consideration collar.

consideration collar. (Full Version)

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aara -> consideration collar. (12/4/2011 10:17:46 PM)
I gave my sub a consideration collar not too long ago. I thought it was right, but maybe I rushed it. To me a consideration collar is like an engagement ring. what are you views on consideration collars?

LafayetteLady -> RE: consideration collar. (12/4/2011 10:35:31 PM)
Well, you updated your profile about finding him in October. If you consider it similar to an engagement ring, would you think it too soon to get engaged in less than two months?

MsLadySue -> RE: consideration collar. (12/4/2011 10:39:48 PM)
I have nothing against them ... for other people. I would take it to mean I'm not sure if I want you, but no one else can have you until I figure it out.

LafayetteLady -> RE: consideration collar. (12/4/2011 10:43:22 PM)
Yea, as a general rule, I think they are exactly like that. Kind of like saying, "you sort of belong to me, but I want to see if I can "better deal" you before I commit. But since the OP made the comment about it being like an "engagement" ring, I responded only to that.

MsLadySue -> RE: consideration collar. (12/4/2011 10:47:22 PM)
I don't look at collars in the same way others do ... like engagement or wedding rings. I've been married too many times to think that way. LOL

SoulAlloy -> RE: consideration collar. (12/4/2011 11:29:11 PM)
Can't say I've seen it like an engagement ring, but then I've not seen it like a 'you're mine but I'm going to keep looking' either. To me I view it like that transition from dating to being in a relationship, though it's not personally something I'd use.

MistrixMsE -> RE: consideration collar. (12/4/2011 11:32:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsLadySue I don't look at collars in the same way others do ... like engagement or wedding rings. I've been married too many times to think that way. LOL LOLOL amen sister...

aara -> RE: consideration collar. (12/4/2011 11:54:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Well, you updated your profile about finding him in October. If you consider it similar to an engagement ring, would you think it too soon to get engaged in less than two months? we have actually been together since Sept. and i understand better now thank you all. its just sometimes i wonder if i rushed into it.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 3:47:49 AM)
Why do you feel you rushed into it? Are you feeling pressured to give him a "real" collar? Or are you no longer feeling the same way towards him? The only time I've been collared, it was by a guy who wanted to be together, have kids, the whole nnine, so my opinion is probably biased. Lots of people view and use collars in different ways. My view of consideration collars is similar to what some others have expressed - "I'm noyt sure about you, but I want your devotion while I sort it out." But hey, plenty of people use "consideration" as one of several steps toward a healthy relationship. On person described it to me as more like "courting" than dating. Dating seems more casual, while courting is similar but less casual, and with a direct focus towards the future. I dunno, man. :p I guess... figure out why you're having second thoughts/feelinng like you rushed it, and see what can be done about it?

risktaker9 -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 4:18:08 AM)
I think consideration collars are kind of high schooly, like going steady. To me, they seem like a declaration of saying I like you, lets see how things turn out. I think they're kind of silly. Knowing that you view consideration collars as an engagement type situation OP, I'd say you moved forward with it pretty quickly. If it were me, I'd never accept an engagement ring from anyone after knowing them for 3 months much less give one out.

DarkSteven -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 5:18:38 AM)
I like the idea, if the relationship after the collar of consideration will be the same as it would be after a full collar, just not as definite. Like you said, analogous to the engagement prior to marriage.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 5:39:02 AM)
I think consideration collars are silly and high-schoolish. As MsLadySue said: "I would take it to mean I'm not sure if I want you, but no one else can have you until I figure it out."

peppermint -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 6:51:37 AM)
I don't believe in types of collars. You either collar someone or you don't. To me a collar means a major commttment to making a relationship work.

Madame4a -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 6:58:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peppermint I don't believe in types of collars. You either collar someone or you don't. To me a collar means a major commttment to making a relationship work. This is how I approach it. I am very careful about offering a collar and I would not do it if I were "considering" someone. If that were the case, I'd date them -- and consider them.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 12:53:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aara I gave my sub a consideration collar not too long ago. I agree with those who said that consideration collars seem "high schoolish". As others have stated, it seems like a selfish attempt to keep the sub from meeting anyone else while you decide if you want him/her or not. In your opinion, how is a "consideration collar" different than a real collar? Do you still expect the sub to obey you? Or can the sub say "no" to any command that he/she chooses, since they're only "under consideration"? Is the sub allowed to serve other Dommes, or do you expect their service to be exclusively to you? Since they're only "under consideration" it seems like it would be wrong for you to expect exclusivity on their part. IMO, if you expect them to obey you like they're yours, and you want them to be exclusive to you like they're yours, then why not just make them yours?

Rochsub2009 -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 12:57:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Madame4a quote: ORIGINAL: peppermint I don't believe in types of collars. You either collar someone or you don't. To me a collar means a major commttment to making a relationship work. This is how I approach it. I am very careful about offering a collar and I would not do it if I were "considering" someone. If that were the case, I'd date them -- and consider them. Darn! I wish I had read these two responses before I wrote my own. It would have saved me quite a bit of typing, since I agree completely with the above.

LafayetteLady -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 1:22:48 PM)
Since prior to a commitment, all things are "equal" in a sense, perhaps subs should start bestowing doms with "consideration leashes." You know something that says, "I'm thinking of following you, but I'm not sure yet, so here is a "leash" made out of tissue paper. If you pull too hard, I'm done considering and you are out of here."

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 1:59:54 PM)
quote: what are you views on consideration collars? They're stupid.

peppermint -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 5:36:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather quote: what are you views on consideration collars? They're stupid. Maybe not exactly stupid. How about using the word silly to describe them?

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: consideration collar. (12/5/2011 6:57:38 PM)
quote: How about using the word silly to describe them? I suppose I could, but since I think they are stupid, I will use the word stupid.

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