RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!!

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 11:14:07 AM

GreedyTop

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But Ash.. what about those of us that do NOT have a live/real man on hand? Are we not allowed to have a plastic brad? Just think.. women deprived of sexual release combined with menses/menopause..

you think that plastic Brad is bad?? think of how the world would be WITHOUT!!

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Post #: 81

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 11:45:02 AM

ashjor911

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you had me there,
good point

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 11:46:09 AM

CoreFocus

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quote:

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!!

only in bed? That is not a place I have sex often :( damn

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Post #: 83

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 11:47:12 AM

GreedyTop

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"bed" is a euphamism..

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Post #: 84

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 11:47:58 AM

CoreFocus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

"bed" is a euphamism..

In Europe we just call it sleeping thingy lol

but ty for explaining ;)

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Post #: 85

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 11:53:23 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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*giggle* you Europeans aint got a thing on the Japanese for the sleeping thingies!!

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polysnortatious
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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 86

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 11:54:22 AM

CoreFocus

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well..we do lay on Japanese....if they ask really nicely :P

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 11:56:17 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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have you seen those pod hotel thingies?? EXCELLENT for the housekeeper folks... lemme tell ya~!

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Post #: 88

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 7:36:07 PM

Casteele

Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
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FR to OP:

But, but.. My ex was fond of saying the opposite (she's actually said these things, although the wording I am using isn't exact):

1. They don't talk back, especially when all you want to is just enjoy the physical sensations not hear them complain about work,
2. The battery operated massaging kind (vibrators) can be used to massage other parts of your body (just wash it in between, unless you're in to that..),
3. They are not high maintenance, except maybe the battery operated ones, just wash and put it away,
4. They do fit in a suitcase, purse, or whatnot,
5. Some of them make fantastic conversation pieces, and for some, make excellent coffee table decorations (can you believe my ex is 'nilla when she said that!?),
6. They don't make a mess around the toilet bowl rim that you have to clean up, and they don't leave the seat up for you to discover said mess at 2am when you're not awake enough to look first,
7. They're fun to look at, and imagine how it can be used,
8. You can share them with your friends without getting jealous (I just looked at her dumbfounded when she said that and never could come up with a good counter-reply),
9. You can aim them directly at your "G-spot" and/or guide them to where you want without as much hassle,
10. They can be as little or as big as you want, and you can even own different sizes for different needs,
11. They make excellent clubs for when your boyfriend says something stupid; Just pull it out and smack him with it. Even better if he gets weirded out by being smacked with something you used while "ragging" and horny just an hour ago.

There's lot more she's said as we've had fun bantering back and forth with this kind of topic, but I can't remember them all right now.

(in reply to ashjor911)

Post #: 89

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 8:54:31 PM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
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quote:

Frosted Flake

Okay Ladies, Let me just ask you this!

When is the last time your plastic pal read the paper though breakfast?

No, wait... When is the last time old reliable sandpapered you with 5 O'clock shadow?

No, wait... When is the last time your toy soldier left his clothes on the floor?

No, Wait... When is the last time 'Buzz' flicked through all 200 channels, twice?

Uhmmm... Y'know, I'll get back to you on this...

Okay Ladies, when is the last time you woke with your plastic pals' arm around you?

And when was the last time Old Reliable woke you with his arm around you, doing stuff?

And when was the last time you walked into your room and your toy soldier sat up in bed and said OMG!?

And when was the last time 'Buzz' kissed your earlobe, then your neck, and then your shoulder?

And when was the last time a battery powered lover said you were the best thing that had ever happened to him?

(in reply to Casteele)

Post #: 90

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 8:57:57 PM

Ninebelowzero

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& when was the last time your plastic friend faarted & then stuffed your head under the duvet?

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 9:11:57 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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Why men are better in bed than a dildo? From my experience, based off true stories:

(1)your dog can't chew them up and break them. I really miss that vibrating bullet.
(2)They don't accidently go off, buzzing around the wooden floor at very inopportune times. Say when your Pastor is visiting.
(3) Your children can't take them out into the center of the cul-desac and use them as swords, while your neighbors watch and snicker.
(4) They can go through the airport without the custom officers laying them out on the table for all to see.

WinD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 12/17/2011 9:12:31 PM >

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Post #: 92

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 9:25:41 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Okay. Niney and I are married in a parallel universe. It was the dutchoven that clinched it.

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Post #: 93

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 9:38:17 PM

Ninebelowzero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Okay. Niney and I are married in a parallel universe. It was the dutchoven that clinched it.

Not the reverse dutch steamboat?

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Post #: 94

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 10:14:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

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~hides~

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 10:21:52 PM

Ninebelowzero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

~hides~

Typical domme, as soon as the going gets tough.

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 10:38:10 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

Why men are better in bed than a dildo

1. Unlike dildos, they say a word from time to time.
2. They have an internal thermostat that always keeps them at a pleasant temperature.
3. They massage your feet.
4. Their batteries get replaced themselves, a lot faster, especially if the model is around 20 years old.
5. They don’t fit in a suitcase, but they can carry one.
6. You don’t have to report them at customs.
7. The nice ones bring you ice cream in bed, afterwards…
8. They come in a lot of sizes, shapes and tastes.
9. They’re a lot better at having a conversation.
10. They make cute sounds.
11. They wash themselves afterwards.
12. They warm up the whole bed if you put them there 10 minutes before going to bed.
13. They scratch your back.
14. After a “session” with a man, your whole body is tired, not just a hand.
15. They can clean windows in the corners at which you can’t usually get.
16. They eat the leftovers in the kitchen.
17. They have a completely different perspective.
18. It’s fun to look at them.
19. Usually, a man is a better dancer than a dildo.
20. They have a lot of parts with which you can play.
stolen from some tumblr

I don't need all that shit to explain why men are better:

1) Men are obtrusive.

2) Men are certain they're correct.

3) Men have driven an incredible amount of time.

4) We have mountains named after us.

5) We have bitchen cars.

6) We need you.

Done.

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Post #: 97

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 10:38:22 PM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Just popped out for a Hobgoblin, lovey!

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 10:41:01 PM

Ninebelowzero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Just popped out for a Hobgoblin, lovey!

Just don't eat sweetcorn. Otherwise you will buckshot the cats.

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Post #: 99

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/17/2011 11:13:53 PM

seababy

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Joined: 6/20/2008
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I love your list

By the way can any on tell me what a "hobgoblin" is I googled but only came up with its original meaning.
Some kind of American food? A really naughty sex act?
"Just popped out for a Hobgoblin, lovey! "
I have no clue.

< Message edited by seababy -- 12/17/2011 11:40:39 PM >

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 100

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