A question for the Dom/mes (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message


DarkSteven -> A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 5:03:51 AM)

There's a thread about clit removal in the Sub forum.  Briefly, the idea is that the sub should not derive any pleasure from sex.

My question is, how do you as a Dom/me feel about your sub getting pleasure?  For me, it is a huge ego kick to know that she got a screaming, drenching orgasm, and I was the one that made her do it. 

How about you?




Kana -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 6:20:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There's a thread about clit removal in the Sub forum.  Briefly, the idea is that the sub should not derive any pleasure from sex.

My question is, how do you as a Dom/me feel about your sub getting pleasure?  For me, it is a huge ego kick to know that she got a screaming, drenching orgasm, and I was the one that made her do it. 

How about you?



Funny stuff. I was talking bout this last night.
I'm split on this subject. My ego wants to give her the best orgasms in history-to fulfill my internal self image as a Casanova and Valentino. Plus, it's good for her-as a friend once said, looks, money, blah, a gal goes with the guy who gives her the most orgasms.

On the flip side, I like the idea of service as being rooted in altruism, that she give with no expectations of receiving anything in return. With no reciprocation, it puts her work on a service plane, which means she'll grow spiritually and mentally from the process.
Not to mention that there's a part of me that likes treating her like nothing more than an owned piece of fuck meat for me to do with as I desire, serious no holds barred hard core old school slavery. Take what I want, don't give a shit if she likes it, and why in the world would I ever consider letting her have pleasure from the act-it's all about me getting mine, no some greedy property getting hers. Rapemeat gets nothing in return, only semen dripping out of her ravished holes.
So I go for the happy medium. She gets to keep her clit (for the time being at least), but I do serious long term orgasm control as well.
Like right now, she hasn't cum for three months. The first month I was just to busy to spend a ton of time together, and for whatever reason(A quaint euphemism meaning I didn't allow it), when we were, she didn't orgasm, which would have been fine except one day I mentioned it, and she responded, "It's no big deal," which I took as a challenge, and led to the defcon game.

Defcon's a simple game, three rules, no cumming, no going insane, no dying.
It's a progression, opening light and slow, then accelerating until it hits nuclear and her world ends.

-Weeks one and two were light touches, caresses, ear nips, rubbing through panties, shirt. The idea is get her so turned on she begs to cum, and then deny. Again and again and again and again. As in, over the course of a football game or so. As in 2-3 hours a night at least 3 days of the week.

-Weeks 2 and 3 the clothes came off, but no insertions. Tweaking nips, running fingers along her slit, stroke her clit. Things were getting bad for her by this point. She really wanted to cum.She was making noises I'd never heard before, animal sounds in the back of her being, teeny tiny fists balled in need and frustration.

-Weeks 4 and 5 were insertions, fingers, licking and sucking breasts, dildoes, toys, some light pain. By now she's begging and beginning to break. The denied orgasms leave her twisted, bent, buckled and bawling in frustration. She literally pounds the bed, floor, wherever with frustration. I'm talking eyes rolled back so far you can only see white, foaming at the mouth, unable to breathe need to cum. It's so much fun. And of course, on some days her cunt is rubbed raw, which makes it hurt too.

-Weeks 6 and 7 are fucking, anal, oral, vaginal,no cumming allowed. And I do tantra, so I can fuck for hours w/o cumming and can do so multiple times a night. Which just may kill her.
And maybe week 8 I'll let her cum, or maybe start the game again.

It's the best game ever. I love bringing her up and then refusing. I love the noise she makes when I tell her to open her legs again. I like she way she sobs when I slide my fingers in, as she knows I'm going to slowly take her up and then deny. I like the frustration. I like that at some level, some part of her is beginning to hate me for the cruelly involved. And I love, as in lovelovelove, the amount of control this game involves, that she exists for me to take, humiliate, use, abuse and destroy if I so desire, like the slutcunt she is.

And, in some base internal level, she loves the control and cruelty too. She loves the being taken, being absolutely owned at the root of her being, the things she wants most of all held out and then denied. She likes the power. She likes the strength of character to refuse her again and again. And she likes the imagination to come up with such a mean game.
Grins. well mayhaps like isn't the right word, but need is.
As in she needs the absolute control.

So no, I won't cut off her clit (Her hood though-diferent ballgame.). I am gonna pierce it and bell it. And later, post defcon, I plan on using vacuum suction to get it super swelled over a few weeks, maybe even use weights to extend it. Then I'm gonna nail that lil red nubbin to a two by four and do tortorous shit to it with a metal file, chili's and a hammer.

Good times.

If she's lucky I'll let her cum by Valentines Day.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 7:04:27 AM)

I am way impressed by women who have a sex drive like that...lots of us would have shut off and purely lost the ability!

Yes, my sub's getting off is very important to me, though the form of that is what pleases ME. He might not get to touch me, maybe he can watch me masturbate, then prove to me how long he can hold himself back. I am not the queen of chastity, but I want orgasms shared with me. (And whoops, if I am too busy to watch/listen, well...you see how that works). It's a world of entertainment!







Kana -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 7:16:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am way impressed by women who have a sex drive like that...lots of us would have shut off and purely lost the ability!



She tries, but I know all the right buttons to push.
Plus, at this point, the need has built up so that she's ready to melt at a touch...




LillyBoPeep -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 7:55:29 AM)

I'm not a D but I can share the previous Dude's thought process - he wanted to get into control, but he also figured he could use my enjoyment of sex to humiliate me, too. I'd only had sex a few times when I met him, didn't know a lot about myself or about sex and orgasms, so he wanted me to figure that out before we got into control. I'm really shy and don't really verbalize sexual junk very well, so he would make me. And when my brain was getting scrambled, he'd remind me of the horrible things i'd say when my filters shut off. :p I think it was a boost to his ego to push the shy girl into unabashed slutttiness. :p he wanted me to have pleasure but to also know that it was his to give.

And re: Hib's sex drive comment, in some relationships, it doesn't matter. Well, in my last relationship, that was something he owned and could do what he wanted with. Even if I was pissed off and mad at him and had nno drive, twas still his to take and fiddle with if he wanted. My sex drive was/is stupidly high, but he could always just say "not today" or ignore me. :p frustration! I wonder how control/denial would effect me, but I suppose that'll wait until I'm out of CasualCity.




littlewonder -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 8:06:54 AM)

I admit most of the time when he starts his eehhmm....game....ggrrr....most of the time I'm really not all that interested in sex...but he knows those spots...the clit, the gspot, nibbling my neck and ear....that drive me crazy.

Now if I'm not touched at all, ever and if he was to never touch those areas then yeah I can go years without sex and not care at all which was what I actually MEANT with the "no big deal" comment...sigh....one really has to make sure they're completely clear with what they say with him lol.

If you're not, well...you end up in my situation. hrmph




NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 8:22:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
My question is, how do you as a Dom/me feel about your sub getting pleasure?  For me, it is a huge ego kick to know that she got a screaming, drenching orgasm, and I was the one that made her do it. 

I love it. He should be happy and satisfied. Plus, I like to know I can rock his world. [:D] I don't want his willingness to serve be based on whether or not he cums but, if he's denied for lengthy periods of time, that could lead to being disheartened and depressed, which feels miserable. I don't want my sub to be unhappy. Chastity is a separate case, though. Some guys seem to get a thrill out of NOT being allowed to cum for awhile, for them denial fo a period of time DOES seem to make them happy.

NBMG




Whenready -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 8:37:46 AM)

My question is, how do you as a Dom/me feel about your sub getting pleasure? For me, it is a huge ego kick to know that she got a screaming, drenching orgasm, and I was the one that made her do it.

I would widen it out a bit. For me, it's a huge ego kick to know that however she acts or reacts, in the bedroom or out of it, she does it at my say so.




nyphylim -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 9:06:49 AM)

My view as a Dom is that there are many other zones than the clit. Let them have their toy, thats just something else to restrict.




RumpusParable -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 9:30:44 AM)

From chael, I wish him to enjoy sex, but not through any power aspect for me. Just a sweetness towards my husband.

With other males that serve me, I enjoy denying sex and sexual contact with me as a power kick.




MissToYouInRoma -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 9:38:35 AM)

Honestly, generally having a submissive orgasm when he's with me is generally of no interest to me whatsoever. I can be incredibly selfish that way. lol

On the other hand, I do enjoy having him "in need" for hours. [8D] The "if you have an erection for more than four hours" warnings always make me smile. In my experience, they are so wrong! And then there's the incredible stories they report once left to their own devices... [;)]




Epytropos -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 9:44:14 AM)

I wouldn't go as far as clit removal... seems a bit much, even for me. That being said, probably 6 sessions out of 10 a female partner only gets off by masturbating for me when I've had my fill, and probably an even higher proportion with the few male partners I've had. I just don't see that as all that enjoyable for me, and most of the subs I enjoy enough to play with multiple times are the ones who give no thought to their own pleasure unless I tell them to.

To each their own - I've known many who get off on 'making' a partner cum.




tazzygirl -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 9:52:04 AM)

I almost envy her. If I am denied too long, I wake up screaming from an orgasm. My body has a release valve in my dreams.




MissAsylum -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 10:49:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I almost envy her. If I am denied too long, I wake up screaming from an orgasm. My body has a release valve in my dreams.


You have no idea how glad i am to read this. I thought it was only me.




tazzygirl -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 11:01:16 AM)

Came from years of not being able to get off on my own.




Aileen1968 -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 11:37:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There's a thread about clit removal in the Sub forum.  Briefly, the idea is that the sub should not derive any pleasure from sex.

My question is, how do you as a Dom/me feel about your sub getting pleasure?  For me, it is a huge ego kick to know that she got a screaming, drenching orgasm, and I was the one that made her do it. 

How about you?



Funny stuff. I was talking bout this last night.
I'm split on this subject. My ego wants to give her the best orgasms in history-to fulfill my internal self image as a Casanova and Valentino. Plus, it's good for her-as a friend once said, looks, money, blah, a gal goes with the guy who gives her the most orgasms.

On the flip side, I like the idea of service as being rooted in altruism, that she give with no expectations of receiving anything in return. With no reciprocation, it puts her work on a service plane, which means she'll grow spiritually and mentally from the process.
Not to mention that there's a part of me that likes treating her like nothing more than an owned piece of fuck meat for me to do with as I desire, serious no holds barred hard core old school slavery. Take what I want, don't give a shit if she likes it, and why in the world would I ever consider letting her have pleasure from the act-it's all about me getting mine, no some greedy property getting hers. Rapemeat gets nothing in return, only semen dripping out of her ravished holes.
So I go for the happy medium. She gets to keep her clit (for the time being at least), but I do serious long term orgasm control as well.
Like right now, she hasn't cum for three months. The first month I was just to busy to spend a ton of time together, and for whatever reason(A quaint euphemism meaning I didn't allow it), when we were, she didn't orgasm, which would have been fine except one day I mentioned it, and she responded, "It's no big deal," which I took as a challenge, and led to the defcon game.

Defcon's a simple game, three rules, no cumming, no going insane, no dying.
It's a progression, opening light and slow, then accelerating until it hits nuclear and her world ends.

-Weeks one and two were light touches, caresses, ear nips, rubbing through panties, shirt. The idea is get her so turned on she begs to cum, and then deny. Again and again and again and again. As in, over the course of a football game or so. As in 2-3 hours a night at least 3 days of the week.

-Weeks 2 and 3 the clothes came off, but no insertions. Tweaking nips, running fingers along her slit, stroke her clit. Things were getting bad for her by this point. She really wanted to cum.She was making noises I'd never heard before, animal sounds in the back of her being, teeny tiny fists balled in need and frustration.

-Weeks 4 and 5 were insertions, fingers, licking and sucking breasts, dildoes, toys, some light pain. By now she's begging and beginning to break. The denied orgasms leave her twisted, bent, buckled and bawling in frustration. She literally pounds the bed, floor, wherever with frustration. I'm talking eyes rolled back so far you can only see white, foaming at the mouth, unable to breathe need to cum. It's so much fun. And of course, on some days her cunt is rubbed raw, which makes it hurt too.

-Weeks 6 and 7 are fucking, anal, oral, vaginal,no cumming allowed. And I do tantra, so I can fuck for hours w/o cumming and can do so multiple times a night. Which just may kill her.
And maybe week 8 I'll let her cum, or maybe start the game again.

It's the best game ever. I love bringing her up and then refusing. I love the noise she makes when I tell her to open her legs again. I like she way she sobs when I slide my fingers in, as she knows I'm going to slowly take her up and then deny. I like the frustration. I like that at some level, some part of her is beginning to hate me for the cruelly involved. And I love, as in lovelovelove, the amount of control this game involves, that she exists for me to take, humiliate, use, abuse and destroy if I so desire, like the slutcunt she is.

And, in some base internal level, she loves the control and cruelty too. She loves the being taken, being absolutely owned at the root of her being, the things she wants most of all held out and then denied. She likes the power. She likes the strength of character to refuse her again and again. And she likes the imagination to come up with such a mean game.
Grins. well mayhaps like isn't the right word, but need is.
As in she needs the absolute control.

So no, I won't cut off her clit (Her hood though-diferent ballgame.). I am gonna pierce it and bell it. And later, post defcon, I plan on using vacuum suction to get it super swelled over a few weeks, maybe even use weights to extend it. Then I'm gonna nail that lil red nubbin to a two by four and do tortorous shit to it with a metal file, chili's and a hammer.

Good times.

If she's lucky I'll let her cum by Valentines Day.


omg...that is just amazingly hot.




LillyBoPeep -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 11:43:07 AM)

*was ignoring it*

Thanks Aileen :p
[:-][:-][:-]

Swoony swoony swoon swoon




Aileen1968 -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 11:50:35 AM)

Yeah...I love the idea of an ongoing method of foreplay.
I fall into the group where if I'm not touched at all, desire just dwindles away.
But here...being touched and being kept on the edge is enticing even if the outcome of no orgasm is the same as if not being touched at all.
At least if he's touching you, you know he kinda likes you and that you turn him on.




sexyred1 -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 11:58:49 AM)

I am in my own group; the group of sub women who love men who get turned on by my having multiple orgasms.

Teasing is fun...but if denied too long I lose interest.

I met an older Dom at my first visit to a BDSM club many years ago when I was just a sweet young thing, who told me that all Dominants require their subs to never have orgasms.

I laughed in his face when he proceeded to ask me out.

He then stated the line that I have heard many times from disgruntled men...."You are not a real submissive".

Rolls eyes.




MissAsylum -> RE: A question for the Dom/mes (11/27/2011 12:31:26 PM)

I always wanted to know if there was a "twue submissive" guide that lists "not following orders of a supposed dominant during the first encounter" as a way to tell a real submissive from a fake one.

I suppose the same can go for dominants who are seen as fake because they dont come out with whips blazing immediately.

Where do these rules come from?




Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875