RE: Training a Dom? (Full Version)

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CoreFocus -> RE: Training a Dom? (12/28/2011 5:26:13 AM)

quote:

My question: Is it possible for an experienced sub to train a Dom/Domme?


In a certain way we build experience from our subs/slaves. I wouldn't call that training....but..it might be close ;)

edit:
guidance might fit better,



atursvcMaam -> RE: Training a Dom? (1/1/2012 10:28:48 PM)

Of course you can train a dom(me), but you aren't supposed to tell them about it. It is always better to let them think it was their idea, and show great admiration for their brilliance when they pick up your idea and go with it.



Batman54954 -> RE: Training a Dom? (1/4/2012 5:58:33 AM)

I think most dominants are too self-absorbed to learn much of anythins, from most anyone.



RaspberryLemon -> RE: Training a Dom? (1/4/2012 9:50:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Batman54954

I think most dominants are too self-absorbed to learn much of anythins, from most anyone.

I disagree. I think a good dominant is hardly self-absorbed at all. He should be incredibly aware of his environment, the people in it, and how his behavior impacts those things--and then be able to take responsibility for the things he wishes to control.



LillyoftheVally -> RE: Training a Dom? (1/5/2012 4:35:42 AM)

As always this is completely personal. I do not like to think of BDSM as a job, though some people do. I think as someone has said it completely depends what you are after as a result of this.

As to whether there is a requirment for the submissve to be experienced or not also depends on what you are after. We say on sites like this over and over there is no right way to do this, its about finding what works for you and where you want to go. Learning together can work, finding out where you want to be.

Really the labels dominant and submissive are about a state of mind, not about physical actions. If you want to be making the calls then you are dominant that is it, anything that comes from that is up to you, the submissive is the person who yeilds to what you want them to do.

If you are not talking about relationships but instead about activities, also as has been said, anyone can do that. There will be workshops all over the place which can teach you to tie a rope or crack a whip, those aren't inherently dominant those are the tools or methods a dominant may use to exert their dominance or indeed (hopefully) the things they want to do because they get a kick out of it.

Good luck to you.



slaverachel2Him -> RE: Training a Dom? (1/8/2012 11:21:13 PM)

Yes they/we can and do. i was at a scrotal inflation session once because the Domme's had ordered the equipment and it wasn't the same as before. Because i know how to handle IV equipment i was asked to help advise. The subs getting "done" also gave them feedback as one Domme was learning how to do this on Her sub while being taught this technique and one of them happened to say to me "We teach them a lot sometimes, then they can learn and do it." i agreed. (this particular sub had 100 needles in his scrotum at one time once as a teaching model at the Citadel. 100!!)

It is called Teaching from the Bottom and i know MANY subs and slaves who have had to do this, including me. If it is YOUR Dom/Master it is VERY stressful. IT also means you have to be VERY alert to avoid Topping from the Bottom. So you have to teach the techniques, encourage the Domination then shut up and let them "go at you". Once they have a repretiore of things they can do to you that they enjoy- and a comfort level in making the decisions etc they can take it from there and then YOU have to detach from any control you may be hanging on to. i find it helps to use protocol at all times within the community to maintain my place in the hierarchy so i can easily avoid the topping trap and accidentally sabotage all the good work. i have to remember it is none of my business what He does with His property- THAT keeps it toned down too.

i know one slave who was actually at first a non-consensual slave at age 11, collared by a neighbor who held her captive for real, who also was originally oriented to enslavement and of course the guy is in prison. but she had to teach from the bottom for her new REAL Master. i know MANY who have taught from the bottm ad in a sense we ALL do as the Master has to learn about us and how do they learn? From us. Who gives them feedback when they learn something new on us? We do. Who then has to NOT become attached to the meaning of the feedback? Us.



Lucylastic -> RE: Training a Dom? (1/9/2012 12:22:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Batman54954

I think most dominants are too self-absorbed to learn much of anythins, from most anyone.

I think that is one of the most ridiculous generalisations Ive heard in ... oh hell actually only a few hours, but I do hang out on P&R

Id like to add a qualifier to your comment
Stupid dumb egocentric jerkoffs are too self absorbed to learn much of anything.
A good dominant learns from everything he/she does.



MikeSojourner -> RE: Training a Dom? (1/9/2012 11:10:56 AM)

My second submissive was far more experienced than I was -- and that worked out to be a perfect situation. 

She was completely submissive to me, but at the same time I could bounce ideas off her or try things that were new to me but not to her.  That let me feel more comfortable trying new things  and grow at a faster rate than if both myself and my partner were inexperienced.



ScatteredRose -> RE: Training a Dom? (1/9/2012 11:19:14 AM)

Build a Dom workshop is not something meant for everyone. Be careful at what you do.
I had a boy I dated who was very vanilla, but wanted to try kink because I was into it. Long story short, it ended badly, and he turned very violent. Tread carefully. And as others have said, guiding is better than "training".
Also, something I'll suggest is, to have him talk to other Dominants. Help him find a mentor, someone who he can get their side of things and understand.





CelticPrince -> RE: Training a Dom? (1/9/2012 11:32:49 AM)

quote:

I've had this question posted on my journal and have presented it individually to a number of subs on this site, but I finally decided that it was worth posting it here to get opinions from a larger cross-section of the people on this site.

My question: Is it possible for an experienced sub to train a Dom/Domme?

There are a number of threads on the message boards regarding a Dom/Domme training a sub, and it would naturally seem to flow there, given the sub/Dom(me) dynamics. There are also threads regarding learning as an apprentice of sorts from an experienced Dom/Domme. But I found no discussion even entertaining the possibility of a sub as a teacher.

Any thoughts?

And yes, I am VERY new to BDSM and exceptionally inexperienced (though that was probably obvious from my question).

Thanks in advance to all who might choose to chime in.

Rob.


Rob,

I supposed it happens, but for myself it is hard to get my mind around it.

CP



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