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RE: Ask the Demon - 5/31/2006 9:44:02 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

http://www.collarme.com/details.asp?px=VandalHeart

Dear Vandal:

A Hottie Dom has asked me to visit and get f**ked. He has also offered traveling funds. Do You think He's sensible enough to pay for air fare, or a cheap so-and-so Who will want me to ride a bus?

If He offers me a ticket on a stinky old bus, should i still go?

Sincerely,

pinkee

< Message edited by pinkee -- 5/31/2006 9:53:08 AM >

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 61

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/1/2006 7:18:43 AM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

Dear Betwixt and Between,

Demons
don't
do
busses.

Sincerely,
Lord Vandal Heart

P.S. - If you are going to imply that you are going to be fucked, at least spell it out. We like that word. It gives us power...I mean pleasure.

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 62

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/1/2006 7:22:53 AM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

Dear B&B,

HOWEVER...if you have ever wanted to ride a train, I'm sure the unholy host (sorry, couldn't resist) would not only be willing to pay for it, but would highly reccomend the experience. Remember B&B, and everyone reading, try everything twice, on the off chance that you got it wrong the first time.

Except for cow tipping. While I enjoy a good steak now and again, it has been my experience that the noble beasts of the field are best left to their own devices.

Sincerely, and don't question my authoritah,
Lord Vandal Heart

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 63

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/1/2006 7:35:06 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

Dear B&B,

HOWEVER...if you have ever wanted to ride a train, I'm sure the unholy host (sorry, couldn't resist) would not only be willing to pay for it, but would highly reccomend the experience. Remember B&B, and everyone reading, try everything twice, on the off chance that you got it wrong the first time.

Except for cow tipping. While I enjoy a good steak now and again, it has been my experience that the noble beasts of the field are best left to their own devices.

Sincerely, and don't question my authoritah,
Lord Vandal Heart

Dear Vandal:

Just wanted to say "Thank You". i have a major train ride "thingie"; but i will need a sleeper car.

Sincerely,

pinkee

P.S. i try not to ask advice from HNGs, but it is a public message board, so, oh well.

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 64

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/2/2006 12:35:02 AM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

How am I an HNG?

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 65

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/2/2006 1:54:54 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

How am I an HNG?

Dear Vandal:

i spoke without clarity to a wonderful Dom and now He's wondering wtf?

Should i apologise and buy Him a pressie? What do You think He'd like?

Sincerely,

pinkee

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 66

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/2/2006 2:44:12 AM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

Dear Treading Lightly,

I'm sure the Evil One would be happy with just an explanation and a Guinness. Or some travel arrangement info so he can help pay for a trip for your presence.

Just a thought,
Lord Vandal Heart

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 67

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/2/2006 4:30:18 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Dear Demon,

For you. . .

http://www.spoil-sports.com/FCC.htm

Have a nice day.

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 68

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/2/2006 7:57:39 PM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

Dear On the Lookout,

You always know just what to get for me. Remember kids, in a democracy, protest is the truest form of patriotism.

Good looking out, dear fucked one,
Lord Vandal Heart

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 69

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/4/2006 4:07:43 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Dear Demon,

My play partner has not been available for a couple days now (some blather about work and a lack of sleep or something. Like I was listening). I am starting to feel neglected and horny. What's a switch to do? Should I play hard-to-get the next time I see him, or should I force him to his knees to umm. . . "satisfy my needs"? Of course there is always the choice of spiking his drink with a date-rape drug that makes you forget what you did. . . how do I "score" those?

Sighing. . .

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 70

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/4/2006 10:32:32 AM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

Dear Sighing,

Well, you can always work out some kind of deal with an infernal being to get the chemicals you require, which by the way, is my advice given the options. I am sorry to hear that your play partner is being neglectful and would happily help you drug and ravage his lifeless, unsuspecting, bald, caucasian mostly irish body - oh god, it's me isn't it? Shit. Um...disregard all the advice I have given you so far and do this. Buy him a brand new video game and a bunch of flowers and seduce him. That should take care of things. And don't kill him...please?

Loves and hugs and kisses and pleading for my life,
Lord Vandal Heart

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 71

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/4/2006 12:29:03 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

Dear Vandal:

My "sleeping car train thingie" has a f**kig/bondage/kidnapping/etc. aspect to it. Should i tell the Hottie Dom?

Sincerely,

pinkee

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 72

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/4/2006 4:14:12 PM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

Oh how quaint... trying to be like loki without the style, class or sense of humor...

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 73

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/4/2006 8:40:34 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

Go piss up a tree, Dustyn.

pinkee

(in reply to Dustyn)

Post #: 74

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/4/2006 11:14:30 PM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

Dear Petty and Overappreciated Assisted Masturbation Tool with the Mental Stature of a Labotomized Lemming,

THE FUCKING NANOSECOND YOU HAVE SO MUCH AS AN INCH OF ROOM TO ACCUSE ANYONE OF THOSE THINGS, DUSTYN, THEN I WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY. UNTIL THEN, I HAVE STOPPED POSTING ON TOO MANY THREADS BECAUSE OF YOUR PRESENCE, AND YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS ONE AWAY FROM ME. REMEMBER, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, I KNOW WHERE YOU WORK, AND I HAVE MET QUITE A FEW OF YOUR FRIENDS - AND THEY DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE. NOT ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE THE FUCKING SALINE TO SPARE FOR TEARS AT THE HEARING TO DECLARE YOUR MISSING ASS LEGALLY DEAD, YOU WALKING PILE OF FERMENTED SHIT. I'M SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF SEEING YOUR IDIOCY EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THIS SITE. YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF STAYING ON TOPIC, AND YOUR ONLY PURPOSE HERE IS TO GET ATTENTION AND ANNOY THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY HERE TO DISCUSS THINGS THAT YOUR MONGOLOID MIND DOESN'T HAVE THE CAPACITY TO SO MUCH AS IMAGINE. SHUT UP, GO AWAY, AND FIND THE O.P. OF THE "how many fake fakes and real fakes there are on here" THREAD, BECAUSE WITH THE LEVEL OF COHERENCE AND RESPECT TO OTHERS HE SHOWED, HE IS EITHER YOUR MENTAL SUPERIOR OR YOUR SECOND PROFILE. EITHER WAY, YOU AND HE NEED TO FUCK, BECAUSE YOU NEED A GOOD ASS REAMING IN THE FIRST CASE, AND IN THE SECOND CASE, JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF. FUCK YOU, AND FUCK ANYBODY WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU.

Sincerely, and without a single ounce of respect,
Lord Vandal Heart (THAT MEANS KNEEL, YOU PIECE OF SHIT)

P.S. - AT WHAT POINT DID I EVEN SO MUCH AS IMPLY THAT THIS THREAD WAS DESIGNED TO ENTERTAIN YOU, YOU JUVENILE COCKGOBBLER?

< Message edited by VandalHeart -- 6/4/2006 11:19:22 PM >

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 75

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/4/2006 11:17:28 PM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

Oh...almost forgot.

Dearest pinkee,

Of course you should, but look for one just like it in another compartment that has a lock and some soundproofing on it. I need to lock up a problem.

Sincerely,
Lord Vandal Heart

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 76

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/5/2006 7:15:37 AM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

Gee, that sounds like a threat... Wonder if I should inform the K.B. I. about a terroristic threat on my life... Hmmmm...

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 77

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/5/2006 8:34:49 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn

Gee, that sounds like a threat... Wonder if I should inform the K.B. I. about a terroristic threat on my life... Hmmmm...

Here's a threat You can report Dustyn: Dun f**k with P/pl i care about. Figure out the consequences for Yourself. Now get the f**k off this thread. We're having fun and You're a downer.

pinkee

(in reply to Dustyn)

Post #: 78

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/5/2006 8:36:52 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

Dear Petty and Overappreciated Assisted Masturbation Tool with the Mental Stature of a Labotomized Lemming,

THE FUCKING NANOSECOND YOU HAVE SO MUCH AS AN INCH OF ROOM TO ACCUSE ANYONE OF THOSE THINGS, DUSTYN, THEN I WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY. UNTIL THEN, I HAVE STOPPED POSTING ON TOO MANY THREADS BECAUSE OF YOUR PRESENCE, AND YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS ONE AWAY FROM ME. REMEMBER, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, I KNOW WHERE YOU WORK, AND I HAVE MET QUITE A FEW OF YOUR FRIENDS - AND THEY DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE. NOT ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE THE FUCKING SALINE TO SPARE FOR TEARS AT THE HEARING TO DECLARE YOUR MISSING ASS LEGALLY DEAD, YOU WALKING PILE OF FERMENTED SHIT. I'M SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF SEEING YOUR IDIOCY EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THIS SITE. YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF STAYING ON TOPIC, AND YOUR ONLY PURPOSE HERE IS TO GET ATTENTION AND ANNOY THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY HERE TO DISCUSS THINGS THAT YOUR MONGOLOID MIND DOESN'T HAVE THE CAPACITY TO SO MUCH AS IMAGINE. SHUT UP, GO AWAY, AND FIND THE O.P. OF THE "how many fake fakes and real fakes there are on here" THREAD, BECAUSE WITH THE LEVEL OF COHERENCE AND RESPECT TO OTHERS HE SHOWED, HE IS EITHER YOUR MENTAL SUPERIOR OR YOUR SECOND PROFILE. EITHER WAY, YOU AND HE NEED TO FUCK, BECAUSE YOU NEED A GOOD ASS REAMING IN THE FIRST CASE, AND IN THE SECOND CASE, JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF. FUCK YOU, AND FUCK ANYBODY WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU.

Sincerely, and without a single ounce of respect,
Lord Vandal Heart (THAT MEANS KNEEL, YOU PIECE OF SHIT)

P.S. - AT WHAT POINT DID I EVEN SO MUCH AS IMPLY THAT THIS THREAD WAS DESIGNED TO ENTERTAIN YOU, YOU JUVENILE COCKGOBBLER?

Dear Vandal:

i need to expand my vocabulary, partcularly in the area of cursing. Do You know of a good tutor?

Sincerely,

pinkee

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Post #: 79

RE: Ask the Demon - 6/5/2006 9:02:46 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Dear Demon,

So yeah... mirrored sunglasses are unsettling at the very least. When I kiss my boyfriend, I don't want to end up seeing myself. *Shudders*. How do I get him to take them off first?

Reflectively in Kansas,

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 80

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