2012 6:01:45 PM

NCtriadsub

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Anal sex can be fun or a complete disaster as Im sure most of you know.

As from the submissive side, I have learned a few things that may help.

Enemas are important, get clean before you start anal incursions or it will get messy and ruin your night. No Domme wants a messy submissive when they are plowing your ass.

A plug is a good way to loosen yourself before anal play and can be easily taken out before play begins and will make penetration more fluid as easy to take. Also plugs are great for when you may be getting involved in that sort of fun but not sure when and can easily be worn for long periods of time without any problems. (your ready and able at a moments notice, so to speak)

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