Jaquin
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Joined: 12/12/2011
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This is chapter one if a full length novel I was working on a while (this chapter is 10 pages long, I've only gotten 38 pages into the story). Sadly I lost drive to work on it so figured maybe if I post it here and get some feedback it might get me excited again to work on it.
Sorry in advance for any formatting errors/discrepancies - copy/paste doesn't do all layout stuff sadly.
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Bars and Barns ( 1 )
It started, as many romances do, with the fixation of a dress. It hung there on a plain metal rod in one of the many department stores that conglomerated together to create a mall. I could tell it was expensive without seeing the price tag, the fact that it was up and out of the reach of random pawing hands eluded to as much. Sure it was an organization method, up rather then out; a method many cities used to store their people, tried and true. But who gets the penthouse suites? The ones with expensive tastes.
It could be said that such thoughts were looking into things to much, over analyzing is what my teachers back in school had called it when I spent less time doing the work and more time wondering why I had to do it. I could easily get the attendant and ask for the dress down, it wasn't hard work, but I liked to know why I had to. Such a trait led to difficulties in school and at home. I required more coaxing to get my work done and I questioned things that others simply stated were my responsibilities.
I was labelled a problem child, not like the type that goes out and drinks or smokes weed in the back of the school yard – but I certainly didn't get straight A's either despite my obvious penchant for grasping the assignment. My parents didn't think I was mentally handicapped, they knew I was smart, but at the same time they wished I didn't have to question everything. To oft I used the question to avoid the work: like now, standing in the store aimlessly thinking rather then asking for the dress.
When the clerk was free from customers I walked over to her and made mention of wanting to try on the dress. She responded by looking at me like she probably looked at most of her customers, with open disinterest. She was obviously more interested in reading the open magazine laying on the counter then serving customers – she was just one of many part time employed people working because they wanted or needed the extra cash for their own clothing and trinkets.
Silently we walked over to the dress and the clerk, using a long pole, took a dress off the rod and handed it to me and silently went back to her magazine leaving me to find, not that it was hard, the changing room on my own. It was a wonder she still had a job with the amazing customer service she provided. Management clearly didn't know or care, happy that things got sold and nothing to major got stolen.
The dressing rooms – more comparable in size to a bathroom stall then any kind of room – were in the back and the standard bland white with an uncomfortable bench and a body length mirror on one wall. At some point in design of stores I guess it got standardized, this unwelcoming place, designed so that people would want to get out and not dawdle to long, perhaps with the intent of rushing them into a purchase that a more comfortable purview would sound against.
Closing the door and engaging the cheap lock that fit badly in the plate I hung the dress up on the hook and began undressing. My blue jeans and light green blouse made way to reveal bare skin and standard fare underwear, I was out shopping not on a date. Out of nervous habit at undressing in public I looked about and above for the chance that someone was inconsiderate of the law and attempting to film me. As per usual there was nothing to be seen but it made me feel more comfortable as I saw myself in the mirror hardly dressed and smiled.
Slipping the dress off the hanger I quickly chose between stepping in and pulling up or putting over and going down, the style; with fitted waist, would have a hard time getting over my breasts so
- 1 - I bunched the dress up and stepped into it trying not to drag it all over the floor which was no doubt dirty. Once fitted, and with straps over my shoulders, the fit was a bit snug with the waist constricting some but nothing unacceptable. It reached down half way to my knees and had enough fabric to move about when I twisted back and forth for the mirror but had enough structure with the weight to not ride up and reveal pastel blue panties. It lacked cleavage but that wasn't my intent with a dress, it was a casual almost summer dress rather then a late night party at a bar to try and hook up with guys dress.
Adorned in a light spattering of red and pink flowers, faded into the white base fabric complimenting my dusty red hair that I traditionally wore lose at just past shoulder length or in a ponytail to keep it from falling into my eyes when I was working on something like my artwork. Overall it looked to be a good fit and look on me, it didn't – that I could tell – accentuate any bulges and despite it's snug fit I wasn't wasted for air as if by a corset.
My mind wandered back to the last time I'd worn a corset, it was with an old boyfriend who liked how it looked under a gauzier blouse. He'd laced it up and made me wear it for most of the day, it made breathing harder and pinched at times. I really didn't mind it that much, after an hour or so of wearing it I'd adapted to the changes it forced – after all I could have unlaced it myself, a task that was much easier then lacing as it required much less leverage and range of motion. When we broke up I'd given the corset to a friend since it was more my boyfriends idea for me to have and wear one rather then my own interest in them.
I much preferred the dress I was trying on and, reaffirming that I could actually afford it, I changed back into my clothes and exited the change room to the ever disinterested clerk. She rang up my purchase without a word and I smiled slightly to her as I took my bag off the counter and headed out of the store. The clerk didn't take another glance at me, back to her magazine almost before she finished bagging the dress.
Stepping into the bustling hallways of the mall, the ever present din of indistinguishable sound created by the chatter of dozens of people as they milled about. Every now and then you could pick out coherent words from those people closest but for the most part I tended to, as I'm sure most others did, ignore anything that didn't flag me as aimed at me. Dodging past people I moved slowly around the circuit of the mall, glancing into other stores contemplating the displays they had.
Technically I was here shopping with a friend but we'd split up early, she'd wanted to hang back at a store we'd been to earlier and chat up a clerk she felt was to cute to pass up. So I'd wandered on on my own – I really didn't have much choice in the matter, she was my ride home. I could take the bus or a taxi but it really wouldn't be nice to just leave her here by herself even if she'd totally abandoned shopping in lieu of flirting. I knew our ride home would be filled with her chattering about the conversation they'd had.
Despite being twenty-four I didn't even have my drivers license, I didn't own a car so didn't feel the need to learn how to drive one. I wasn't the “can't sit still” type that had to be out and about all the time or they felt like they were going crazy. I was capable of just sitting at home and reading or working on my artwork and such things. The lack of car and the ability to just up and go wherever whenever never really bothered me. My presence at the mall was more to keep my friend company – as much as she seemed to want it now – rather then shop though in her absence I'd done that.
Slowly I wandered towards the store I'd left her in taking my time rummaging through a few
- 2 - clothing racks in various stores along the way. I doubt she was in a hurry to have me breathing down her neck and pestering her with curiosity at the remaining duration of her flirtatious conversation, honestly I really wasn't in a rush to stand there and watch her. But, we had to get home sometime and I didn't really feel like staying here any longer then I had to.
As I approached the store I could see through the windows that indeed my friend was still there leaning on the counter chatting with the guy behind it. There were no other customers in the store and I'm sure they preferred it that way – the look on his face suggested he enjoyed the attention he was getting. Not much it seemed would draw his attention away but as I walked into the store he looked up and smiled warmly at me, I couldn't help but smile back. The short exchange caught the attention of my friend and she turned around to see me.
“Sarah come meet Greg”, she waved me on, as if I'd have stopped moving towards her otherwise.
At first I ignored him, “So much for shopping Karen. Hi Greg, she been bugging you this whole time?”
“Oh well,” he spoke softer then I'd expected, “it beats just sitting here and watching people walk by that's for sure.”
“Greg has invited me to a club tonight, you wanna join us? Maybe find you a guy of your own? Or maybe a girl?”
Karen knew I was straight but liked to tease me in front of others. She'd been that way since I meet her back in junior high where she always joked about my secret desire for the female teacher rather then the boy who sat in front of us who, at one point, was almost my boyfriend before he decided against it and hooked up with someone from another room.
I didn't really put much thought into the invitation, clubs weren't really my thing – I looked at her sideways, “Hun you really think this,” I wiggled my hips a bit, “would look good on a dance floor? I don't think so.”
Greg smiled, “I wouldn't discount yourself so early on. Karen has regaled me with stories about you two dancing.”
“She tends to exaggerate or imagine I'm with her even when I'm not.”
“Oh come on Sarah, please please come with us, we're going to that new one on Main. Come on, it won't be the same without my best gal there.” she tried her best at puppy dog eyes.
I rolled mine, “I'll think about it.”
Both Greg and Karen smiled and I dropped out of the conversation and let them continue on. I turned my back to them for a bit and watched people moving about outside the store, a few coming to the outer displays and looking at things before moving on. I hoped a customer would come in so that I had and excuse to break the conversation and drag, if I had to, Karen outside.
As they continued talking I couldn't help but notice that Greg liked to linger on me when he did
- 3 - his sweeps of the store – if confronted he'd probably say he was looking for customers but I figured he was enjoying looking at me despite that Karen was the one doing all the flirting. Perhaps he preferred me, or was just getting tired of her constant thinly veiled comments about a “good time”. Or perhaps I was just dreaming to stave off the growing boredom and having to wait.
After another twenty minutes I'd had enough and pulled out an excuse Karen would be hard pressed to resist, “Ok hun, if you want to have time to get ready to go to the club tonight we gota go.”
She sighed but knew it was mostly true, “Guess I'll see you later Greg.”
She gave a parting grin to Greg and turned to me placing a hand on my back and moving with me as we exited the store. I stole a glance backwards and spotted Greg quickly turn away right before our eyes met. He was definitely checking me out too. It really didn't surprise me, it's not like he was dating Karen already.
“Well that went well, he seems like a nice guy so far. He was cute right Sarah?”
“Mhm, I'm sure you two will have a lot of fun later.”
“So is that a no to coming with us?”, she sounded disappointed though she should have known the answer before she asked.
“I don't know, you know it's really not my scene.”
“That's only cause you've never given it a proper chance, you keep thinking of some excuse to never do it. Come on, just this once?”
“You said that last time I went with you.”
“Pff, technicalities. Please? You can wear that new dress you have there.”, indicating the bag in my hand.
“And how do you know it's a dress? It could be jeans.”
“Girl, don't try to fool me, I know that store; it's a dress. Now come on, lets go.”
We'd reached the exit of the mall and moved out into the late springs cool breeze, the heels of winter still trying to keep from being thrown out completely. I walked silently a few steps behind Karen on the way to the car, I knew she'd keep pestering me to come with her and already felt myself giving in to her.
It wasn't till we were in the car and pulling out of our parking spot that started conversation again, our words destined to be split up by the radio she liked to turn up, “If I come along this better be the last time.”
She looked over at me smiling, “Maybe you'll get hooked on it and have to drag me out.”
“This I doubt.”
- 4 - “Who knows, maybe we'll both come away with second dates.”
“You think it's going to go that well?”
“Well Greg seems to like me, and I'm sure we can find someone willing to talk to you.”
I punched her in the arm at the implication that I was somehow bad looking or something that would make it hard for me to find a guy who'd talk to me, “Maybe I'll just steal Greg.”
“Oh no you don't, he's mine.”
“I don't know, he seemed to like looking at both of us.”
“He just needs some training.”
“I'm sure you'd like doing that, got a whip somewhere?”
It was Karen's turn to punch me in the arm, “Goof, not what I meant.”
“Sure.”, layering on the sarcasm.
“So are you really coming?”
I sighed a last time, “I guess so.”
“Yay, alright, so I'll come pick you up at what? Seven?”
“I'll try to be ready.”
“You better be, no wardrobe malfunction to get you out of coming now.”
Silently I hopped I hadn't just signed up for another boring night sitting in a dark corner with music at ear busting volumes while Karen had a good time dancing or flirting free drinks out of gullible guys. I knew she meant well, she wanted me to have a chance at finding a new boyfriend as much as she wanted one. I appreciated the sentiment but I just never felt comfortable in such a primal environment, it was just noise and motion – the lack of pose put me on edge and muddled my mind. It was impossible to be myself in such a setting. But then maybe that was the whole point, don't think just move, just show the opposite sex what you got and hope it satisfies. I just couldn't subscribe to such a raw interaction.
As we pulled to a stop in front of my apartment I pushed the thoughts aside. I grabbed my purse and dress bag and stepped out of the car. Before shutting the door I turned back to Karen,
“Last time for real.”
She just smiled and I closed the door and walked up to the six story building that I had lived in for the past year. My mind turned to planning my outfit by the time I'd reached the stairs and started climbing the three flights that would bring me to my floor.
- 5 - My apartment was modest, I hardly made the money of a top rung generic employee but I did well enough for myself. I paid rent fine and wasn't really lacking on amenities, I obviously had some spare cash for new dresses. Furnished for the most part by what pieces I could get from my parents or for cheap it was a place suitable for someone who didn't really spend much time at it. If it wasn't work it was Karen or other friends but it was nice to have some time to just sit and relax, unwind. I didn't get much time off and enjoyed what I got.
I dropped my purse by the door, kicked off my shoes and moved to my bedroom, tossing the dress bag on the bed. A quick glance to assure the blinds were closed I pulled off my clothes and threw them all in a pile on the floor. Running my hands over my bare stomach and tapping out a small rhythm I thought for a moment – pulling the dress out of the bag and laying it out on the bed I tried to decide which underwear and shoes would go best with it.
I still had a couple hours till Karen would be back to pick me up, it was plenty of time for me to get ready. I really wasn't that picky on things that I knew nobody would see. I rummaged through my dresser drawers and decided on a light pink set of bra and panties, a shade that was faint enough that they wouldn't bleed through the majority white fabric of the dress. A pair of modest two inch heels followed the underwear onto the bed next to the dress.
Outfit planned in a hurry I padded off still totally naked to my small kitchen and perused the fridge for something to eat. Clubs weren't exactly known for their full meals so it was best that I ate now, something that didn't involve grease flying on my bare skin was preferable. I combed my fingers through my hair as I idly decided on left over pizza that was probably a few days old. A quick trip to the microwave and I curled up on the couch and turned on the TV while eating.
Time crawled on as I finished eating and stretched out on the sofa to finish the show and closed my eyes during commercials. It wasn't napping in any way but I felt like it helped me feel more energized. It wasn't to long till I had to get up and head off for a needed shower. If my timing had worked out alright I should finish and be dressed and ready with a few minutes to spare for Karen to come pick me up.
A nice hot shower later, smelling of flowery soaps, I padded into my bedroom and slowly got dressed slightly contemplating leaving the panties out but pushing such an idea out. I really wasn't the kind of girl to be like that in public. Dressed and giving the mirror a quick twirl I grabbed my shoes and purse and headed on downstairs to wait for Karen, who knew how to be punctual.
She was actually already outside waiting by the time I walked out the front door having stopped at the base of the stairs to don my heels. By my mental clock, supplemented by a quick glance I'd taken before leaving my apartment she was practically right on the time she'd say she would pick me up. Typical Karen, not even traffic could make her late it seemed. She was smiling at me, probably from a mix of seeing me in my new dress and knowing that I'd be coming with her to a club, as I walked up to the car and got in.
“Hey hun, ready to go toy with some boys?”
“How would Greg feel?”
She laughed, “Don't worry about him, he's not coming for another hour or so. If we get there
- 6 - soon we got enough time to chat up at least one guy.”
“Karen, the ever prevalent boy teaser.”
“You know it. It's all fair game, they do it to us.”
“I know.”
“Lets go.”, she ruffled the skirt of her red dress that held her breasts by a hair breadth as she drove off.
I felt very conservative next to her. Not only did my dress appear to have stolen all her bust fabric but the contrast of “innocent white with flowers” to “scarlet red” certainly stood out. She went to tease and get guys, I was going because she dragged me. I was just glad she didn't comment on how my dress really wasn't in league of hers or some such competition as if I was trying to pick up as many guys as she was. She let me ride in silence as side streets and other cars went by.
Soon enough we arrived at the club and I took one last deep breath – the calm before the storm. Karen was hunting for a parking space with urgency as if the club would close hours early and left me to lock up once we were parked so that she could rush in. I shook my head as I walked casually to the door, the extra twenty seconds that she'd gain would do her no good, it was barely enough time to order a drink.
The door of the bar was more like a bridge between two different cities, the soundproofing of the place was impressive – as soon as I opened the door and took a single step inside my ears were assaulted by the loud thumping of an oversized base and a volume of music that no manufacturer should be aloud to build into speakers. I was on Karen's heels easily, she was standing not far from the entrance taking in the scope of the club. It was newly opened, a couple weeks at most, but it was a typical setup really. I certainly didn't feel it had much special over others I'd been dragged too. Bar, dance floor, to loud. Clubbing summed up.
Like in the mall, despite that Karen made such a big deal of dragging me along, it seemed like as soon as we walked in the place our “trip out together” lasted only so long as it took her to spot a cute guy she wanted to spend time with. I knew it wouldn't be long but we moved to a clear table while she perused the dance floor and took a seat. Like she had ADHD nearly as soon as she sat down she was up again and heading to the bar.
“You know Karen,” I spoke to her backside, “you can't order guys at the bar.”
She either felt like she wouldn't dignify me with a response or she didn't hear as she continued to walk away. I took the time during her absence to do my own scan of the place, I had nothing against guys – far from it – I just didn't think bars were the best place to meet them but while I was here may as well do as the locals do. I did spot a few nice looking guys but most of them already had dance partners. One couple in particular caught my eye, beyond the guy being fairly handsome the girl he was dancing with was dancing wearing a pair metal handcuffs. Watching her I knew it had to be an awkward way of dancing and, while it was something I may consider with the right guy, I didn't think I'd want the hassle of trying to dance like that.
- 7 - Karen returned from the bar with a drink in each hand and sat back down offering me one and sipping on the other. She joined me in watching the people all dancing about probably a lot more focused on a search then I'd done each solo man becoming a potential target for her to move to. She noticed the girl in the handcuffs and nudged me,
“Bet you'd like that huh. Should we have brought a pair of handcuffs for you? You could be buddies, maybe take her home.”
“Maybe we should cuff you to your bed at home so you can't drag me out here.”
Whether she was really considering it or just ignoring it I didn't know, Karen's back was to me and she didn't say anything afterwards. I really didn't mind the silence from her, I knew she'd run off to some guy any moment now and she knew I was joking just like she was. I say nursing my drink while trying to tune out the loud music and lose myself watching the dance in the hopes that time would slip away faster and I could just go home.
At some point Karen wandered off, I really didn't pay attention to her getting up and disappearing into the crowded dance floor. A few guys walked slowly by no doubt in an attempt to get my attention and give the silent invitation to start talking. They left disappointed till the next girl they saw as I was only staring blankly into the distance. It wasn't until a man sat next to me, placing his drink down with a bit of a thud, that I turned my head to see who it was.
“You don't look to enthused about being here, but I'm glad you came.” Greg was smiling at me as he took a sip out of a bottle of beer.
He had a warm smile, I appreciated it in such a place where the average guys intent was to see how far they could get me to go towards their bed or mine. Greg was here for Karen, wherever she was, and seemed like a nice guy who wanted me to be comfortable. I smiled meekly back at him.
“Karen's out there dancing.”
“That's alright, I'll hang out with you till she comes back.”
I shook my head, “Sorry you got snared by her, she really doesn't take dates very seriously. She may have already ditched you for someone else.”
Greg looked disappointed but not as much as I'd have expected, perhaps he already guessed as much or was just the type to try and get the best out of the worst. Whatever the case he didn't make any indication of leaving the table much less the club. If I didn't know any better he was going to take this opportunity to hit on me. He'd taken to looking at me back at the mall, he must think I was nice to look at and wasn't about to pass up learning about the rest of me.
“So what do you do when you're not being dragged to bars?”, he appeared to be putting back his beer quite fast – certainly so compared to my drink which had taken me the hour between our arrivals to get mostly done.
“Oh it's nothing special, it pays bills. I mostly just hang out with Karen or doodle.”
- 8 - “Come now, you don't have to be so modest and shy.”
I sighed, “Alright, I do telemarketing. It's a crap job and I'd like to walk out but I need the money. I enjoy my art but it really doesn't make any money.”
“And you think being a clerk in a mall is a glamour job?”
I laughed, “I guess we both got shit jobs huh.”
“Well, someone has to do them. So what kind of art do you do?”
“Oh well, it's really not that good yet. I enjoy it but I can barely do a person right. If you want big thighs and small hands I'm your gal.”
“Better then I could do, knowing my artistic touch I could make a stick figure look wrong.”, he shook his empty beer bottle around and set it down with a clank, “how about I go get us another round.”
I looked down at my drink which had a few drops left and just nodded. Greg got up and moved off to the bar. I really didn't time how long he was gone or pay attention to him, I was busy trying to spot Karen in the dance crowd – wondering if she knew or cared that Greg was here. Chances are she was moving through the crowd from guy to guy seeing who responded the most in the way she wanted. For the first time I was actually fine with this, because; thanks to Greg, I wasn't actually left alone by her actions. This time I had someone to talk to at least.
Pretty soon Greg returned with another beer for himself and some drink – he'd never asked and I never specified what I wanted – in a tumbler glass for me. He set both down and took his seat again, never actually moving to the spot right next to me, I guess he was trying to be a gentleman seeing as I wasn't the one he'd invited out. I took a sip of the mystery drink, it had a very pungent fruit taste but I could also taste distinct salt. It wasn't bad, probably not something I'd have ordered on my own but I couldn't complain, not only cause I didn't make a choice but I hadn't paid for it.
We chatted idly and I sipped at my drink, wondering how proof it was as I was getting a bit tipsy and it was only my second drink. Greg seemed to be getting there too, he went and got a third beer while I was still working on my second drink and he was probably getting to buzzed to notice all of the extra pauses and miscellaneous noises I was dropping into all of my replies. I'm pretty sure that Karen did drop by at some point and chatted a bit with Greg before vanishing back into the crowd.
“Well.. .. mm.. at least, at least she knows you came”, I spoke like I was drunk – which I was.
“Sarah dear I don't think you sound to good. Perhaps you should get some air.”
I didn't recall air helping inebriation but I didn't see the harm in going for some air with Greg, “Ookay”
I wobbled to my feet and leaned kinda heavily on Greg though he didn't seem to protest, he held my hand and guided me along like I was being led to a surprise birthday party. I followed without protest and soon we were out in the brisk evening air. The sun was still going down so it had only
- 9 - been a couple hours in there. My ears rang either from my mental state or from finally being away from the thundering music.
Greg was still leading me and I really didn't pay attention, my mind was fuzzy and walking seemed nice, his hands were firm and a bit rough. We didn't really walk far but it seemed like it took a long time to get to the side of the building – I could see, with blurry vision, a bunch of cars parked nearby. The sounds of people chatting drifted from close by, people out having a smoke or just taking a break from the noise and movement of the club.
Greg looked at me with my head lolling on his shoulder, “Maybe I should take you home.”
That seemed like a good idea, and I nodded not thinking of the fact that he didn't know where I lived or that I really couldn't think of the street name even if he had asked. It didn't seem to phase him and I followed the tug on my arm, through rows of cars and to some door of a car. He opened it and I smiled at him for being so nice. I crawled into what happened to be the back seat of his car and sat there dumbly while he closed the door and went around front. It didn't occur to me that he should drive after his beers.
“Here,” he tossed back something, “put those on.”
I looked at them and giggled, handcuffs like the girl in the bar. Karen would laugh. I fumbled a bit with them, my fingers not really being cooperative but eventually got the bracelet around my one wrist. I moved to do the other one when he stopped me,
“No no, behind your back silly.”
“Ooo”, I giggled again and moved my hands behind my back and fiddled with the cuffs more eventually, probably through dumb luck, getting the other bracelet to close around my other wrist. “Okay, all buckled.”
“Alright, you just lay your head down and we'll have you home in no time.”
“Mmm so nice...”
I fell rather then laid down and closed my eyes as the car rumbled to life. I didn't really think about the fact that I barely knew this guy or that he didn't know where my house was or that I was going to go to sleep in the back of his car handcuffed without means of escape while he drove me somewhere. I just hoped that the lights in front of my eyes would stop spinning long enough for me to fall asleep.
By the time I woke up it was really dark out and it hurt to open my eyes or move much so I refrained from it. I didn't feel the car anymore so I assumed we'd gotten where we were going. What I lay on wasn't exactly pillow top comfort but it was good enough. I vaguely detected that my hands were still cuffed behind me before I passed out again, asleep on what turned out to be a blanket thrown over hay, in a stall – in a barn, far away from city life and anything I knew. And I couldn't care less.
< Message edited by Jaquin -- 12/26/2011 9:56:27 PM >
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"The feeling of freedom, and freedom denied."
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Ponygirl - Chapter One - 
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