I blew it

I blew it (Full Version)

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verybluize -> I blew it (5/27/2006 7:08:50 PM)
Does anyone have advice on how to possibly get back into the good graces of a Dominant Woman who I didn't get a chance to meet because I got over eager and wrote some emails that made me sound like a self centered will o' the wisp? I forgot that it was all about what She wants and now am in exile.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: I blew it (5/27/2006 7:15:24 PM)
Kiss ass by whatever means necessary, or quit and find someone who wants the same things you want. M

MistressSassy66 -> RE: I blew it (5/27/2006 7:17:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig Kiss ass by whatever means necessary, or quit and find someone who wants the same things you want. M Agreed.

MHOO314 -> RE: I blew it (5/27/2006 7:27:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: verybluize Does anyone have advice on how to possibly get back into the good graces of a Dominant Woman who I didn't get a chance to meet because I got over eager and wrote some emails that made me sound like a self centered will o' the wisp? I forgot that it was all about what She wants and now am in exile. How can a "true submissive" forget who it is about--those words say to Me, you play in "character"--you will never get her back, IMHO--I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire.

ladylexington -> RE: I blew it (5/27/2006 8:47:46 PM)
Well, you are in a spot. The fact that you wrote "some e-mails" indicates that you made this mistake more than once. If you are lucky, she's cut you off to teach you a lesson, and may reconsider you later. In the meantime, learn more about the community. (I noticed that this was your first post.) Talk to other submissives, read the boards, and reply when you have something to offer. It will help keep your mind off your situation -- and maybe teach you more about the attitude that the Mistress was seeking.

Misstoyou -> RE: I blew it (5/27/2006 8:58:24 PM)
Sorry. No flashes of brillance from me, I'm afraid. Once I make my decisions, I move on. Perhaps, if she's still accepting your messages, you can email her that you'll be withdrawing to reflect on what she's told you, and what you've done wrong. Then do it. And if you can then come up with something to really show you've gotten it now, you've got that one in a million chance she might listen. Honestly, if one I have chosen makes a mistake, that's one thing. But applicants only get one shot.

LadyHugs -> RE: I blew it (5/27/2006 9:48:51 PM)
Dear verybluize, Ladies and Gentlemen; I can only speak for myself however, once a submissive/slave blows it, I'm moving on and won't reconsider no matter how much "kissing" the shadow regions the person does. All "hounds" that follow me around, will be neutered and given distemper shots. Respectfully submitted, Lady Hugs

MisPandora -> RE: I blew it (5/27/2006 10:20:27 PM)
Sounds to me like your submission is somehow "conditional".....perhaps either because you lack training or experience, or that this is more sub-centered than dom-centered. I've generally found that a gentleman of a submissive heart doesn't just "forget" himself and do foolish things like spout off careless emails. My advice would be to step back and evaluate why you did what you did and aim to not do it with the next woman you think to pursue. Perfect your own model and understand why you wish to submit and more importantly, why you choose to submit to THAT particular woman.

subtlesubie -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 12:31:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire. Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful?

yourMissTress -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 1:41:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlesubie quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire. Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful? Interestingly enough I have never found heartfelt and sincere advice to be so distasteful as you apparently do. And furthermore, knowledge, awareness, and sincerity of self is actually considered a good thing. Getting to know yourself can be a wonderful and sometimes lifelong journey...I wonder what it is that you are so afraid to find?

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 3:41:32 AM)
If She's anything like Me, there probably isn't any way to get back into Her good graces. If She hasn't blocked you (as I would have done), you could try writing Her a letter of apology, telling Her you realize you were out of line and asking Her to reconsider. I honestly wouldn't get My hopes up, though. Probably the most important thing to do is learn from this experience and never, ever repeat it. I had a sub do the exact same thing with Me recently and he got blocked, pronto. Lady Topaz

jamesthehumanrug -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 5:18:09 AM)
run to be sucessful with another top and if she sees you she will definately remember you and compliment your new top for handling what she wouldnt and just say,to HER: i hoped you were not taking notes ;it was a one time thing and i stand corrected .

MHOO314 -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 5:38:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlesubie quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire. Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful? hmmm someone pee in your wheaties one time too many? IMHO, introspection is a life long journey--whether in or out of the life--when we stop seeking, evaluating and embracing--we become quite stagnant. he spoke about being "out of character"--as was stated, that would indicate more conditional submission---nothing wrong with that, but without some defined parameters, he could see alot of doors slammed in his face and mounting frustration. So time taken to read and ponder may be well worth the investment. Advice more than a few of us could use it would seem.

MstrssPassion -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 6:12:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 quote: ORIGINAL: subtlesubie quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire. Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful? hmmm someone pee in your wheaties one time too many? IMHO, introspection is a life long journey--whether in or out of the life--when we stop seeking, evaluating and embracing--we become quite stagnant. he spoke about being "out of character"--as was stated, that would indicate more conditional submission---nothing wrong with that, but without some defined parameters, he could see alot of doors slammed in his face and mounting frustration. So time taken to read and ponder may be well worth the investment. Advice more than a few of us could use it would seem. Actually the advice of taking time to re-evaluate & do some introspection is very valuable advice for those questioning the results of their actions. The OP wrote some emails & then he states he made himself sound self-centered. We may never know because we were not on the receiving end of these emails. So to verybluize, if you ever return to this thread & read... I agree, take some time to reflect on you. You need to figure out where you are in all of this & where you want to go & then once you figure this out you must find a way to express yourself honestly & naturally. Being in a character that fits someone else's ideal is no good especially if you are planning to meet them. Eventually you would have to live up to the reputation of a character you created. Best advice is be yourself. If the one you communicate is not in favor of the natural you... time to move on.

orfunboi -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 6:54:03 AM)
Yes, i found it to be a lot more useful, than your whiny little rant.

leatherorlace -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 7:07:07 AM)
Use the toxic enviroment syndrome as an excuse. Living in New Jersey by choice might cause you to lose some believeability. lol Gentry

Misstoyou -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 11:04:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlesubie quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire. Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful? Actually, I did. When I came on CM for the first time, it was my very first (and has remained only) personals experience. I was definitely a kid in the candy store with all these lovely submissive men. I scattered energy all over the place. Then one day I was chatting with a guy in Sweden !- don't ask, lol, and he asked me what was I really looking for, and I thought, "Damned if I know." So I left CM, and followed what MH advocates, and only returned when I was clear in my mind about exactly what I was looking for, and able to clearly convey it to attract the type of submissive that fills my needs. Okay, so I still hear from the guys that don't read, lol, but I also hear from ones that do, and get it. The same procedure will work in reverse, sub attracting Domme, as my new puppy discovered. [:)]

thetammyjo -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 3:12:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlesubie quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire. Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful? When I was starting out, this was the sort of advice that really helped me a lot. I don't think its a matter of being top or bottom, dom or sub, either. If you are more clear on yourself you can better negotiate with someone else afterall. If you can't answer questions about what you have to offer, what you are looking for, and what your limits are how are you going to stand out from the millions of others looking for some connection? For many people having knowledge and self-awareness is sexy even. One of the things that turned me on to Fox was that he was fairly self-aware for a 19 year old who had primarily learned through the Internet and through private solo play. Does that mean that self-awareness equal immediately finding a partner? Of course not. This isn't tv where you can flip around until you find something and this isn't a fast food joint where you can place an order. This is human beings making connections in a subculture that is very small compared to the vanilla world. If you only look online, you are reducing your chances even more.

TexasMaam -> RE: I blew it (5/28/2006 3:40:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlesubie quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire. Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful? "bom" "bom" "bom", ...and another sub bites the dust, "bom" "bom" "bom"....and another sub bites the dust, aaaaaand another one gone, and another one gone, another sub bites tha dust! Here's good advice to both the OP and to subtlesubie: Learn NOT to hit 'Send'! TexasMaam

MoonGoddessIsis -> RE: I blew it (5/29/2006 4:57:18 AM)
Ohhhh.... I just got an email today like this.... "Show Me that you want to be My Dominant and reply". Something along those lines. Did not make Me happy. I wish I could answer this for you but I am not even sure how I am going to handle it yet! Good luck! Lady Moon

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