MissValerie77 -> Definition of "Switch" from a Switch (12/29/2011 7:35:16 AM)
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I have noticed there seems to be a lot of confusion with the true definition of a "Switch". I have been a Switch for 17 years now. Hopefully....this clears some things up. When it comes to defining any role, all roles have strong physical and psychological characteristics to them. With that said...here we go. I understand the full role of the dominant and the full role of the submissive. I understand both of these roles on all levels...physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. If I am in a dominant mood, I will pick that role and play it out fully for that session. Nowhere in that session will there be a submissive trait in me. I will lead, I will take control and stay in control. I will give the submissive what they want and need within their limits. I never mix dominant and submissive roles into the same session. That would create confusion for the other person/people involved. You need a solid state and to follow through with that to the fullest. I take whatever role I am in seriously and do not deviate from it at all. The next session, I will change roles if I want or if it is needed. When I change roles, I do everything that goes with that role. I act, react, behave, and think accordingly. I take the submissive role just as seriously. A switch can be any sexuality at all. Straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, transexual, and so on. A true switch has the full set of dominant and submissive qualities, knowledge, mannerisms, understandings, feelings, and ways of thinking inside of them to where they can bring them both out at any given point and time. However, a good switch should pick one role at a time to play until that particular session is completely finished. A session could last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours to weeks or more, depending on the people involved and what they agreed on. A bad switch will confuse you and interchange the roles too quickly and when the change is not really wanted or agreed upon. For people to fully engage in and enjoy a fantasy, they need to believe it is real. The only way they can believe it is real is if there is solid stability and it is made clear what everyone's role is and what is expected of them before the fantasy begins. You don't want a washed out fantasy taking place. This is not enjoyable for the dominant or the submissive and neither would get what they wanted and needed on all levels out of the wish-washiness. There are fake switches out there that call themselves a switch simply because they do not know who they are or what they want just yet. They are not bad people. They are just people discovering themselves and the world of kink. I don't recommend going to these kinds of people though if you're looking for a true switch. In fact, I wish they wouldn't call themselves "Switches" at all. It makes a bad name for us true switches. Sometimes though....their options from which to pick are limited. They can be forced to pick dom, sub, or switch. Therein lies the problem. They don't know so they select "Switch". A polite person will put that disclaimer in their profile though that they are not a true switch...that they chose it because they're new to things. The only way you will know a true "Switch" is like getting to know anyone else. Talking to them and interacting with them really well will tell you what you want to know. A true switch can show you they mean business within 5 minutes in person. Within 5 minutes, they should be able to show you they can have total control and then they can can give you full control. If you would like a list of "Switch" traits, here they are: - Takes control and gives control
- Has a commanding presence and has a quiet, passive presence
- Is serious, Is relaxed
- Punishes, Takes punishment well
- Uses authoritative words, Uses meek words
- Walks tall and strong, Walks gracefully and lowly
- Gives orders, Takes orders
- Leads, Follows
- Rough, Gentle
- Fixed when need be, Adaptable when need be
- Wants, needs, and takes power....Wants and needs to give power away
- Takes responsibility, Wants to be free from responsibility
- Strict, Lax
- Talks, Listens
Some other additional traits you would want in a "Switch" that not all switches have, but should have are: - Respectful
- Clean
- Intelligent
- Understanding
- Sane
- Careful
- Detailed
Hopefully this helped those of you who are utterly confused with exactly what a "Switch" is. Of course...the only way to really know is to experience one for yourself.~[;)]
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