Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to using a website like this...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to using a website like this... Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to usi... - 12/26/2011 5:30:33 PM   
greenshoes1234


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/26/2011
Status: offline 		Hello,

I am a pretty good looking guy, women hit on me and I have always been good with them (in the sense of being your typical guy who is able to talk to women at clubs/bars/libraries, etc). I am fit.

Over a year ago, I have been getting curious into this whole thing, to be honest mostly with porn ofc...and its gotten deeper and deeper (the porn) into the whole fetish.

I am pretty sure I Would enjoy being submissive to a woman.

However there is a slight issue of privacy, so if I could in fact do it over webcam...I wouldn't want to show my face (I have been on the internet long enough to know that that is not a good idea), and this usually leads to a few sessions bfefore the girl gets bored because of the lack of intimacy...which is understandable since she pretty much doesnt see my face...

So my other solution to the problem was in person, girls I meet on a daily basis...however there is the slight problem that for the next 4-5 years I will be moving around every 3-5 months to different cities and whatnot due to mostly work.

I have noticed girls who enjoy dominating men require a certain level of trust/intimacy (at least the ones that I want dominating me) that I cannot develop with a busy schedule and 1-2 months.

I personally enjoy the sweet ladies who are not very dominant outside of the bedroom but inside are completely dominant in every aspect possible...at least from the 2 women that I have sort of experience some sort of dominance from...nothing extreme at all...I want more tho.

So my question is....what do I do? that moving around wont change, and neither will the fact that I am really really busy most of the time but neither wont the fact that I want a lady to take charge of me in the bedroom, I of course would want her to be good looking.
If it were an online thing...face would be a no-no while I Am doing stuff for her at least...however I find it hard to post a pic of myself in a site like this (because as sad as it is...not everyone considers this "normal" sexual behavior...and due to the fact that I constantly interact with new people...I dont really want people looking funny at me)

GIve me some advice into what I can do? I am really lost and really want this.

I know most people will say things like "ignore what people think" or "dont worry about it" yea I can't do that...that's out of the question...I very much enjoy the work that I do and will not give it up for sex. However I do appreciate any advice you have and I do believe that those people are correct but we don't live in an ideal world.

< Message edited by greenshoes1234 -- 12/26/2011 5:36:05 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/26/2011 5:38:04 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: greenshoes1234

[snip]

So my question is....what do I do? that moving around wont change, and neither will the fact that I am really really busy most of the time but neither wont the fact that I want a lady to take charge of me in the bedroom, I of course would want her to be good looking.



Hire a pro or an escort (depending on what you are looking for). It sounds like you have a lot of demands and most lifestylers want at least a friendship with those they play with (and like you said, that takes time that you don't have).

On this site, the men outnumber the women by about 10 to 1 on both sides of the kneel with lifestyle dommes being in high demand. You don't have that much to offer a lifestyler unless you get into the community and get to know people who might be willing to play casually. Also you never know who in your community might know someone in your next community that can vouch for you.

(in reply to greenshoes1234)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/26/2011 5:45:00 PM   
greenshoes1234


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/26/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir


quote:

ORIGINAL: greenshoes1234

[snip]

So my question is....what do I do? that moving around wont change, and neither will the fact that I am really really busy most of the time but neither wont the fact that I want a lady to take charge of me in the bedroom, I of course would want her to be good looking.



Hire a pro or an escort (depending on what you are looking for). It sounds like you have a lot of demands and most lifestylers want at least a friendship with those they play with (and like you said, that takes time that you don't have).

On this site, the men outnumber the women by about 10 to 1 on both sides of the kneel with lifestyle dommes being in high demand. You don't have that much to offer a lifestyler unless you get into the community and get to know people who might be willing to play casually. Also you never know who in your community might know someone in your next community that can vouch for you.


Not exactly the route where I would want to head.
But just out of pure curiosity, isn't this prostitution therefore illegal? last thing I want is to get arrested...I live in Canada.
I also don't see myself spending x-amount of $s on sex every couple of days...most likely hundreds and I would rather she be a friend or more to me.
I am not really looking for the act by itself to be honest.

I am sure someone else has faced a dilemma like this before...I dont know..I was hoping for at least someone to point to the right direction.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/26/2011 5:58:02 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		The thing is, most lifestylers who don't accept tribute do it based at the very least on friendship. You aren't going to develop friendships if you are afraid to show your face on a webcam (at the very least). Your desire for privacy is going to hinder your chances of finding what you claim you want, which is why I suggested finding a pro. Being a pro-domme may not be prostitution or illegal depending on what exactly you are looking for.

Prostitution, on its own, isn't necessarily illegal depending on how and where it is procured. While I know wikipedia isn't a great source, this one at least cites criminal codes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Canada

IF you are looking at webcam domination, then there is nothing illegal about going to a pro. It is in person where it gets tricky. As to the money, that is a different situation. Only you can determine how much you are willing to spend. Porn and jacking off is free.

(in reply to greenshoes1234)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/26/2011 6:11:20 PM   
greenshoes1234


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/26/2011
Status: offline 		Any advice on handling friendships/relationships

For example: a month ago, I met this amazing intelligent girl (she was 20) anyways, sadly I had to move 3 weeks after meeting her and won't be back in that city until January 2013, at least permanently (for a few months lol)...I am sure Ill stop by from time to time.

I am not only attracted to her due to how she enjoys being dominant but also because of her looks, personality buy mainly how smart she is.

I cannot get into a relationship with a girl I have met for 3 weeks and wont see again for a year...I would not want that and she wouldn't either...

How do normal people do this...I dont want to pay for it, it take the fun out of it...I want something more than just some one that helps me cum.


(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/26/2011 6:23:33 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		Master and I currently live about 4 hours apart. It isn't easy, but for him it is worth it.

If you want to keep the friendship alive, that is going to take some work in regards to communication (you might even enjoy being cucked by her).

Get over to FL and check out the munches and TNG groups in your area. Meet people in real life. Develop your friendships in person and then continue the friendships when you move place to place through email and chatting. The people you meet in this city just might be able to help you meet new people in your next city. Network and communicate. Developing these skills can actually help you in your career as well. If it is pain play you are looking for (not necessarily submission but being a bottom) then public play in clubs may be where you get the need filled.

You are going to have to be creative.

(in reply to greenshoes1234)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/26/2011 6:27:21 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Then you wait. You develop a "relationship" with her. Lots of telephone and internet talk. Mostly vanilla with a bit of spice.
And you both date in the meantime. If it's meant to work out for you in a year, then it will, if not, you'll probably figure that out sooner than later.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to greenshoes1234)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/26/2011 6:36:18 PM   
greenshoes1234


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/26/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Then you wait. You develop a "relationship" with her. Lots of telephone and internet talk. Mostly vanilla with a bit of spice.
And you both date in the meantime. If it's meant to work out for you in a year, then it will, if not, you'll probably figure that out sooner than later.


It would be unfair to both of us.
I can't and don't want a woman to be waiting a year for her to be able to see me on a regular basis knowing that Ill move in a few months and then it'll be about another year...specially one that I recently met.
To be honest, I would not expect fidelity from her or she from me...so it wouldnt work out.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/26/2011 6:41:06 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Who said anything about monogomy or fidelity. A relationship is a friendship and it can grow (eventually) from there.
If you only want to play, go to a pro.
And not for sex. Pro-doms are for your power exchange fantasies. Prostitutes are for your sex fantasies.
If you don't know the difference, don't see either.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to greenshoes1234)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/26/2011 7:33:39 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Who said anything about monogomy or fidelity. A relationship is a friendship and it can grow (eventually) from there.
If you only want to play, go to a pro.
And not for sex. Pro-doms are for your power exchange fantasies. Prostitutes are for your sex fantasies.
If you don't know the difference, don't see either.


Exactly...think Friends with Benefits (if that works for the both of you). The key to making something like that work is communication. You always want to make sure you are on the same page.

Now for me, this would never work. I'm monogamous and don't have casual sex/casual play (I'm not wired that way), but there are women out there that this works well for.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/27/2011 1:02:02 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: greenshoes1234


GIve me some advice into what I can do? I am really lost and really want this.




You will pay with time or you will pay with money. Sometimes you will pay with both. Pick your preferred currency and get comfortable with it. That's reality, kiddo. Ass, gas, or grass...nobody rides free.

(in reply to greenshoes1234)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/27/2011 2:54:18 AM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt


quote:

ORIGINAL: greenshoes1234


GIve me some advice into what I can do? I am really lost and really want this.




You will pay with time or you will pay with money. Sometimes you will pay with both. Pick your preferred currency and get comfortable with it. That's reality, kiddo. Ass, gas, or grass...nobody rides free.

& that is true in nilla as it is here. Chicks love guys who own power tools & know how to use them. Many times when single & slutty I've heard a damsels tale of woe & offered a power screwdriver & got Sunday lunch & a horizontal bop & the best is I use their electricity!!!

Best advice for a nebie who doesn't want to pay a Mistress really is to get used to having a paintbrush in his hand. Besides he .might like being nude but for a pair of boots & a leather tool belt



_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/27/2011 10:16:33 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		<------- has put out for repair work.

quote:

Chicks love guys who own power tools & know how to use them. Many times when single & slutty I've heard a damsels tale of woe & offered a
power screwdriver & got Sunday lunch & a horizontal bop & the best is I use their electricity!!!

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/27/2011 10:24:53 AM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		Being an engineer does have it's bennies

_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to... - 12/27/2011 10:29:53 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		OP I wish you luck in your hunt and journey, I dont use age as a qualifier normally but you are "young" and if you are going to be "that busy" for the next year or so, I think your only chance is online or to pay for a pro session when you get the urge, mind you , you would be better to find one that you think you can have "fun" with, not just a strict session but an actually ENJOYABLE time.
While I have no doubt that you could find a woman who would accept your friends with benefits ideals, a pro would be better emotionally maybe?
I know more than a few pros who will not have a second session with someone they cant "have fun with"
The money isnt the only reason.



_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 15
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> 21 year old guy looking for advice when it comes to using a website like this... Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.087