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RE: Just a sub? - 5/31/2006 8:26:59 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I wouldn't identify myself *a submissive* OR *slave*, if I wasn't in the relationship I'm in. I don't *need* to be submissive nor do I particularly want to be. I submit because I made a choice; I often don't like it and even more often get quite frustrated about it. That doesn't negate the fact that it's better for me. I don't always do things because I want to please, I do them because I have the choice of doing them or being punished......and it makes sense to avoid that.

I understand where you are coming from. For myself, the only "choice" that I have made in this is to BE who I AM and not conciously try to buck my natural self or conduct myself in direct contradiction to what would be the course of action that comes naturally to me without thought. I didn't make a choice to be submissive....I AM submissive. You're right, there have been times in my life that I haven't necessarily liked that aspect or been completely comfortable with it...but I accept that it is "me", through every moment of every day......that part of me simply "is".

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RE: Just a sub? - 5/31/2006 9:06:52 AM

truesub4u

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fuck it.... changed my mind.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 5/31/2006 9:07:34 AM >

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Post #: 82

RE: Just a sub? - 5/31/2006 9:08:17 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I wouldn't identify myself *a submissive* OR *slave*, if I wasn't in the relationship I'm in. I don't *need* to be submissive nor do I particularly want to be. I submit because I made a choice; I often don't like it and even more often get quite frustrated about it. That doesn't negate the fact that it's better for me. I don't always do things because I want to please, I do them because I have the choice of doing them or being punished......and it makes sense to avoid that.

I understand where you are coming from. For myself, the only "choice" that I have made in this is to BE who I AM and not conciously try to buck my natural self or conduct myself in direct contradiction to what would be the course of action that comes naturally to me without thought. I didn't make a choice to be submissive....I AM submissive. You're right, there have been times in my life that I haven't necessarily liked that aspect or been completely comfortable with it...but I accept that it is "me", through every moment of every day......that part of me simply "is".

Yes, I also understand your view and explanation of it.

As an individual, my choice is what is good for me, not necessarily what I'd like......I'm pretty pragmatic about it. I recognise that things are better this way, no matter HOW uncomfortable I find them, with the nature that I have.

Of course it would be easier if I had a submissive nature.....but it doesn't matter overall. Having to submit is part of the way I chose to live , not a personal leaning.

Looking at the bigger picture.......how much more I achieve, how much satisfaction I have, how many less distractions and fuck-ups there are, how much I learn about myself, how I act and react in the world...... it really is the most sensible choice...for me.

Having said that ....I chose it because of the person , NOT the way of life. Remove that person and I am a mother, a grandmother, a daughter, a sister.....but I am not a slave, a submissive or even *someone in the lifestyle*.

Regards, agirl

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Post #: 83

RE: Just a sub? - 5/31/2006 10:41:40 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
fuck it.... changed my mind.

I wish I hadn't missed it....you are one of those that usually has me contemplating from a different angle.

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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Post #: 84

RE: Just a sub? - 5/31/2006 11:07:42 AM

NCSilverWolves

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Sorry Erin .... just got a little off beat there...and decided it would of been a sub versus slave response. And that's not what you were looking for. I have to say though... as long as you love who you are.....as I do myself.... then the rest is not important. I have to many things to do to worry about what other people think of me. Granted I changed screen name today only because i'm sick of snide remarks even in my e-mails about being true. Jesus, it was just a damn screen name. I think you and I are alike on not really being worried about others...as long as ourselves...and the one or ones are happy... then that's all that matters... isn't it?

Huggsss...Erin.... thanks for the great thoughts on the thread.

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Post #: 85

RE: Just a sub? - 5/31/2006 11:11:27 AM

MissyRane

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I'm just a sub kneeling in front of a Dom(me) asking him/her to love/use/whateva.. me

just couldn't resist it just so reminds me of Notting Hill

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Post #: 86

RE: Just a sub? - 5/31/2006 3:20:39 PM

genvieve

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-pokes CD just coz-

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Post #: 87

RE: Just a sub? - 5/31/2006 3:31:34 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
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quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve
"Just a sub" is offensive to me. i think one would be hard pressed to find a submissive who wasn't offended by the term.

Hello A/all,

I think any sentence which starts with "Blah is just a..." is offensive.

But Im one of those weird people that honestly thinks that people contain multitudes and layers (like a parfait) and discovering the idiosyncrasies of that person are what drives me.

"Was it Keirkegaard, or Dick Van Patten, who said "If you label me, you nullify me"?" Mike Myers, Waynes World.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

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Post #: 88

RE: Just a sub? - 6/1/2006 4:28:53 PM

genvieve

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Beautifully put. i quite agree.

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Post #: 89

RE: Just a sub? - 6/3/2006 3:35:44 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zumala
Sub or slave, they're both submissive in nature.

Not necessarily, either one of them.

A person who is submissive/slave within a d/s relationship is not necessarily "submissive in nature". They could be very "dominant in nature", yet be submissive/enslaved to the person in the relationship with them.

Just another point to consider.

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Post #: 90

RE: Just a sub? - 6/3/2006 3:41:14 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
I will use myself as an example. I identify as a submissive. I do so because FOR ME the bottom line criteria that MUST be met in order to identify as slave is ownership. One can not be a slave unless they are owned. There are certainly many other criteria, but that is the most basic. Currently I am alone, therefore I CANNOT identify as being a slave. Ownership
quote:

This pretty much aligns with my definition, except...

quote:

....and when I say that I mean ownership that is all encompassing, live in, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.....not on the internet.....not part time on the weekends or once a month.....not an in training with a Master you don't live with situation.

I don't believe that "live in" is necessary to "ownership".

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Post #: 91

RE: Just a sub? - 6/3/2006 9:55:19 PM

Tamerofwild1s

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uhhh . I could be wrong but last I checked this is an alternative lifestyle . which by definition means there is ALWAYS an alternate way things are done or translated . it all depends on what works for me .. or you or whomever ... translations of roles within the lifestyle are that also .. this could easily get turned around and say whos better a Dom or a Master ... or a Lord .. or a Daddy or whatever . to say a sub is better then a slave, I don't think so .... to say there is a different mindset between a sub and a slave, that I can absolutely see. What may be perfect for me may not be for another and my definition works for me and may not work for someone else. So if I happen to say she is just a sub ... that means that according to my definition of sub thats what the girl is . andshe might be a DAM good sub<wink> .... but this is just my honest opinion of the situation

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Post #: 92